A New Beginning
by AliyahNCIS
Summary: Jenny has to make a decision that will change her and Gibbs' lives significantly and possibly forever. Also, changes in team relationships bring joy as well as difficulty. Sequel to A Price to Pay, third story in the Only in My Dreams Universe series. *DISCONTINUED* My sincerest apologies to all those following this story.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: This is a sequel to my "super-fic", __**A Price to Pay**__, so it won't mean quite as much if you don't have the background from that story to go with this one. However, it may still be a good read. You be the judge. And for all those who stuck with me through the journey that APTP became, welcome back and enjoy :) Thanks for reading!_

It had been two months since the nightmare that had rattled Jenny Gibbs' life to the core. She had been slowly working her way back to healing, finding her way back to the relationship she shared with her husband. And now this. She sat on the edge of the bathtub staring at the stick in her hand, two blue lines declaring without a doubt, that it was positive. _Oh my gosh_, she thought, _I'm pregnant_.

_**Two Hours Earlier...**_

The phone rang. "Director Shepard," Jenny answered.

"It's Dr. Mariott, Jenny."

Jenny smiled. "Oh, hi Sarah. Still having fun playing with needles and using unsuspecting patients as pincushions?"

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Very funny. I'm actually just returning your phone call."

"Great. Did you finally get the results back?" Jenny asked.

About three weeks after her first doctor's appointment, Jenny called to see if her bloodwork had come back yet. Sarah checked into it only to find that the lab had somehow misplaced the samples she'd sent. It was another week before Jenny had time for an appointment with her doctor to get more blood drawn. Those were the results Jenny was expecting now.

Dr. Mariott was uncharacteristically hesitant. "I did." She paused. "And I think it's going to come as a bit of a shock to you."

Jenny's heart pounded. "What?" She held her breath, hoping, praying she didn't have an STD or something form her attacker.

Sarah took a deep breath. "You're pregnant Jenny."

Jenny closed her eyes. _Please God, no, not this_, she thought. "Are you sure?" her voice quivered.

"I am Jenny. I thought you'd want to know."

"Yes, thank you," Jenny said automatically. "Goodbye."

She put her hands over her eyes, fighting back a shudder as memories from the bunker assailed her. Naked, helpless. The man on top of her, inside her. Ruthless, relentless. The worst two days of her life. And now she carried inside her womb a child conceived in horror.

Jenny's hand was shaking when she pressed the intercom button on her phone. "Cynthia, can you come here please?" Her voice sounded weak, even to her own ears.

Her assistant appeared in the doorway moments later. "Director?"

"Cancel all my appointments today. Reschedule them for later this week."

"Are you alright?" Cynthia asked, looking concerned.

"I'll be working from home," she continued as if her assistant hadn't spoken. "Please see that I'm not disturbed unless it's a dire emergency." Cynthia hesitated. "Thank you Cynthia," Jenny said, and the door closed behind her.

In familiar, almost mechanical movements, Jenny put on her coat and took only her purse from the room. A glance into the bullpen on her way to the elevator showed that Gibbs and the team were out. In a way, she was glad. After all, what would she say to him? Jethro had been her strength and shelter these last two months, and now things were finally starting to get better. He would take one look at her and know something was wrong. After all that they'd been through together, how could she tell him this?

At the parking garage, Jenny waved off her security detail and got into her own car that she'd driven to work this morning. More afraid of what would happen to them if Agent Gibbs found out they'd left her than the Director's orders, Special Agents Tierney and McGregor discreetly tailed Director Shepard downtown, watching as she walked into a pharmacy and appeared several minutes later with a small, brown paper bag clutched in her hand. When she arrived home, they parked across the street as usual, silent guardians.

Once inside her house, Jenny took off her coat and shoes and went upstairs to use the bathroom off her bedroom. It was a several minute process, and after a tense 120 seconds waiting for confirmation of what she'd been told or the denial she was hoping for, Jenny picked up the test and sat, shocked, on the edge of the bathtub, having no idea what to do next.

**NCIS**

Special Agent Gibbs strode quickly into the Director's outer office. "Need to see her Cynthia," he said in passing, on his way by her desk. It was his standard reply, delivered before Jenny's assistant could protest. Not that it made her want to let him see his wife any more, but Gibbs considered it making an effort.

Cynthia shook her head, a serious expression on her face. "The Director isn't in, Special Agent Gibbs."

He turned. "Where is she Cynthia? MTAC? A meeting?"

The Director's assistant shook her head 'no' to each question and swallowed. "She...told me to cancel all her appointments, that she's working from home today."

"What happened?" Now Gibbs was worried.

While Jenny's flashbacks and nightmares were slowly getting further apart, they still messed with her mind when they came. Sometimes it still took her the whole day to shake the feelings and let the memories go again. But Jenny never just left without telling him anymore, not for weeks. And if she hadn't called him or left a note, as she tried to do when something was going on, he hated to speculate as to the reason.

Cynthia shook her head. "I don't know. But something was definitely wrong."

Without a word, Gibbs left the room. Rushing downstairs, he pointed at Tony as he walked by. "You're in charge DiNozzo."

"Boss?" Tony asked.

Gibbs ignored him. "Ziva, go find out what Abby knows. Tony, check with Ducky. McGee, we need that background on Calligan now!" He pushed the button on the elevator, feeling his agents' eyes on him. "What?" he growled, turning to face them.

"What is going on Gibbs?" Ziva asked gently.

Gibbs sighed. The team had made an great effort over this last month to get more involved with him and Jenny and her healing. He and Jenny were trying harder to share how they were doing, and the team was trying harder to ask how things were and find out if there was anything they could do to help. It didn't make Gibbs' and Jenny's journey any easier, but it was definitely nice to feel like a family again.

"Jenny left," he said tersely, loathe to spend any more time standing around. "No note or message. I'm worried." While he did not like showing weakness in front of them, Gibbs knew he was not the only one here who cared about Jenny.

"Is there anything we can do Boss?" Tony asked seriously, with none of his usual jokes.

"Your jobs," Gibbs said, as the elevator doors opened. "I'll try to be back later. Don't call if I'm not." He nodded at them as the doors slid shut and swallowed him up.

Breaking several well known and a few unwritten rules of the road, Gibbs rushed home. He ran in the door, dropped his keys in the dish, and was calling his wife's name before he even made it up the stairs.

"Jenny?" No answer.

A glance around their room showed that she wasn't in it. But the door to the bathroom stood open and there Gibbs saw his wife, still dressed in her work suit, sitting on the floor in front of the bathtub, staring at whatever she was holding in her hands.

"Jenny?" he said softer, coming towards her and lowering himself to the floor. She didn't react to his voice, nor his presence. Gibbs frowned and reached for whatever she held. But Jenny clutched the object tighter and wouldn't look at him. He sighed.

"Come on Jen, talk to me. Whatever is wrong, I'm here, I promise. Please don't push me away again sweetheart." They'd worked so hard to get back their closeness and trust, but he sensed that whatever was wrong now was going to test it all over again.

His words broke through the fog in Jenny's mind and she raised troubled eyes full of uncertainty to meet his. Gibbs narrowed his gaze when he saw some of the shadows were back, the ones from the bunker. Slowly she handed over the small, white stick she held. Gibbs' eyes widened. It maybe have been almost twenty-five years since the last time he'd seen one, but he recognized the pregnancy test.

Startled, he looked back at her. "Jen?"

Gibbs' first reaction was to be elated at the prospect that they were pregnant. It had been nine months since they were married, and protection had never been something they worried about. Granted though, they were still working their way back to a physical relationship and things were slow.

Suddenly the reason for the dread in Jenny's face made sense. It had been two months since she'd been kidnapped and raped. They had only been together a handful of times in the last month. So in all likelihood, if she was far enough along for it to be showing up on a pregnancy test, Jenny was pregnant with her attacker's child.

It was an emotional blow to Gibbs, who couldn't think of any greater joy than having a child with the woman he loved. Then he thought of his wife and what she must be feeling because of this, and knew she was his first concern. He could deal with his own emotions about the situation later.

Gibbs slid closer to her, mindful that this news could and probably would bring up painful memories and feelings. Slowly he went to put his arm around Jenny, but she pushed away from him, shaking her head, still not able to keep eye contact with him.

"Don't," she whispered, holding her hands out in front of her like a leper, "don't touch me Jethro. I feel..." she closed her eyes, "I feel dirty all over again. If you touch me now, you might get it on you."

They'd been over this before, but right now that didn't help her any. "Please Jenny," he whispered, "don't try to do this on your own. I promise you that you are not dirty to me. You are not soiled or damaged. You're my wife, I love you. Please."

It was several moments that they both sat there, Gibbs silently begging Jenny to let him in and Jenny trying to deal with everything that was going on in her head. But at last she relented to the yearning in his eyes and let Gibbs draw her close to his side. She curled up against him, silent tears on her cheeks.

"I wish it was yours," Jenny whispered, and he felt the same way.

Gibbs swallowed. "Me too Jen. But it's okay, we can still do this together." However much it would hurt to have a physical reminder around of what was done to her, Jenny still carried a new life inside her. And regardless of how it was conceived, he would still be this child's father, because he loved it's mother. This child was a part of Jenny too.

Jenny stiffened, and distanced herself from him, shock written all over her face. "How can you even say that Jethro? Like it's already decided that I'm going to keep it?"

The ice in her tone scared Gibbs. It was his turn to be shocked. "What are you saying Jenny?" Surely she wasn't thinking...? He left the thought unfinished.

"Jethro, I'm pregnant because I was raped. Did you honestly think I would want to keep this baby?" Expression tight, Jenny tried to make him understand.

"Are you saying you'd give the child up?" Gibbs asked incredulously.

Jenny crossed her arms, narrowing her gaze into a hard point. "I'm saying we might not get that far."

"No Jen!" Gibbs stood up. "Look, I know this is a shock, but a child is a blessing no matter how it starts. Please Jen," he begged. "I'm telling you now, I would love this baby. We could raise it together."

Her eyes flashed. "Could you really love the child of a man who raped me?"

"It's part of you too Jen," he said softly, pacing away from her, trying to calm down. This was not the time to be yelling at his wife. But Jenny wasn't done yet.

"A part of me, Jethro?" she asked in disbelief. Her voice rose, the tension palatable. "It is a part I did not willingly give up!"

Gibbs glared back. "I didn't say that you did! Aargh!" He gave a frustrated growl. "I can't believe what I'm hearing you suggest. Do you know what I would give for just one more minute with my child, and you're talking about killing one?" He thrust his fingers through his hair. "I know this is hard..."

"No!" Jenny pushed herself up. "You don't know anything Jethro. How can you lecture me on this? After all I've gone through in the last two months, now I have to deal with more? Well, I won't. Just leave! Get out!" She was shouting now, angry and hurt.

She shoved him out the bathroom door. Gibbs heard the lock click and moments later, Jenny's quiet cries. Sinking down on the edge of the bed, Gibbs wondered what he'd just done.

_A/N2: I am aware that for the first several chapters of this story you may feel the strong urge to hate me. Please try to resist. I promise that there will be a happy ending somewhere down the road :) Thanks!_


	2. Chapter 2

Abby came up to the bullpen. "Where's Gibbs?" she asked cheerfully, darting her gaze up at the Director's office.

McGee glanced at Tony and Ziva first and then cleared his throat. "He, uh...he went home Abby. Said he needed to check on Jenny. She left and he was worried something might be wrong."

Abby's eyes widened and she dropped what she was holding, spun around, and ran for the elevator. She would've headed downstairs and out to her car to drive over to Jenny's house if Tony hadn't anticipated that she'd bolt and caught her after a few steps.

He held her from behind, tightly against his chest, trying to calm her struggles. "Abs, Abs," he said softly in her ear. "You can't go."

McGee was on his feet now. Abby was his girlfriend, he should be the one intervening.

"Why can't I?" Abby protested, still wiggling. "Let me go Tony!" she insisted.

When Tony saw McGee out of the corner of his eyes, he released Abby, only to let her fall into her boyfriend's arms.

"Timmy," she looked at him like he would listen but McGee shook his head, lacing his fingers with hers to keep her with him.

"You can't Abby. None of us can. Gibbs wanted to do this alone. He said we couldn't call," McGee added when Abby's hand automatically went for her cellphone.

Ziva put her hand on Abby's back. "I am sure everything is fine Abby."

Abby glared at the Israeli, her fury remarkably similar to the hostility she'd shown when Ziva first arrived to be part of the team. "How would you know Officer David?" She pushed away from McGee, pacing angrily. "Why won't he let us help?" she demanded, though none of them knew the answer. "We're supposed to be a family." Then she turned and fled to the back elevator, back down to her sanctuary of a lab, where almost everything made sense.

Tony watched her go, McGee felt helpless, and Ziva frowned. "She is not usually that..." she searched for a word but couldn't find it. "Explosive?"

"Good enough," Tony said, rubbing the back of his neck. It was something he'd picked up from Gibbs. The Boss did it when he was stressed.

McGee gave Ziva a small, tight smile. "She's not really mad at you Ziva, or any of us. It's just...Gibbs." He shrugged. "No one is allowed to get in the way of their bond. She's just worried and we're the only ones around to take it out on."

"Jenny has gone home before," Ziva pointed out.

"That was weeks ago," Tony answered. "The last month she and Gibbs seemed to have turned a corner. I mean, she's still seeing the shrink and she still has off days, but I don't think it's as bad as it was." He glanced over his shoulder at the elevator. "If I was Gibbs I would be worried too."

"If you start playing Gibbs..." Ziva warned, smirking at him. There was too much heaviness in the bullpen and they needed a little humour. "You should know that I sharpened my knife this morning."

Tony held up his hands in surrender. "Easy there Ninja, I need all my limbs and everything else that could possibly be cut off to do my job properly, thanks. Plus," he added with a grin, "death by flipping knife is not the way I want to go out."

She tossed a wad of paper at Tony's desk. "Then do not annoy me."

Tony snickered but didn't promise anything. Ziva was way too much fun not to tease. However...he glanced at her and then at McGee. Sometimes planning something together against the eternal Probie was way more fun. Tony opened his desk drawer, trying to remember where he put the super glue.

**NCIS**

After awhile Jenny just couldn't cry anymore. Standing up, she looked at her ruined make-up and tear stained face with disdain. Grabbing a washcloth, Jenny took her time removing her make-up. The woman who stared back at her looked younger and afraid, not so much in control as the Director Shepard she'd been two and a half hours aga.

Jenny sighed. Turning sideways, she tugged her blouse out of her pants and lifted it up past her ribs, running one hand over the smooth skin. Her stomach was flat now, but somewhere inside her was growing a life that she had not asked for. Had she wanted to be pregnant? Of course. But not like this. Not by a stranger who'd violated her instead of her husband whom she loved.

It was too much to deal with and she didn't know what to do. Jenny wished desperately that Jethro could be holding her right now. He would be, if she hadn't made him leave. But he didn't understand. She frowned angrily at her reflection. Why was he so eager for her to keep this baby? Why did he want a lifelong reminder of what she'd suffered?

It wasn't fair of him to bring up Kelly. This was her life, wasn't it? But a voice inside reminded Jenny that she shared her life now, and her body, with the man in the next room. They belonged to each other and whatever decision she made would affect both of them, maybe forever.

Would Jethro ever look at her the same way if she were to get an abortion? Could she look at herself if she did it? Did she want this baby's death on her hands, her conscience? _Well, maybe it isn't a baby yet_, another voice argued._ It's not like you can be that far along_.

As much as Jenny knew it would be easier to believe that, when she began ticking off the weeks on her fingers, her heart dropped at the number. _Nine. I could be nine weeks pregnant right now. That's more than two months. Surely by then it's already a baby. I can't even justify it based on barely being pregnant._

With nowhere left to go, Jenny sank to her knees on the bathroom floor and dropped her head into her hands. October had been a nightmare, November had been almost normal. If December continued the way it started, Jenny wasn't sure she would be strong enough to go through it on her own.

**NCIS**

It was an hour before Gibbs got up the courage to try to talk to his wife again. He had spent the whole time sitting on the floor beside their bed, replaying the conversation from the bathroom over and over in his mind, second-guessing every word. Gibbs didn't know what he would've changed, everything he told Jenny was the truth. No matter how the life inside her had started, it was a blessing.

Kids were his weakness and it had been so long since Kelly...already he was thinking about what it would be like to hold a baby again. He loved Jenny. The baby she carried was half her, and Gibbs knew he could love the child, that he and Jenny could raise him or her together. But maybe it hadn't been the truth his wife needed to hear in that moment. He sighed and walked the four feet to the bathroom door.

Gibbs knew Jenny wouldn't let him in, but even so he knocked softly at the door before quickly picking the lock. When the door swung open, Jenny was slumped on the floor, as if she'd crumpled where she stood and now didn't know what to do or where to go.

He moved to her, taking her in his arms, hoping she wouldn't resist. "I'm sorry Jen," he whispered.

Jenny seemed to have no strength left as her full body weight rested against him. "I can't talk about this anymore Jethro," she said dully, her voice emotionless. Before Gibbs could even open his mouth to respond, she added the one word he wouldn't argue with. "Please." The desperate note in Jenny's tone convinced him.

"Okay Jen," Gibbs kept his voice soft. He lifted her off the floor and didn't let go of her once she was standing. "Come on," he said gently, turning her towards their room. "We need to get out of here. Let's go for a walk."

**NCIS**

The bullpen had dwindled to two members remaining since McGee had disappeared a few minutes before, though neither senior field agent nor Mossad Liaison Officer had to work too hard to guess where he was headed. They were all distressed by Abby's reaction to not knowing what was wrong with Jenny earlier.

After a while Tony looked up. "What do you think happened to Jenny?"

Ziva shrugged, her expression serious. "Nightmare, flashback, something someone said or did which triggered a memory. You remember what they told us. It could be anything."

"Yeah," Tony frowned, tapping his fingers on his desk. "I just wish we knew what."

Ziva sat back and met his gaze, finding her own concern mirrored there. She knew, just as they all did, that something wasn't right with their bosses, but this time they had no way of finding out until Gibbs and Jenny decided to share. She just hoped her friend would open up before whatever it was got a whole lot worse.

**NCIS**

When McGee walked into the lab later that afternoon, Abby looked over her shoulder and crossed her arms, presenting him with her back.

"I don't want to talk to you right now Timmy," she said, facing her computers.

McGee set down the Caf-Pow he carried, knowing a peace offering wasn't what she needed. He approached Abby and stood behind his girlfriend, slipping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder.

Abby stiffened and wriggled against him, trying to get him to let her go.

"I'm sorry Abbs," McGee said quietly, his hold on her gentle and undemanding, treating her as the treasure she was to him.

Abby frowned, suppressing the urge to turn around and bury her face in his neck. McGee pulled her a little closer to him. Abby lost her battle and turned in his arms, lifting hers around his neck and resting her head on his shoulder.

"I'm still mad at you, you know," she said against his skin, her breath warm.

McGee's arms tightened around her back. "I know," he said heavily.

Abby leaned back. "What if something's wrong Tim? What if they need us and we don't go?"

He brought his hand to her face, searching her eyes as he begged for her understanding. "Sometimes they forget they need us Abby. Sometimes they won't let us help."

Abby clung to her boyfriend as his words sank in and she knew how true they were. McGee sighed, feeling in her touch that he was forgiven for not letting her go. This time he was the one that pulled back, but only far enough to capture her lips. They were soft and yielding under his mouth, drinking in the comfort he was offering.

In the end, it was Abby who broke the kiss and McGee saw a glimmer of her smile coming back. "At least we don't have to worry about getting caught this time," she pointed out.

McGee leaned back against the table, Abby still in his arms. "Think that 'no making out in the lab' rule will apply when we're married?"

Abby's eyebrows rose. Tim had been dropping comments about their future into the conversation with increasing frequency over the last month. Abby was just itching for him to ask her so they could stop with this game they were playing and start their lives together. But she didn't want to press him, knowing that whatever his reasons for waiting, they were probably good ones. Abby knew McGee wanted them to be married as much as she did.

"Not if we lock the door," she replied saucily. "What?" she asked at his look. "You think Gibbs and Jenny don't occasionally use her office for something other than professional purposes?"

"Breaking rules Abbs?" McGee teased. She kept Gibbs' rules as carefully as if they were her own rules for life.

"Only the necessary ones," Abby shrugged and leaned closer, grinning before she kissed him. "And only with you Tim."

McGee's eyes widened. "I would certainly hope so."

Abby rolled her eyes and smacked his shoulder.

"Ow," he complained, "what was that for?"

"Thinking when you should be kissing me Timmy," Abby replied matter-of-factly.

He could hardly argue with that logic and tilted her chin up. "I love you Abbs," he murmured against her lips before kissing her.

Abby sighed happily. "Yeah, I know. Always Timmy?" she demanded quietly.

"Always Abby. Promise."

She laid her head down on his shoulder, willing to ignore the evidence she was working on for just another moment of being like this with her boyfriend. He loved her, she loved him, and if Gibbs and Jenny would just let them help with...whatever this new issue was, life would be good.

**NCIS**

Kristyn checked her watch again. Jenny still wasn't here. She opened the door and looked at Sophie, her receptionist. "Did Director Shepard's office call?"

The girl shook her head. "No Dr. Renway, I haven't heard from her."

Closing her office door again, Kristyn looked at the calendar on her desk. Yes, it was definitely Wednesday. This marked the beginning of Jenny's first week where she was down to one session, instead of two. She'd never missed before, it had been weeks since she'd even tried to get out of therapy. Something didn't feel right.

Picking up her phone, Kristyn dialed the extension for Jenny's office.

"Director Shepard's office," her assistant said crisply.

"Hello Cynthia, this is Dr. Kristyn Renway calling. I had an appointment with Jenny twenty minutes ago. Did she get caught in a meeting?"

Cynthia paused and bit her lip. "No. I'm afraid Director Shepard has gone home for the day. Would you like to leave a message?"

_Jenny, gone home, before seven pm?_ Kristyn shook her head. That was not normal. She took a breath. "Alright Cynthia, thank you. Just have her call me when she gets in tomorrow, will you please?"

"Of course. Goodbye." Cynthia hung up and jotted down the message. Jenny's door was locked but she'd be in tomorrow and messages were a part of the routine. Adding Dr. Renway's to the stack that was starting to accumulate, Cynthia went back to her computer to update the latest reports.

**NCIS**

There was silence between the husband and wife who lay together in bed but yet were a million miles apart. That's all Gibbs had heard today, silence. Silence while he and Jenny had gone out for some fresh air. Silence as they'd tried to choke down some dinner later. Silence while they sat on the couch, a random channel blurting out senseless nonsense that neither was listening to. Gibbs was beginning to hate silence.

Over and over in his mind, he struggled to work out how to fix this. But this wasn't a trivial thing like what colour to paint the walls or buying a new car. There was a life involved and that changed everything. He didn't know what the right answer was this time, only what he thought it should be. And this time it couldn't be his choice.

Gibbs didn't even have to turn his head to see Jenny, curled up on her side away from him. This was so much worse than before, six weeks ago when they'd lain like this. Then there was a reason, something holding them back. But for the last month they'd often fallen asleep in each other's arms. He'd finally had permission to touch her again and Gibbs had loved it. That was all gone now, at least for awhile. This was one thing he couldn't fix. And admitting that fact made him feel more helpless than he'd felt since his girls had died.

On her side of the bed, Jenny looked at the clock for the hundredth time, but the numbers wouldn't go any faster and she didn't think she'd be getting any sleep tonight. After a long while, Jenny rolled over and faced her husband, who lay a scant foot and a half away on the queen-sized bed. She knew they couldn't keep doing this. No matter what was going on and regardless of the shock of today, they couldn't let anything come between them again.

Tentatively, Jenny reached out one hand and laid it on her husband's arm. "Jethro?" she whispered into the darkness. "Are you awake?"

Gibbs sighed and turned towards her. "Yeah Jen, I'm awake."

Jenny bit her lip. "I don't know what to say," she admitted, "but we can't keep this up."

He took her hand, holding it lightly in his, thankful for even the smallest contact with her right now. "Do you want to talk about it? How you're feeling about," he swallowed, "being pregnant?"

Jenny closed her eyes and Gibbs could feel her flinch at his words. Instead of answering, she tossed the question back at him. "How do you feel about it Jethro?"

She wasn't going to make this easy. Gibbs held his breath, wondering how honest they were ready to be. This wasn't the good kind of honesty that felt like a weight lifted off one's chest, but rather the bad, painful kind of truth that would tear at their hearts and leave them both wounded and perhaps, feeling even more alone. Still, if they didn't talk now, they might not talk at all, and that had to be worse, right?

"It's killing me Jen," Gibbs said at last. "I hate knowing what he did to you, but I knew eventually it would intrude into our lives and our relationship less. But to be pregnant by him..." he clenched his teeth, "I don't know what to feel. It's still a life that's inside of you, and that complicates everything."

Jenny tightened her grip on her husband's hand. "I hate it," she revealed quietly. "I hate what happened, I hate not being able to forget, and I hate this news for making it all come back so real again." She was crying now, the words coming whether she wanted them to or not, years and months of longing being poured out because she could no longer hold it back.

"Do you have any idea how much I wanted to be pregnant Jethro?" she whispered. "How I hoped, when we got married? And every month took me further and further away from that dream." Jenny put her hand on Gibbs' cheek. "I love you Jethro, and I am so happy to be married to you. But I wanted to make you a father again, to know the joy of carrying your child, of being pregnant by you, to forever have that living, breathing reminder of our love."

Gibbs' throat was tight, his words, when they left his mouth, broken. "You never told me Jen. Why didn't you ever tell me?" He should've known, somehow, he should've known how much that would've meant to her.

Jenny shook her head sadly. "We couldn't talk about kids Jethro, we never could, not since that case..."

Gibb remembered. "And the comment I made."

She was quiet for a minute. "If I thought for a moment you were serious, I might've said yes."

Her comment floored Gibbs. "Oh Jen." He couldn't manage any more than that.

Jenny shrugged. "Besides, how could I tell you?" She continued as if they hadn't taken another missed moment out of their past. "If it never happened it would be another disappointment for me and you would blame yourself. I didn't want to put you through that."

"Jenny, this thing with the secrets has got to stop," Gibbs brought her hand to his lips, practically begging. "It's only hurting us more when they come out."

Her eyes widened and she pulled away from him. "This, coming from the man whose whole life is a secret? Who hides his feelings so well that some days I don't even know where they are?"

Jenny looked at him with dark eyes full of hurt. "You had a life before me Jethro, a wife and a daughter, ten years with a family. But you never talk about them, not ever! I never wanted to pry, to push you, because I knew it hurt. But I can see it in your eyes, I know when you're thinking about them. It's a part of your life you've never let me into and I don't know how to feel about that. Except that I hate when you're hurting and I can't help."

Listening to Jenny's distressed tone of voice, Gibbs knew things were getting out of hand. What was supposed to be an honest conversation about their feelings tonight had been turned into something that wasn't quite a fight about everything they'd never shared with each other. And he really didn't want to fight with Jenny, especially not tonight.

"Jen please," he implored, "we can go over all this again later. There's obviously a lot neither of us knew, a lot we still need to tell each other. But right now we need to talk about what we're going to do about...about the baby."

"We?" Jenny spat at him, sitting up. "No," she said firmly, "there is no 'we' this time Jethro." She closed her eyes, balling her hands into fists. "There can't be. This has to be my decision." Jenny looked at him sadly. "I can't let your memories of Kelly try to decide this for me. I'm sorry." She got out of bed and Gibbs looked alarmed.

"Where are you going Jen?" he asked hoarsely. Everything tonight had been too much.

Jenny didn't meet his eyes. "I've got some files to go over." She took her pillow and grabbed her fluffy housecoat from the back off the door. "Good night Jethro."

When she was gone, Gibbs lay there and looked at the door. He had no answers this time and every time he opened his mouth he seemed to make the situation worse. And married or not, Jenny was going to make this decision without him. What Gibbs had to figure out now, was if he would still be able to love her the same if she ended the pregnancy. Was 'I love you no matter what' strong enough to survive that kind of loss? He wondered if they were about to find out.

**NCIS**

The next morning when the alarm woke him up, Gibbs rolled over to find a note where his wife's pillow used to be. He didn't think he'd slept after Jenny left, but he must've dropped off at some point without realizing it. Reaching for the folded paper and rubbing bleary eyes, Gibbs read the words and realized that nothing had changed. Jenny wasn't going to relent in her determination to do this herself.

_Dear Jethro_, the note said, _I'm in the study. I called Cynthia, staying home from work today. You go, I really need some time by myself to try to figure things out. I'm sorry. J_.

Gibbs smoothed his fingers over her graceful writing and sighed. She wasn't letting him help this time. What was he supposed to do now? He thought for a long moment. Well, maybe he didn't know, but he knew who he could talk to, and he'd never needed the support more than he did right now. Grabbing his cellphone, Gibbs dialed a number.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: My apologies if anyone else feels like nothing has happened in this chapter. It's past midnight, I'm pretty tired, and I just don't have the energy to write any more tonight. The next one will hopefully be more. Thanks for reading!_

Bill was already leaning against his car, waiting, when Gibbs pulled up in front of the coffee shop they frequented.

"I was surprised to get your call this morning Gunny," he said, shaking his friend's hand. "Merry is quite concerned. She's enjoyed getting to know Jenny over the last month."

Gibbs tried to smile. "It's nice of her to care."

Bill frowned slightly. "Of course we care. What's this about Jethro?"

Looking around, Gibbs knew he couldn't face people yet. Going for a walk would be too distracting, even though he wished he had something to do with his agitation. He sighed.

"Let's sit in my car," Bill suggested, his stomach tightening at the distress on Gibbs' face. Whatever the issue was, it was obviously serious, to be affecting the former Marine so much.

Gratefully, Gibbs accepted the offer. When both men were settled in their seats, Bill spoke first.

"It's been awhile since you needed to talk to me this urgently Jethro," the man said, his words betraying his concern. "We just saw you and Jenny last week for supper and things seemed to be going very well, considering everything. What happened?"

Gibbs met his friend's eyes. "Jenny's pregnant."

Before Bill's face could even begin to form the smile usually expected with news like that, his mind went back to his first conversation with Gibbs about Jenny and quickly ran through the events of the past two months. Immediately Bill understood why Gibbs looked like he'd been shot.

"Oh Gunny," he said quietly, but stopped, knowing no words would help.

Gibbs closed his eyes. "Jenny...Jenny's thinking about ending the pregnancy."

Bill's eyes widened. "Is that what you want?"

He and Meredith had never been able to have children. After three pregnancies that ended in miscarriage, they stopped trying. Neither one of them had the strength to go through it again. Bill abhorred the thought of abortion, but he knew many people did not agree, so he wisely said nothing else.

Gibbs dragged one hand down his face. "I don't know what I want anymore Bill. I just wanted life to stay normal for awhile. Was that too much to ask?"

"Have you and Jenny talked about this together?" Bill asked.

"We only just found out yesterday and it was a shock. I tried to talk to her but it only made a bigger mess of things." He sighed. "She slept in her study for part of last night. Or maybe she worked, I don't know. She didn't want to see me."

Bill shook his head. "That can't continue. You need to try talking with her again Gunny."

"She won't talk to me Bill!" Gibbs said vehemently, scraping his fingers through his hair. "What am I supposed to do?"

"What will happen if Jenny does get an abortion?" Bill prodded gently. "What then?"

"Well, I guess her problem is solved then, isn't it?" Gibbs' tone was sharp and cutting.

"And what about you and Jenny, your marriage? You're in the middle of 'for better or for worse', my friend. You have to decide if it's worth it, if she's worth it."

Gibbs' eyes snapped to Bill's. He didn't even have to think about it. "She's worth everything."

"I guess you have your answer then," the older man smiled slightly. "What are you going to do with it?"

Gibbs shook his head slowly, eyes full of pain. "What am I supposed to do with it?"

"Love her Jethro, just like you've been doing. Support her, talk if she wants to but don't push. This is so much for her to deal with on top of everything else. In a way it's almost more personal than when she was raped. She might actually break this time. And if that happens, she's going to need you to pick up the pieces whether she thinks she does or not." Bill tapped his fingers on the steering wheel and thought for a moment. "Do you think Jenny would talk to Merry?"

Gibbs shrugged. "Can't make any promises. She's home today but she didn't want me to stay."

Bill regarded his friend carefully. "What happened yesterday Jethro? Why aren't you and Jenny speaking?"

"I want her to keep the baby, but Jenny...she can't even think past how it was conceived. She said it's her choice, that my opinion is based on losing Kelly."

"Is it?" Bill cut in, knowing that was a likely possibility.

Gibbs' eyes were very far away. "The thought of losing another child, even one that isn't technically mine...it just seems so wrong Bill."

"So you tried to involve yourself in her decision." Bill wasn't a thick man, he could read between the lines.

"We're married," Gibbs stated desperately, "doesn't that mean anything?" Bill could hear the pain in his voice.

"Of course it means something Jethro, but this situation isn't about you, not really. Whatever the decision, it has to be what's best for Jenny."

Gibbs glared at his friend. "You do know you make it very hard for me to feel like I'm still right?"

Bill smiled. "A good friend will always be honest with you Jethro, even if the truth isn't something you really want to hear."

"'I love you' is not as easy as it sounds," Gibbs mused heavily.

"No," Bill agreed, "but the work it takes is never wasted. Everything you and Jenny have gone through during these past two months is slowly refining your love into gold. With that you'll be able to withstand anything together."

Gibbs wished he could be so sure. "There's so much I didn't know," he said suddenly, the words sad.

"About Jenny?" Bill questioned.

"About how she felt," he clarified. "I never knew how much she wanted to be pregnant, that she'd rather I talked about Shannon and Kelly than keep everything about them hidden away."

"There's some things wives expect us to know that we never will, and some things we really shouldn't have to be told," Bill commiserated gently, drawing on nearly thirty years of being married as his experience for giving advice. "But assuming either person in a couple knows everything about the other is a mistake."

Gibbs stared at his hands. "I don't know how to fix this Bill."

Bill kept his gaze steady. "You can't. It's as simple as that but not simple at all. Just let Jenny know she is not alone, that she will always have your love. That's where you have to start." He laid a hand on Gibbs' shoulder. "And know you're not alone either Gunny."

Gibbs swallowed. "Thanks Bill."

"Anytime Jethro. Call me if you need anything at all. You are always welcome at our home."

The expression on Gibbs' face said everything that needed to be said.

The two men parted company soon after, it was time for work and life didn't stop just because there was a crisis. As soon as Gibbs left though, Bill picked up his phone to call his wife. If there was ever a time they needed to pray for their friends, it was now.

**NCIS**

The whole team, including Abby, were waiting at their desks, with Abby sitting at Gibbs', when he walked in with his cup of coffee that morning. Abby jumped up and tacked him with a hug, needing the reassurance that everything was going to be okay. The dead giveaway that something was really wrong and that maybe it wouldn't be okay, was when Gibbs leaned into the hug and held Abby a little longer than he normally would.

Abby felt the difference in his touch and stepped back, wide-eyed, her hand instinctively seeking McGee's, needing the support. Tim was already standing, as were Tony and Ziva, and he slipped his fingers between hers.

Tony took a deep breath and asked the question they were all thinking. "Boss," he asked, "how's Jenny?"

Gibbs set his coffee down, carefully avoiding all their eyes. "Not coming in today."

The team took a moment to absorb the news. It had been almost two months since the last time that had happened. Ziva glanced at her partner before speaking.

"Is everything alright Gibbs?"

Gibbs couldn't bring himself to talk about what was going on, not again. It was still too fresh, the memories from yesterday too strong, and he was worn out from sharing with Bill, his mind heavy with all the thoughts his friend had planted there.

He shook his head slowly. "Not now."

"But Gibbs..." Abby began, stopping when he held up his hand.

"We care about Jenny too Boss," Tony added.

A shrill ring interrupted the thick silence in the bullpen, and Gibbs had never been so thankful for phones. Grabbing it, he answered gruffly.

"Yeah, Gibbs." He listened for a moment, then hung up. "Dead Corpsman at the Naval Academy. Grab your gear." His gaze landed on Abby. "Back to the lab Abs."

McGee squeezed her fingers and let go, promising to come and see her later without saying a word. Tony and Ziva grabbed their packs and all three rushed to get in the elevator before the doors slid closed. Looked like Gibbs' answer would have to wait.

**NCIS**

Jenny woke up slowly from the two hour nap she'd taken on the couch in her study. She rubbed bleary eyes, trying to remember why she was not in her nice warm bed with her nice warm husband. As soon as she moved, her stomach rolled and Jenny barely made it to garbage can by her desk before she lost the little food that was still in her stomach from yesterday.

Leaning over the black plastic bin, the answer she'd been looking for earlier struck her clearly. She and Jethro weren't speaking right now, because they couldn't do it without arguing. When her stomach finished heaving, Jenny wiped her mouth with a kleenex and leaned back against her desk, feeling awful. She wished Gibbs was here now, to be a comfort. But she'd pushed him away, unable to deal with the fact that he already cared too much for the child in her womb. Jenny couldn't stop remembering how it had gotten there.

After several minutes, Jenny stood shakily and steadied herself against the solid wood desk. Two hours of sleep did not in any way begin to make up for a royally stressful day and a really bad night. Maybe a shower would be nice, at least it would get rid of the icky feeling that came with being sick.

If only this problem were solved as easily as a simple cold or the flu. But her reason for throwing up would either make an appearance in less than seven months or would end abruptly and cease to be a reminder of what she'd gone through. But Jenny was loathe to make that kind of decision without a whole lot more information from both sides.

She made her way upstairs slowly, hoping to avoid a repeat of her earlier sickness. Turning on the water, Jenny let the spray get nice and hot before shedding her pyjamas and stepping under the soothing water. She took her time in the shower, washing her hair and getting clean, but the end result left her more tired than when she'd started, and Jenny looked longingly at her bed, seriously considering another nap.

As the steam on the mirror gradually cleared, Jenny found the reflection staring back at her to be disconcerting. Dark circles were rimmed underneath her eyes, the spidery red veins in her eyes stood out alarmingly against the stark whitness of her eyeballs. Her skin was pale, the flush from her hot shower faded already. The expression in her eyes revealed her vulnerability, and the fear that had taken root deep inside. Jenny didn't know what to say to the woman in the mirror.

Looking down at her body covered in a soft yellow towel, Jenny's gaze was drawn to her midsection, and in one swift movement she dropped the towel, pressing her fingers lightly to her abdomen. Somewhere deep inside her body, changes were already happening because of the life she carried.

Images flooded her mind briefly, taking her back four weeks to the first time she'd been with her husband for real after her kidnapping. She didn't know much about pregnancy tests, but surely it was possible for a test to pick up a pregnancy that was only four weeks old, wasn't it?

With this new idea mulling around that there was a possibility that the baby could be her husband's, Jenny felt relief mixed in with the fear. Whatever she decided, she couldn't do anything until she knew for sure. Wrapping the towel around herself again, Jenny strode quickly into her bedroom and grabbed her phone off the bedside table.

She waited impatiently through four rings before the receptionist answered and her call was connected.

"Dr. Marriott," came the focused, professional voice.

"Sarah, it's Jenny."

Dr. Marriott took a breath. "Jenny. Hello. How are you?"

By-passing the pleasantries, Jenny went right to the reason for her call. "I want a paternity test. If there is even a chance this baby could be Jethro's, I need to know."

"I understand Jenny," Sarah said slowly. She paused. "There is a test we can do for pre-natal paternity testing. It's called CVS - Chorionic Villus Sampling. My only concern is that you might not be far enough along. But we can give it a shot."

"I'm open to anything," Jenny said firmly. "I just...I can't even think about anything until I know for sure." She sighed. "When can we do it?" _The sooner, the better_, she thought hopefully.

Jenny heard the doctor flipping pages in her datebook. "I can fit you and Jethro in tomorrow morning at 7 am."

"That's fine, thank you Sarah." Jenny was relieved to have it taken care of so quickly.

"Bye Jenny."

Setting the phone down, Jenny realized how drained just making a simple decision had left her. Unable to resist the pull of her bed any longer, she quickly slipped on the first thing she found to wear, then frowned, wondering if it would help or hurt anything to sleep in her husband's t-shirt. Shrugging, Jenny slid under the covers, too tired to care. She had far too much to think about and not enough energy left to think.

However, when she woke up, there was only one thing she wanted to do. Jenny fell asleep, hoping beyond hope that the one person she needed right now would be available as soon as she was coherent. It had only been a day but she was already tired of fighting this battle alone.


	4. Chapter 4

When Jenny opened her eyes for the second time that day, she was shocked to see that her nap had turned into a five hour sleep. Regardless, she at least felt better, if not rested. Reaching for her cellphone, Jenny paused when the movement upset her currently delicate stomach. She closed her eyes as the wave of nausea washed over her, refusing to move a muscle until it receded.

Letting out a breath, she moved much slower this time and once she was settled again, flipped the phone open and pressed speed dial number three, putting it to her ear.

"Hey Jen!" a familiar, cheerful voice answered. "Looking for lunch plans?"

Jenny frowned. "Rachel, you work forty minutes away from NCIS. Lunch would be impossible."

Rachel laughed. "On a normal day I would agree with you, but I only worked a half day today."

"How come?" Jenny questioned. Rachel was fully trained now and for the most part, really enjoyed her job at the Naval Academy. She rarely skipped half of her work day.

Rachel's tone sobered. "One of our students was found dead this morning. NCIS is there now. I caught a glimpse of Jethro before I left, but didn't want to bother him." She shrugged. "They closed down the office except for necessary personnel, so most of the reception staff went home." Rachel paused, her smile slowly coming back. "So, do you want company or not?"

"Yes," Jenny sighed. "But I'm home, not at work."

Rachel was instantly on alert. "What's wrong?" Jenny had made wonderful progress in the last month and a half, but she was still in the working through everything stage, and Rachel knew anything could happen.

"Not on the phone Rach," Jenny's voice was suddenly heavy. "Can you come?"

"Twenty minutes Jen," Rachel promised. "I'll be there."

"Thank you," Jenny whispered, fighting tears.

"Oh Jen," Rachel blinked hard. "I'll always come."

**NCIS**

Nineteen minutes after she'd hung up with Jenny, Rachel let herself in using the key she'd been given for emergencies and disarmed the alarm.

"Jen?" she called, slipping off her shoes and listening.

"Upstairs," a faint voice called.

Taking the steps two at a time, Rachel entered her friend's room to find Jenny curled up in bed.

"Hey," she smiled.

"Hi," Jenny said weakly, no joy present behind her eyes.

Rachel leaned against the doorframe and crossed her arms. "Is this going to be a serious conversation?"

Jenny bit her lip. "I'm afraid so."

"Okay," Rachel whirled around, heading for the spare room, "then we need stuffed animals." Jenny had to smile for real then. Rachel just being herself was already cheering her up. "Who's your favourite?" Rachel's voice called across the hall.

Jenny thought about it. "Carebear," she decided, finding it amusing that her best friend knew the names of the stuffed animals she collected as memories of moments.

"Got him!" Rachel announced triumphantly, holding up the black sequined bear that had been a gift from Abby.

"Who'd you pick?" Jenny asked, curious.

Rachel grinned, cuddling the bear Jasper Shepard had given his daughter for her Gr. 8 graduation. "Grady. He's just the right size of a hug."

"That's what I thought too, when Dad gave him to me," Jenny remembered, reaching out to stroke the bear's soft fur.

Sighing, she pulled herself into a sitting position and Rachel settled cross-legged on Gibbs' side of the bed, watching Jenny closely. It was what they always did when having conversations in college - about a crappy day in class, the cute new boy they spotted in the cafeteria, making plans for the weekend - curled up on a bed together with their arms wrapped around a couple of Jenny's teddy bears. It seemed right to do now, somehow.

"So," Rachel said finally, after Jenny had avoided her eyes for two whole minutes, "are you going to tell me?"

Jenny's eyes found the words on Carebear's front and she traced them with one finger. "I hate saying it out loud," she said slowly. "That makes it too real, just like admitting that I was raped."

Rachel frowned. "Geez Jenny, you're scaring me here. What's going on?"

Jenny looked up and met Rachel's eyes, tears pooling in hers. "I'm pregnant Rach," she said brokenly, the tears spilling down her cheeks.

Rachel's heart broke. _Not that. Please Father, not that_. Because she understood right away that this news was not good, that it was connected to the nightmare Jenny had spent the last two months trying to escape. "Oh Jen," the words fell painfully from her lips. She scooted closer and wrapped her arms around her friend. "I'm so sorry hun."

Jenny cried into Rachel's shoulder, needing the release but hating that she had to relinquish control in order to get it. Rachel rocked her slowly, as if she was a small child, and Jenny grasped at the comfort. They sat that way for a long time, neither saying a word, until Jenny's tears faded away. When she finally pulled herself together and sat up, Rachel was looking at her with a gaze that seemed to see right through her.

"Does Jethro know?" she asked softly.

"He knows," Jenny replied bitterly, "and he thinks it's his decision to make."

Rachel's forehead wrinkled, not understanding. "What decision?"

Jenny knew her friend's opinions well and had listened to many rants on various subjects that Rachel was passionate about in their years as roommates. She couldn't meet Rachel's eyes.

"Whether I keep it or not." Her voice grew even quieter. "Whether I stay pregnant or not."

At that statement, Rachel's eyes widened and her mouth fell open. She drew in her breath as if to speak, then suddenly closed both her mouth and eyes and sat silently for a moment. Her reaction puzzled Jenny, and she was more than a little surprised when Rachel looked back at her, compassion flooding her expression.

"I can't imagine what you must be going through," she said softly.

Jenny's eyebrows shot up. "Okay, who are you and what have you done with my stubborn, opinionated, I'm-sure-I'm-right best friend?"

Instead of smiling, Rachel bit her lip. "She grew up."

Completely baffled now, Jenny reached out and put her hand on Rachel's knee, wondering exactly what else she'd missed in the last ten years.

"What does that mean Rach?" she asked gently.

Rachel's eyes met Jenny's. "It means that I've learned some tough lessons over the years, about when to speak and when to stay silent." She bit her lip. "You've known me a long time Jen, you know that I will always believe in the depths of my heart that abortion is wrong. But," she paused to take a breath. "I have also never been married, raped, and pregnant. So who am I to judge?"

Jenny closed her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered.

Rachel smiled. "You need a friend today Jen, not a lecture." She smoothed the collar on Grady's black graduation robe. "Are you and Jethro speaking?"

Jenny shook her head. "Not really. We can't, because we just argue about...about the baby. We're both too stubborn and stuck in our ways to change when we think we're right."

"How are you doing to decide what to do?" Rachel tried to be understanding, biting back everything she wished she could say. It wasn't her choice to make either.

Jenny rubbed her forehead. "I don't know. Do some research, I guess. I've never had to think about it before. I keep hoping the right answer will just jump out at me." She smiled wanly. "But I'm getting a paternity test done tomorrow morning."

Rachel looked confused so Jenny explained. "There is the smallest chance that the baby might be Jethro's, and I just have to know for sure first."

"That's a good idea," Rachel nodded, grasping at the hope that came. "How's Jethro feel about it?"

Jenny looked away. "I guess I'll find out when I tell him tonight."

"Oh," Rachel chuckled, "I see." She rolled her shoulders. "We need to do something fun," she decided. "It's too depressing in here. Let's watch a movie. Do you have _Hitch_?"

It was clearly Rachel's new mission to make her laugh. "Downstairs Rach."

"Great." Rachel jumped up and grabbed Jenny's hand to pull her off the bed. "You need a reason to be happy my friend."

Jenny's smile widened. "I know better than to argue. Thanks Rach."

Rachel looked over her shoulder as she skipped out of the room. "Anytime Jen." She eyed Jenny's pyjama's and laughed. "But you might want to put pants on first."

Jenny looked down at her bare legs, Gibbs' t-shirt only covering her to mid-thigh, and glanced up at her friend. "Oops." She dragged a pair of pyjama pants on quickly and linked arms with Rachel. "Let's go find some happiness."

Rachel grinned at Jenny's use of her old saying, and nodded enthusiastically. "Let's."

**NCIS**

The phone rang an hour into the movie and Jenny paused the DVD, groaning as she snatched another piece of popcorn from the bowl Rachel was holding.

"Jenny Gibbs," she answered on the third ring.

"Jenny? It's Dr. Kristyn Renway calling. How are you?"

All the light-heartedness Jenny had been feeling with Rachel around drained away as if through a sieve.

"Fine," she answered tightly. Jenny could almost hear Kristyn's eyebrows rise.

"You missed your appointment yesterday," the doctor reminded her patient.

Jenny scraped one hand through her hair. "Yes, well, something came up and even Directors are entitled to a personal day."

"Is there anything I need to know about Jenny?" Kristyn asked, concern lacing her words. Jenny hadn't acted this hostile in quite some time. It was unsettling.

Biting her lip, Jenny shook her head. "Nothing that won't keep." She sighed, weariness overtaking her. "I'll be in tomorrow. I'll call you then to reschedule. Cynthia has my calendar."

"Alright then. But I want to hear from you first thing Jenny. This isn't like you."

Jenny muttered something Kristyn couldn't hear. "Thank you for calling. Goodbye Dr. Renway."

Rachel looked up from the book she was reading when Jenny plopped back onto the couch. She arched one eyebrow at her friend.

"Whoa, someone looks like a thundercloud. Who was that on the phone?"

Jenny sighed and curled up with one of the sofa pillows. "My shrink."

Rachel frowned. "She calls you at home?"

Jenny twirled a piece of hair around her finger and looked towards the window. "I might have sort of...skipped my therapy appointment after I got the news yesterday."

Rachel laughed. "Playing hooky Jen?"

"Yes," Jenny said defiantly. "I'm tired of always playing by the rules."

"Let me guess," Rachel smiled ruefully. "The good doctor isn't about to let you off the hook that easily."

"Bingo," Jenny sighed, biting her lip. She closed her eyes and dropped her head into her hands. "I'm going to have so many phone calls to return and so much explaining to do tomorrow. The Director of NCIS can't just go AWOL for an entire day and a half without consequences."

Rachel rubbed Jenny's back soothingly. "Don't think about that now Jen. You're stuck with me for the rest of the day. It'll be girlfriend therapy, so much more fun than the regular kind."

Jenny eyed her best friend suspiciously. "Should I be concerned? What are you up to?"

"Who, me?" Rachel asked innocently, pointing to herself. "Nothing at all." She rolled her eyes at Jenny's look. "Relax Jen. We're just going to have some harmless fun."

Jenny shook her head. "With you Rach, fun is not usually harmless."

"Movie first," Rachel grinned, grabbing the remote. "I still need my Will Smith fix."

Jenny smiled and leaned back against the couch cushions. Girlfriend therapy indeed. It didn't change anything from the last day and a half, but it was the first thing that had made her feel better since yesterday morning. And Jenny was determined to enjoy it.

**NCIS**

Gibbs purposely stayed late at work that night, not knowing what to expect when he got home, and not really wanting to face his wife after last night. Even after his talk with Bill that morning, Gibbs still didn't know what to say to Jenny when he saw her. Maybe he just needed to start with the only truth he could hold onto right now, the one thing that wouldn't change, and probably the thing she needed most to hear - I love you.

Understandably, the team had been glad to escape when he finally dismissed them an hour ago. He'd been more gruff with them than usual and Gibbs knew his behaviour today had only raised more speculation. They knew something was up and even with his refusal to talk about the situation with Jenny, the team had probably figured out that whatever was going on was something big and definitely not something good.

It was after ten o'clock when Gibbs finally switched off his desk lamp and turned his feet towards the elevator. He shouldn't've been surprised at the familiar car parked on the street in front of Jenny's house when he arrived, and Gibbs was actually glad that even if she wasn't talking to him, at least Jenny was talking to someone.

Rachel was just leaving as he walked up the path. "Jethro," she said quietly. She bit her lip and laid a comforting hand on his arm. But there wasn't anything left that she could say, so Rachel just smiled at him and headed for her car.

Swallowing, Gibbs clutched his keys a little tighter and let himself in. Jenny was in the kitchen cleaning up from whatever she and Rachel had been doing. Gibbs stopped in the doorway.

"Hey Jen," he said uncertainly.

Jenny wiped her hands on a towel and turned to face him. "Hi."

The awkwardness between them made it difficult for Gibbs to form words. "How was your day?"

The smile barely touched her lips. "It was nice to see Rachel."

"Was she here long?"

Jenny nodded. "Most of the day."

Gibbs sighed, the decided to fall back on a little used husband tool. When in doubt, apologize. This conversation was not going anywhere fast. "Jen, about last night," he began, but Jenny cut him off with her raised hand.

"I made an appointment for a paternity test tomorrow morning at 0700."

Gibbs' eyebrows rose. "A paternity test?"

Jenny looked down. "The pregnancy test only confirmed what Dr. Marriott told me. It didn't say how far along I was." She shrugged. "If there's even a chance this baby is yours..." Jenny watched Gibbs' eyes light up and hated that it was likely false hope she was giving him. "I have to know Jethro, before I can make a decision about what to do."

"Do I get a choice in this?" Gibbs asked heavily, the weight of everything crashing down on him.

She shook her head. "No. I'm sorry."

If the results were what Gibbs expected them to be, he didn't want to think about what would happen, about what Jenny would do then. He kept quiet though, knowing there was really nothing more to be said. Jenny had made up her mind, and no one and nothing was going to change it.

At last he nodded, accepting the reality for now. "Ready for bed?"

Jenny seemed surprised that he didn't try to fight her decision, but she moved forward and flicked off the light. "Yes."

They walked to the stairs together and Gibbs slipped his hand into hers. Jenny looked at him, but said nothing. At least he was here. For now that was enough. As for the rest, only time would tell.


	5. Chapter 5

Gibbs woke the next morning to the sound of Jenny retching in the bathroom. Before his eyes even opened, he was drawn back in time, to a memory from twenty-five years ago. Then it had been Shannon kneeling in the bathroom, emptying her stomach, and despite the morning sickness, they had been so happy to find out she was pregnant. Gibbs dragged a hand down his face. Now, hearing Jenny being sick was just another reminder of what had happened, and how uncertain the future was.

Stifling a sigh, he pulled himself out of bed and made his way to the bathroom. Sinking down beside Jenny, Gibbs took over the job of holding her hair back from her face as he gently rubbed little circles between her shoulder blades. Even if it was their child that was causing this, he would still hate to watch her go through it. No husband liked to watch his wife suffer that way, even if the end result would be worth everything they'd gone through to get there.

When she was done, Jenny flushed the toilet and sat back, feeling exhausted already and the day had only begun. Gibbs left the floor but came back a minute later with a wet cloth and a glass of water. Unsure what to do with his kindness when they still weren't talking, Jenny lifted her eyes to his, trying to convey her thanks. In a way, she was glad he was here, the she didn't have to do this on her own, even if she was still uncertain about her decision.

After several minutes Gibbs pressed a kiss to his wife's hair and helped her stand. "Take a shower Jen," he suggested. "It'll help."

She nodded slowly and waited until he left the room before she got undressed and stood gratefully under the hot spray, letting it wash away yesterday and last night, giving her a chance to take a breath and get ready for whatever today would hold. Jenny knew that this day would be a hard one, no matter what. Between dealing with her regular Director duties and Kristyn, there was also Gibbs' team, and they were going to want to know what was going on.

It had been a month since they'd been left out of the loop this way, but she knew without asking that neither she nor her husband were ready to share this situation, not yet at least, not until something changed or something was decided. No, for now they would have to keep it to themselves, while those who knew them best struggled with how to help and what to do.

When Jenny could stall in the shower no longer, so got out and wrapped a towel around herself, using another on her long hair as it dripped all over the tile floor. She got out her blow-dryer and brush and worked on her wet hair until it was silky smooth and nearly dry. Then, finally, Jenny made her way back to their bedroom again. Waiting on her dresser was a cup of tea and a plate with a piece of lightly buttered toast.

She looked around but her husband was not to be seen. Jenny had to blink back tears at the gesture. Jethro was trying to make peace, trying to help. What was she doing? What could she do? She took a small bite of the toast and a sip of the tea, not sure what her stomach would tolerate.

It was like right after her kidnapping all over again. She didn't want to eat because she didn't want to be sick. But this time, Jenny knew she was going to be sick whether she ate or not, and that there was probably nothing that would help. And this right on the heels of her finally starting to eat regular meals over the last month. It seemed like she wasn't going to win at whatever game this was.

At last, dressed and ready to face the day, or at least trying to be, Jenny went downstairs and found Gibbs in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and slowly drinking his second cup of coffee. She smiled and stood in the doorway. He looked over at her, trying to gauge her mood, wishing he could read her thoughts.

"Thank you," she said softly.

Gibbs knew what she was referring to without having to ask. "Least I could do," he offered.

They were being very careful of each other. Nearly nine months of marriage and they'd only had a handful of really bad fights, but a lot of silent nights when things weren't going right. And neither of them liked to fight, or disagree, so it was easier just to be polite and wait to see how things would turn out.

Jenny glanced at the clock. "Are you ready?"

He nodded, but Gibbs wasn't sure he was ready at all. Their doctor's appointment this morning was just one step closer to Jenny confirming what they strongly suspected, and after that would come her decision. He hadn't slept very well last night thinking about it.

Everything Bill had suggested made perfect sense and sounded really good until he tried to live it. Then Gibbs found that it wasn't so easy after all. He kept trying to imagine how things would change if Jenny got an abortion. Would they still be the same? Would their love return to normal as if nothing had happened?

Or would there always be that rift between them, the memory of everything they didn't agree on? Gibbs' heart was sore just thinking of the implications. Nothing could make him stop loving Jenny, of that he was certain. But perhaps, if she went through with it, nothing about them would ever be the same again.

**NCIS**

Both Gibbs and Jenny were quiet on the drive to the doctor's office, lost in their separate thoughts. They arrived just in time for their appointment, and the nurse, Tammy, showed them to Exam Room One. A few minutes later Dr. Marriott appeared, carrying Jenny's patient folder and wearing a sympathetic expression on her face.

"Good morning Jenny, Mr. Gibbs," Sarah smiled. Gibbs and Jenny both nodded. "I promise to make this as quick and painless as possible." She set down the medical chart, pulled on a pair of gloves, and got out everything needed to draw blood. "Just a small sample from each of you should be enough. That's Step One."

Dr. Marriott kept up a running commentary of her actions, not expecting the couple to be in the mood for conversation. "Let's start with you Mr. Gibbs," Sarah said, eying the two of them and going with the easiest first.

Gibbs actually liked Jenny's doctor fairly well and decided to cooperate more than usual. "Jethro," he told her, rolling up his sleeve before she asked.

Sarah smiled. "Jethro." She deftly tied the rubber band around Gibbs' bicep and slid the needle into a vein, collecting the blood quickly and efficiently. A minute later the needle was removed and he was holding a cotton ball over the small hole in his skin.

Turning to Jenny, Dr. Marriott noticed the glare. She frowned. "Can't you just be agreeable like your husband?"

Jenny resisted the urge to cross her arms and pout. "I don't like needles Sarah."

Her doctor raised one eyebrow. "Yes, I'm fully aware. We go through this every time." She turned away to grab fresh supplies. "If you think this is bad you're going to like the other one even less," Dr. Marriott muttered under her breath.

Gibbs reached for one of Jenny's hands, uncurling her fingers and drawing circles on her palm, wanting to give her something else to focus on. "Close your eyes Jenny," he said in a low voice. "Talk to me. You won't even notice."

"I will," she argued, even as she closed her eyes and turned her head into his shoulder.

Chuckling, Gibbs kissed her temple. "Maybe, but not as much. Tell me what you and Rachel did yesterday."

Anything to get her mind off of the small, sharp piece of steel about to pierce her skin. Jenny nodded, trying to breath normally. Gibbs babied her when she was getting a needle and he was with her, but it was one of the only things that truly bothered her. Maybe she had a bad experience as a child or maybe she'd seen too many people die of drug overdoses. Either way, she just couldn't do needles calmly no matter how hard she tried.

"We umm...watched a movie," Jenny began, trying to count the circles her husband was tracing into her palm. "And umm..." she shut her eyes tighter when Sarah tied the rubber band tightly around her arm, "then Rachel wanted to go outside and have a snowball fight but I didn't have enough energy." Jenny sucked in her breath sharply when Dr. Marriott slid the needle into the first vein she found.

"So what did you do instead?" Gibbs prompted, trying to take her mind off the discomfort.

"Oh, right. Umm...," she smiled, "we made snow angels, in the backyard."

"Hot chocolate after?" her husband asked.

He knew her so well, Jenny mused, wishing this was just a normal trip to the doctor's office and that when they left everything would be fine, back to normal between them.

"Mmhmm..." she agreed, pushing the other thoughts away. "But Rachel wanted mini marshmallows and I had to practically tear the kitchen apart before I could find where I stashed them."

"Ice cream?" Gibbs wondered, knowing that two women in the same house together, especially on a bad day, usually equaled chocolate and cold treats.

Jenny frowned, opening her eyes to look at him. "Were you spying on us Jethro?"

"No," he grinned. "But this isn't the first time I've seen/heard stories about what you and Rachel do together."

"Okay," she huffed, assuming that was the truth. "It was chocolate chip cookie dough," she offered finally.

"All done," Sarah announced with a smile, then turned to Gibbs. "You have no idea how much easier it is to deal with her when you're sitting here."

Jenny sat up, trying not to give her doctor a dirty look for telling on her. Gibbs squeezed her hand gently and then let go, assuming what was coming next and not sure what Jenny would want or need from him, if anything.

Dr. Marriott looked back and forth between the two of them. "That was the easy part I'm afraid," she said gently. "For Step Two I need you to take your skirt off Jenny and lay down on the table." She handed her patient one of the paper dresses and cocked her head in Gibbs' direction. "Should he...?"

Jenny bit her lip and met her husband's eyes. Somehow she knew that he would do whatever she wanted, and she would have his cooperation either way. She shook her head at Sarah. No matter what came next, she wanted, needed Gibbs there. But she wished it didn't feel like too much to ask, given the situation.

"I want him to stay," she said and when Gibbs read the hesitation in her eyes he took her hand again.

"I'll be right here Jen, I promise."

She nodded, and Dr. Marriott left to get what she needed for the procedure. Gibbs averted his eyes and Jenny was thankful, for some reason she was uncomfortable under his gaze again. Once she was laying down with her feet in the stirrups in anticipation of what Sarah would have to do, Gibbs scooted his chair to beside the table and laced his fingers between hers.

"I love you Jenny," he whispered, just before Dr. Marriott returned with her nurse, Tracy, who would assist.

Sarah flipped the ultrasound machine in the corner on, while Tracy got out the gel used for the ultrasound wand, called a transducer. The doctor smiled at Jenny.

"Okay, so this part is going to be a bit uncomfortable Jenny, but try to hold still. For the CVS we're going to use a needle to get a sample of the chorionic villi in your uterus." At her patient's confused look, Sarah explained. "Chorionic villi are little pieces of tissue attached to the wall of your uterus. They come from the same egg as your baby and have the same genetics. We will use that sample to confirm paternity."

Jenny nodded and closed her eyes, focusing on her breathing and Gibbs' hand on hers while the procedure was being performed. Gibbs chose not to watch what the doctor and nurse were doing, some things he didn't want to know. Instead he studied his wife, seeing the tightness around her mouth while she endured the discomfort, feeling how her grip tightened with whatever they were doing. He ran his hand lightly down her hair and traced her rings with one fingertip, thinking. No matter what the results said, after today things were going to change.

**NCIS**

An hour later, back at NCIS, Director Shepard was going through her messages and returning as many as she could. Partway through the stack she came to the one from Dr. Renway and frowned. Checking her watch, Jenny tried to decide if 0930 could still be considered first thing. She bit her lip and sighed, summoning Cynthia at the same time she dialed her therapist's extension.

"Dr. Renway's office," Heidi, the receptionist, answered.

"This is Director Shepard. Is Dr. Renway available?"

Heidi smiled. "Yes she is Ma'am. She's been waiting for your call. I'll put you through."

Cynthia entered the room, carrying Jenny's day planner as she always did. Jenny tried to smile, rubbed her forehead, and waited for the doctor to pick up.

"Jenny?" Kristyn's voice carried a relieved note. "Into work a little late today?"

"Something like that," Jenny fudged, knowing the reason for her tardiness would be revealed at her session. "I'm just returning your call."

Kristyn smiled, relaxing. "I'd like to reschedule your Monday session for as soon as possible. When are you available?"

"Just a moment please." Jenny covered the mouthpiece. "Cynthia, how are my afternoons this week?"

Her assistant flipped the pages in Jenny's day planner. "Thursday you're scheduled to run an op in MTAC, that will take at least three hours. But Friday looks clear."

"Kristyn?" Jenny put the phone back to her ear. "Does Friday work for you?"

Dr. Renway looked at the appointments she had booked. "I was hoping not to wait that long." She picked up a note Heidi had left on her desk. "Actually, I had a cancellation for this afternoon. Do you have the time?"

_This afternoon?_ Jenny's eyebrows rose. That didn't give her a lot of time to prepare herself for going to the session, or to figure out what on earth she was going to tell the psychologist. "Let me check," she said finally. "Cynthia, what is my schedule like for today?"

Cynthia tapped her pen against the page. "I kept this morning open so you could catch up from the last two days," she explained. "You have a lunch appointment at 12:30 and a meeting at 2 pm."

Jenny nodded. "Alright." Turning her attention back to her phone call, she repeated the time. "Does four o'clock work for you Kristyn?"

"That would be wonderful, thank you for being so flexible Jenny." She jotted the information on her schedule. "Great, so I'll see you this afternoon."

"Yes, this afternoon." Jenny hung up the phone and sighed while Cynthia added the appointment to Jenny's day and then quietly left the room.

When the door shut behind her assistant, Jenny closed her eyes and rested her face in her hands. This day had been strange so far, and as much as she respected her therapist, Director Shepard was not looking forward to her four o'clock appointment. She was tired of talking and she needed more time to think.


	6. Chapter 6

Abby turned around when Gibbs walked into her lab carrying his usual coffee and her usual Caf-Pow.

"What ya got for me Abs?"

She took a sip of her favourite drink, then set it down and looked at him carefully. "Questions."

Gibbs frowned. "What?"

Abby crossed her arms. "I have questions about what's going on with you and...Jenny."

He slid one hand down his face, hoping she'd let it go. "Not now Abby."

Her eyebrows rose. "Not now? That's what you said yesterday. So tell me Gibbs, when will 'now' be good enough? When are you going to tell us what's going on?"

Gibbs understood her reaction. More than anyone else on the team, Abby was the one most adamant about them being family. But family needed to know when not to ask too. Abby didn't know it, but now was one of those times. His look shifted into a glare.

"Enough Abby. You'll know when you need to. Now, tell me what you have."

Abby's expression became uncertain and then she turned around, clicking the mouse on the screen. Her demeanor changed to icy, much the way it had the day she thought he forgot her birthday. "Of course Agent Gibbs," she replied in clipped words. "The case is what's important."

Gibbs sighed. Frustrated that she was upset but he couldn't help it, and he didn't have the energy to deal with Abby's moods today. For now they'd all have to deal with being in the dark.

**NCIS**

Jenny's afternoon meeting took longer than she'd expected and she only just sat down at her desk to breathe for a moment when Cynthia tapped at the door and stepped in.

"Director? I wanted to remind you about your four o'clock appointment."

Jenny's eyes darted to the clock. _So soon?_ Sure enough, she had less than ten minutes. Smiling stiffly, Jenny nodded at her assistant. "Thank you Cynthia, I'll be ready in a minute."

Cynthia left and Jenny started moving around her office, collecting the things she needed for her hour with Kristyn. Only a few minutes later she was in the elevator and on her way down to the third floor. She arrived at the doctor's office and took a deep breath before walking in.

Heidi smiled in recognition. "Good afternoon Director Shepard. Dr. Renway is expecting you. Please go in."

Out of habit Jenny knocked and Kristyn's voice called for her to enter. She did, nervous now, feeling a bit like a child being sent to the principal's office. Kristyn smiled and gestured to the couch.

"Have a seat Jenny." She sat down in her favourite, unusually shaped chair as Jenny settled gingerly on the middle cushion. The doctor regarded her for a minute and then began. "Can you tell me now why you missed your appointment on Monday?"

_So much for small talk_, Jenny thought.

She shrugged and her gaze dropped to her fingernails. Kristyn raised an eyebrow at the regression. It had taken them a lot of work but as of a couple weeks ago her patient had been able to keep eye contact even during tough or embarrassing topics of conversation. Something drastic must've happened to set her back.

Dr. Renway frowned as the silence persisted, and quickly checked her notes from their last session together. A light went on.

"Jenny," she asked slowly, "did you get the results of your blood test back?" Kristyn had been waiting to hear what the doctor had found, if anything, because she and Dr. Marriott were both looking for something that would explain Jenny's not eating and occasionally being sick for seemingly no reason.

She watched Jenny's head, saw her nod slightly. Her fingers tightened on the pen she was holding, wondering if there was bad news. "Can you tell me?" the psychologist asked.

Jenny looked up, meeting her therapist's eyes before her gaze quickly flickered away. She wet her lips. "I'm..." she swallowed and then sighed, finally making and keeping the eye contact. "I'm pregnant Kristyn."

Dr. Renway's eyes widened before realization crept over her. "And you got the call on Monday."

The redhead nodded. "I left and went straight to buy a pregnancy test in case Sarah was wrong." She twirled a lock of hair around her finger absently. "She wasn't. So I sat at home in shock until Jethro..." Jenny shook the memory away. "Anyways, that's why I missed my session."

It hadn't escaped Kristyn's notice that Jenny had avoided mentioning her husband, but they could come back to that later. "I gather that the news came as a surprise?" she asked. The answer was painfully obvious but in her line of work, the doctor had learned never to assume anything.

Jenny frowned. "Out of everything I'd ever thought might possibly be wrong, I never...that was the last..." she paused to take a breath. "I didn't know what to say."

"And yesterday?" Kristyn asked, remembering how she'd called Jenny at home because she hadn't heard from her.

Crossing her legs, Jenny sat back on the couch and folded her arms. "Didn't feel like going to work."

"It's not like you to skip days," the doctor reminded her. This was the same woman who came back to work on Monday after being rescued from a kidnappping on Saturday.

"After the amount of sleep I didn't get and then a lovely introduction to morning sickness, a nap sounded more appealing than sitting at my desk all day."

The snippiness in Jenny's voice didn't surprise her therapist. They'd covered ground like this before. It was a fair reaction. And as far as Kristyn was concerned, it was a huge improvement over 'fine'.

"Alright," Dr. Renway said, steering the conversation back to today for a moment. "It's been two days, how are you feeling about the news now?"

Leaning forward, Jenny dropped her head into her hands. "I don't know. I hate it, I guess." She looked up. "Life was just starting to get back to normal Kristyn. Jethro and I...everything was finally more like it's supposed to be. And then Sarah drops this bomb? I'm just so tired of dealing with everything."

"Keep going," Kristyn encouraged, knowing Jenny probably just needed to vent, and then they could talk about things a little more calmly.

"I've barely had time to think," Jenny continued as if she hadn't stopped. "I only just got the news and then my husband is throwing his two cents in. So we had a fight. Tuesday I slept and Rachel came over. This morning was our appointment to have a paternity test done, and then my normal Director stuff. I don't know enough to know what to think about...this," she gestured to her abdomen.

Dr. Renway smiled wryly. "Well, I can see we aren't going to have a problem finding something to talk about today." Jenny resisted the urge to roll her eyes and Kristyn checked the notes she'd jotted while her patient had been talking. She took a breath before beginning.

"Tell me about Jethro's reaction when you gave him the news."

The expression on Jenny's face clearly said, 'Do I have to?', but she squeezed her eyes shut and pinched the bridge of her nose. "He wants me to keep it."

The doctor's eyebrows rose. "May I ask why?" That was not what she would've expected from a husband whose wife had been raped and was now pregnant with said rapist's child.

Debating how much to tell, Jenny decided any information about Shannon and Kelly was not hers to share. "Jethro has a soft spot for children," she said at last. "I think we were both hoping to have our own, at some point." She held her hands out helplessly. "Maybe he thinks this is as close as we'll get."

"That's a lot of pressure," Kristyn noted, trying not to go to one side or the other, though in a way she could understand it from Gibbs' perspective. "Have you talked to anyone else about your situation?"

Jenny shrugged. "Just Rachel."

Kristyn smiled. She'd heard bits and pieces about Rachel Wayne over the last several weeks, this good friend of Jenny's. She seemed like the kind of person one wanted to have around when things weren't going right. "Did that help?" she asked.

Jenny's expression brightened a bit. "It was strange, talking to Rachel. I know her opinions on most topics, so I was prepared for a lecture on how wrong abortion is. I almost got it too, but then she just said everything I needed to hear instead." She shook her head. "I didn't expect that."

"Rachel was a friend when you needed one," Dr. Renway observed, grateful that the other woman had been sympathetic. Jenny nodded. "So would it be safe to guess that the fight you and Mr. Gibbs had was about the pregnancy and your plans?"

"It was about a whole lot of things," Jenny said softly, "a lot of things we didn't know about how the other felt. But he thinks the baby should be a 'we' decision and I think it's mine alone. I couldn't say in the room with him after that."

"Hmm..." Kristyn thought. "And you haven't spoken since?"

Jenny laced her fingers together. "We've been exceedingly polite since our disagreement."

Reading much into what Jenny wasn't saying, the doctor checked her notes again. "Why did you decide to get a paternity test?" she questioned.

"Neither the blood test nor the home pregnancy test said how far along I was. I could be nine weeks pregnant," Jenny swallowed, looking up again, "or I could be four."

Understanding dawned in the doctor's eyes. "You think this could be your husband's baby."

Jenny nodded slowly. "There is the slightest chance. And I can't make a decision until I know for sure."

Kristyn set down her pen and leaned forward. "Jenny, for a minute just forget that there is anyone else your decision will affect. If there was no pressure and no consequences, what would you do about your pregnancy?"

Sighing, Jenny reached for the first and only answer she'd been able to hold onto since she found out. "Honestly?" she said tiredly. "I just want it to go away. I want my life back."

"I thought as much," Kristyn replied softly. She held Jenny's gaze. "So I'm going to tell you something I've learned working in this field and then we'll leave it at that."

Jenny's eyebrows rose in interest. If Dr. Renway had anything helpful to share, she wanted to hear it.

"Jenny, I've seen woman shattered by rape, women broken by abortion, women who struggled after giving a child up for adoption, and women resentful of a child they were forced to keep."

She paused for a moment. "Before you make a decision do your research, keep all your options open. And when you finally choose something, make sure you can live with it, and defend it, if need be. Whatever you do, do what's right for you, because you can't please everyone and someone is always going to think you are wrong. But it's your life, your body, your experience. And please let me know what your decision is, when you make it. I will support you, regardless of what you choose to do."

Jenny's eyes filled with tears as she listened to Kristyn's advice and warning. Rummaging around in her bag, she pulled a piece of paper from her journal. She'd been carrying it around for awhile and now seemed like a good time to share. Plus she desperately needed a change of subject.

"What's this?" her doctor asked when Jenny handed over the paper.

"It's a quote I found, when I was doing some research on rape survivors. Read it," she said.

The quote was an excerpt from the poem Please Hear What I'm Not Saying by Charles C. Finn. _Don't be fooled by the face I wear, for I wear a thousand masks. And none of them are me, don't be fooled...Beneath dwells the real me, in confusion, in aloneness, in fear...And so begins this parade of masks...I tell you even that's really nothing, and nothing of what's everything that's crying deep within me...Who am I you may wonder. I am every man you meet and also every woman that you meet. I am you, also._

Kristyn read the words slowly, focusing on the parts she was fairly certain spoke to her patient. After a minute she looked up. "How does this quote make you feel Jenny?"

"I feel...like I understand," Jenny said slowly. "Because that's me, too."

She was so confused about everything, she didn't know how to feel. Jenny was used to being in control yet this situation afforded her none. Her emotions were all over the place, her thoughts running rampant, and yet she found solace in the writings of someone who felt like no one really saw the real person they were. She wished she could stay in Kristyn's office for much longer than just her one hour session. This situation was taking over her life and it was all too much right now.

"Okay Jenny," Kristyn smiled, seeing the need for respite, for a safe place that sprang into Jenny's eyes. "Let's talk. I'll stay as long as you need me to. You're going to get through this, I promise."

**NCIS**

Jenny didn't leave therapy until nearly six pm that night. She was exhausted, filled with indecision and badly wanting a nap. But that wasn't to be. A phone call from SecNav drew her into MTAC for another hour. By the time she finally left the building, Jenny was all talked out.

She and Gibbs warmed the supper left for them by Noemi when they arrived home, but Jenny only had three bites of her chicken before she was reacquainting herself with the downstairs toilet. Treating her gently once again, Gibbs came after her with a cloth to wipe her mouth and water to rinse the taste away.

After that, neither of them had any appetite left, and watched TV for awhile before finally making their way to bed. They didn't talk much beyond the necessary, there didn't seem to be a point. What else could they say that hadn't already been said? They were just waiting for something to break, for some light to be shone on this murky and volatile situation. It was the wait that was killing them.

Falling asleep on her side of the bed, Jenny found that the feeling of dread that had been creeping over her since the procedure this morning still followed her. Memories were threatening and the last thing she wanted was to go back to the bunker. But whether it could be avoided or not remained to be seen.

**NCIS**

In the middle of the night Jenny woke from a black dream, so black it reminded her of the bunker where faceless voices taunted her and nameless hands violated her body. She sat straight up in bed, gasping, because just before she opened her eyes, Jenny knew the darkness was going to suffocate her.

Gibbs, awake the moment Jenny moved, propped himself up on one elbow and laid a cautious hand on her arm. When she woke from a dream he never knew what her reaction would be. The sound of her jerky, ragged breathing filled the air in their room, scaring him.

"Jen?" he asked.

"Jethro," Jenny gasped, "can't...breathe. I-can't-breathe."

Leaning over behind her, Gibbs' hand searched the flat surface of her bedside table until he found the anchor. He pressed his body close against her side and closed her fingers around the small wooden object.

"Jenny, Jenny you need to calm down. Take a deep breath honey, that's it. Now another one. Good. Slow deep breaths Jen." Gibbs coached her carefully out of the panic attack, having dealt with more than one in the past two months. He'd learned a lot. "You're okay, it was just a dream. You're safe now."

Gibbs said the words over and over into Jenny's ear, while his hand rubbed slow, soothing circles into her back. After several long, tense minutes, Jenny's gasps became sharp, staccato breaths, then slower, heavier breaths before finally evening out into her normal breathing rhythm.

When Jenny could breathe again, she turned to look at her husband, tears streaming down her cheeks. For that moment they forgot that things were rocky and uncertain and that they didn't know what to say to each other right now. Jenny just fell into Gibbs' arms and he relished being able to hold her.

Deep sobs wracked Jenny's body and Gibbs ran his hand down her hair over and over, trying to comfort. There were no words to combat the grief she had to be feeling, nothing wise that he could say to take away the anger and confusion. And on top of everything else, now the dregs of the dream and panic attack hung on Jenny as well.

With her tears soaking his shirt, Gibbs knew without a doubt that he could not fix this, and right now he probably couldn't even try to help. So he slowly lay down instead, keeping his arms securely around his wife. Jenny curled into his side, making her body into a ball. Her sobs faded into sniffles and the tears dried in salty tracks on her face.

Everything about her life was so messed up at the moment, and it would be a long time before anything was back to normal. But tonight all that mattered was that her husband loved her and in his arms she felt safe. Everything else could wait until tomorrow. Jenny closed her eyes and with her face buried in Gibbs' damp shirt, tried to go to sleep.

**NCIS**

When she opened her eyes the next morning, they were in the same position and Jenny raised her gaze to see Gibbs looking at her. He'd been awake for some time already, quietly watching her sleep and remembering what it felt like for them to be this close, for Jenny to trust him while she slept.

He'd sighed earlier when he thought about how far they'd come in two months. Monday, and the following two days, had been a huge step back. They'd had one month of normal before Jenny's nightmare had intruded again. For that, Gibbs supposed he should be thankful. But he'd wanted so much more.

Jenny watched her husband's eyes and saw in them what she would never hear from his lips. Uncertainty, fear, trepidation, wistfulness, worry, and love. She held her hand to his face.

"I don't want to fight with you anymore," Jenny said softly.

Gibbs' arm tightened around her waist. "What do we do then Jen?" he asked. "This is so much bigger than just us."

Jenny wasn't sure exactly what he meant by that, and wished she had an easy solution. But there was only difficult ones in this situation.

She bit her lip. "Can we...agree to not talk about it Jethro, at least for now? Can we just leave it alone until I get the results of the test back?"

His eyes closed but not before she saw the hurt that lingered there. Gibbs was still afraid of what her answer would be.

"I know what everyone says, I know it should be your choice Jen, but we're married. Doesn't that count for something?"

Jenny removed her hand and looked away. "I can't give you the answer you want Jethro. I can't answer a question I haven't even figured out yet. Please," her eyes begged him to understand everything when he couldn't possibly begin to, "I can't talk about it. Can we just be us and leave it alone this week?"

"And what happens after that?" Gibbs wanted to know.

"I don't know. I won't know until I see what the test says. But I promise I will tell you before I do anything." There was hope in his eyes and Jenny shook her head. "I'm not saying I'll change my mind, but I will let you know what I've decided."

It was better than nothing and for now it would have to do. Gibbs swallowed with difficulty, his throat tight. "Okay Jen," he whispered, "I won't bring it up." Gibbs saw the relief in his wife's face. "But I can't promise I won't be thinking about it all week."

She nodded. "Me too."

They looked at each other for a moment. "What now?" Gibbs asked.

"Kiss me Jethro," Jenny requested. "Tell me you love me, that we'll get through this together." She tentatively raised her face to his. "I love you."

Gibbs' lips met hers in a hesitant, explorative kiss. He whispered what she'd asked in her ear, meaning every word. But if he thought their first month after Jenny's kidnapping was rough, he knew it might pale in comparison to what was about to come. He just prayed they'd survive it together. He couldn't be without her again.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Sorry it took so long to update this guys, I've only been able to write Tiva stuff for the last couple days. But here it is and hopefully Chapter 8 will be up in the next couple of days. A special thanks to JibbsGal1, my friend and beta for the beginning of this chapter. If there's any issues, don't blame her, I'm difficult to work with :P Thanks for reading!_

For a long time Gibbs lay in bed enjoying holding Jenny, and Jenny enjoyed being held. There was still a bit of awkward tension between them, the way there was when they were avoiding an elephant sitting in the middle of the room, but they could talk now, and for the moment, they could touch, so today was going to be better than the two yesterdays before it.

Finally Jenny had to get up and shower, grateful not to start her morning by leaning over the toilet, though she'd heard morning sickness could last all day, so perhaps she shouldn't be too optimistic yet. They went to work in separate cars, both with much on their minds to think about.

It was lunch-time when Gibbs felt a presence in front of his desk and looked up to see Ducky standing there.

"Good afternoon Jethro," his friend said brightly. "I was wondering if I might have a moment of your time."

Gibbs dropped his pen on the report he wasn't quite finished writing. "Shoot."

"Not here," the ME said a little more quietly. "Perhaps, your office?"

The suggestion brought Gibbs' eyebrows up. He and Ducky had worked together for more than ten years, and this was the first time he could ever remember that the older man had requested the use of his conference room. Unsure what to expect, Gibbs nodded and stood up, following Ducky to the elevator.

Once they'd passed the fourth floor and were halfway between the second and third, Gibbs pulled the emergency stop switch and leaned against the wall, waiting. Ducky, never one to waste time with silence when there was something to be said, tucked his hands into the pockets of his white lab coat and met his friend's gaze.

"What is going on with you and Jennifer?" he asked without preamble.

Gibbs stifled the urge to glare a hole into the wall next to Ducky's head. "Let me guess," he said dryly, "a little bird told you?"

"More like a little bat," Ducky answered, confirming Gibbs' suspicions about who the doctor's source was. He sighed. "Your team cares about you Jethro, and they are worried. I haven't been topside much this week or I likely would've noticed the change myself. I had hoped the two of you were done with the dark days for awhile."

"You and me both Ducky," was Gibbs' response.

Ducky frowned and regarded the man in front of him carefully. "How bad is it?"

The words hit him and suddenly Gibbs discovered he didn't have the strength to keep the news to himself any longer. "She's pregnant."

"Pregnant?" Ducky questioned, his face brightening. "That's cause for congrat...oh my." The reason for Gibbs' reserved demeanor sank in and the ME grasped the significance of the news. "Oh Jethro, I'm so sorry."

"Yeah," Gibbs said heavily. "Me too." He shook his head. "I would've wanted a child with her Duck."

"I know," Ducky replied, his expression commiserating with Gibbs' anguish. "What is she going to do?"

"She?" Gibbs asked harshly. "Why didn't you ask what we are going to do?"

The older man's eyes widened. "Jethro, the baby isn't yours. Jennifer was the one who was violated, it is her body this news affects. It's her choice alone, not yours."

Gibbs let out a frustrated growl and scraped his fingers through his hair, pacing back and forth in the small dark space. "We're married. Why does no one understand that? We should be making this decision together!"

"And what decision would you have her make?" Ducky asked, though he was almost certain he knew the answer. Jethro had a special place in his heart for children.

The look in Gibbs' eyes begged for understanding, for someone to get where he was coming from. "I know it's not our baby, but there's a life inside her now, that should count for something. We could...we could raise it together, I would love the baby because it's part of her."

"Oh my friend," Ducky sighed, "you have no idea what you are saying. To have a living, breathing reminder of what Jennifer suffered around for her to see every day for the rest of her life? To have that same reminder, for you? You have both seen this man's face, what if the child resembles him?"

He shook his head. "You have no idea how hard that would be, how much it would tear at your heart. You would want to love the child, but every time you looked at him or her you would see the man who so badly hurt your wife. No child should have to bear the weight of being that kind of memory. You're not thinking clearly Jethro."

Gibbs just stared at the floor, and it was hard to tell how much of anything he was hearing. A thought occurred to him and Ducky took off his glasses. "How much of this have you told Jennifer?" When Gibbs didn't answer, Ducky wanted to shake him. "Are you daft?" he said shortly, before tempering his words.

"I'm sorry, that was uncalled for." The ME sighed. "Jethro, you say you want this to be a decision you make together, correct?" Gibbs nodded and Ducky's expression became sympathetic. "Alright, but have you even considered any option other than the one you think is right?"

A groan escaped Gibbs' lips and suddenly Ducky realized he might know where the root of his friend's struggle lay. He reached out and laid a hand on the other man's shoulder. "I know this can't be easy Jethro, I know the situation affects you because Jennifer is your wife. But you cannot save Kelly by trying to save this baby."

A stricken look appeared in Gibbs' eyes and for the first time he could hear the truth his friend was speaking. He dropped his head into his hands, leaning over until he was almost parallel to the floor. "I don't know what to do Duck," Gibbs choked out and Ducky could see he desperately needed the counsel.

The older man sighed. "Jethro, I know the last two months have been anything but easy for you, and I'm very proud of the support that you've shown Jennifer. That's what she needs now." He squeezed Gibbs' shoulder. "You said that you don't know what to do." Gibbs nodded miserably and Ducky said his next words slowly and clearly, hoping his friend would really hear him. "I'll tell you. You give her that support, just as you've been doing. You love her Jethro. Love her and love her and love her. And then you give her a gift." Gibbs looked into Ducky's solemn face. "You give her the freedom to choose."

**NCIS**

Later that afternoon, McGee was sitting at his desk and he looked like he was working. But anyone who guessed that would've been wrong. He was daydreaming. It had been two weeks since he'd finally plugged Ziva's directions into his GPS and found his way to the small, family owned jewellery store out in Silver Spring.

Tim had liked Abram's shop immediately, much better than the large, impersonal, corporate jewellery stores he'd been to. When he walked in, the older man at the counter looked up from what he was working on and smiled.

"Welcome my friend. What may I help you with?"

McGee pulled the folded piece of paper from his pocket. He'd laboured over the sketch for hours, taking care to get it just right. "I was hoping to get an engagement ring made for my girlfriend," he said. "Are you Abram?"

The man frowned slightly. "I am. Do I know you?"

"No," Tim shook his head, "but Leah sent me. She knew I was looking for something special and suggested your shop. I hear you can custom make almost anything."

Abram smiled broadly. "You are a friend of Leah's? Then you are very lucky. My family and I owe her much." He motioned the younger man closer. "Let me see what you have."

Tim unfolded the paper and laid it on the counter. Abram put on a pair of spectacles and leaned closer to examine the sketch. He read each of the carefully written notes, following the arrows that had been drawn and forming in his mind a picture of the ring. When he saw the stones McGee had specified, he looked up curiously.

"Are you sure you want it like this?" He pursed his lips. "This is like no ring for an engagement that I have ever seen."

Tim grinned, knowing few people would understand his decision about the design but that Abby would love it and that was all that mattered. "Trust me," he smiled. "If you knew my girlfriend, you'd know this ring is perfect for her."

Abram nodded after a moment. "As long as you are sure." He jotted a few notes at the bottom of the sheet that Tim couldn't read and he was pretty sure the man wasn't writing in English. Looking up, the older man smiled. "Any friend of Leah's deserves my best. I would be honoured to make this ring for you."

McGee's face lit up. "Thank you sir."

Abram shook his head. "I am only Abram."

Tim fished a card out of his wallet and handed it to the jewller. "My numbers." He glanced around at the display cases, knowing he would probably enjoy looking around sometime, but that it would be more fun to look with Abby. They'd have to come back some day. "Do you know how long it will take?"

Drawing his finger gently over the sketch, Abram shook his head. "This is a very unique ring. I will have to order the center stone, we do not normally keep those in stock. And the details will take longer. It may be as long as two months."

McGee's heart dropped. He did not want to wait that long. He was itching to ask Abby to marry him and it was frustrating that the important things he needed to arrange first were taking so long. But the ring was definitely a non-negotiable thing, Tim knew he couldn't ask her without it. A scene from their Sunday walk at the end of October flashed into his mind, the day Abby gave him specific instructions about his proposal.

_McGee wrapped his arm around his girlfriend's shoulders. "What do you think it's going to be like?"_

"_What?" Abby asked, enjoying the warmth of his body so close to hers._

_Tim kissed her hair. "Forever. Us together. More than just best friends, more intense than dating. Married with a kid. It's the rest of our lives Abbs."_

_Abby squeezed his hand and then let go and skipped backwards in front of him and Jethro. "I don't know," she grinned, "why don't you ask me and we can find out?"_

_McGee's eyes widened and he opened his mouth only to find himself speechless. "How about tomorrow?" he croaked finally, trying to joke._

_Abby shook her head, completely serious. "No way McGee. Not like that. When you decide to ask me, you better do it right. Nice shiny ring, down on one knee, something special - the whole nine yards." She counted the criteria off on her fingers and glared at him. "I'm only going to get engaged once and I want to remember every minute."_

"_You got it Abbs," McGee smiled weakly, trying to calm his heart._

So he would have to wait. But every day would be a struggle and Tim guaranteed that he'd be thinking about their soon-to-be forever every day until he had what Abby needed to say yes. He smiled. "Thank you Abram. This means a lot to me."

Abram's expression softened. "I can tell when a man is in love. You may have to learn patience in these next weeks, but I think it will be worth it in the end, yes?"

Tim grinned. "Oh, you have no idea how worth it she is. Thanks."

"Shalom my friend," Abram returned the smile. "I will call you when it is finished."

Gibbs walked in the room, his expression unreadable as always, and Tim quickly forced himself to concentrate. Two weeks down, six to go. He really hoped Abram was able to finish the ring early because every day it was getting harder to leave Abby and all McGee wanted to do was make her his.

**NCIS**

It might have been sunny outside, but the rest of the day was a dark cloud in Gibbs' mind. He didn't take kindly to being told what to do, what to feel, even if the man giving the advice was someone Gibbs trusted implicitly. It wasn't as easy as everyone made it sound, loving Jenny even if she made what Gibbs was sure would be the biggest mistake of her life. But he'd promised her he wouldn't talk about it and he'd hold his tongue until the test results came in if it killed him.

Gibbs sighed and took another swig of his sixth cup of coffee. He stared out the window beside the bullpen, wishing he could go back in time, just to Monday morning, when everything with his wife had been fine and life still made sense. But it wasn't that easy. He loved Jenny, he loved her from the depths of his soul. Still, no matter what anyone else said, Gibbs was convinced that the option she was considering was wrong and he didn't think there was a single person he knew who would be able to change his mind.

**NCIS**

Long after dark, Tim let himself into Abby's apartment. They hadn't planned to get together tonight, but something hadn't sounded right in her voice when they talked earlier, and McGee decided to drop by and check on her. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep until he made sure she was okay. She'd been quiet today and that worried him.

McGee closed the door and walked into the dimly lit main room. He found Abby curled up on her couch, Bert clutched in her arms. Her hair was down loose around her shoulders, the dark make-up she loved long since washed off. Her eyes flickered to him.

"Hi Tim," she said softly, not at all surprised to see him. She was upset and he came, Tim always seemed to know when something was wrong.

McGee moved a little closer. "What are you doing Abby?"

Her eyes moved back to the spot on the wall she'd been studying for the past hour. "Worrying."

Tim sat down beside Abby. "About what?"

The expression in her eyes was anxious. "Gibbs and Jenny."

"C'mere Abby," he said softly, holding out his arms.

She moved into them easily, glad for the reassurance she felt when they were together like this. "It's been three days Timmy and something is very wrong."

McGee brushed his thumb down her arms. "I know."

When he didn't say anything more, Abby looked at him. "Doesn't that bother you?"

Tim thought back to the last couple days: Gibbs leaving early on Monday, refusing to answer their questions Tuesday, his distance yesterday and his pensiveness today. The Director hadn't spoken to any of them or come to the bullpen all week. She and Gibbs had barely done more than glance at each other. He sighed.

"Yeah it bothers me Abby. But they're not talking to each other and they're certainly not talking to us. I don't think we can help this time."

Abby fingered Bert's ear. She was quiet for a long time, unusual for her even if she was thinking. McGee just waited, keeping his arms tight around her. When Abby finally spoke, her voice was quiet, her words hesitant.

"Timmy?" she asked. "Do you think Gibbs and Jenny would ever get a divorce?"

"No," Tim shook his head and made the declaration firmly, understanding how deeply the rift between their bosses was affecting his girlfriend. She loved their team so much, it made sense that her mind would focus on the worst 'what ifs'.

"No," he repeated, knowing she needed to hear it. "I don't think they will. Gibbs and Jenny have worked way too hard to get this far in their marriage just to quit now." Tim cupped Abby's cheek. "They'll get through this Abby. And so will we." Slowly he leaned in to kiss her.

Abby took the comfort he was offering and kissed him back. Bert fell almost unnoticed to the floor as she shifted so she was sitting in Tim's lap and pressed tiny kisses all over his face.

"Abby," McGee whispered, working his fingers into her hair, and pulling her back to his lips. He kissed her again, slowly, her mouth soft and full under his, her touch still needy.

She broke the kiss. "We'll never...I mean, when we're married...no matter how bad we fight, right Tim?"

He stopped her with a finger on her lips. "Never Abbs," McGee replied hoarsely, knowing what she was thinking. "I don't care if we have the worst fight in the world, we're never going to say that word. We're not even going to think that word, okay?"

Abby smiled. "Okay." She looked into his eyes and Tim saw so much reflected there.

He didn't deserve this, for her to love him like she did. He swallowed. "I love you Abby."

She held his face in both hands, believing every word he'd said. Kissing his lips gently, Abby let her love for this man show on her face. "I love you too Timmy." She smiled at him. "Thanks for coming."

"Always Abbs, I'll always be here when you need me," Tim whispered against her hair.

Abby sighed contentedly and snuggled against her boyfriend's chest. Tim settled his arms around her again, glad to be with her and looking forward more to a night when he didn't have to leave.


	8. Chapter 8

Jenny sat at her desk on Friday morning staring at her computer screen. The cursor in the Google search box had been blinking for several minutes but Jenny hadn't yet gotten up the nerve to type anything in it. Finally she sat up, bit her lip, and quickly typed five words into the white box - "abortion clinics in Washington DC". It was Google, so the amount of results that popped up shouldn't've surprised her, but it did.

Scrolling down the list of links, Jenny went back to the top and started with the first one. The link opened up to a white and blue page with a 1-800 number to direct her call and a list of other numbers to call depending on how many weeks pregnant she was. At the bottom of the page was a list of states and Jenny clicked on hers to see where that took her.

The Washington DC link lead Jenny to a list of clinics available in her area and she picked the first one. Listed at the top of the clinic's homepage was a series of categories and Jenny chose the "Services & Care" tab. Scrolling down, she read about the different options for what the clinic called "pregnancy termination". It all sounded very simple and mess-free, but she knew there had to be more to it than that. Still, she jotted down the number on a small sheet of paper, just in case.

Seeking more information, Jenny brought Google back up and did a new search, just "abortion clinics". The fourth link down caught her eye, a website claiming to have "the facts" on abortion. She didn't notice the rest of the title until it was too late. The page she came to this time was white with a purple stripe at the top, the topics sitting in nine small boxes divided by dotted lines.

"Abortion Stories" was the first heading and it was the one Jenny clicked on, hoping to get a first person perspective of what the procedure was like. Doctors had a tendency to leave out pertinent information if it wasn't exactly of the uplifting variety. One of the personal testimonies caused Jenny's eyebrows to raise and she wondered if the information was completely accurate.

Shaking her head, Jenny headed back to the homepage and this time took a lot at the potential risks involved with having an abortion. She barely even scanned the lengthy list before realizing quickly that none of this information was going to help her form an unbiased opinion about the procedure she was considering. Frowning, she wondered if she was on the right website.

Leaving the site open, Jenny went back to Google and chose the first heading this time. The page she arrived at was done in calming colours with a gentle design and her eyes were immediately drawn to the Fact or Fiction listing on the right-hand side. The second statement that claimed to be fiction denied that first and second trimester fetuses could feel pain.

Something about that didn't sit right with Jenny. She knew babies had been delivered as early as six months, which was the second trimester. If the babies were out of the womb and in the world, they had to be able to feel and respond to stimuli, pleasant or hurtful.

Curious now, Jenny clicked in the Google search box yet again and typed in "Fetal development at 8 weeks." She hesitated, then changed the criteria to nine weeks, remembering the count she did when thinking about how far along she was. Not sure exactly what she was looking for, Jenny put her mouse on the first option and moved the sidebar down the page. The information she found took every other thought out of her head.

_At nine weeks your uterus is the size of a grapefruit to hold your tiny baby, who is now an inch long. The baby is beginning to look more human as eyelids develop, and facial movements can now be detected. The baby's organs, muscles, and nerves are beginning to function and he or she will curve their fingers around an object placed in the palm of their hand. Your baby has started moving as well, and even though the movements are too small to be felt, know that the baby is wriggling, shifting, and dancing already._

Unconsciously, Jenny's hand moved to rest on her still flat stomach as she imagined the little flutters of movement that had been described. She closed her eyes briefly and thought of a little girl dressed in ballet tights, but willed the image away before tears could fall. Quickly she closed the website down, not wanting to read any more.

She sat very still for several minutes, trying to remember the reasons she could not get attached to this baby, the reasons she had to take the first option she'd come up with. Bringing up the Abortion Facts website again, Jenny saw the title "Is It Really A Baby?" and clicked on it quickly, hoping she would see something that would prove the development website wrong.

The link at the top of the page led her to a National Geographic video clip entitled "Life In The Womb". It was only two minutes long, but Jenny tried not to pay too much attention to the pictures of older babies, babies who were closer to being born. The part that caught her ear was when the announcer started talking about some of the earliest 4D scans that had ever been taken of a fetus in the womb. And then came the words that made Jenny catch her breath and forced her gaze back to the screen.

"Here, an embryo of just 8 weeks, less than an inch and a half long, is making its first movements."

Jenny's eyes were locked on the picture as she watched a small baby, laying on its back in the safety of its mother's womb, jerkily waving its arms and legs. That was her baby, nearly the same age as the one she carried right now. And it came to her in a flash of clarity that whether she kept the baby or not, it deserved a chance at life, and no matter how hard that was to do, Jenny suddenly wanted to give the child inside her that chance.

**NCIS**

After several deep breaths, Jenny closed down all the tabs she'd kept open and started a fresh page, again using Google as her starting point. Employing a combination of key words, Jenny searched for information about babies conceived by rape, looking for wisdom about what to do.

An article labeled, "Rape and Incest are Tragic, But Abortion Doesn't Heal the Pain" drew Jenny's interest, even if she thought the title seemed a bit flippant. In the end, she was glad she'd taken the time to read it. After skipping over a few statistics on abortion, Jenny went looking for something else, something more.

Near the bottom of the page were two bolded titles - "Healing By Adoption" and "Conquering the Rape". Intrigued, Jenny read the reasons why women who had kept their babies now thought adoption would've been better, both for the sake of their child and also so the mother did not have to deal with the emotional problems that came with daily being reminded of their assault.

Jenny appreciated the first-hand insight, it was the same line of thought she was currently following, though because her change of opinion was still recent, she knew she had much to learn before she was ready to fully decide what to do when the child was born.

The last section, about conquering rape, held the information that spoke loudest to Jenny. _The survivor may sense, at least at a subconscious level, that if she can get through the pregnancy she will have conquered the rape, _the author wrote_. By giving birth, she can reclaim some of her lost self-esteem. Giving birth, especially when conception was not desired, is a totally selfless act, a generous act, a display of courage, strength and honor. It is proof that she is better than the rapist. When he was selfish, she can be generous. While he destroyed, she can nurture._

For the first time since she started her research, Jenny smiled. She liked how the author had worded that section. She wanted to be better than the man who did this to her. And maybe, by giving the baby a chance at life, Jenny herself would find freedom from the shadows for good. Perhaps it would be her first step to forgiving.

**NCIS**

Several hours later, after a fairly normal day compared to the rest of her week, Jenny was relaxing at home in the library. Gibbs was out in the workshop still puttering away at his special project for Abby and McGee, who he insisted were going to get engaged in the very near future.

Jenny put down her book and looked out the window that faced towards her backyard where the workshop stood. Things with her husband had been neutral today, neither good nor bad as they were still being very careful of each other and working hard not to talk about the only thing on both of their minds.

After that morning, Jenny had considered telling Gibbs about her change of heart. But his mood had been hard to pin down and she hadn't felt able to share what she'd learned through her research. They had agreed not to talk about it, at any rate, until the test results came back. Maybe then she'd be ready to talk to him, maybe by then he'd be able to listen.

The phone rang, startling her out of her musing. Jenny reached for it automatically. "Jenny Gibbs."

"Hello Jenny, it's Meredith," the older woman said with a smile in her voice.

"Meredith, hi," Jenny replied, her mood brightening. "How are you?"

She'd been a little nervous meeting Gibbs' good friend Bill and his wife a little over a month ago, but she needn't have worried. Both husband and wife were open and welcoming and by the end of their first evening together, Jenny felt like they were all long-lost friends. She'd been slowly getting to know Bill, and particularly Meredith, since that first supper they'd shared and she was glad to hear from her friend, especially tonight. She could use someone to talk to.

"Bill and I are fine. He's out at his men's group with the church tonight. That's actually the reason I was calling. I realize it's Friday night, but if you don't have plans, would you like to join me over here for coffee?"

Jenny frowned, but only because she was now off coffee probably forever, or at least that's what another seven months with no caffeine would feel like. "Do you have tea?"

"I enjoy a cup now and then," Meredith answered. "I think I have some in the cupboard somewhere, but if you have a favaourite kind, bring it over with you." She paused for a moment. "Is that a yes?"

"Definitely," Jenny smiled. "Just let me tell Jethro and I'll be right over. Fifteen minutes?"

"See you then Jenny."

"Thanks Merry."

Jenny hung up the house phone and reached for her cellphone.

"Yeah, Gibbs," her husband answered gruffly, and she could picture him with the phone wedged between his cheek and shoulder as he continued whatever he was doing with his tools until something was deemed urgent enough to make him leave.

"It's just me," she said softly.

Gibbs put down his chisel and glanced towards the house. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything is fine. But it's cold and I don't feel like coming out. Meredith just called, I'm going to go over for coffee. You going to be okay without supervision?" she teased.

He huffed indignantly. "Been working with my hands a long time before I had you around Jen. Still got all my fingers."

"Okay then. I probably won't be too late."

"Take your time." He chuckled. "Merry hasn't seen you in a couple weeks, I'm sure you two will have lots to talk about." His humour died as soon as he realized what he'd said. Gibbs' words had extra significance this time. "Jen, I didn't mean-" he started, but Jenny shook her head, even though he couldn't see her.

"I know how you meant it Jethro," she added quietly. "It's fine. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah. Jen?" he asked.

"Mmhmm?"

"I love you."

"Me too." She flipped the phone closed and left the library to get ready to leave.

**NCIS**

About two minutes after Jenny hung up with him, Gibbs was just finishing one of the pictures in the top corner of his project. The phone rang again. Without even looking at the call display, he answered it.

"Forget something Jen?" he asked.

There was silence on the other end as someone hesitated. "Umm...Jethro?" It was a female voice but he couldn't place it. Still, the list of ladies who called him by his middle name was a short one.

Gibbs frowned. "Who's this?"

"It's Rachel."

That was unexpected. "Oh, hi. Are you looking for Jenny?" He wasn't sure how she'd gotten his number but decided his wife was to blame.

"No actually." She took a breath. "I wanted to talk to you."

Putting his chisel down again, Gibbs leaned against the workbench. "Shoot."

"Are you free tomorrow morning?"

Now Gibbs was really confused. "You're not asking me out, are you?"

Rachel laughed. "For coffee, yes. For anything else, no. That would just be weird."

"Good." He thought about it a moment. "Coffee? Is something wrong?"

"I haven't decided yet," Rachel answered after a pause.

"That was cryptic," he commented. "What time?"

"Is nine am okay?"

"Yeah, sure," Gibbs agreed without even checking his watch. He was curious as to why Jenny's best friend wanted to meet with him. "Are you okay?" he asked at last, trying to get a clue as to what this was all about.

Rachel sighed. "I haven't decided yet. Thanks Jethro. I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay."

Gibbs closed his phone and looked at it for a second. Some things about women he was probably never going to understand. For now, he'd just wait for tomorrow morning and hope all his questions got answered.


	9. Chapter 9

Meredith opened the front door as soon as she saw the car stop in the driveway. Her red-haired friend came up the walk, bundled in a stylish winter jacket to ward off the cold, and Merry welcomed her into the house with a gentle hug. Jenny leaned into the embrace, very glad to be able to see her friend tonight. Merry was a good listener and a fountain of carefully dispensed wisdom, something Jenny was sorely in need of tonight.

Leaning back, Merry met Jenny's eyes. "I'm so glad you could come."

"So am I." Jenny returned the smile and took off her coat, which Merry hung in the hall closet.

"I already put water on for tea. You'll have to tell me what you like in it though."

"Milk and sugar is fine, but I can fix it myself."

Merry looked at her curiously. "Develop a sudden dislike for coffee?"

Jenny avoided her gaze. "Needed a change for awhile."

Leading her friend into the kitchen, Meredith got out mugs for both of them and the ingredients they wanted to add to their drinks. When all was ready, the two women sat down at the comfy kitchen table and Merry put her hand over Jenny's.

"I'm sorry," she said softly."

Jenny frowned. "Sorry for what?"

Compassion filled Meredith's expression. "Bill told me about your news. I can imagine this has been a very tough week."

Now Jenny was bewildered. "Bill told you? How did he know?"

Merry looked surprised. "Didn't you know? Jethro called Bill early Tuesday morning, said he needed to talk. We've been praying for the two of you all week." Her brow furrowed. "Jethro didn't tell you?"

Jenny sighed. "We haven't really been talking a lot this week. It's been...hard, for both of us."

"Do you want to talk about it?" The older woman's open expression offered nothing but a listening ear and a friend who cared.

Nodding slowly, Jenny accepted and began to tell Merry about her week, starting with the phone call from Dr. Marriott on Monday. Sipping her tea occasionally, she shared about buying a pregnancy test, Gibbs' reaction when he came home, and remembered their terribly awkward evening that just got worse when they tried to talk.

She sighed, rubbing her forehead. "I never told Jethro how much I hoped to get pregnant after we married, or how I felt about Shannon and Kelly and his memories. We ended up fighting again and I left. I just couldn't stay in the same room with Jethro and his stubborn opinions, there wasn't even room for mine."

"So you're still not speaking?" Meredith inquired with concern, knowing it wasn't good for them.

Jenny forced a smile. "We're talking, just not about anything important."

"I see," Merry nodded. "So what happened Tuesday?"

Glad to be able to talk and get it off her chest, sharing with a friend so much different than spelling things out for her therapist, Jenny talked about staying home from work, experiencing morning sickness and knowing she now had an explanation for all the random times she'd been sick in the last month, and Rachel's visit.

She told Merry about the normalcy of her time with Gibbs at the doctor's office, the fear, pain, and memories associated with the procedure used for her paternity test, and talking to Kristyn later that day. With a shudder Jenny recalled her nightmare and the ways her husband had helped, and about their conversation the next morning, along with their agreement not to talk about it until the test results came back.

"So," Jenny finished, feeling drained, "that's my week. How was yours?"

Meredith gave her a knowing look. "Not so fast Jenny. I don't recall hearing about today in that list. Did something happen?"

Jenny's shoulders fell and she wasn't sure if one weight was gone from what she carried of if a new one had been added. "I made a decision this morning," she revealed quietly.

Uncertainty flickered in Merry's eyes before her face went neutral. "What kind of decision?"

"When I sat down at my desk this morning, all I wanted to do was get the number of an abortion clinic in DC and be done with it, I thought my choice had been made. But..."

"But what?" Merry prompted, not sure what kind of support her friend needed.

"But the first website didn't have enough information, the second made it sound too easy, and the third left me with questions. So I looked up fetal development to get my answer." She shrugged. "I'm not sure yet if that was my best or worst decision."

"What did you find?"

"More than I ever wanted to know," Jenny sighed. "At nine weeks this baby is already moving and so very much alive that I can't even think the word 'termination' without feeling ill. I saw a video, a 4D scan of an eight week old baby in the womb. And after that I knew I couldn't go through with an abortion."

Relief filled Meredith's smile, but she stayed quiet and waited, knowing there was more.

"So I guess..." Jenny said heavily, "I guess I'm going to stay pregnant no matter what the test results say. But it's a lot to take in, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around the change."

Meredith squeezed Jenny's hand. "One step at a time honey, that's all any of us can take. Have you told Jethro?"

Jenny crossed her arms, feeling a little childish. "His attitude doesn't exactly make me what to be open with him."

"What would you like him to say?" Merry asked, interested in the answer.

Jenny's eyes flashed. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe something like, 'I'm sorry for not even letting you catch your breath before I tried to tell you what to do', or just that I have his support even if he doesn't like what I choose. 'I love you' isn't exactly cutting it right now when there's so many threads unraveling."

Merry understood. Married thirty years to a wonderful man of her own, she and Bill had still been through many tough times, but always together. "For better or for worse..." she quoted with a small smile.

Jenny leaned back in her chair, the fight draining out of her. "I know." She wrinkled her nose at her friend. "Do you have an answer for everything Merry?"

The older woman laughed. "Oh, I wish. Unfortunately, no. But I know what's it's like to live with a stubborn man. There were times in our first five years of marriage when neither one of us were sure we were going to make it."

Jenny's eyes widened. "Bill? Your Bill, used to be like Jethro?"

"They were two of a kind," Meredith's eyes twinkled as she remembered. "I've known Jethro since his Gunny days. He's come a long way since then but he's changed a lot as well. He wasn't always so gruff."

Leaning her head on her hand, because stories about her husband from before she knew him always intrigued her, Jenny encouraged her friend to go on.

Merry shook her head. "Ask again when Bill is here. He tells the stories so much better."

"What happened for Bill to change?" Jenny asked, curious now.

Merry's smile became a little sad. "The same thing that happens to us all, life. The difference comes in how we react to it." She paused, weighing her next words. "I don't think I've shared this before, but Bill and I lost three children to miscarriage, one at six months. That is the kind of thing that can either draw you together or tear you apart, make you bitter or give you a heart of compassion for others."

Meredith twisted her wedding ring around on her finger "For Bill and I, the loss of those babies, especially our daughter, had the effect of binding us even closer together, and our hearts healed as one. Bill was so angry after the last time, after Cassie."

She saw Jenny's confused look and shrugged. "I was six months. We knew we were having a girl, and we'd already named her. Anyways, Bill was angry and I was broken. I'd been so sure that this time we would finally make it to the end of my pregnancy. But instead of getting bitter, God gave us the ability to love others even more, to understand. I didn't want to tell you that before you made a choice. I didn't want to influence you."

"Oh Merry, I'm so sorry," Jenny whispered, her eyes wet.

"So am I," the older woman admitted, "but it was a long time ago and I have peace about it, because I know I'll see my little girl in heaven one day."

Jenny shifted uneasily, not comfortable with talk of God and death. Merry saw and smiled, then changed the subject, knowing the time for serious conversation was over for now.

"So, when do I get to meet his Rachel I've heard so much about? She sounds fascinating. How did you two meet?"

Jenny laughed, relieved at the topic Merry had picked. "She is fascinating. Life is never boring with Rachel around. We met in college, as roommates, and after two days together I knew we'd either be best friends or best enemies. I'm glad we chose the first."

Meredith finished her coffee. "Tell me about her."

Raising her eyebrows, Jenny asked, "Are you sure? I've got enough Rachel stories to last hours."

"I've got time Jenny," Merry smiled.

"Okay then, you asked for it." Jenny relaxed in her chair and let her mind wander back through the years to college, and the day she met her best friend. "It all started on the first day of school..."

**NCIS**

Jenny was still asleep when Gibbs got out of bed the next morning, careful not to disturb her. After getting dressed, he scribbled a note to tell her he'd be back in a couple hours and to call if she needed anything. He left it on his pillow.

On his way out to the car, it occurred to Gibbs that Rachel hadn't said where they were meeting for coffee. But he figured, like Jen, Rachel would be a creature of habit, so he made his way to the little café he and Jenny and Rachel had met at a few times over the past several weeks.

As he'd expected, Rachel was sitting at a small window table, sipping a steaming cup of something that would be anything but coffee. Gibbs pocketed his keys and ordered his own drink at the counter before joining her.

"Tea?" he asked, eyeing her mug.

"Hot apple cider," Rachel smiled and Gibbs shook his head slightly. Trust her to be original.

The server brought Gibbs' strong black coffee and he took a fortifying swallow before meeting Rachel's eyes.

"What's going on Rachel?" he asked, knowing it wouldn't be something trifling if she'd called him.

Rachel traced a finger around the rim of her mug and sighed, finally looking up. "Are you and Jenny still fighting?" she asked bluntly, concern shimmering in her eyes.

Gibbs was taken aback, though he should've been used to her style by now. In the last few months she'd become family just as much as the team was. Shifting uncomfortably, he looked away. "We're not fighting exactly."

Rachel pinned him with a stare and he wondered how long she'd been practicing. "But you're not getting along," she read between the lines.

Gibbs frowned. "What's with the interrogation?" He did not like being on the receiving end.

Rachel sighed. "I'm going to take a wild guess and assume you and I have a similar opinion about abortion - it wouldn't ever be our first choice." Gibbs nodded once, his arms still crossed. "But that's the point Jethro, it's not our choice. It's Jenny's."

Gibbs opened his mouth to protest against another lecture, but Rachel held her hand up and he raised one eyebrow, not used to being shushed. Her gaze sharpened.

"Jenny's my best friend Jethro and I care a lot about her, about both of you. If I can stifle my opinions no matter how right I think I am because that's not what she needs, can't you, as her husband, a person who should love her more than I do, try to do the same thing, for her sake?"

He frowned. "You want me to say nothing as she just makes this decision herself? A decision that will end that little life inside her? Why Rachel?"

Rachel closed her eyes. "I don't like confrontation Jethro, I never have, so this isn't easy for me. And believe me, I understand where you're coming from. But like I told Jenny on Tuesday, I've learned some hard lessons since college, about when to speak and when to stay silent." She smiled at him sadly. "Let me share what experience has taught me, and then you can do with it what you will."

She took a deep breath. "I've had some friends, good friends, who found themselves in a situation like Jenny's, pregnant with a child they didn't want. And one thing I started noticing was that no matter how much I ranted and raved and lectured and pleaded, they were going to make their own decision. Finally I realized something - I had never walked in their shoes and I didn't know what it was like to face that kind of choice."

"Those who chose to go ahead with their abortions felt guilt, regret, and shame. They had to deal with the labels that people who didn't understand threw at them. Everything they carried with them afterwards wasn't good, it was a heavy weight and they didn't need me adding to it."

Rachel paused as the pain of those memories filled her momentarily. Then she took a drink and looked up again. "What my friends needed from me when they were struggling was my support, not my lectures or my condemnation. I may not have liked their choice and I may not have agreed with it, but it was their choice and they needed me to respect it. I needed to stand behind them because I soon discovered that sometimes I was the only one who would."

She held Gibbs' gaze a moment, unable to tell how much, if any, of her words were getting through. Turning, she looked out the window again."What my friends needed to hear from me was not that what they had done was wrong, but rather that they were not horrible people for making a decision that might've been right for them even if it never was for me. The decision they made, whatever it was, would impact them hugely, maybe for the rest of their lives. So right then they needed a friend, and that's what I tried to be."

Rachel fixed her eyes on the man in front of her. "For Jenny, Jethro, what are you trying to be?"

Those were the words that finally made it through the wall of 'I'm right' in Gibbs' mind. His pride broke, leaving behind the echoes of all the wisdom his friends had been trying to get him to hear all week. Bill's voice was first.

"_What will happen if Jenny does get an abortion?" Bill prodded gently. "What then?"_

"_Well, I guess her problem is solved then, isn't it?" Gibbs' tone was sharp and cutting._

"_And what about you and Jenny, your marriage? You're in the middle of 'for better or for worse', my friend. You have to decide if it's worth it, if she's worth it."_

His own words came back to him._"She's worth everything."_

"_I guess you have your answer then," Bill said. "What are you going to do with it?"_

Gibbs remembered the pain in his heart_. "What am I supposed to do with it?"_

"_Love her Jethro, just like you've been doing. Support her, talk if she wants to but don't push. This is so much for her to deal with on top of everything else. In a way it's almost more personal than when she was raped. She might actually break this time. And if that happens, she's going to need you to pick up the pieces whether she thinks she does or not."_

Gibbs had glared at his friend_. "You do know you make it very hard for me to feel like I'm still right?"_

_Bill smiled. "A good friend will always be honest with you Jethro, even if the truth isn't something you really want to hear."_

"_I don't know how to fix this Bill."_

_Bill kept his gaze steady. "You can't. It's as simple as that but not simple at all. Just let Jenny know she is not alone, that she will always have your love. That's where you have to start." He laid a hand on Gibbs' shoulder. "And know you're not alone either Gunny."_

Gibbs nodded slowly as his friend's advice hit him. The memories kept coming and he winced as he thought of Ducky, trying so hard to get through to him when Gibbs didn't want to listen. But he was listening now.

"_What is she going to do?" Ducky asked._

"_She?" Gibbs repeated harshly. "Why didn't you ask what we are going to do?"_

_The older man's eyes widened. "Jethro, the baby isn't yours. Jennifer was the one who was violated, it is her body this news affects. It's her choice alone, not yours."_

_Gibbs let out a frustrated growl. "We're married. Why does no one understand that? We should be making this decision together!"_

"_And what decision would you have her make?" Ducky asked._

"_I know it's not our baby, but there's a life inside her now, that should count for something. We could...we could raise it together, I would love the baby because it's part of her."_

_The ME sighed. "Jethro, don't know what you're saying. To always have that reminder around of what Jennifer suffered? That wouldn't be fair to any of you, the child especially." He paused. "You say you want this to be a decision you make together, correct?" Gibbs nodded. "Alright, but have you even considered any option other than the one you think is right?"_

"_I don't know what to do Duck."_

"_Jethro, I know the last two months have been anything but easy for you, and I'm very proud of the support that you've shown Jennifer. That's what she needs now." He squeezed Gibbs' shoulder. "You give her that support, just as you've been doing. You love her Jethro. Love her and love her and love her. And then you give her a gift. You give her the freedom to choose."_

The last thing Ducky had said to him broke Gibbs' heart. He closed his eyes. "Oh Jen," he groaned, "I'm sorry."

Rachel was kind enough not to interrupt his thoughts until she thought he was ready to hear the last thing she had to say. She put her hand lightly on Gibbs' arm. "Jenny told me many times how much she loved getting your 'flower messages' before." Rachel lifted one eyebrow. "What could you say to her now?"

Hope bloomed in Gibbs' eyes and he squeezed Rachel's hand, not for the first time and not for the last very grateful for Jenny's best friend. "Thank you," he whispered.

Rachel smiled. "Anytime Jethro. I'm not going anywhere."

**NCIS**

Seeing Agent Gibbs at NCIS on a Sunday wasn't entirely unusual. Seeing him practically tear his desk apart trying to find a single brown folder among the tens of other folders littering his workspace was. Finally Gibbs found what he sought and smiled as he pulled the dog-eared papers out.

Running a finger down the list, Gibbs located the section he remembered from October, the month when flowers became his way of speaking to Jenny because his words weren't getting through. But this time he needed to apologize for the words she had heard.

Carefully folding the list and tucking it in his pocket, Gibbs took out his cellphone and dialed the number for Jenny's favourite flower shop from memory. It had, after all, been very useful last time. He wanted to find out how late Just Blossoms was open on Saturday.

**NCIS**

It was early afternoon before Jenny made it downstairs, finally awake, showered, and dressed in clothes she only ever wore for lounging around the house. She'd slept later today than she had on recent weekends. Her conversation with Meredith last night had been emotionally draining on top of the weariness she felt from that morning. It was a good combination for sleeping in.

Then she opened her eyes to discover that Jethro had gone out. Because she was alone, Jenny opted for a relaxing soak in a bubble bath, something she appreciated more once she found herself kneeling over the toilet again after she got out of bed.

After that came a shower to take care of the necessary washing and shaving. Her hair she left down, hoping at some point that Gibbs would be around to appreciate it. Once in the kitchen, Jenny put on water for tea and frowned as she slid a slice of bread into the toaster. Her upset stomach diet was far from appetizing.

She buttered her toast lightly, fixed her tea, and wandered into the library in search of something to read. A section of Irish historical romances caught her eye and Jenny smiled at the memory. Her father had always insisted she was the secret Irish one with her green eyes, red hair, and temper to match, and anything that reminded him of Ireland usually found it's way into their house for her.

Jenny recalled paging through one or two of them in her first year of college, but could honestly say she hadn't looked at them since. Letting her fingers play over the titles, she chose one with a plaid cover and sat down on the couch, tucking her feet under herself. A good book, as Rachel loved to say, was a perfect way to spend a couple hours. Turning to page one, Jenny had to agree.

**NCIS**

An hour later Jenny was completely absorbed in the story and looked up with a start when she thought she heard the front door open and close.

"Jethro?" she called, surprised when she received no response.

She marked her place in the book and got up to check. Laying on the floor in the entry were four individually wrapped, long stemmed tulips in different colours. Each one bore a number on the clear plastic covering them and a card lay to one side.

Curious, Jenny squatted down to get a closer look. She rearranged the flowers in the right order - first pink, then red, and white, with yellow last. Her eyes ran over the colours while her mind pulled the meanings out before she even consciously thought about it.

Pink - _I care about you_. Red - _I love you, believe me. _White - _forgive me. _Yellow - _still hopelessly in love with you_.

Jenny sniffed, trying not to get emotional, even if the gift her husband was offering in the words of another language made her want to both laugh and cry. She stared at the flowers for a long time before reaching for the card. It was short, the few words fitting the man she knew, and Jenny realized she owed Rachel big time.

_You're lucky to have a best friend who cared enough to talk some sense into this stubborn old Marine. I mean it Jen, I'm sorry. Always, Jethro._

Tears slipped down her cheeks as she read what her husband had written. Then the door opened and Gibbs stuck his head in.

"Jen?" he asked hesitantly.

She stood up and moved towards him. Gibbs caught her in his arms and held her tightly. There were no more words to say.

At that moment, Gibbs wasn't sure what would happen to their love if Jenny went through with what she was thinking, or how things would change, but one thing he knew: somehow everything would turn out okay, because Gibbs didn't know how to stop loving Jenny. And even if he knew, he wouldn't want to. So Gibbs just kept his arms around his wife and prayed somehow for a miracle.


	10. Chapter 10

Monday morning found Jenny sitting in her office again, and the whole scene felt eerily familiar. Shaking the thought away, she glanced at her schedule for the day, glad to see it was going to keep her busy. It still made Jenny nervous to have too much time alone to think, even if today was better than yesterday simply because she knew her husband would be there for her now, whatever happened next.

After supervising an op in MTAC that ended well and left her in a good mood, Jenny was off for two separate lunch appointments and didn't see her desk again until nearly 1500. When the phone rang shortly after she sat down, Jenny expected a crisis, but instead it was the call she hadn't thought she'd get for another week at the earliest.

"Director Shepard," she answered.

"Jenny, it's Dr. Marriott."

"Sarah?" Jenny frowned as a feeling of deja vu came over her again. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong Jenny. I just wanted to let you know that your test results came back."

Jenny's eyebrows shot up. "Already? I thought it would take longer."

Sarah shrugged. "It just depends on how backed up they are at the lab. I guess you got lucky."

"Yes," Jenny said slowly, taking a deep breath. "Well?"

"I'm really not allowed to tell you over the phone Jenny. But I'm at the office all day, you can drop by and pick the results up anytime."

"Oh." Jenny wanted to know the answer now. "Okay, thank you Sarah."

"I'll see you later Jenny."

They both hung up and Jenny leaned back in her chair, realizing that she had two hours left until the earliest time she could leave. But with that phone call weighing heavily on her mind, there was no way she'd be able to get any work done until she knew what the test results said.

**NCIS**

Having barely seen or spoken to his wife all day, Gibbs took advantage of a lull in the case to go upstairs and see how things were going. He found her standing in front of the large window in her office, staring down at the harbour. Jenny didn't move when he closed the door.

"Jen?" he asked softly, trying to read her mood. Things were better today but she was still holding herself back from him, not that Gibbs could blame her. It had been a rough week for both of them.

She turned to face him but her eyes weren't focused and Gibbs could tell she was distracted. "Hello Jethro. Did you need something?"

Gibbs didn't like not knowing what was going on in her head. "I haven't see you much today. Just thought I'd see how things were going."

"Hmm?" Jenny responded, preoccupied again before his words registered. "Oh yes, well, I've been busy."

Unsure now because it really didn't feel like she was with him, Gibbs shrugged. "Can I get you anything?" It was a fairly oft-used question in the last month as he tried to make sure she was eating something during the day, for the meals they didn't share.

Jenny finally met his eyes and smiled briefly. "No thank you. I already had lunch." Her gaze drifted away again and Gibbs finally gave up.

"Okay Jen. See you later?"

"What?" she frowned. "Oh right, later."

Jenny turned back tot he window and Gibbs left, taking himself to the little alcove off the stairs, needing a moment to think before he got his head back in the case. The way Jenny was acting worried him. A month ago it would've meant something bad had happened and even now Gibbs kicked himself for not asking if any memories had come up today. It fit her behaviour, though usually she told him about the flashbacks.

But his fear was that Jenny's preoccupation had something to do with whatever decision she was trying to make regarding the baby. He knew he couldn't say anything, not when he was trying hard to practice all the advice he'd been given last week, but Gibbs wished Jenny would talk to him. He wanted to know what to be prepared for.

**NCIS**

By 4:45 pm, Jenny couldn't take any more waiting. She packed up her things and told Cynthia she was leaving early. On her way to the elevator, she caught Gibbs' eye, making the sign for 'doctor'. She saw the concern in his eyes and smiled, though she didn't think it would make him feel any better. No matter what the results said, their lives were about to change.

Jenny let her security detail escort her to the medical building, and the receptionist, Diana, showed her to an empty exam room, telling her that Dr. Marriott would be in as soon as she finished with her current patient. Nodding, Jenny sat anxiously in the chair provided. She fiddled with her rings, her bracelets, and the pendant on her necklace while she ran over the last couple days in her head.

Just as she was about to get up and pace because she had too much nervous energy to sit still any longer, the door opened and Dr. Marriott came in. "Jenny." Her expression was neutral, not giving anything away.

"Sarah." Jenny was out of patience. "The results?"

The doctor nodded slowly and handed Jenny the piece of paper that would decide the baby's future.

**NCIS**

Back at NCIS, Gibbs had gone for coffee and Abby had joined the team in the squadroom. They had some things to talk about.

"What are we going to do guys?" Abby posed the question from her place on the floor beside Tim's desk. Tony was sitting in his chair facing them and Ziva leaned against the corner of his desk. "Something is seriously wrong."

"Yeah," Tony agreed. "Gibbs and Jenny have been acting like strangers all week. It's starting to freak me out. This is worse than when they weren't together."

Abby poked her boyfriend in the leg when he didn't add anything to the discussion. McGee shrugged. "We could try confronting them, but you know how well that worked last time. Gibbs just blew us off and Jenny is likely to caught bodily harm the way she's been acting."

"They're not supposed to be hiding things anymore," Abby muttered, crossing her arms. "How are we supposed to help if they won't tell us what's going on?"

Ziva tapped her fingers on Tony's desk. "I agree with Abby. I do not like being left in the night about things."

"Dark, Ziva," came Tony's auto-correct. She frowned at him. "Maybe we should-"

He was cut off when Gibbs walked in and glared at them. "What are you doing?" he growled. All of them in the same room at the same time was just begging for trouble.

"Campfire Boss," Tony jumped in without missing a beat. "Abby wanted votes on her new tattoo."

Abby, also quick on her feet, grinned and nodded enthusiastically. "I can't decide between a fire dragon, the phoenix, or the Japanese character for eternal love." She glanced meaningfully at Tim and he squeezed her shoulder.

Gibbs didn't believe them for a minute, but he was amused by the cover-up. Not that he'd show it. "So I guess the case is solved?" he asked dryly.

"I'm going to see if Major Mass Spec found anything on the residue." Abby was gone in a flash of white lab coat and black pigtails.

McGee's fingers were already tapping away on his keyboard. "I've got an update on those financials Boss." He put the picture on the plasma.

"Still looking for the sister Boss but I'm just going to..." Tony looked around wildly for something useful to do, "...um, call Metro again, just in case they found something."

Ziva walked quickly back to her desk. "Checking the BOLO on the stolen pick-up Gibbs."

Gibbs sat back and watched the flurry of activity that suddenly surrounded him. He enjoyed the fact that his team rarely needed direction from him now concerning their jobs. They'd learned well. He just had to kick their butts into gear sometimes.

**NCIS**

Half an hour later, Gibbs got a phone call. "Yeah, Gibbs," he answered, not checking to see who it was.

"Jethro." Jenny's voice. She'd told him she was going to the doctor, could the test results be in so soon?

"Hey Jen," Gibbs said, not sure what to think.

"I need to see you at home right away."

Gibbs knew she wouldn't ask if it wasn't important, but he couldn't tell from her voice whether the news was good or bad, if either of those were even an option anymore.

"Fifteen minutes," he promised.

Activity in the bullpen stilled. Gibbs knew his team was more than capable of handling things without him for the couple of hours remaining in their workday, and they could pick things up again tomorrow. He looked at Tony and the senior field agent could tell by the look on his face.

"Jenny? I mean, the Director, right?" Gibbs nodded. "Go," Tony shrugged. "We're covered here." He didn't even get a smile, but Tony knew his boss appreciated him anticipating. It was a rule, after all.

When the doors closed behind Gibbs, the three agents remaining exchanged concerned glances. That was the second time in two weeks that Gibbs had left. He hadn't felt the need to do that in over a month. Without asking, Tony knew their bosses' behaviour was starting to freak all of them out. None of them wanted anything else to be wrong with Jenny, not after everything they'd already gone through.

Tony met Ziva's eyes and saw the concern. Gibbs and Jenny weren't just their bosses. They were friends, family, and right now things didn't look good.

**NCIS**

Gibbs got home as fast as he could without breaking land speed records or getting pulled over by any cops. He pulled into the driveway and hurried up the walk, trying to fight the dread pooling in his gut. Jenny was pacing anxiously in the hallway. When the door opened to reveal her husband, she walked over and flung her arms around his neck, holding the paper in one hand.

Gibbs was a little surprised, their touch had been pretty hesitant this week. But he held her close, glad to have her in his arms, even if the reason wasn't necessarily a good one. He wanted them to be able to work things out, somehow, but first he needed to hear the news.

At first Jenny was crying too much to get the words out and Gibbs' hand ran up and down her back in a comforting caress, fearing the worst. Finally she put her mouth right by her husband's ear. "It's yours Jethro."

Gibbs' body went completely still and he pulled back to look into her eyes. "What?"

Jenny laughed through the tears that were still falling. "The baby is yours."

Disbelief spread through him and Gibbs' loosened his grip on Jenny, trying to process her words, afraid to hope they were true. "You're sure?" he choked out finally.

Jenny smiled and showed him the paper, pointing to the results in black and white. "Look, it's right here. Mother - Jenny Gibbs. Father - Jethro Gibbs." Her eyes were shining with a joy Gibbs hadn't been sure he'd ever see again as she took his face in her hands. "We're having a baby Jethro. We're having a baby!"

At those words Gibbs crushed Jenny against his chest and buried his hands and face in her hair. "Our baby," he whispered, the news still feeling too good to be true.

"Yes, our baby," she repeated, holding her husband tightly.

Gibbs pulled away just far enough to kiss her, and the caress was so full of tenderness and love that Jenny cried a little bit more. He brushed the tears away, holding her close again, but not before Jenny saw the dampness in his eyes. She rested her head on Gibbs' shoulder, so thankful that this had been their answer. Now everything would change, but in a good way. A very, very good way.

As Gibbs rocked his wife and thought about the baby she carried, their baby, he looked up. If he wasn't sure God existed before, he was now. Because the news Jenny had just given him was such a miracle for them.

_A/N: Hey guys! I hope you've enjoyed the last two chapters and I'm sorry to say they're going to be the last for awhile. I'm taking a week off starting today and I won't be able to update again until the first Monday in May. Hope you can hold on until then. Thanks so much for all the reviews and alerts and awesome PMs I've been getting. You guys are amazing and I'm so thankful y'all are reading my story :) See you in May!_


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: Okay, I'm back! And you get it a day early because it's done :) Hope you enjoy. I'll probably still only be updating a couple times a week, but I hope you'll stick with me. Thanks so much for all the reviews and comments, you guys are awesome!_

Later that night while Jenny and Gibbs were in bed together, enjoying the peace of this night after the strain of the last week, Jenny looked up from her book and broached the subject on her mind.

"Should we tell the kids tomorrow?" she asked, practically glowing from happiness.

Gibbs kept the motion of his fingers constant on her palm, taking time to answer. Jenny looked at him sharply, her tone betraying the hurt. "Don't you want to tell them Jethro?" she asked quietly, now a little afraid of the answer.

He sighed. "Yeah, I want to tell them Jen." Forcing a smile for her, he tried to keep his worries to himself. "Heck, I'd be happy to tell the whole world, but..." he hesitated, not sure he had the right words to say what he was thinking. "You're not that far along Jen...maybe we should wait a bit longer," one shoulder shrugged, "you know...just in case."

Gibbs kept his eyes down and suddenly Jenny knew. He was afraid of losing this child too. Afraid to tell their family only to have them grieve the loss with them if the worst should happen. He'd dealt with the loss of too many important people in his life for it not to be a healthy fear concerning his own child.

"It will be hard not to give it away at work," Jenny said at last, thinking, trying to do what she knew was best for her husband.

Gibbs glanced at her sideways, relief at her understanding showing there. "We may have to wait more than just a little while Jenny. McGee took Ziva with him to look at rings a few weeks ago," he confided, enjoying the surprise in her eyes. "What do you think are the odds of us attending a wedding soon?"

"Define soon Jethro," Jenny requested, "we can only keep news like this hidden so long." She laid a protective hand over the place where their baby would soon make his or her presence known.

He gave her a look. "I'd be surprised if he waited much past New Years to ask her Jen. As for a wedding," Gibbs pursed his lips, "maybe a month after that?"

Jenny was doing the math in her head. "I'll be showing by then!" she protested. "We'll have to tell them before that happens or they'll figure it out on their own and be very disappointed to have been kept out of the loop." She shook her head. "No Jethro, all precautions aside I refuse to wait past Christmas to tell your team. Besides," Jenny smiled, "what better present could we give them than their very own Gibblet?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes. So Abby's comment had gotten back to her after all. He looked her up and down with a practiced eye, a slow grin spreading over his face. "I don't think you'll be that big Jen."

She swatted him. "Wrong time to be having fantasies of what I'll look like when I'm a whole lot more pregnant Jethro."

"Can't help it," he grinned, showing no remorse. "You're beautiful Jen." Gibbs leaned over and kissed her soundly. "And you'll only be more beautiful as your body changes to nurture and grow our baby."

Jenny bit her lip, looking down at her still flat abdomen. "You'll still love me, right? Even if I gain thirty pounds and go haywire with the hormones?"

Gibbs shook his head. "What kind of question is that Jen? Of course the answer is yes. I'll always love you. No matter what else changes, that never will."

Jenny snuggled up to her husbands' side, but in the back of her mind she was wondering how much she could trust that statement now. Would his answer still be the same if they were sitting here in bed, discussing a child that would never have the chance to live? Or one that she knew she couldn't keep? What would he have done if the test had come back negative? The small fear burrowed deep into her thoughts. As thrilled as Jenny was to be having her husband's baby, she needed to know what he would've said if she'd had to stick with her original decision.

**NCIS**

Gibbs opened his eyes the next morning to find Jenny's head resting on his chest like the last week hadn't happened. Her eyelids fluttered and she smiled when she saw him looking at her.

"Hi," Jenny said, still waking up.

Gibbs ran his thumb slowly up and down her arm. "It wasn't a dream, was it? The news you told me last night?"

Jenny understood his hesitation. Rolling over, she reached for the paper on her nightstand, letting out a sigh of relief as she read it again. Then she moved back to her husband's side, took his hand, and let it rest below her belly button. With the other hand she caressed his face and brought Gibbs' lips to hers.

"It wasn't a dream Jethro. It's our baby I'm pregnant with."

Gibbs looked down at both their hands on her stomach and pressed a kiss to her hair. "Say it again Jen," he requested, his voice rough with the emotion of it all.

"I love you."

He shook his head. "Not those words."

Jenny's eyes were shining. She loved telling him, loved that he wanted to keep hearing it. She would never get tired of saying them. "We're having a baby."

Gibbs took her face in his hands and gently touched her lips with his. Jenny leaned into him, deepening the kiss, running her tongue over his bottom lip. For several sweet moments they were lost in each other, unaware of anything else. Then the alarm went off and ruined everything.

Reluctantly Gibbs pulled back from his wife and rested his forehead against hers. "Do we have to go to work today?"

Jenny chuckled and brushed back his silver hair. "I'm afraid so."

"And you're going to be okay not telling anyone?" He wanted to make sure this wasn't something he was forcing on her.

She nodded slowly. "I understand why you want to wait, even if the last thing I want to think about now are the worst 'what ifs'. But," Jenny met his eyes, "I think we need to tell a few people now, the ones who've been waiting for good or bad news just like us." She counted them on her fingers. "Bill and Meredith, Rachel, Kristyn."

Gibbs cleared his throat and squeezed Jenny's hand. "Ducky."

Her eyebrows jumped up. "Ducky knows?"

Gibbs looked away. "He was one of the ones trying to make me see things from a different perspective."

Jenny bit her lip, feeling again the doubt from last night. But right now they were so happy about the news, and they were talking. She didn't want to get into it now. Some other time maybe. Gibbs was watching her so Jenny finished her list. "And Ducky."

"How do we tell them and not the others?" he asked.

Jenny thought about it a bit and shrugged. "One at a time I guess, here and there. I'll probably talk to Rachel today or tomorrow, I have my appointment with Kristyn on Wednesday, we can always have Bill and Meredith over for dinner on Sunday, and you can tell Ducky when you see him today."

Gibbs laced their fingers together. "Okay honey."

"Thank you," she smiled, kissing him quickly before getting out of bed. "I get the shower first."

Gibbs accepted that and got up too. Looked like it was his turn to make the coffee.

**NCIS**

Jenny undressed in a hurry, but paused when she caught a glimpse of her body in the mirror. Since last Monday nothing had changed, and yet everything had. Last time she'd stood in the bathroom looking at herself, she'd been trying to wrap her mind around being pregnant by rape.

Now when she ran gentle hands over her taut abdomen, Jenny smiled as she remembered the weekend away with her husband five weeks ago, and how gentle and patient he'd been for their first real time together after her kidnapping. Because of that it was their baby growing inside her, her baby. It always had been, but since she hadn't known, to Jenny the news was still fresh - a relief, a joy, a blessing.

Stepping into the steaming shower, Jenny started her usual routine of washing, doing her hair in two steps and her body in one. Once clean, she was almost ready to get out, but her eyes fell to her stomach again and Jenny watched the water run in rivulets down her body, imagining what it would look like in two months when she was showing a little bit, in five months when she could no longer hide her pregnancy, in eight months when she would be huge and ready to meet the baby who had grown inside her all that time. Thinking about their baby brought tears to Jenny's eyes and salt water mingled with fresh on her cheeks as she cried, fingers splayed over the place where her baby was, too small yet to feel.

"I'm sorry," she whispered over and over. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it baby, about wanting you to go away. Mommy was just scared."

The word slipped out before she'd thought about it and Jenny gasped. It hit her then that she was going to be a mom, that this baby was her responsibility, hers to care for. Suddenly she wished she knew what that meant, wished she knew what to do, wished her own mom could be here for this, to see her first grandchild born.

"Oh baby," Jenny whispered through her tears, knowing she'd have to come up with something else to call it soon, "Daddy and I love you very much." She knew it was the truth.

Before the results of the paternity test had come back, Jenny hadn't known what to feel for the child she carried. Resentment, frustration, and fear all warred within her during that long week while they waited for an answer. But as soon as she knew the baby in her womb belonged to her and Jethro, that it was something they had created out of love for each other, loving for the tiny baby inside her flooded Jenny, and she knew from that second on that she would do anything for her child. Funny, she hadn't even considered the baby to be hers until the test confirmed it was theirs.

**NCIS**

The team noticed the difference almost as soon as they got off the elevator on Tuesday morning. After Gibbs left early yesterday, they'd been prepared for the worst, but wishing they knew what that was. Instead Gibbs was seated at his desk, a coffee to his left, his attention on the paperwork in front of him, and unless it was a figment of their imagination, what looked like an almost smile on his face.

Tony and Ziva looked at each other, both unsure of what to think. McGee headed straight to his desk, glad to have some good news to tell Abby at lunch. She's be happy because Gibbs was, or seemed to be, even if she wasn't the only one who was still curious about the actual root of Jenny and Gibbs' attitudes over the last week.

"Good Morning Gibbs," Ziva said, setting her backpack beside her desk.

Gibbs looked up at her. "Ziva. DiNozzo."

Tony looked back at his partner, trying to get her to elaborate without actually saying it with words. Ziva just pretended not to understand and Tony glared at her and sighed.

"Hey Boss...uh, everything okay with...Jenny?" They tried to keep it to 'Director' at work, but occasionally her name just slipped out.

Gibbs set down his pen, keeping his happiness contained to his eyes and not his face. Without even a reprimand for being nosy, he nodded. "Yeah," he said finally, to their great relief and marginal surprise, "Jenny is fine."

That was it, but for now it was enough. Just then Jenny walked by on her way to do something that looked important. Tony was still standing. "Morning Director," he said, testing the waters.

Jenny slowed and smiled, which was already an improvement over last week, though her eyes were for Gibbs alone. The team watched as some secret message passed between the two and both parties tried to look like they didn't want to find the nearest elevator without an audience.

"Good Morning," she answered brightly, before turning back to her errand.

Gibbs' gaze watched her go and Tony grinned, wiggling his eyebrows at Ziva. "Looks like somebody made up."

Stalking by and heading for the elevator with his coffee, Gibbs whacked Tony in the back of the head. The senior field agent jumped.

"Ow. What was that for?"

"Mind your own business DiNozzo," Gibbs growled in typical, familiar Gibbs' fashion. And despite the fact that his scalp was still stinging from the headslap, Tony couldn't stop smiling.

Whatever had been wrong before clearly wasn't anymore, and he was very glad that everything was back to normal. Tony rubbed the back of his head and Ziva smirked. She didn't believe him, but he was sure the hair was thining back there. And he was too young to be going bald.

**NCIS**

"Ah Jethro," Ducky said automatically when Gibbs walked into Autopsy. "I'm afraid I don't have anything new for you. Abby is still running some tests and Mr. Palmer and I were just about to re-examine the body."

"Got a minute Duck?" Gibbs asked, staring heatedly at Jimmy.

The ME's assistant paled a shade and started edging towards the door. "I uh...I need to go check and make sure I locked the truck." He exited the room swiftly, trying to decide where he could hide until Gibbs left the room.

Ducky chuckled. "Must you always intimidate my assistant Jethro? I do need him in good working order, you know. His help is invaluable, most days anyways."

"Did I say anything?" Gibbs' eyebrows rose slowly.

The ME rolled his eyes. "No, you have always been better with non-verbal communication." He eyed his old friend for a moment. "Well, do I assume from the way you cleared the room that there is something on your mind you wish to discuss?"

Gibbs took a sip of his coffee. "You catch on quick Doctor."

Ducky seated himself at the small desk against the wall opposite the freezers. "Let's have it then, shall we?"

"Jenny's pregnant," Gibbs announced and Ducky frowned.

"Yes, I know. I thought we established that last week."

"We did," Gibbs said shortly. "But it's different now."

Ducky sighed, already confused. "And why is it different Jethro?"

Gibbs couldn't hide his smile this time. "Because it's ours."

"The baby?" Ducky's eyes widened and a cautious smile tried to claim his face.

"Yup," Gibbs nodded. "We're going to have a baby Duck."

Ducky stood up and reached for Gibbs's hand, but pulled him into a hug as well. "Congratulations my friend. I'm so happy for you." He looked into the man's eyes. "Are you happy about this Jethro?"

"Couldn't be happier," Gibbs replied.

"When are you telling the others?" Ducky asked, already preparing for Abby's reaction and imagining the looks that would be exchanged by Tony and Ziva, and how McGee would probably turn red just at the mention of a baby.

Gibbs frowned. "That's the sticky part Duck. I...we've decided to wait to tell the team, just until she's out of the danger zone."

The older man was thoughtful. "You're afraid she might miscarry?"

"She's been through a heck of a lot Ducky, and this week has been pretty stressful for both of us. I just want to be sure before we get everyone's hopes up."

"Before you get your hopes up, you mean," his friend corrected.

Gibbs looked away. "Maybe a little of that too."

Ducky clapped his friend on the shoulder. "Jennifer will be fine Jethro, and so will your baby. It's time to celebrate my good man!" He glanced upwards in the direction of Abby's lab. "I can't wait to see what Abigail says about that."

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Abby won't say anything, she'll be too busy shrieking and squeezing the life out of us." He smiled at Ducky. "Think you can keep the secret under wraps until Christmas?"

Ducky's grin grew. "Oh, what a wonderful present that will make. Yes Jethro, I shall keep this secret for you just like I kept the last, though I'm glad this one will not take as long to reveal."

"You and me both Duck," Gibbs said, finishing his coffee. "Gotta get back upstairs and keep an eye on the team. Too much time to think is dangerous for them. See ya later."

"Later," Ducky echoed, then walked to the other side of the room where the storage closet was. He opened the door and found a nervous looking Jimmy there. "Come on Mr. Palmer, there's work to be done."

Jimmy pushed his glasses up and glanced around the room, relieved to find it free of Special Agent Gibbs. "Yes Doctor," he answered, following his boss. Some days it was better to simply be invisible.


	12. Chapter 12

The phone rang in Jenny's office just before lunch.

"Director Shepard," she answered officially.

"Jenny, it's Dr. Marriott."

Jenny raised one eyebrow. "Two calls in two days? Are you stalking me Sarah?"

The doctor laughed. "Haha, very funny. I just wanted to say congratulations on your news, I'm assuming the results of the test were a cause for happiness?"

A smile slid over Jenny's face and her voice softened, her hand falling automatically to rest below her belly button. "Yes, it was wonderful news. Jethro and I couldn't be more pleased." Her smile faded somewhat. "It is certainly much better than the alternative."

"Of course," Dr. Marriott sympathized. "But now that we know what's going on, I'd really like to get you in for an appointment."

"What kind of appointment?" Jenny frowned.

"Just the usual, 'you're pregnant' stuff. An ultrasound to track how far along you are, information about diet and exercise during your pregnancy, getting you started on prenatal vitamins and such. All the basic stuff." Sarah paused. "I'm especially curious about the dating ultrasound. It's almost unheard of for a paternity test to get a result at only four weeks."

"I guess we're the exception?" Jenny asked.

"Yes," Sarah said slowly, still thinking. "Anyhow, the sooner the better. How's Thursday sound?"

Jenny flipped through the pages on her calendar. "Looks good for me. Maybe a late afternoon appointment? I'd really like Jethro to be there for all the firsts."

"Certainly," the doctor agreed. "How does 4:30 pm sound?"

"Perfect." Jenny scribbled a notation on the page, knowing Cynthia would check and update the information in her master schedule.

"Great. Well, I'll look forward to seeing you then."

"Alright Sarah, thanks for calling."

Jenny hung up the phone and looked at the note she'd written. On Thursday she'd get to see a picture of her baby. She could hardly wait.

**NCIS**

McGee walked quietly into the lab, being careful to make no noise whatsoever. His favourite, black-haired girl was standing in front of her computer with her arms crossed, presumably because it wasn't giving her the answer she was looking for. He didn't say anything, just put his hands on her shoulders and used his thumbs to rub them a little.

Abby jumped and spun around. "McGee! What are you doing here? Why didn't I hear the elevator? Did I miss anything else?"

Tim chuckled. "Calm down Abbs. I took the stairs. It's hard to surprise you when you know I'm coming."

She put one hand on her chest. "Well, warn me next time, will you? It's kind of creepy when some random person just comes up behind you and touches you." She raised an eyebrow at him. "How would you like it?"

He shrugged and gave her a half-grin. "I always like it when you're that close Abby. But you're more likely to put your hands over my eyes and make me guess."

It was hard to argue with his logic. Abby grinned. "You know me so well Tim." She looked around. "So, what's up?"

"Nothing. The case is wrapping up so we actually get to leave the building for lunch. Do you want to join me?"

"Count me in!" she agreed, looking around for her purse.

McGee tugged her towards the door. "My treat today Abbs."

Abby took the arm he offered and leaned into him as they walked towards the elevator. "You're spoiling me."

"Always a pleasure." He kissed the top of her head but Abby wasn't satisfied with just that.

When the elevator was between floors, she flipped the switch and wrapped her hands around the lapels of his jacket to bring him closer. Tim gladly obliged, holding Abby close as his lips sought hers. It was a long moment before they pulled apart, grinning, and realizing they better not hog the conference room for too long.

Once they were outside in the sunshine, Tim wrapped his fingers around Abby's hand. "Guess what?"

She gave him a mischievous look. "We're getting married?"

McGee rolled his eyes to hide how much he wished that were true. Any day now would be fine with him, but the ring had to come first. He was on pins and needles waiting to hear from Abram, hoping that it wouldn't take another five weeks before it was ready.

"Yes, we are, at some point in the not too distant future, I promise." He kept her close. "But that's not what I was talking about."

"Okay," Abby squeezed his hand. "So what then?"

Tim smiled at her. "Gibbs and Jenny made up."

Abby stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk. "Really? When?"

He shrugged. "Yesterday, I guess. They're all smiles and sharing those lovey-looks, as Tony calls them. So things must be okay now."

She started walking again and he was surprised that she didn't seem happier. "That's good news, really. I just wish..." Abby sighed.

"You wish what Abbs?"

"I just wish they'd told us what was wrong in the first place. I don't like being left in the dark. I don't like not knowing what's wrong."

"You know they'll talk to us when they're ready," Tim reminded her. "What matters is that things are okay for now."

The look on Abby's face was bordering on pouting. "But what about family Timmy?"

"Families need to know when to be patient too Abby."

She frowned for a second and then brightened. "How did you get so wise?"

"I don't always get it right Abby," he hastened to point out.

"Maybe not." Abby leaned closer and whispered into his ear. "But you get it right when it matters."

Having her so near, Tim couldn't resist leaning a little bit closer and kissing her gently. "I love you Abby."

"Forever and always Timmy," Abby agreed, and the happy pair continued on their way.

**NCIS**

Jenny counted the rings as she waited for her best friend to pick up the phone.

"Jenny!" Rachel squealed. "Oh, I haven't heard from you, I was worried! Did you know it's been almost a week? That is so unfair!"

"Hi to you too," Jenny laughed.

"Oh right," Rachel took a breath. "Hey Jen, how's it going?"

"No need to be patient Rach, I know you've probably been desperate to know how we're doing."

"Well, I was more wondering if my talk with Jethro had any effect."

Jenny smiled. "He got me flowers," she said softly.

"Did he say something nice?" Rachel wanted to know.

Thinking back to Saturday, Jenny remembered her message. "I got a card that said 'I love you' and 'I'm sorry', and a hug that said I'll be here no matter what." She shrugged. "It doesn't get much better than that. Thank you."

Rachel heaved a sigh. "Oh good. I was hoping it would be something like that. And you're welcome, of course. Sometimes it's my job to kick people's butts into gear when they can't do it themselves."

Jenny giggled. "As long as you can take the kind of help you dish out."

Rachel bit her lip and thought for a moment. "So how are things now?"

"We got the test results back." She could hear Rachel holding her breath.

"And?" she asked uncertainly.

"Rachel," Jenny said slowly, and took a deep breath, then she couldn't help but smile, "Jethro and I are going to have a baby!"

"Aaaah! Are you serious? Really? I mean, for sure?"

"Yes for sure," Jenny laughed. "Jethro is the father. The results were very clear about that."

"Are you happy Jen?" Rachel asked.

"I'm really happy Rach. I've wanted this for...so long."

"I know." Rachel was quiet for a moment. "You remember those days when we used to talk about boyfriends and husbands and babies?"

"I do."

"I'm glad you're getting your dreams. Everyone should get to have dreams come true."

Jenny listened to her friends words, detecting a hint of longing in them. "Your time is coming Rach, I have to believe that."

Rachel tried to keep her voice light. "Yeah, me too." She laughed. "God and I just have a difference of opinion on the timing."

Jenny smiled. Rachel was forever doing that, just dropping God into the conversation as if it was the most natural thing ever. She never censored herself around people who didn't share her faith, she just assumed people believed in God and if they didn't, she never thought the mention of Him would offend them. Jenny just accepted and embraced it as part of her best friend's personality.

"Hold onto that," she encouraged Rachel.

"Until I'm old and gray," her friend agreed. "So," Rachel changed subjects entirely. "When do I get to buy you some really cute, Winnie the Pooh baby clothes?"

So glad that Rachel was here, Jenny just laughed.

**NCIS**

At precisely one o'clock in the afternoon, the door to Jenny's office flew open and she looked up to see her husband walking in, carrying two take-out bags. She watched in amusement as he cleared her coffee table off and began to set up their meal.

Jenny went to her liquor cabinet to retrieve two glasses for the small cartons of milk he'd gotten, and opened the lids on various containers. There was fresh vegetables and dip, pasta salad, regular lettuce salad full of things like bean sprouts, shaved carrots, celery and cucumber pieces, as well as what looked like chicken noodle soup.

She chuckled looking over the buffet he'd brought. "Hungry Jethro?"

Gibbs shrugged. "I wasn't sure what you'd be feeling like."

Jenny looked over her choices carefully. "Soup and salad is good for me right now."

He nudged the appropriate containers in her direction and dug into the pasta salad with his fork.

After trying the soup and taking a sip of milk, Jenny smiled at her husband. "Thank you for lunch Jethro. It's very sweet."

Gibbs looked into her eyes. "You're eating for two now Jen, gotta take care of yourself."

Trying to decide whether there was a mild rebuke in his words or not, Jenny settled down to enjoy her lunch. After half the soup and several bites of salad, she was almost full. Gibbs' eyes flitted over what was left and she could almost feel the questions he wanted to ask.

Leaning over, she put a hand on his arm. "I am eating Jethro, but I can only handle so much at one time." Jenny smiled and kissed his cheek. "Stop worrying."

"It's my job," he mumbled, gulping down his milk and reaching for a napkin.

"And most of the time I love you for it," Jenny added.

His gaze swivelled to meet hers. "Only most of the time?"

Jenny laughed. "But I find it endearing all the time, I promise." She leaned back against the couch cushions, feeling drained though she'd barely done anything all day. "Did you talk to Ducky yet?"

"Yep. He's happy for us. Said he'd keep the secret, but he's glad it's only for a couple more weeks."

"Me too," Jenny added. "Although after the way we've been acting, I wouldn't be surprised if someone guesses before we get a chance to tell them."

Gibbs lifted his eyebrows. "Then you have to stop looking at me like you want to take me home."

Jenny's cheeks coloured and she looked away. "I didn't realize it was that obvious."

He leaned closer and dragged one finger slowly down her neck. "Not that I'm complaining mind you."

"Is that a fact?" Jenny made the small amount of space between them obsolete as she shifted and put her lips on his. When she pulled back, she grinned at him. "For the record, that look said 'I love you', not 'let's go upstairs'."

"Huh," Gibbs said, pulling her towards him and kissing her back. "You know, I always get those two mixed up."

Jenny wrapped her arms around his neck, content for the moment just to be held by him. "Liar," she smirked, whispering in his ear.

His arms tightened around her waist and he turned his face into her hair, breathing in the scent of her shampoo. "I love you too Jen. I love you too."

**NCIS**

When Jenny came out of the bathroom attached to her office an hour later, wiping her mouth with a damp cloth, she was very much wishing it was the end of the day, but very thankful too that she kept a spare toothbrush and tube of toothpaste at work. Settling at her desk, she reached for the sleeve of crackers and bottle of ginger-ale that she could only assume Gibbs had somehow smuggled into her desk drawer. She smiled. He was so cute when he was trying to help.

Looking over the stacks of folders on her desk, Jenny decided she needed something else to focus on for awhile. From her briefcase came the blue, soft covered, lined book Kristyn had given her weeks ago. The every day order of journalling had been mostly followed, though Jenny would admit to a small amount of catch up that had been required.

Opening to the most recent page, Jenny picked up her pen and made the date for yesterday.

_It's been a long few days as we waited and wondered, but the test results came back today. We're pregnant! Us, not just me. Jethro and I are going to have a baby, our baby, the baby I never thought we'd get, even after seven months when I never told him we were trying. _

_It's probably the best news to get at the worst time. I'm still healing, still recovering from the rape, and yet now there is a life that depends on me, a life that I am responsible to protect. Though I've only known the baby is mine for less than a day, I already love it._

Jenny tapped her pen on the page and frowned before continuing.

_I'm really going to have to come up with something else to call this baby. I hate saying 'it' all the time, and I don't want to get too attached to 'he' or 'she' until we know for sure. So for now I'll stick with 'little one' though I'm sure the kids will come up with something more creative when they find out._

_This little one is going to change our lives, change our marriage, change us as people. For so long Jethro and I have only had each other, now we have someone else too. But I'm looking forward to every moment. I can't remember the last time I was this happy._

Sitting back in her chair, Jenny read the entry again and smiled before adding one last line.

_Little one, I can't wait to meet you. But until then I just want to say: Welcome to the family! Love, Mommy._


	13. Chapter 13

Late Wednesday afternoon found Jenny sitting somewhere she'd sat so many times in the last two and a half months. Kristyn's office never changed, it was always comfortable, always as welcoming as it could be when few ventured there voluntarily.

Only days after her rape Jenny had come to this office for the first time, an emotional wreck and determined to hate the person putting her through what she deemed then to be the farthest thing from help. Two and a half months and eighteen sessions later, Jenny had learned to think of Dr. Renway's office as a safe haven. A place where she was challenged, pushed, and sometimes ordered to do what was necessary for her to heal.

Last week this had been the only place that held someone who was willing to listen with no condemnation and no pre-conceived opinions, just another woman who cared. This week Jenny was anxious for her session to begin, because for one of the few times since she'd started coming, she had good news to share with her therapist.

Kristyn met Jenny's eyes, compassion visible in the way she smiled. "So, Jenny, how are you today?"

Jenny was almost bursting with excitement. Having put on hold telling those people who were the most important to her, she relished sharing the news with those who were on "the list" she and Gibbs had compiled. She let her joy shine through her smile.

"I'm doing quite well actually," she confessed and Kristyn looked surprised.

"Are you? I'm glad to hear that. Is there any reason in particular that your outlook is so much brighter this week?"

"There is." Jenny looked down for a minute, then made eye contact with her doctor. "I'm going to have a baby."

Kristyn's expression was amusing for Jenny to watch as she tried to decide on the appropriate reaction to the news she'd already known. "I see. So you've made your decision then?" It was concerning her that Jenny's original desire to have the whole ordeal over and done with had suddenly transformed into the complete opposite.

"Well, actually it was made for me," Jenny tried to explain. Finally she just gave up trying to beat around the bush and blurted it out. "We got the results back from the paternity test. The baby is Jethro's."

A genuinely joyful smile appeared on Kristyn's face. "Oh Jenny, congratulations! I'm so happy for you. Was that what you were hoping for?"

Her happy expression faded. "To be honest, I only wanted to know for sure. I never expected the result to be anything different than what we already suspected and I never gave myself the chance to get my hopes up." She shrugged. "You probably will want to know that I had made my decision before I knew who the baby's father was. I did some research and decided I couldn't get an abortion, not after what had already happened. I was going to give the child up for adoption. But I'm so glad that's not necessary anymore."

"What did Mr. Gibbs think about your decision? From what I heard, he was very adamant about you keeping the baby."

Jenny's gaze dropped to her hands. "I didn't tell him," she said softly. "He wasn't really listening last week, and then by the time he was we got the results back and whatever was going on before no longer mattered."

There was something in Jenny's tone, in the way she refused to look directly at Kristyn, in her posture and her words that didn't sit right with the doctor. "Surely you want to know what Mr. Gibbs would've said?" she questioned.

It was clear from the look in her eyes that Jenny's next words were going to be a lie. She shook her head and forced a smile. "It doesn't matter. We're happy now. This is everything we've ever wanted. It's good news. Why bring up something that might just start another fight?" Her features hardened and she almost dared Kristyn to contradict her. "I've had enough of fighting with my husband in the last two months to last a lifetime. Everything is good now. I'm not about to mess that up."

Try as she might to convince herself of that, Dr. Renway could see Jenny's uncertainty, her desire to know the truth about her husband's reaction. But Kristyn knew her patient well enough now to see that it would do no good to try to talk more about the subject today.

Jenny would not be able to hide her feelings forever and the day they all became too much, Kristyn would bring them back to this session and the truths Jenny wasn't ready to face. For now they would focus on the good news she'd shared and worry about the rest later. There were only so many things the therapist could force, and making Jenny face a truth she wasn't ready to see was not one of those things.

"How's your journalling been going?" Kristyn asked and could see Jenny's relief at the topic change.

"It's going," she said lightly. "I try to find time every day, but sometimes I need to catch up later."

"Do you think it's helping at all?" the doctor wanted to know.

Reluctantly, Jenny nodded. "As opposed as I was to the idea at the beginning, I've come to see that journalling does have its benefits. A blank page can be a very good listener sometimes."

Kristyn smiled. "I'm glad you feel that way." She looked down at the notes she'd been meticulously keeping for each session with her red-haired patient. "Have you been eating this week?"

Jenny sighed and tried not to roll her eyes. "Yes Kristyn, I've been eating. Thanks to you and Dr. Marriott it seems that every important person in my life is now watching me like a hawk whenever it's meal time. Jethro brings food to my office at lunch and always tries to eat supper with me when he can. Ziva drops by in the morning with a muffin in case I didn't have time for breakfast, and Noemi continues to insist that breakfast is the most important meal of the day and practically refuses to let me leave the house unless I've at least tried whatever she's made."

She paused, thinking about the length those who cared about her went to as they tried to help. "Everyone on the team from Tony to Abby thinks it is now their duty to invite me out for lunch or just 'stop by' unannounced with something I just have to try. Rachel is the unofficial food Nazi and has taken it upon herself to drop by randomly during the week and, as inconspicuously as possible when she does not have skills at being subtle, inquire about my eating habits. Are you satisfied?"

While her patient's tirade made Kristyn want to laugh, she tried to resist. Food was still a bit of a touchy subject, though Jenny had improved significantly over the last four weeks. She tapped her pen against her notepad. "Are you eating properly?"

Jenny scowled and wanted to cross her arms, but she knew this was for her own good. She hated to idea of a food journal but Kristyn had almost been at the point of monitoring her food intake before Jenny had determined that she would try to fix this on her own first.

She sighed. "I'm at about half-portions. And right now, morning sickness is making me not want to eat anything." Jenny held up her hand before Kristyn could protest. "But I've been stuck with tea and toast most of the time and Jethro has been smuggling crackers and ginger-ale into my office. So we're covered for now."

"Are you drinking lots of water?" the therapist wanted to know.

"No more than usual I don't think, but I guess that's something to work on."

Kristyn loved that Jenny was starting to set her own goals and recognize what needed to be improved upon. She leaned forward, determined that this would be the last point she'd make on the matter for now. "I don't want to be a nag," she began and Jenny interrupted, arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

"But you're going to add your two cents' worth anyways?"

"Yes," Kristyn smiled. "We've been working on improving your eating habits for you, because you deserve to be healthy and because you need the nutrition." She paused. "And I realize that hasn't always made the effort worth it for you, but think on this over the next few days. Now it's not only you that needs that nutrition, it's not only you that deserves to be healthy. Jenny," she shook her head slowly, "if you won't take care of yourself for you, do it for your baby, because he or she deserves every chance you can give them."

The words hit Jenny hard and she sat back, frowning as she absorbed the truth they held. Looking up, Kristyn wasn't surprised to see her eyes were a bit watery and when she spoke, her voice was small. "I'll try," she said, and for now that was good enough.

**NCIS**

Over dinner that night, Gibbs looked up and smiled at his wife. "How'd it go with Kristyn today?"

Jenny kept her eyes focused on her plate, cutting everything into small pieces before she started eating. It made him wonder, but he'd accepted that some things she talked about in therapy she probably wasn't ready to share with him just yet.

"Good," she nodded, glancing up. "I told her about the baby, she's happy for us."

He could see that there was more but let Jenny keep the rest to herself for now. "That's almost everyone on our list," Gibbs observed.

Jenny's eyebrows arched in question. "Did you talk to Bill and Meredith yet?"

Gibbs shook his head, trying not to talk with his mouth full. He swallowed. "No, not yet." He frowned. "Haven't found time, I guess. It seems like everything has been pretty busy the last couple of days."

She smiled. "Well, there's been a lot happening."

There was a sadness in her eyes that Gibbs didn't understand. "Jenny?"

"Yes?" she asked, spearing peas on her fork.

He kept quiet until she looked up, needing to see her eyes for the question. "You're happy for us, right? About the baby?"

Jenny's face softened and she reached out to touch his hand. "Of course I am Jethro. This is what I've wanted. I've hoped for it, almost prayed for it some days. You know I wanted to be pregnant, that I wanted to give you a child." She frowned. "Why did you ask?"

He shrugged, not wanting to get into anything that would ruin they happiness they were still living off of after the results had come back. "You just seem quiet tonight. Is something bothering you?"

Falling back on the excuse that was most likely to be accepted, Jenny shook her head. "I'm just tired Jethro. I guess I should've caught a nap earlier, when I got home."

Gibbs' expression became one of concern. "Headache again?"

"Thankfully, no," she answered. "Don't worry. I'll be fine."

There was that 'f' word again. It didn't make Gibbs feel any better. Taking his plate over to the sink, he grabbed the portable phone and changed the subject.

"How about we call Bill and Merry now? Invite them for dinner on Sunday and we can take care of telling them the good news then?"

She laughed at him. "They're probably in the middle of eating Jethro."

Gibbs glanced pointedly at the clock. "Only we eat supper this late Jen."

"Oh," she checked the time and nodded. "Alright then, lets."

He dialed the familiar number and waited for someone to pick up. "Bill, it's Jethro. How are you?" Listening for a moment, Gibbs nodded. "We're good. Jenny and I were just wondering if you guys wanted to join us for dinner on Sunday, say around five?" He waited while Bill asked his wife, already certain of the answer.

"You are? Great. We'll see you then." Bill said something and he laughed. "Hang on a second." He covered the receiver. "What can Merry bring?"

Jenny shook her head, knowing better than to argue. Meredith never felt right coming over unless she brought something. "How about that jello dessert she makes? I'm pretty sure I ate about half of it last time."

Gibbs nodded in agreement and passed the message to Bill. "It's settled then. See you Sunday. Bye Bill." Hanging up the phone, he smiled. "All set."

Jenny's expression matched his. "I love this part Jethro."

"Me too." Gibbs rubbed her back. "Just wait until we tell this kids."

She stood up and leaned into her husband for a hug. "This is definitely going to be a Christmas to remember."

Gibbs held her tight. He sure hoped so.

**NCIS**

"Star Wars?" Ziva looked at Tony skeptically when he handed her the DVD case. "A movie about a war with stars?" She examined the picture closely. "And what are these pointy glowing sticks?" she asked.

Tony had to bite his tongue to keep from making fun of her lack of knowledge. "It's only one of the most popular film franchises ever Ziva," he explained. "George Lucas is a freaking genius." She didn't look convinced. "There's fighting, secrets, intrigue, and danger. What's not to like?"

Ziva pursed her lips and thought about it. "We are only watching one?" she asked.

Tony immediately looked away. "Well, there's actually sixofthem," he mumbled.

"How many?" She hadn't heard him.

"Oh, you know, just...six," he finished lamely.

Ziva crossed her arms. "If they explode, I am only watching one."

"If they explode?" Tony asked, completely confused.

"Did I say it wrong?"

He repeated the words in his head for a couple seconds before the light came on. "Oh, you mean if they bomb, right?"

She shrugged. "Whatever."

"You're going to love them Zi, seriously."

"Do you have popcorn?"

With that question, Tony knew she'd agreed. He made a face. "What kind of movie night host would I be if I didn't have popcorn?" he asked incredulously.

Ziva smiled. "Then I will watch it."

"Just give them a chance," Tony told her excitedly, jumping up to prepare their movie snacks. "These movies are awesome."

She leaned back on the couch and gave him a piercing look. "We shall see."

Tony smiled to himself as he listened to the kernels popping in the microwave. He was really glad that movie night was back as a tradition. He'd missed this. And without asking, he was pretty sure Ziva had too.


	14. Chapter 14

Sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office, Jenny was anxiously looking forward to when their names would be called. Gibbs sat in the chair beside her, holding her hand as she fidgeted. It seemed like neither one of them were gifted with patience today especially. At precisely 4:30 pm one of the nurses, Tammy, walked in holding a clipboard. Looking down at it, she checked the name and scanned the people occupying the chairs.

"Mr. and Mrs. Gibbs?"

Gibbs stood up, bringing Jenny with him. Tammy smiled and motioned that they should follow her. "This way."

Once settled in Exam Room #1, they didn't have to wait long before Dr. Marriott opened the door, smiling. "Hello Jenny, Mr. Gibbs. It's nice to see the two of you again, especially under these circumstances."

Jenny sat there beaming and Gibbs just squeezed her hand. No words were needed.

Sarah sat down on a stool across from them. "Jenny, because you are so early in your pregnancy, I want to try doing a vaginal ultrasound instead of a conventional one. Odds are that the baby is still too deep in your pelvis to get a good look at it with an abdominal ultrasound. And the vaginal ultrasound will give us a much clearer picture of your baby as well."

Not liking the sound of anything "vaginal", Jenny cut her eyes to Gibbs briefly before looking back at her doctor. "I'm not familiar with the vaginal ultrasound Sarah. How does it work exactly?"

Dr. Marriott opened a drawer in the cabinet behind her and pulled out several things. One was a long, narrow version of the traditional transducer they had used for Jenny's paternity test. Then a cover and a tube that looked familiar to the couple.

"This is the vaginal transducer Jenny," Sarah explained. "It's designed to fit comfortably in your vaginal. We put this cover on for protection along with lubricant to make sure everything goes smoothly. We don't have to put it in very deep and I promise it will in no way harm you or your baby." Looking at her patient's discomfort, she added one more thing. "I've had many women tell me it's actually more comfortable than the abdominal ultrasound. You don't have to deal with the full bladder issue. Not this time anyway," she smiled.

Gibbs eyed the piece of equipment warily and wondered if Jenny would want him in the room with her after all. There was a lot here that could bring up bad memories for her and having the vaginal ultrasound done sounded embarrassing enough on its own, without him being there watching. On the other hand, this was their first ultrasound, their first chance to see their baby, maybe even hear its heartbeat. He certainly didn't want to miss out on that part of the experience.

Jenny shifted a little on her chair, weighing the options. Finally she sighed. "Do what you have to do, I guess."

Sarah admired her open mindedness about the procedure. "I promise to make it as quick and painless as possible."

_Mmhmm..._ Jenny thought, already uncomfortable with what was coming. She looked at her husband and saw the conflict in his eyes. "Jethro?" she asked quietly, as the doctor began getting things ready to do the ultrasound.

Gibbs held her eyes. "You gonna be okay with this Jen?"

She shrugged. "It has to be done, right? And you're here." Jenny bit her lip. "You know best how to help if anything happens."

"So you want me to stay?" He raised one eyebrow at her.

Jenny frowned. "Of course. Why?"

He gestured towards what Dr. Marriott was doing. "This is a little bit different than the kind of ultrasound we were expecting."

Trailing her fingers down his cheek, Jenny smiled. "You're very sweet. But I want you here. This is our baby Jethro, I don't want you to miss it."

"Me neither," Gibbs grinned, kissing the palm of her hand as they turned to face her doctor.

"Okay Jenny," Sarah began, "why don't you take off your pants and come lay down. I've got a sheet here to cover you, so don't worry about being embarrassed."

Motioning at Gibbs with her eyes, Jenny managed to convince him to turn around while she undressed and got situated on the table. When he looked back at her, she held out her hand and Gibbs dragged a chair right beside the examining table so he could hold her hand and also see the monitor where the picture would appear.

"I'm going to talk you through this Jenny. Just take nice slow, deep breaths for me and talk to your husband if you need something else to focus on. This shouldn't cause you any pain but I know flashbacks are unpredictable so let me know if you need me to stop at any point."

Anticipating her need for something safe to focus on, Gibbs' hand was already fishing around in her pocket for the anchor. When he'd carved it for her over a month and a half ago now, he'd never imagined how important that little piece of wood could become. Now he knew instinctively when she needed it to hold and Gibbs caught the grateful look in Jenny's eyes when he slipped it into her other hand.

Tracing the edges and intricate lines on the little wooden anchor, Jenny counted her breaths and picked a point on the ceiling to focus on as Sarah began to slide the transducer into position. Her breath caught as it went in, but the doctor kept talking to her and was careful to go slow and be extra gentle in how she handled things.

A fuzzy, mostly grayish-white image appeared on the ultrasound monitor. In the center was a black circular shaped emptiness, except for the almost white little blob in the middle. Adjusting the position of the transducer a little and fiddling with the clarity, Dr. Marriott turned a joyful expression towards the Gibbs'.

"Look at that," she told them, "there's your baby." Running an experienced eye over the screen, Sarah began pointing out the baby's features. "The baby's head is still a little big and out of proportion to his body, but he's very much looking like a miniature human being now." She drew her finger slowly over the baby. "There's his little arms and legs. You can't see them yet, but his fingers and toes are all perfectly formed, and," she stopped, smiling. "Oh, how cute. He's rubbing his eye."

"He?" Gibbs asked, trying to see what the doctor saw on the screen. "Can you tell gender already?"

Sarah shook her head when she faced them. "No, sorry if that confused you. I usually just go with the generic 'he' or 'she' because I don't like saying 'it' all the time. We won't actually be able to determine sex until Jenny's about eighteen to twenty weeks along." She grinned. "This little one is still less than two inches long and even though he's moving, you won't be able to feel anything for a couple months yet."

Jenny stared at the fuzzy little baby shaped image and could feel tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. This was her baby, their baby. She squeezed her husband's hand and Gibbs leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"You okay?" he asked, watching her facial expressions.

She blinked slowly, looking back and forth from the picture on the ultrasound machine to his face. "I'm wonderful," she whispered. "That's our baby Jethro."

"Yeah," Gibbs said slowly, matching her smile, "ours."

Suddenly Dr. Marriott frowned as if she remembered something, and she squinted at the monitor. "That can't be right."

Jenny's heart leapt into her throat. "What?" _After all we've been through please don't tell me there's something wrong with our baby_, she thought, closing her eyes. Gibbs' grip on her hand tightened fractionally.

"What's wrong?" he asked tightly.

"Just a minute," Sarah muttered, no longer paying attention to her patient as she took measurements of the image and checked several different things on the machine.

Jenny held her breath as she waited, then realized she should probably be breathing. The baby depended on her for everything now, even oxygen. Letting a breath out slowly, she clutched the anchor and held tightly to her husband. Gibbs was nervous too, trying not to think about what might not be right as he sat beside his wife and kept his eyes fixed on the monitor showing their baby's picture.

Finally Sarah turned startled eyes to Jenny. "You're not five weeks pregnant Jenny."

All the colour drained out of Jenny's face. The paternity test came back positive for Jethro being the father, how could she not be five weeks pregnant? "What?" she managed, unable to look at Gibbs right now.

The doctor shook her head unbelievingly. "I just checked the measurements again. This baby is much too developed for five weeks." She saw the pain on Jenny's face and hastened to explain. "It's not bad, I promise you. It's just surprising. The paternity test was right, but you're eleven weeks along Jenny. You were pregnant before the kidnapping."

Dr. Marriott couldn't've surprised the couple more if she'd tried. Some of the dread left Jenny's heart but the implications still rattled her. All that time she'd been held in the bunker, all the times she'd been attacked, for the whole first month of her recovery when she could barely stand to have Jethro touch her...she'd been pregnant all that time?

For Sarah and for Gibbs, all the pieces began to fall into place. Jenny not being able to eat, the times she'd gotten sick, the emotional rollercoaster she'd been on the last month even as things started to get better, her headaches and sometimes constant fatigue, the way she'd complained about how foreign her body felt after her kidnapping. Everything made sense in light of this announcement.

At last Jenny made eye contact with her doctor again. "I don't...I don't know what to say...or feel." She frowned. "I can't believe it was before...everything."

Sarah slowly smiled. "If you thought this baby was a miracle after the paternity test, then it's doubly true now. All that trauma your body went through Jenny and you didn't miscarry - that's amazing. I think this baby is going to be someone pretty special."

Gibbs leaned his forehead against the side of Jenny's head, so thankful that even in the worst of circumstances, something beautiful had happened. "We're gonna be okay Jen," he whispered, kissing her temple, "all of us."

The doctor sat quietly in the background for several moments. When the couple seemed to have their emotions under control again, she put her fingers on a button. "Do you want to hear the heartbeat?"

The heartbeat. Jenny had forgotten about that part. She met her husband's eyes and they turned as one to nod. Pressing the button, Sarah was content to watch their reaction. A soft, fast whooshing sound filled the room and Gibbs' and Jenny's eyes met in astonishment, slow smiles creeping over their faces.

For Gibbs, the moment was bittersweet, the sound taking him back more than twenty years to when Shannon lay on a bed in a doctor's office, and they heard Kelly's heartbeat for the first time. That was when it became real for them, that they were having a baby. He experienced the same feeling today. Jenny had never heard a baby's heartbeat before and was surprised that it was so fast.

"Is that normal?" she asked Sarah. "It's really fast."

Sarah checked the reading and smiled. "Perfectly normal - 160 beats per minute. It's pretty amazing huh?"

"Yeah," was all Jenny could manage.

Finally they wrapped up the ultrasound and Dr. Marriott pressed a couple buttons before she removed the transducer from Jenny. "Just give me a second here and I will print you guys your first baby picture. No one else will have a clue what is what on it, but they'll swear up and down it's adorable just because it's yours," she chuckled.

Jenny and Gibbs were both imagining what it would be like to show their friends the picture, especially the team. Christmas was barely a week and a half away but keeping the news in that long was starting to make it feel like forever. Dr. Marriott left the room to get the picture and update Jenny's chart.

By the time she got back Jenny was dressed again and sitting cuddled up to her husband, who had his arm protectively around her shoulders. Sarah had to suppress a grin. Dads to be tended to get particularly protective and possessive of their wives once they'd seen and heard their baby for the first time. She guessed Jenny was in for an interesting pregnancy if Gibbs continued on this way.

Taking a seat on her stool, the doctor faced Jenny and Gibbs more seriously now. "The good news is that everything on the ultrasound is normal. Your baby is measuring a bit small for her age, but she should be able to catch up no problem."

"But you," she eyed Jenny, "are still giving me reason for concern. At your last check-up you still hadn't gained back the weight that you lost during the first month after your kidnapping. If it was just you, I would be concerned but not as worried. But you're pregnant Jenny and that baby is depending on your for nourishment so he or she can grow big and strong. I know it's hard, but you need to really focus on your eating this week, and I'll work with you to see what we can do to get you up to par."

Jenny looked away and bit her lip and Gibbs rubbed her shoulder reassuringly. He knew she'd take the guilt onto herself if their baby was in any way hurt by her eating habits over the last several weeks. Gibbs made a promise to himself and his child that he'd keep a closer eye on his wife and see what he could do to help too.

Sarah leaned forward and placed her hand over Jenny's. "Try not to feel guilty Jenny. I know you've had a hard time controlling your reactions to what happened. And maybe before you didn't have a reason to get back to your normal self. But now you do, and it's the most important reason."

She checked her notes. "I'm going to start you on prenatal vitamins right away and I want you to come back in a couple weeks so I can check your progress." Handing Jenny the prescription, the doctor added some advice. "Try not to take them on an empty stomach, because they will make your morning sickness worse."

"Great," Jenny rolled her eyes, trying to pull herself together. "One more thing to look forward to."

"Just think," Sarah smiled, "in roughly 29 weeks you will have a little baby to show for everything that pregnancy is going to put you through. I'm pretty sure it will be worth it."

Running her fingers absently over her stomach, Jenny thought so too.

**NCIS**

Gibbs took Jenny's hand again on the way out to the car as they left the medical building. "What are you thinking Jen?" She was being entirely too quiet for his liking.

Looking up, Jenny's expression brightened and she leaned into Gibbs' shoulder. "Wasn't that amazing, hearing the baby's heartbeat?"

"Yeah," Gibbs stared off into the distance. "It's something alright. I forgot-" he stopped short, not sure when, if ever, it was a good time to bring up his first family. Especially now that he had a reason to be wary of Jenny's pregnancy hormones.

Jenny watched his eyes and waited until he'd helped her into the car and gotten in himself. She touched his arm lightly. "You forgot what Jethro?"

Gibbs stroked her fingers, his gaze when he met her eyes begging her not to be bothered by what he was about to say. "I forgot what it was like, hearing their heartbeat for the first time. I remember when I got to hear Kelly's. I was being deployed the next day and so upset that I was going to miss the first few months of Shannon's pregnancy. She was disappointed too, but when we sat in that room and heard her heartbeat, when it became real to us that we were having a baby..." he shrugged. "There was nothing else to say. It was a gift, plain and simple, and I cherished every moment I was around while she was pregnant."

Jenny stayed quiet while Gibbs' reminisced. When he finished, she leaned over and kissed him. "I'm glad you were here Jethro." It was hard for her to hear about his first wife and child, but she loved him, which meant she accepted his past too.

Shannon and Kelly would always be a huge part of his heart and with the coming months of her own pregnancy looming before them, Jenny knew Gibbs' memories were something she needed to not only get used to, but embrace and encourage. Because her husband had spent far too many years not talking about his family. Maybe now it was time to start.

**NCIS**

Later that night Jenny sat at the kitchen table, journal opened and pen in hand as she prepared to do her mandatory entry for the day. But instead of simply starting to write, Jenny turned back to the first page of the blue book and paged slowly through each entry she'd made since the day Kristyn had given her the journal.

The original entries had been a lot of catching up, as well as trying to incorporate in the daily things Kristyn had wanted her to get out of her head and of her chest. Some sections Jenny skipped entirely, not wanting to read what she'd been thinking about the ordeal she was still trying desperately to put behind her. Others she read again carefully, glad to see the slow progress she'd made since they were written.

Finally Jenny turned back to today's page, where a copy of the little black and white ultrasound picture was securely taped. As her fingers traced over her baby's fuzzy features, a declaration formed in Jenny's mind and she picked up her pen to write it down before she could change her mind.

In clear printing under the picture, Jenny wrote these words:

_Today was our first meeting little one. I got to see you for the first time, so tiny and protected deep inside my body. But Dr. Sarah told us all about you and what you were doing, and I guess it was time for a nap because you were rubbing your eyes. You're so small right now that I can't feel when you're moving, but I'm excited for the first time that happens._

She smiled in remembrance as the look on Gibbs' face came back to her.

_I think your daddy almost cried when he saw you today, and when we got to hear your heartbeat. When you meet him, you'll understand why that is such a big deal. Your little heart was beating so fast and strong, but Dr. Sarah said that was normal and we were so glad._

_Anyways, after we got to see you, Dr. Sarah had to talk to us a little. Mommy hasn't been taking care of herself very well for...a long time. I was starting to get better, but not fast enough. But I found out today that I've had you inside me a lot longer than I thought, and now it's really important for you that I start doing what my doctor and Daddy have been trying to get me to do since October._

Jenny paused for a moment, preparing for the words that would seal her promise to her baby.

_For you, little one, I promise that I'm going to start taking care of myself. I'm going to eat more, exercise, sleep, and do my best to stay healthy so that you will be healthy too. It's only been four days baby, but I love you so much already and it's my job to take care of you, so that is what I promise to do. Love, Mommy._

Ending the entry there, Jenny put down her pen and closed the book. Gibbs never interrupted her when she was writing in her journal, and even though she had shared a few of the things that she'd written, it was still mostly for her, and he respected the time she needed to put her thoughts down on paper.

Smiling faintly, Jenny got up to put the journal back in her briefcase. Her husband really was an amazing man, she was so blessed to have him, especially the way he'd been over the last two months. Just about to go and tell him how much she appreciated him, Jenny was interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell.

Frowning, she called to her husband who had disappeared to do something upstairs. "I'll get it."

Jenny opened the door to find Rachel standing there grinning at her. "Hi Jen!" Rachel said jubilantly as she wrapped her arms around her friend for a hug similar to Abby's.

Laughing, Jenny hugged Rachel back, then stepped back to invite her in. "To what do we owe this visit Rach?" she asked, curious.

Rachel propped one hand on her hip and gave Jenny a look. "What, now I need a reason to drop by and see my best friend? And her charming husband," the woman added, smiling at Gibbs as he joined them downstairs.

Standing still for the mandatory hug, Gibbs eyed the bags at Rachel's feet. "Is it somebody's birthday?"

Rachel's expression wavered. "No, not exactly. But I saw these today, and I just couldn't resist."

Jenny's eyebrows lifted. "That sounds ominous." Her best friend rarely did the predictable.

"Well, can we at least sit down somewhere?" Rachel hedged.

The group moved into the livingroom and Rachel plopped down beside Jenny. Out of the bag came one of the cutest baby outfits Jenny had ever seen.

Rachel held it up and grinned. "Well? What do you think?"

It was a bright, colourful sleeper, with trees and blue sky in the background, and a very blue Eeyore the donkey from the Winnie the Pooh stories in the front, staring at his reflection in a pool of water. The words on the back read, _"Looks like rain if you ask me...but no one ever does."_

Jenny laughed. "Oh Rach! It's adorable." She rolled her eyes at her friend. "When you said you were buying me baby clothes, I didn't think you meant immediately. I only told you a couple days ago."

Rachel shrugged and smiled a little sheepishly. "I know, but it's Eeyore, right? How can you not love it? Plus, it came with this adorable hat." She pulled the little yellow hat with Winnie the Pooh ears on it out of the bag and Jenny just shook her head.

"Only you Rach." Then she leaned over and hugged her friend. "But I love you for it. Thank you."

"My pleasure Jen," Rachel grinned.

Gibbs reached over and fingered the foot of the sleeper. "Always forget how small these are," he said quietly and Jenny put her hand on his knee. Rachel didn't know Gibbs' story yet, and she'd left it up to him whether he wanted to tell her. So far he'd kept it just between them and the team, though Bill and Meredith knew because they were friends from before.

Glancing at her husband, Jenny got up and went to get the piece of paper from her purse. Approaching Rachel, she held it out. "So, do you want to see a picture?" She almost added more, but realized just in time that she and Gibbs needed to talk about some things before she just made an assumption about how certain things were going to work out.

Rachel squealed. "Yes! Are you kidding me?" She reached eagerly for the ultrasound picture and stared at is fondly for a moment. "So that's your baby huh?" Jenny nodded and Gibbs waited to see if Dr. Marriott was right. "Well," Rachel shrugged, "I have no idea what I'm looking at, but I'm sure it's adorable."

Both Gibbs and Jenny started laughing and Rachel just ignored them, staring at the picture and trying to discern recognizable features. Finally Jenny took pity on her and began explaining what there was to see, copying what Sarah had told them earlier. Gibbs just sat back contentedly on the couch and watched his wife talk about their baby. This moment was worth everything.


	15. Chapter 15

McGee woke to the taste of his girlfriend's favourite lipgloss, convinced for a moment that he was still lost in dreams. Then his eyes opened and he saw Abby's face too close to focus on, and jerked away in surprise. Abby stayed where she was under the covers, smiling contentedly and McGee tried desperately to remember what they were doing last night. He thought hard but didn't even remember seeing Abby after they left work. Finally he gave up and asked.

"Abby..." he said slowly, "what are you doing in my bed?"

She shrugged and smiled. "Just hanging out."

Frowning, because that was not the answer he was looking for, Tim looked down his body, checking to make sure he still had his pyjamas. Abby's body was covered by the blankets, he couldn't tell what she was wearing, if anything. He didn't know how to phrase what he was thinking.

"Did we umm...last night I mean...Abby?" McGee tried, but the words all came out wrong.

Abby finally took pity on him and giggled. "Calm down Timmy." She jumped out of the bed to show him she was fully dressed and ready for work.

Tim breathed a sigh of relief, then glared at her. "That was mean."

"You're really funny when you don't know what to say McGee," she giggled. Then she looked at him with raised eyebrows. "I'd almost think you don't want to sleep with me," Abby stated, unsure now.

Not wanting her to start thinking like that, Tim moved quickly around the bed and pulled her tightly into his arms, breathing heavily as he whispered in her ear, "Nothing could be further from the truth Abbs."

She eyed him dubiously, needing the reassurance. They'd never done things slow before and it wasn't as easy as it sounded, especially when she knew what it was like to really be with him. "You're sure?"

Pulling back, Tim gazed so tenderly into her eyes that Abby wanted to melt. "Positive babe. I'm counting down the days until I get to fall asleep with you in my bed and in my arms every single night for the rest of our lives. Don't ever doubt that I want to be with you Abby, please."

He looked far too serious so Abby grinned at him and leaned up to kiss him on the lips. "I love you," she said softly.

McGee framed her face with his hands, holding her gaze. "I love you too. Are we good?" He didn't want any misunderstandings getting between them.

Abby wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "We're perfect."

McGee started smiling. "Well, that's a start." He surveyed her attire, glanced back at the bed, and raised one eyebrow. "Not to make this sound bad, I'm just curious...why were you in my bed when I woke up?"

"Because it's cozy," she stated as if the answer should be obvious. "And I was practicing for when we get married. Got to get used to sleeping somewhere other than my coffin."

"How long have you been here?" Tim still wasn't completely clear on how this all happened.

"I got up early this morning and came over to walk Jethro." The German Shepherd padded into the room when he heard his name and Abby knelt beside him, rubbing his ears as the dog sighed happily. "I've been missing my sweet puppy lately," she said, kissing him on the head.

Tim got out of bed and started pulling the covers straight. "Breaking and entering now Abbs?"

Abby rolled her eyes. "It isn't called breaking in when I have a key McGee." She dangled her skull and crossbones keychain in front of him.

"Fair enough," he agreed. "Have you had breakfast?"

"A muffin."

"That's not breakfast," McGee protested. "What do you feel like? I could make something."

Abby considered his offer as she added pillows to the now made bed. "French toast?"

"On it," he smiled, heading for the kitchen.

"Planning to get dressed before you go to work Timmy?" she asked in amusement, pointing at his MIT t-shirt and plaid boxer shorts.

"Oh, right," McGee laughed self-consciously. "Clothes would be good." He walked into his closet and then looked back at her. "I'll umm...meet you in the kitchen, okay? Make yourself at home. There's chocolate milk in the fridge."

At that news Abby gave a delighted squeal and rushed to the other room, calling for Jethro to follow her. McGee watched his girlfriend go and shook his head. Life with Abby would never be predictable. His eyes caught a glimpse of the calendar on his wall. Four more weeks and then they could look forward to waking up together every morning. Tim smiled. Abby was so worth waiting for.

**NCIS**

When Gibbs woke up expecting to see Jenny laying right beside him, he was surprised to find his wife missing from their bed. Checking the clock, he confirmed that they hadn't slept through their alarm, so where was she? The bathroom door was wide open, no Jenny. Frowning, Gibbs left their room and started looking.

He needn't have worried, she wasn't far away. Gibbs found her in the spare room, standing at the dresser beside the door, holding one of the new baby outfits that Rachel had brought over last night. Coming up behind her quietly, Gibbs put his hands on her shoulders, felt her tense momentarily, but was glad to see the smile she had ready for him when she turned slightly to see him. He'd forgotten that he wasn't supposed to surprise her.

"Morning," Gibbs offered.

"Hi," Jenny said softly, her eyes drawn back to the baby clothes. She leaned back against Gibbs' chest. "They're so tiny. I can't imagine a person could actually being small enough to fit in these."

Gibbs chuckled. "I have a feeling you won't be saying that when you're in labour and trying to push that 'tiny' baby out."

Jenny grimaced, not wanting to think about that part yet. She still couldn't get over the fact that she was pregnant, let alone going to have to deliver that child several months down the road. She'd seen their baby on the ultrasound and heard the heartbeat, but until she felt it move, or started showing, Jenny knew she'd have a hard time believing that all of this was real.

"There's so much we need to talk about, so much we need to decide."

"Like what?" Gibbs asked, content to stand there with her, massaging her shoulders.

Jenny bit her lip. "I almost blurted out last night that Rachel would be the baby's godmother. I can't think of anyone I'd rather give that honour to. But I'm sure you must have someone in mind?" She paused for a moment. "Who were Kelly's godparents?"

"Bill and Merry," Gibbs sighed, remembering. "They'd been married seven years, Shannon and I were only at two when Kelly was born. Meredith had already suffered one miscarriage, we wanted to share our joy by letting her have a baby in her life." He smiled fondly. "They doted on Kelly and she loved them back. It was like losing their own when she was killed."

Jenny nodded slowly. "I can't imagine what they went through, losing those babies. Merry told me, about Cassie."

"That was a rough year for them," Gibbs nodded. "I'd never seen Bill so angry - at life, at the world, at anyone who tried to tell him it would be okay. But he and Merry managed to get through it together, I still don't know how they did it."

"Is it against the rules to have three?" Jenny asked.

"Three?" Gibbs was a little confused.

"Godparents," Jenny clarified. "Maybe we could set it up so that, if anything happened to us, Bill and Meredith would be the ones to raise our child, but Rachel would still get to be a part of the baby's life." She shrugged. "If you were thinking to ask them again."

Gibbs wrapped his arms around her waist and held her. "I'd like that Jen. We'd have to ask them if they even want to, I know having a baby around might bring up memories of Cassie, but I can't think of anyone I'd trust more. Though," he tightened his hold, "I don't like to think of something happening to you."

"To either of us." Jenny turned in his arms and put her hand on his face. "I want to watch our baby grow up Jethro, but you get shot at on a daily basis and I'm a high profile target. I just need to know that we've made arrangements, just in case."

Lowering his mouth to hers, Gibbs kissed Jenny slowly. "Okay, we'll ask." Pulling back, he smiled a little. "Do you know what today is?"

Jenny lifted one eyebrow. "Friday?"

He looked mildly offended. "Friday the fourteenth."

"Oh," Jenny smiled innocently, "is that something important?"

"Jen!" Gibbs frowned. "It's our nine month anniversary! And I get accused of forgetting the important things," he muttered under his breath.

Jenny laughed and kissed him. "I'm just teasing, I know what day it is. Can you believe it's been nine months already? So much has happened!"

They both avoided mentioning the event that had tested them the most and Gibbs slid his hand down to rest on Jenny's stomach over her pyjamas. He couldn't feel any difference yet, even with Jenny being almost at twelve weeks. Her skin was still smooth, the muscles still flat, no roundness beginning to show that she carried their baby in her womb.

"Nine months, that number sounds pretty significant now, huh?" he said into her hair.

"Hmm...we're down to almost six now though. It's going to seem like forever." She met her husband's eyes. "Do you want a boy or a girl?"

Gibbs smiled. "Doesn't matter what I want, I'm pretty sure that part is already decided."

"Humour me Jethro," Jenny's eyes flashed. "If you got to choose, which one would you pick?"

He slid his fingers into her hair, teasing the silky strands. "I want our baby to be healthy Jen, I can't choose between the two. I've had a little girl, I've known that joy. But then I remember having Zach for that one night, talking and working on the boat together." Gibbs shrugged. "I'll be happy either way. I never thought I'd be a father again, there's nothing that can take that joy away." He eyed his wife. "What about you?"

Jenny kept her eyes focused on his chest as she traced the letters on his shirt. "I don't know how to be a mom," she said slowly. "It's been so long since I had one, I don't even know where to start. I was thinking I'd like a little girl," she smiled up at him. "My hair and your blue eyes. But that's just a dream."

"I've had that dream Jen," Gibbs whispered, kissing her temple and hugging her. "We may get it yet."

They stood comfortably together in the spare room until Jenny caught sight of the time. "We're late," she said, quickly pulling away from him.

Gibbs tugged her back to him, wanting to hold her just a moment more. "Us is never a waste of time," he said into her ear.

Jenny's expression softened and she leaned in to kiss him. "I love you Jethro." She smiled. "Even if you do make me late for work."

"Worth it though, don't you think?" he asked hopefully.

A grin spread slowly across her face and Jenny shrugged. "I'm not sure, you might have to show me again."

And Gibbs did, gladly.

**NCIS**

Friday night saw them at Gibbs' house, now that they were finally back in the routine of switching houses every other weekend. They stayed up late watching a mystery movie on TV, and though Jenny wasn't easily frightened, she got considerably creeped out on occasion. Gibbs enjoyed the chance to be her shield in the darkness of his livingroom, while he held her on the couch.

When Saturday morning came, Jenny opened her eyes with a smile to see Gibbs staring at her, something more than just 'I'm glad you're here' in his eyes. Raising one eyebrow, Jenny considered the offer he was making without using any words. Finally she made the first move, putting her lips on his and threading her fingers through his hair.

Gibbs responded instantly, pulling her tightly against him as he deepened the kiss, exploring her mouth with his tongue, as his hands slid down her skin, touching and claiming every inch. Months ago, though sometimes it seemed like years, this was what their Saturday mornings looked like - Jenny and Gibbs in bed, making out, making love, enjoying the chance to be alone together, doing whatever brought pleasure and enjoying every minute. Much of that had changed since Jenny's kidnapping, but just like with everything else, they were slowly working their way back to a physical relationship as well.

It seemed like the morning hours flew by, but the couple who lay in bed together, enjoying the chance to share their bodies now when it didn't happen as frequently as it used to, hardly even noticed time passing. They spent half the day without leaving their bed, without even leaving their room. Afterwards they took a short nap, now on opposite sides of the bed, and then woke up and shared the shower without a second thought.

Finally, at a time they would never share with anyone else, they finally made it downstairs and indulged in breakfast even though it was long past lunch. With few words, they stared at each other over their plates, languidly drawing fingers over whatever skin was reachable, and occasionally concentrating on their food enough to eat.

Surprisingly enough, the two actually did dishes after their meal, and then Jenny willingly took her husband's hand and followed him downstairs to where his half-finished boat was. Grabbing a sanding block from the workbench, she picked a section that looked new and began the familiar back and forth motion that Gibbs had showed her for the first time many years ago.

Gibbs had work to do on the far side of the boat, but watching his gorgeous red-haired wife standing across from him making careful strokes against the rough wood was bad for his concentration. Trying to do it without being noticed, he inched his way around the boat until he stood behind her, his hands moving to cover hers.

Jenny laughed, and the sound was joyful and carefree, something Gibbs had truly missed in the last several weeks of stress and healing and all the unknowns. They stayed that way for awhile, working on the boat together, but the actual work part didn't last as long as it could have. Instead Jenny turned in her husband's arms, the look in her eyes playful and inviting. She didn't have to ask him twice.

Before Jenny could blink Gibbs' lips had taken control of hers, his hands were suddenly buried in her loose hair, his body pinning her against the boat. A month and a half ago the feeling of being trapped would have caused her to panic. Now she only had a fleeting moment of unease before she lost herself in the sensations her husband evoked.

Gibbs, in turn, cherished every moment of that long, lazy Saturday. It had been everything that before used to be, but with a gratefulness he'd never known previously. He'd learned many lessons about not taking time with people he loved, especially Jenny, for granted, but the event that transpired at the beginning of October and everything that followed had carved that lesson deeply into his soul. He never wanted to lose another second, because he'd discovered how precious those seconds could be and how fast they could be gone.

And if possible, Gibbs was sure he loved his wife more now than he ever had before. He couldn't wait to see her pregnant, to watch her body change as their baby grew inside her. He couldn't wait for that glow that all new mothers got, and the look on her face when she felt the first kick. He couldn't wait until the baby was big enough that he could feel the movements as well, and wait with Jenny in anticipation of their child's birth.

But most of all he couldn't wait to see Jenny hold their baby for the first time, to see the joy in her eyes as she looked into the face of the living bundle of love they'd created together. It was worth waiting for and it was a scene Gibbs knew he'd never forget. Six months from now it wouldn't be only love that bound them together, but a brand new little life that would be theirs to treasure, care for, and hold dear all the days of their lives.


	16. Chapter 16

On Sunday Gibbs and Jenny joined Abby for church as usual and enjoyed their traditional lunch at the diner afterwards. The difference this week was that McGee sat on Abby's other side, holding her hand through the service and under the table all during their meal.

Jenny had to elbow her husband occasionally, because even though he'd given his blessing for their relationship, that didn't stop Gibbs from shooting dark looks at McGee whenever he thought no one else was looking. On Sundays he was less Team Leader Gibbs and more Papa Bear. And as McGee squirmed uncomfortably next to his girlfriend and Gibbs tried to stay out of Jenny's reach, the women at the table exchanged rolling eye looks that clearly said, _Men!_

It was the middle of December now and snow was starting to pile up outside. Gibbs announced that he was going to shovel the lane when they got home and Jenny agreed, dressing to join him even as he tried to protest. She crossed her arms and shot her husband a fiery look.

"Jethro, if you start trying to coddle me I swear you will not be touching me for weeks!"

Feeling the force of her glare and recognizing the seriousness of the threat, Gibbs backed off and they worked on clearing the lane and front walk together. As revenge for being told, Gibbs slipped a handful of snow down Jenny's neck when she wasn't looking, then ran away, realizing that vengeance would be swift.

He was right. Quick as lightning Jenny was after him, chasing Gibbs around the yard until she got close enough to return the favour, laughing while he shivered. Gibbs called a truce right there and took Jenny's hand to follow her back inside. She leaned against him as they walked back to the house, letting her head rest on his shoulder.

Back indoors, Gibbs started a fire in the livingroom and they cuddled on the couch together as their bodies slowly warmed back up. Eventually Gibbs felt Jenny's body relax and he looked down to find her asleep against his shoulder. Glancing at the clock, he tried to gauge how much time they had before supper needed to get started. Touching her face gently, Gibbs figured he could give her twenty minutes to take a nap before he had to wake her up. Besides, he just loved to watch her. Jenny was so beautiful when she slept.

**NCIS**

Distantly, Jenny realized someone was shaking her gently, but she really didn't want to acknowledge whoever it was. Finally though, the voice and hands became insistent and she frowned as she came fully awake. Opening her eyes, Jenny looked up to see her husband.

"Jethro?" she asked before realizing they were still on the couch. "Ohh..." she groaned, stretching, "I fell asleep."

Jenny sat up and Gibbs chuckled. "You're not the only one. Guess we didn't get enough sleep last night."

Her eyes found the clock and she stood up quickly. "Four o'clock? How can it be four o'clock?" She ran a hand agitatedly through her tangled hair. "Bill and Meredith will be here in an hour and we haven't even started supper! Why didn't you wake me?"

Gibbs shrugged innocently. "I meant to Jen, really. I only closed my eyes for a second. But the next thing I knew, it was now."

Thinking through the meager list of recipes Jenny was confident about being able to make, she picked her favourite. "Chicken alfredo?" she asked her husband.

Gibbs got up and nodded. "Sounds good to me." He followed her into the kitchen, watching as she started getting things out to make the meal.

"Can you do the salad?" Jenny asked, half in and half out of the refrigerator.

His eyebrows rose and he crossed his arms indignantly. "What? You don't trust me with chicken, pasta, or sauce?"

Setting the last of the ingredients on the counter, Jenny walked over to her husband and laid one hand on his chest. "Jethro, I love you," she smiled, shaking her head slightly. "But you cannot multi-task and these people are our friends. Dinner needs to be edible."

Gibbs pouted until she kissed him, then relented. "Let me guess," he sighed, "there's going to be vegetables in this salad."

Jenny laughed lightly. "Yes Jethro. As always, the vegetables are mandatory."

Rolling his eyes, Gibbs reached into the cupboard above the fridge where Jenny kept her salad bowls. Jenny smiled and got out pots and a frying pan for the noodles, sauce, and chicken that would comprise their meal. It usually took forty minutes to make this particular dish, so Jenny kept an eye on everything and when Gibbs finished the salad, she asked him to set the table too.

At twenty minutes to five, Jenny had diced the now cooked chicken and added it to the sauce, drained and covered the noddles, and gotten out her favourite, brightly coloured serving dish. Glancing at the clock she sighed, knowing Gibbs would have to be in charge of one thing while she went to get ready. She was not currently presentable to greet company.

"Jethro!" she called, and he walked into the kitchen wearing dark jeans and a wine coloured dress shirt. Her eyebrows lifted and she looked him up and down. "Well, don't you clean up nice?" For the look she got a kiss and Jenny fixed Gibbs' collar as she pulled back. "You're looking awfully handsome tonight Jethro."

Gibbs grinned at her, suggestion clear in his tone. "Does that mean I get lucky later?"

Jenny smacked his chest lightly and took a step back. "Stop." She smirked at him. "I seem to remember you got lucky an awful lot yesterday."

Gibbs eyed her lazily and shrugged. "I'm allowed to hope for a repeat."

She trailed a finger down his cheek. "Mmhmm." Changing the subject, Jenny glanced at the stove over her shoulder. "The sauce is just simmering now. When you see bubbles, please stir it and take it off the heat. I'm going to get changed."

Jenny headed for the stairs and Gibbs looked after her, enjoying the view.

**NCIS**

Upstairs in the bathroom Jenny surveyed her mildly disheveled appearance and sighed. Undressing swiftly, she let her clothes fall to the floor and stepped out of them, sparing not even a glance at her body. Always on the skinny side, the weight she lost over her first month of recovering made Jenny look too thin without clothes on. That would change in the months that were coming though, she was sure.

And thankfully, the only marks on her body that still lingered from the time she'd been held captive were the scars on her wrists from when she'd struggled to get free of the ropes the man used to tie her to the bed. And those marks Jenny didn't begrudge, because every time she lamented their existence, Gibbs would take her hands in his and kiss the scars.

He told her over and over that they reminded him never to take any time with her for granted. It had taken many weeks, but Jenny was slowly learning to look at them as her own permanent reminder to cherish time spent with the people she loved. Life could change in the blink of an eye and she didn't want any regrets this time.

Walking into the bedroom in just her bra and underwear, Jenny stood in front of the closet and surveyed her choices. Wishing Rachel was here to help, because she could make anyone look stunning just by the combinations she suggested, Jenny finally managed to choose an outfit.

A long sleeved, dark yellow top with a shallow v-neck, her favourite stone-washed jeans, a pair of black flats, and a beautiful blue scarf with white, pink, and gold threads woven through it - a gift Rachel had brought her back from Mexico several years ago - was the basis for the look.

With dangly silver earrings, the heart necklace Gibbs had surprised her with for their six-month anniversary in September, and the bracelet that had come with their weekend away at the end of October, Jenny not only felt pretty, but she approved of the image she saw in the mirror.

Not satisfied with how her hair looked down right now, Jenny ran a brush through it quickly and twisted it up in a loose bun on top of her head. She secured the red mass with bobby pins and pulled a few strands free to frame her face. Dusting on a faint sheen of blush, some eyeshadow, and a few swipes of mascara, Jenny dabbed some shimmery lipgloss on and smiled into the mirror.

She was just on her way downstairs when the doorbell rang. Gibbs stopped halfway to the door and stared at her. "Wow," he said softly, taking in her transformed appearance. "That's pretty impressive for twenty minutes Jen."

Jenny couldn't help smiling. "Glad you approve. I think there was a compliment in there somewhere."

"Not sure, huh?" Gibbs asked. When Jenny shook her head, he huffed. "We'll see about that." Drawing her closer, he placed a lingering kiss on her lips. "You're beautiful Jen."

She pulled back and shook her head. "You're biased."

"Ya think?" He was about to kiss her again when the doorbell chimes went off and he frowned.

Jenny smiled and pushed him away gently. "Answer the door Jethro, I'm not going anywhere."

**NCIS**

The door swung open to Bill and Meredith, the couple inside the house greeting them with happy smiles.

"Hi!" Jenny exclaimed, hugging Meredith first, then Bill. "I'm so glad you guys could come. It feels like forever since the last time we got together." Eyeing the bowl Merry carried, Jenny's face lit up. "Maybe we should have dessert first tonight."

Gibbs and Bill were a little less enthusiastic about their greeting, toning it down to a smile and a handshake, though Gibbs did submit to being hugged by Meredith, it really wasn't optional. Once inside, everyone followed as Jenny led the way to the kitchen, pleased to see that in addition to taking the sauce off the heat, Gibbs had already put the noodles in the serving bowl and mixed everything together. Now both salad and main course were sitting in the center of the table, ready and waiting for them. She locked eyes her husband, the look conveying her thanks and he just smiled.

Gibbs got the milk out and poured a glass for everyone. Not only did it go well with their meal, but he knew calcium was important for pregnant women and figured Jenny would feel less conspicuous if she wasn't the only one drinking it. They all sat down, Bill and Meredith on one side of the table, Gibbs and Jenny on the other.

Out of respect for Bill and Merry's beliefs, they all joined hands and bowed their heads. Bill said a quick but heartfelt grace, then Jenny began serving everyone while the men discussed the past week. When they all had something to eat, the older couple exchanged glances and looked to Gibbs and Jenny.

Bill started. "We assumed that the reason you asked us here tonight is because you have something to tell us." He shrugged. "Both of you have talked to Merry and I separately and since the two of us have no secrets, we're at least caught up to Friday night." Pausing, he turned to his wife.

"I'm not sure we'll be able to eat without knowing what's going on." Merry locked eyes with Jenny, trying to find the answer. "Can you tell us now?"

Under the table, Gibbs' hand found Jenny's and she squeezed it to let him know he could make the announcement. They they'd be even for who they'd told. Gibbs faced his friends.

"We do have news for you," he said without much expression, and Jenny bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling. "We got the results of the paternity test back on Monday." Gibbs caught Jenny's eye and she nodded slightly. Across the table Bill put his hand over Meredith's and they waited tensely. Not wanting to worry them more, Gibbs let his face split into the grin he'd been holding back.

"The baby is ours. We're pregnant!"

Jenny couldn't keep her smile in any longer either and nodded enthusiastically to confirm Gibbs' claim. Bill and Merry stared at them for a moment and then the congratulations started.

Bill stood up to hug Gibbs and shake his hand, slapping his old friend on the back. "Congratulations Jethro, that's wonderful news. When?"

Gibbs gripped Bill's hand. "She's just eleven weeks now, so sometimes near the end of June I'd guess."

"Eleven weeks?" Bill's eyebrows rose and his expression became more serious. "So she was pregnant..."

Gibbs nodded. He didn't like thinking about that part. "Since before October fourth," he finished.

Bill shook his head slowly. "All that and she didn't miscarry? Whew," he whistled. "My friend, I think you have yourself a miracle."

"It's something pretty special, that's for sure," Gibbs agreed.

Likewise, on the other side of the table, Merry couldn't wait to hug Jenny. "I'm so happy for you," she whispered in her friend's ear. "This was your dream, right?"

Jenny pulled back and nodded slowly. "The one I never thought I'd get."

Meredith's eyes dropped to Jenny's midsection and the redhead laughed. "Nothing to see yet. I guess eleven weeks doesn't show like it used to."

At the number, Merry's smile dropped. "Eleven? Not five? Oh Jenny..." she didn't even know what to say.

Jenny's smile was tentative. "It came as a shock to us too. I'm afraid for all the care I didn't give this child two months ago because I didn't know I was pregnant."

"I'm sure it will be fine," Merry encouraged her, "the doctor will make sure you get what you need. Besides," she paused, "it's almost better that you didn't know right away." She'd been told the whole story and knew what October had looked like for Jenny even though the two women hadn't met until the first week of November. "I don't think you could've handled anything else on top of therapy, flashbacks, touch and trust issues, and the effort of simply trying to survive your initial healing."

Jenny laughed, briefly recalling those first three long weeks. "I'm glad that part's over," she admitted.

"You're going to make a great mom," Meredith continued, eyes shining.

Jenny shrugged helplessly. "I don't even know where to start."

"You will," the older woman smiled knowingly. "The first time you feel that child move, when you see their small form on an ultrasound picture, when you learn their waking and sleeping patterns as they grow inside you, you will know what it is to be a mom. Trust me."

Biting her lip as she absorbed her friend's words, Jenny met Merry's eyes. "Are you doing to be okay with this Merry? What you told me last week about..." she trailed off not sure how the mention of her stillborn daughter's name would affect Meredith.

Her expression was full of longing and love. "Cassie?" she asked. "It's alright Jenny. It's been more than fifteen years since our little girl went to be with Jesus. I can talk about her now, and I can be absolutely thrilled for any of my friends who get the chance to experience this miracle of life. I promise."

Eternally grateful for Meredith, Jenny hugged her again and finally sat back down. She looked at their plates and shrugged. "I hope everything isn't too cold."

Bill smiled. "Trust me, your news was worth it. We're really very happy for you two. Can't wait to meet your little one."

"Us too," Jenny agreed, exchanging glances with her husband.

The rest of the meal was spent in conversation as the two couples caught up on what they'd missed in the last couple weeks. Gibbs and Jenny enjoyed themselves, reveling in how good it felt to just spend time with their friends. It was something they hadn't missed before, but after the last couple months, they knew how important these relationships were.

**NCIS**

After supper and once everyone had eaten their fill of Meredith's special dessert pudding, the later evening hours found all four adults in the library, again split into couples on two couches. Bill, Merry, and Gibbs all held mugs of coffee, but Jenny had mixed herself a glass of flavoured iced tea, and tried not to look too pleadingly at her husband's drink.

Merry watched her sip the amber liquid and chuckled. "I wondered if something was going on when you opted for tea at our visit last week."

Jenny shook her head. "I've actually been off coffee, mostly, since the middle of October. I practically lived off it for the first two weeks, but my headaches were getting worse, so I switched to decaf." She held up her current drink. "Now I'm just trying to keep my options open so I don't dwell on six more months without caffeine."

Gibbs' eyes met hers, a question clear there. Jenny glanced at their friends and nodded. He cleared his throat.

"There's something Jenny and I were wanting to ask you," he began, making eye contact with both of the people sitting across from them.

Bill settled back against the couch and rubbed his thumb over his wife's hand. "Ask away."

"We're wondering if you and Merry would like to be our baby's godparents, along with Jenny's best friend Rachel." Bill and Meredith's eyes widened and they exchanged a look, but before either of them could speak, Gibbs held up his hand.

"Don't say anything right now," he urged them. "Talk about it, think about it. I know what you went through when Kelly died, and I understood a lot better about Cassie after that too. We don't want to pressure you. Just think about it and let us know." He squeezed Jenny's hand. "You've got six months to decide."

Bill nodded solemnly. "It's an honour Jethro, thank you." He looked at his wife. "You can be sure we'll think and pray about it very seriously."

"Good." Gibbs took a sip of his coffee, considering the matter settled.

"So," Jenny smiled and changed the subject, "what are your plans for Christmas?"

This year was bound to be even more filled with people they considered family than last year had been, and she just wanted to make sure they had a plan.


	17. Chapter 17

When Gibbs and Jenny got off the elevator the next morning, Abby was waiting for them. Dressed in a short, red and green plaid skirt, a black t-shirt with the outline of a Christmas tree, and a Santa hat to top the look off, her appearance announced that the Christmas season was nearly upon them.

"Good morning!" The bubbly Goth grinned, practically jumping up and down she was so excited. "Only eight days until Christmas, can you believe it?"

Gibbs leaned close and kissed her on the cheek. "It's a good thing we have you around Abs, we'd never remember otherwise."

Abby rolled her eyes. "You're assuming I'd let you forget it Bossman. So," she turned to Jenny, "what are we doing for Christmas?"

Jenny lifted one eyebrow. "Not keen on a repeat of last year's celebration Abby?"

"Well," the girl shrugged, "it was okay and all. But we're family this year, we should do something special."'

Laying one hand on the forensic scientist's arm, Jenny smiled. "And we will." She scanned the bullpen for the rest of the team and waved them over. Once everyone was gathered, she looked at Gibbs, who nodded. "Gibbs and I will be hosting Christmas this year, since Ducky was so gracious as to be in charge of Thanksgiving."

"Yeah, like you could talk him out of it," Tony remarked. "He's been doing it since I joined the team, I think."

"Well, regardless, Christmas dinner will be at my house at 2 pm on Christmas day. You may come a little bit early so we can all spend time together but I am sure you all will having other plans for Christmas morning." Jenny glanced significantly at Abby and McGee who were standing closer than co-workers. And she noted that Tony and Ziva seemed particularly comfortable around each other lately, perhaps this new year would also bring a new romance to the team.

"This is going to be so awesome!" Abby squealed, clapping her hands. She grabbed Tim's arm. "Come on Timmy, you can buy me a Caf-Pow on the way down to my lab. And not one of the nutmeg ones." She made a face. "They are awful."

"The Caf-Pow machines are nowhere near your lab Abby," her boyfriend felt compelled to point out. A dark look from Abby had him slipping his arm around her waist. "But I'd still be happy to buy you one." Abby grinned and Tim knew it would be a couple of dollars well spent.

Gibbs eyed the retreating couple warily and jerked his head towards the bullpen, silently telling Tony and Ziva to go back to their desks. Threading his fingers between hers, he spoke quietly to Jenny. "Come on Mrs. Gibbs, I'll walk you to your office."

Jenny smirked. "Playing the gentleman now Jethro?" But before he could protest in indignation, she smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder. "You do it very well."

On their way up the stairs the couple talked about who else to invite to the Christmas party other than the team. "You mentioned having Noemi and Marisol come," Jenny reminded her husband. "But that was several weeks ago. Would it still be alright?"

Gibbs frowned. "Didn't Noemi mention taking Marisol away for the holidays? She asked for some time off but I can't remember exactly what she said."

"Oh, I'm not sure." She bit her lip. "We better check with her when we get home," Jenny made a mental note to do just that. "And then we have Christmas with Bill and Meredith on the twenty-eighth because they'll be with Bill's parents for Christmas Day."

"I think we should talk to them about inviting Rachel," he put in.

Jenny looked at Gibbs. "I'm surprised, Jethro."

"What?" He shrugged. "I know she doesn't have family nearby and she seems to have adopted us. Bill and Merry are practically family and it's one more woman to add to your girl talks. Bill and I can easily disappear for awhile. What's not to like?"

She put her hand on his face and kissed him. "That is for being the sweetest man I know. Merry has been dying to meet Rachel ever since I started telling her college stories, and you know I can't say no to having her around." Jenny's eyes were shining. "Thank you Jethro. I'll call her this evening."

Gibbs wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "You looking at me like that makes it all worth while Jenny."

She smiled in response and they entered her office together.

**NCIS**

Later that afternoon, Ziva caught Tim's attention as she sidled past his desk. "McGee," she asked casually, "did you ever go talk to my friend Abram?" The Mossad officer purposely kept her words vague, knowing no one else was in on the secret her friend was keeping. And Tony was sitting at his desk nearby, ears always open to overhear other people's conversations.

McGee looked up and smiled, glad she'd thought to ask. "Yeah, I did. Thanks Ziva, dropping your name really helped. Abram spoke very highly of you."

Ziva's eyes lit up and she returned his smile. "My pleasure."

She truly was happy for McGee and Abby, and looked forward to hearing about Tim's proposal. But if his normal mood was any gauge, Abram hadn't finished the ring yet. Ziva knew McGee would have a hard time keeping the excitement out of his eyes once he was holding Abby's engagement ring in his pocket.

Tony glared at the two of them suspiciously. "What are you guys talking about? Sounds like something secret." He started to grin. "I like secrets," he asked hopefully.

But Tim's eyes went back to his computer and Ziva's gaze naturally gave nothing away. But something was going on, Tony was certain. Looked like he'd be reduced to sneaking and spying to find out. He smiled to himself. Good thing those two arts were his specialties.

**NCIS**

"Hello?" Rachel answered the phone after a long day at work. All she wanted right now was a bath and a few hours with her favourite book. Though like as not today's favourite book would be different from yesterday's favourite. There were just too many great stories for her to choose only one.

"Hey Rach, how was your day?"

"Jenny!" Suddenly Rachel felt her sparkle come back. "It does wonders for my mood to hear your voice. How are you and the little bug?"

"Bug?" Jenny asked curiously, and Rachel could picture the raised eyebrow look her friend was giving her from twenty minutes away.

"You know," Rachel laughed, "the baby, silly."

Jenny groaned. "Rach," she whined, "you're not seriously going to call my baby that, are you?"

"Why not? It's something different." She sighed. "I'll get bored of just asking about 'the baby' all the time." She frowned. "What do you call it?"

Jenny shook her head. "Well I had to come up with something better than 'it'." She sighed. "I'm stuck on 'little one', but I'm sure the kids will come up with something more creative. Although, before whenever the discussion of Jethro and I and a child has come up, the nickname that stuck out has always been 'Gibblet'."

"Gibblet?" Rachel's laughter echoed through the phone. "Oh, that is hilarious! I wish I'd thought of that. Seriously Jenny, I have to meet Jethro's team. I've heard too many stories not to be insanely curious by now."

"Sometimes soon Rach, I promise." She was quiet for a minute. "So, what are your plans for Christmas?"

Rachel pretended to think about it. "Well, let's see. I'm going to take all my neighbours Christmas coloured cookies. Then I'm going to go make a snowman in front of the building. After that I thought I'd try to find a tree that will fit in my apartment. Then-"

Jenny interrupted the 'Abby-ish' ramble. Although it was quite possible that all of those things were true, knowing her friend the way she did. "Um...was there a grand finale to this busy day?"

"Okay fine, ruin all of my fun," Rachel huffed. "Actually, after the Christmas cookies, I was really hoping to see my best friend at some point. You know," she added lamely, "if you didn't have any other plans."

"Oh good," Jenny smiled. "That's what I was hoping too. But Christmas Day itself is kind of booked. Are you going to be around December 28th?"

"I certainly don't have plans to be anywhere else," Rachel declared. "What are you thinking?"

"Well, you know Gibbs' friends Bill and Meredith?"

"Of course. They were my counterparts in the homemade therapy team you two managed to put together," Rachel smiled.

"Yes, and between the three of you, we managed to keep our sanity. Mostly," Jenny added. She'd never been entirely certain that Rachel was completely sane. "Anyhow, we had planned to do an 'after-Christmas' Christmas get-together with them. Jethro talked to Bill earlier and they'd be glad to have you join our group for dinner that night. Will you?"

"Are you kidding me!" Rachel exclaimed. "More new people to get to know and share stories with? I'm in."

"Rachel..." Jenny suddenly wasn't sure if this was a good idea.

"Oh Jen, I'll be good, I promise," Rachel giggled and Jenny was not in any way reassured.

"Sure you will," she said, unconvinced. "We'll be happy to have you." She sighed. "No matter what embarrassing stories you happen to drag out."

"You never know what might come up," her best friend answered mysteriously. "But this sounds like fun either way. What time?"

"Five?" Jenny asked. "It will give us time to make introductions and for the three of you to get to know each other before supper is ready."

"I'll put it on my calendar," she agreed, already flipping the pages. "What can I bring?"

Rachel's response was so her that Jenny had to smile. The woman never went anywhere without bringing a gift or contribution, not if she could help it. "How about ingredients for that punch you used to make for us on holidays at school?" she suggested.

"And Christmas cookies?" Rachel had already decided they were good for everything.

"If you have extras I'm certainly not going to say no, and I doubt Merry will either," Jenny agreed, glad for this time with her friend.

"This is going to be awesome!" Rachel grinned.

"You sound like Abby," Jenny laughed. "But you know what? I think you're right. This Christmas is going to be a very special one indeed."

**NCIS**

Monday night Gibbs and Jenny were laying in bed as they often did, Gibbs tracing patterns on Jenny's hand while she read. He glanced over at her chest, grinning silently at what he referred to as one of the "bonuses" of pregnancy. After a moment Jenny looked over at him.

"I can feel you staring."

Gibbs shrugged. "I'm allowed to look, aren't I?"

Her gaze sharpened into a glare. "That is not a safe look," she pointed out.

"Hey," he held up his hands innocently, "can I help it if being pregnant suddenly comes with benefits?"

"Oh yeah, lots," she said dryly. "You try puking up your guts every morning and several times a day, not being able to eat anything other than toast, crackers, and ginger-ale, and getting," Jenny frowned down at herself, "too big to fit into certain normal articles of clothing."

"Can't you just buy new ones?" Gibbs asked, avoiding the rest of her rant lest he find himself sleeping on the sofa downstairs. Shannon had more than once banished him from their bed during her pregnancy because of a comment that came out wrong.

Jenny set her book down and Gibbs subtly tried to shift out of reach. "Yes Jethro, but that's not the point. It's...annoying," she said, for lack of a better word. "And it's not like I can take you shopping with me. You plus a lingerie store means your eyes never make it to my face when I want an opinion."

"But isn't it nice to be appreciated?" The words slipped out before he could stop them. As Jenny's expression tightened, Gibbs quickly tried to redeem himself. "You could take Rachel," he offered.

Jenny was torn between hitting him and being amused by the scared look on her husband's face. "Maybe I will," she sighed, relaxing until Gibbs' hand started creeping up her side. "Jethro," she warned, prepared to cause pain if necessary.

He gave her the closest thing to a puppy dog look that he had. "I can't touch?"

"Maybe later when I'm not sore," she conceded. "But you know they're only going to stay that way until I stop breastfeeding."

"That gives me months at least." His face brightened. "And I've heard you can nurse right up into the toddler years if you want-"

The rest of his comment, if there was any more, was cut off by the sound of Jenny's palm connecting with his bare shoulder. "Thin ice," she said dangerously.

Gibbs gave up all pretense of teasing and took her face in his hands, softly molding his lips to hers. When he pulled away, Jenny's eyes were still closed and he leaned his forehead against hers. "I'm just teasing Jen. You know I love you no matter what your body looks like. I just don't see any point in not enjoying what's happening."

She shook her head. "Like I said, later. But now I think you need to kiss me again."

Her book got pushed onto the bedside table as Jenny was suddenly wrapped in Gibbs' arms, her lips controlled by his, love and passion filling her, warming her body inside and out. It was something she never got tired of.

**NCIS**

It was Tuesday night and Tim and Abby were in the middle of a battle. A virtual one, that is. Frantically pressing different coloured buttons on their controllers, the two sat in front of McGee's TV in a fierce race against the clock in Mario Kart. Abby elbowed him, as if that would push his car out of the way of hers on the screen.

"Hey, no interference!" Tim protested, keeping his eyes locked on his part of the road.

"All's fair," Abby quoted quietly, focusing on her next move.

They were down to the final seconds when suddenly Jethro felt left out. In one bound he was in front of the TV, and despite Abby and McGee trying desperately to push him out of the way, the big dog refused to move and instead turned to greet them both with slobbery licks on their cheeks.

Just then the buzzer went off, declaring that both of them had lost the race by forfeit, and because of the trees, rocks, and buildings they'd run into as paws replaced fingers on the controllers. Abby frowned at the dog who was sitting happily in front of them, clearly expecting some of the attention he felt he was missing.

Abby scrubbed her cheek with her shirtsleeve. "Jethro, that was gross. We've talked about the kisses," she reminded him, even as she got right in his face and scratched behind his ears. "The little ones are fine, the big slobbery ones - not so much."

Tim glared at his pet's tail, thumping eagerly against the floor as Abby lavished some love on the dog that would be theirs as soon as they were engaged. Although really, Jethro has always been her dog. Watching as the German Shepherd collapsed on the floor and sighed contentedly when Abby started scratching his belly, McGee felt the strangest urge to pout.

Instead he crossed his arms and started at Abby's back. "Now I'm the one feeling left out," he muttered.

Abby turned to look at him and couldn't resist teasing. His expression was just too much. "Jealous Timmy?" she asked, feigning disapproval.

"Well, you could share the love," he suggested, looking hopeful.

"Aww, did you want your tummy rubbed too McGee?" Her eyes twinkled but Tim was focused more on her lips.

"Not exactly what I meant Abs," he said dryly.

"Oh..." She arched an eyebrow at him. "Well, in that case..."

Abby curled herself into his lap and placed her hands on both sides of his face, pressing her lips against his. Tim responded eagerly, his hands on her waist drawing her closer, enjoying the feel of her against him. He took control of the next kiss, his lips caressing hers with barely restrained passion. Things were just heating up as Tim's hands slid up Abby's back and her fingers became twined in his hair. Just then, Jethro started licking his cheek.

The couple pulled apart, sharing heated glances before they pushed the dog away. But Jethro refused to move and finally they gave up, both petting him as they laughed.

"Guess it looked like we needed a chaperone Timmy," Abby commented, touching her lips absently.

McGee's expression said everything. "I think it's time to go for a walk," he said to both girlfriend and pet. "The fresh air would do us some good. It's a little hot in here."

Abby giggled as Tim got up to find Jethro's leash. Sometimes his dog ruined the moment and sometimes he saved it. But all McGee could think was _Three and a half weeks_...

_A/N: Hey guys! Again, my apologies for the obscenely late chapter. I feel like I haven't had as much writing time the last week as I usually do, nor has the inspiration been there for this story. Also, I'm kind of in the middle of some research I'm trying to finish up and it's hard to do both at the same time. So this chapter may be my only update until next Tuesday. Sorry again, but I'm away for the weekend too. Thanks for your patience all, I promise I will not abandon this story, there is too much exciting stuff to come! Hope you enjoyed it :) Love, Aliyah._


	18. Chapter 18

_A/N: Okay guys, here's the deal. I'm going to cut back to updating ANB once a week for right now. There seems to be a lot going on and I just am not getting the amount of time to write that I need in order to update every couple of days. So instead of people waiting and having no idea when the next update will be, I'm going to shoot for once every 6-7 days. Hopefully that number will get smaller as things calm down and I can get more writing done, but for now that's the best I can do. Thanks for sticking with me and for all your wonderful reviews! I appreciate them so much! You guys are awesome!_

A sailor had been found dead in his house. He bled out, but other than the spreading pool of red liquid surrounding his body when the team arrived on scene, there was no visible cause of death. After the sketching and photos, the bagging and tagging, perimeter search and witness statements, Tony and Ziva were left alone in the bullpen. Gibbs was down in Autopsy with Ducky and Tim was working with Abby on the deceased's computer, which had a suspiciously high level of encryption for a man who didn't have any special security clearance and didn't deal in top secret information.

Ziva was sitting at her desk, preparing to make phone calls to anyone who knew the victim. Tony was supposed to be checking Brandon Price's phone records in McGee's absence, but was busily folding lined paper into small, tight triangle pieces. As soon as Ziva picked up the phone, Tony held the first triangle between his thumb and index finger, and used the other index finger to flick it at her.

When the small paper projectile hit her chin, Tony threw both of his arms up. "Score!" he yelled. The daggers she glared at him did not discourage the immature grown man one wit. Instead he cheerily proceeded to fold four more small triangle pieces, waiting for a moment when his partner's guard was down before flicking them at her. His aim was surprisingly good considering his current victim was a Mossad assassin.

One triangle landed on her hand as she was dialing a number, another tangled in her hair while she tried to both comfort and elicit information from the person on the phone. The third piece of paper however, Ziva caught in mid-air and Tony gulped as she calmly got up and stalked over to his desk.

Putting her face right in his, Ziva 's dark eyes bored into him. "Do that again," she challenged, her tone of voice leaving no doubt whatsoever as to how quickly he would die should he even try to go there again.

Instead Tony grinned like he had no idea why she was ticked off. "Working on financials here Zee-vah," he said, emphasizing the second syllable of her name because he knew it annoyed her and tapping a few keys as he pretended to be busy, "can't talk right now."

Her eyes widened and she threw the little piece of paper in the trashcan beside his desk before returning to hers. Soon Gibbs came back and not too many minutes later, McGee called up and said they had to see what he and Abby had found on the computer.

"Bet that's not all they were doing down there. Small, quiet lab," Tony muttered, "the McProbius and our dark angel alone together for inordinate amounts of time. I wonder what it's like getting it-" His lewd remark was cut off when Ziva's elbow suddenly collided with Tony's stomach.

As he took a moment to gasp for breath, she looked over her shoulder and smiled sweetly. "Oh Tony, are you alright? You really should not walk so close you know."

The look he sent her said that war was definitely on. For the rest of the day Tony's sole mission became this: aggravate Ziva as much as possible without dying. Never mind that she could probably gut him with a serving spoon if the fancy took her, this was about revenge. And Anthony DiNozzo was no stranger to annoying tactics that might be used to exact it.

**NCIS**

"Must be something in the air," Gibbs muttered as he dropped into the chair in front of his wife's desk, looking frustrated.

Jenny took off her glasses, checked to make sure he'd remembered to lock the door, and leaned forward. "What must be in the air Jethro?"

"Something. And it's getting on my nerves," Gibbs growled without elaborating much about the reason.

She watched him for a moment before getting up and walking around the desk. Settling into his lap, Jenny smiled. "I'm feeling ignored," she stated, reading the question in his eyes. "What is the matter?"

"The team," he grumbled.

Jenny started sliding her fingers into his hair. "Don't make me do this the hard way," she whispered, her warm breath on his ear.

Gibbs shifted slightly and locked eyes with her. "Why not? That hard way could be fun."

Perfectly manicured arched eyebrows framed her knowing look. "It will also make you even less easy to get along with should you have to wait until we get home for something you really want. Things only get started at work, not finished," Jenny warned, before Gibbs could even open his mouth to make a suggestion. "Now what about the team?"

Frowning at her, Gibbs sighed. "At the crime scene, things were fine. They did their jobs, we packed up the body, and everyone came back in a normal mood. I go down to see Ducky for less than ten minutes and when I come back upstairs it looks like Tony and Ziva are quite possibly ready to throttle each other. Though I think Ziva would've won," he added, not having to think about that one.

"Tony and Ziva, hmm?" Jenny asked, an idea percolating in her slightly hormone rattled mind.

Gibbs fixed her with one of his patented stares. "Don't even think it Jen. Those two are partners. And they will stay partners until one of their fights ends in bloodshed. Then we'll be looking for another agent. I know what you're thinking, but this time you're wrong, so stop."

"But Jethro," Jenny protested innocently, "it happened to Abby and McGee."

"Ha!" Gibbs scoffed. "Abby and McGee has been inevitable since day one. He's followed her around like a puppy dog since their first date and no one, not even DiNozzo, would deny that they've always had a 'thing' whether they would admit it or not. Tony and Ziva are the exact opposite. They work great together but between Tony's immaturity and Ziva's Mossad skills it's a wonder they're both still alive and tolerating each other as partners."

"Alright honey," Jenny smiled, leaving her husband to his illusions. She had no doubt that there was something between the senior field agent and their Mossad Liaison, but it wasn't worth pushing the subject. She could say 'I told you so' when Ziva was wearing a ring, however many months or years away that moment was. "Anything else?"

"Yeah. The two of them continued their bickering all the way downstairs, most of it without saying a word. By the time we get to the lab, Abby and McGee are at odds because of someone not taking the other's suggestion and it taking them longer to break the encryption because of it." He threw his hands up. "I'm too old to be babysitting grown adults. Should've just knocked their heads together or something. They all need to grow up."

"Jethro," Jenny asked slowly, a smile creeping over her face, "do you need a hug?"

His eyes raked over her slowly. "I need more than a hug Jen. But I'll take a kiss," he negotiated.

In a perfectly good mood with no intention of turning down his request, Jenny leaned forward and touched her lips to his. A little kiss wasn't nearly enough for Gibbs, who possessed her lips again almost before Jenny had time to breath. This one was enough to steal her breath and his both, but the two went for a third long, slow kiss before they pulled apart, breathing a little harder and smiling because it was impossible not to.

"You can't take lunch today, can you?" Gibbs asked, his voice one note short of pleading.

"No Jethro," she replied, grinning mischievously. "Anything else you are thinking is going to have to wait until tonight. So stop looking at me like that." His eyes were practically burning through her and Jenny did not need to be thinking about bedroom stuff while she was trying to read through the pile of less than exciting reports on her desk all afternoon.

"You can get rid of me but you'll be thinking about that kiss all day," he warned her, the twinkle in his eyes telling her he was enjoying their flirting too.

"Oh, and I don't suppose you'll be thinking anything dangerous for the next seven hours?" Her crossed arms wouldn't believe any excuse he came up with.

So instead Gibbs just kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear. "Tonight Jen." Smiling smugly, the man walked out the door leaving Jenny to glare after him. It was never a fair fight with them, but that just made it all the more enjoyable and fun.

**NCIS**

"No way Ninja, this time I drive," Tony declared, snatching the keys out of Gibbs' hand before he could even tell them where they were going.

Ziva grabbed her bag and trotted quickly after him, seething inside even as her stoic expression belied the emotion. Any more alone time today and Tony would not survive to see sunrise. He'd been taunting her since the paper flicking incident, pulling all the old nicknames out of his seemingly endless reservoir. Crazy chick, Pocahantas, Bat Girl, Officer Dah-veed, and assassin, just to name a few. Ziva was thinking a lot of names for her partner too, but they were all in other languages and not worth translating.

Half the time she was doing research into the sailor's background, Tony was standing behind her, too close for comfort, whispering in her ear and ruffling her hair. Finally she shoved him away and he had the nerve to try and tickle her before he gave up and went back to his desk. He nearly died right there. If Gibbs hadn't seen her reach for her letter opener... Apparently killing colleagues was frowned upon here in the US. In Israel it saved one from being annoyed to death.

Throughout the entire interrogation they did with the sailor's CO, Tony interrupted her every chance he got, and plucked her favourite pen right out of her fingers in order to make notes, the cheeky grin he gave her declaring that he was not in the least bit sorry.

By the time they got into the car for the drive back, Ziva determined that she was no longer speaking to Tony. In fact, she was going to ignore him entirely until such time as he decided to grow up. As it looked right now with Tony singing along loudly to Sinatra on the radio, she might never acknowledge him again.

**NCIS**

The last few hours had not gone according to Tony's plans. What started out as an all in fun thing to just lightly bug his partner, had become an all out war. But instead of conceding defeat or winning in blazing glory, Ziva had apparently forfeited her role. She hadn't spoken one word to him or even glanced in his general direction since they arrived back at the Navy Yard.

He'd tried almost everything, but she'd even ignored the theories he'd come up with for the case unless Gibbs was in the room. Even then she responded only to McGee. When Gibbs left, McGee became middle man between them, repeating anything Tony said that was useful or relevant because Ziva refused to have anything to do with him. At first Tony figured it would just blow over and everything would go back to normal between them. After all, tonight was Wednesday - movie night.

But when Ziva was still giving him the cold shoulder by the time they shut things down for the night, the senior field agent wasn't so sure. Uncharacteristically unconfident, Tony stopped by her desk on his way out and rapped his knuckles on the top.

"So..." he said slowly, "movie night?"

The glare she shot at his shoes was so fierce Tony almost stepped back lest lazar beams suddenly shoot from her eyes and burn a hole in his foot. Because McGee had already disappeared, down to the lab no doubt to try and make things up with his dark haired princess, Ziva scribbled her answer on the pad of sticky notes beside her keyboard. Then she abruptly stood up, grabbed her backpack, and walked away as if he didn't even exist.

Tony looked after her in disappointment, the emotion growing even more keen when he read what she wrote. _What do you think?_, her response said. With a sigh, he pulled on his jacked and plodded out to his car. Movie night just wouldn't be the same without Ziva.

**NCIS**

Gibbs was on his way to Jenny's office to collect his wife so they could go home, hopefully to indulge in something a little more fun than the dinner Noemi had almost certainly let for them. Just before he reached the stairs, his cellphone rang and he stifled a groan as he stepped into the alcove to take the call. Now was not the time for new developments, an emergency, or another case. It was late, he was tired, and all Gibbs wanted was to take Jenny home.

"Yeah, Gibbs," he growled into the phone.

"Wow," the female voice paused for a moment. "You needn't sounds so thrilled Jethro. I can take a hint."

Gibbs dragged one hand down his face and sighed. "Rachel. What can I do for you?"

She giggled. "Well, since you asked so nicely, I was wondering if you could give me Bill and Meredith's phone number?"

"Why?" he asked, already not following the conversation that had barely even started.

"My my, kind of nosy tonight, aren't we?" Rachel said saucily. "Never mind. It's only to say thank you for the invitation and find out what I can bring. I'd kind of like to introduce myself a little before I just show up at their house for a Christmas get-together."

"You mean warn them, don't you?" Gibbs smirked.

"Somebody obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," Rachel noted. "So can I have the number or not?"

"Yeah, I guess it can't hurt," Gibbs agreed, rattling the number off from memory.

"Thanks," Rachel smiled, already doodling on the sheet of paper she'd written on as she changed the subject. "So how is your lovely wife doing?"

"Between morning sickness and needing naps, things have been good," he replied honestly. "We're looking forward to telling my team about the baby." The words were out of his mouth before Gibbs remembered to look around and make sure no one was listening. But the bullpen was dark and empty and the hall was quiet. He relaxed.

"From what I've heard about your team members, you might want to have a video camera at hand. It sounds like a moment you might want to watch again if you ever need some cheering up."

"Yeah well, we'll see," Gibbs answered vaguely, not planning to tell her that he had no idea how to work a video camera, and ready to wrap up the conversation so he could finish his original mission.

Sensing his impatience, Rachel sighed. "Alright, well, I better let you go. Tell Jen I said hi. I'll see you guys at Bill and Meredith's for Christmas, if not before."

"Don't be a stranger," Gibbs said. He'd learned to enjoy having Rachel around over the last couple months. Add to that the fact that she made Jenny happy, and his wife's best friend had earned a standing invitation to their home.

"As if you could keep me away!" she exclaimed. "Take care Jethro."

"Bye Rachel," he finished, flipping the phone closed. It was time to go home.

**NCIS**

It was nearly midnight and Tony DiNozzo was depressed. Sitting on his couch in a dark livingroom, nursing a drink while watching scenes from one of his favourite movies flash on the screen of the large screen TV - usually nothing made him happier. But tonight something was missing, specifically, someone.

As much as he hated to admit it, Ziva's presence had become central to Tony enjoying movies, especially on Wednesday night. Sitting alone and watching a movie by himself felt like betrayal. He missed explaining things to his partner, catering to her desire for movie snacks like popcorn and sour candy, and having someone to share the evening with.

By the time he finished his drink, Tony was done sulking and ready to come up with a plan of action for the next day. He needed to get back in Ziva's good graces, whatever it took. He'd do anything - apologize, grovel - her wish would be his command if only she'd agree to do a make-up movie night with him tomorrow. Movie night was just too lonely without her.


	19. Chapter 19

On the drive to work Thursday morning, Jenny turned from the window to face her husband. "I finally got to talk to Noemi about Christmas this morning," she informed him.

Gibbs glanced at her. "And?"

Jenny shook her head. "They can't come. Noemi is taking Marisol to see her grandparents for the holidays."

"They're going back to Mexico?" Gibbs was surprised. "Weren't they just there in October?"

"Wrong side of the family Jethro," Jenny explained. "Noemi's husband Joe was American. His family lives in Colorado, they don't get to see Noemi and Marisol very often."

"Was?" He cocked an eyebrow in Jenny's direction.

"Yes," Jenny answered sadly. "Joe died when Marisol was very small. She barely remembers him. He and Noemi had only been married three years when it happened."

Gibbs' fingers tightened on Jenny's. "I didn't know."

She shrugged. "Noemi's been our housekeeper for eighteen years. They moved here right after the wedding. I only know about her story because she was working for us when the accident occurred. She never talks about it."

"Shame she never remarried," Gibbs commented. "Noemi deserves a good man in her life."

Jenny smiled. "She's done a remarkable job raising Marisol by herself. I think she loved Joe too much to let anyone else get that close."

Gibbs was silent and Jenny wondered if his thoughts were in the past, going back to a time when he loved someone that much. She leaned over and kissed his cheek but didn't ask him to share. Some things would always be private, she sighed with resignation. Oh, but how much she would give to know his whole heart!

**NCIS**

Tony's plan began the moment he walked into work. He set the Berry Mango Madness smoothie on his partner's desk and flashed his brightest smile. "Morning Ziva."

She frowned at the sound of his voice and the unexpected present and glanced in his direction suspiciously, but didn't make eye contact or speak. Tony settled at his desk and watched her eye the smoothie warily for several moments before taking a tiny sip. He grinned. At least she hadn't tossed it in the trash, maybe it was progress?

**NCIS**

Partway through the day when they still had no case, Tony closed his last folder and looked at the pile still on Ziva's desk. "Hey Ziva," he began, "want some help with your paperwork?"

Her head jerked up, eyes narrowing at the offer. This was not normal. Ziva thought about it for a minute but finally decided not to turn down free help. Without a word she held out the top three files to him and Tony stood to take them. She might not be speaking to him yet, but at least she was acknowledging his presence. One step at a time...

**NCIS**

Later that afternoon a call finally came in and Tony offered Ziva the car keys almost before Gibbs finished telling them to grab their gear. "Want to drive Zi?" he asked, letting the nickname slip.

After giving him a strange look, she nodded and took them from him. "Thank you Tony," she said quietly.

Tony had to resist the urge to grin, and followed his partner to the elevator.

**NCIS**

After that Tony noticed a smile slowly creeping back onto her face over the course of the day. It grew when he brought back tea and falafels for an early dinner. Basically Tony catered to her at every opportunity and resisted each chance he had to make a snide remark or sarcastic comment. His efforts did not go unnoticed by Ziva.

When evening came and the team had worked later than usual trying to follow an elusive paper trail, Gibbs finally sent them home. Then Tony appeared at her desk. "I'll walk you out?"

Ziva dipped her head in agreement and Tony stayed by her side until they reached her car. Clearing his throat, he met her eyes. "Uh Zi, look, I know I was a jerk yesterday and I'm sorry. But I really tried to make up for it today. Do you think we could do a make up movie night?" He shrugged. "It just wasn't the same without you. You can even pick dinner."

As Tony waited anxiously, Ziva pretended to consider his question. But in truth, she'd already decided he'd paid enough for yesterday and that she would say yes if he asked. "Mexican," she answered finally, smiling when his face lit up.

"I'll pick it up on the way," Tony said eagerly. "Meet you there. Still got your key?"

Ziva held up the silver key that granted access to his front door. "I will be waiting."

Tony got in his car in a hurry, so glad she'd said yes. Tonight was bound to be much more fun than last night. At least he wouldn't be alone.

**NCIS**

Jenny had already been in bed for awhile when Gibbs finally got home and crawled under the covers. He cuddled right up to her and started kissing the back of her neck. It was clear what he was angling for but her neck was one place still sensitive to touch after her rape, and Jenny cringed when he kissed her there again. Sometimes were much worse than others.

She rolled over and pushed him away with a little more force than necessary. "Not tonight Jethro," Jenny said to the startled look she got. Add to the memories that she'd been fighting a headache since early afternoon and she was just not in the mood. Disappointment crossed her husband's face but for once Jenny couldn't bring herself to care.

"You seem a little tense Jen, I could massage rub your back," he offered, watching her closely.

Jenny gritted her teeth. He wanted an excuse to touch her and she wanted to go to sleep. Why didn't he get it? Her gaze sharpened into a glare. "I don't want to be touched. Goodnight." To make her statement final, she rolled over again so her back was to him and felt him shift away.

Gibbs was surprised at Jenny's insistence. He wondered if mood swings were going to be a regular basis thing now. _It's a good thing I got lots of practice dealing with them over the past two months_, he thought dismally, laying down on his back and staring at the ceiling.

He was still trying to get used to this new intimacy with Jenny that came with rules - not every day or even every other, but once a week, a handful of times a month if he was lucky. She still didn't want to share her body as much as she had before her kidnapping, nor could she always stand his touch. Jenny was still quiet sometimes, withdrawn, and he missed the fire that used to burn bright in her. Of course, after her outburst tonight, he might not appreciate how this fire burned.

Physically they were getting better, just as psychologically the symptoms of her PTSD were fading slowly. Jenny was still getting comfortable with being naked again, with letting him have her, but no matter how many times they'd slept together since she was raped, it was still different than before.

He had to be careful, there were certain things they couldn't do, there wasn't the abandon they'd enjoyed before. So much was still before and after, that line drawn in the sand. And it was frustrating for Gibbs when he really wanted her - which these days was practically every time he looked at his wife. He sighed. It was going to be a long six months.

**NCIS**

It was late. Tony's apartment was dark and the closing credits to Sahara now flickered on the large screen of his TV. He and Ziva were comfortably slouched on the couch together, drinks resting idly in their hands. Tony watched the names scroll by, content to just be sharing the night hours with her. Finally though, he spoke up.

"You remind me of her, you know."

Ziva frowned, feeling slower the more her body relaxed and her tiredness made itself felt. "Who?"

"You know, Eva," he gave her the name of the character Penelope Cruz played.

She tilted her head and looked at him, eyes slanted in a way that could be read as flirtatious. "Really?" she asked, intrigued now. "How so?"

Tony coughed a little. "Oh, well, you know. Both of you fight for what you believe in, no one's going to deny you both have great bodies and gorgeous hair," she punched him in the shoulder and he winced, then continued. "The two of you are strong, brave women." Tony grinned. "The only difference is, you can kill a guy with office equipment and you don't throw like a girl."

Ziva leaned her head back against the couch and let herself smile. She wasn't exactly sure if it was a compliment or not, but she'd give him cake points for trying.

**NCIS**

Friday morning dawned sunny and cold. Gibbs rolled over slowly, looking for his wife so he could try to gauge her mood before opening his mouth. He'd be walking on thin ice for several weeks at least, just because of the hormones now raging through her body. And of course it was always going to be his fault, he may as well just accept that fact right now.

But he couldn't tell what kind of mood Jenny was in because she wasn't there. Squinting at the clock, Gibbs realized it was already twenty after six, and belatedly noticed that the bathroom door was closed and the light on. Sitting up, Gibbs stretched widely, enjoying the cracks in his back that gave relief as kinks straightened themselves out.

Pulling open a few drawers, he quickly settled on the clothes he would wear to work today and got dressed. Only then did he knock softly on the bathroom door and stick his head in. Jenny was just finishing her hair and she smiled at him in the mirror, before staring at her reflection with something akin to contempt.

Taking a chance, Gibbs walked all the way in and stood beside her. "What's wrong honey?"

Jenny ran her finger across the smattering of freckles on her nose. "These," she said indignantly, as if the small brown spots had grievously offended her somehow. She pulled up one sleeve and pointed to her arm. "I thought I outgrew freckles when I was sixteen, what are they doing back?"

Gibbs shrugged innocently. "Pregnancy?"

Her green eyes flashed and Jenny reached for the tube of concealer, glaring at the mirror. "Well, they have to go."

Glad to see that his wife was feeling more like herself, Gibbs put his hand over hers, stilling her movement. He leaned forward and kissed both sides of her nose, then the tip. "I think they look cute," he said, winking at her before he left.

Jenny frowned at her husband's retreating back. "Cute?" she asked the empty room incredulously. But with a sigh she put the concealer back. _Cute, huh?_ She rolled her eyes. Sometimes the man had a way with words.

**NCIS**

It turned out to be a very slow day at NCIS once their current case was wrapped up before lunch. Gibbs disappeared to go get coffee and perhaps food, though the team rarely saw their boss eat. Tony and Ziva, now friends again, retreated to the breakroom to see if the vending machines afforded something appealing to snack on. McGee, having finished all his reports, made a quick getaway to the back elevator. There was only one place he wanted to be if there was nothing else that had to be done.

He smiled as the elevator counted down the floors, and walked out as soon as the doors opened, shaking his head at the large number four hanging on the door to Abby's lab, the signs above and below it proclaiming to one and all the Christmas was just around the corner and a certain forensic scientist was very excited about that fact.

Letting himself in, Tim looked around the lab, not surprised to hear Christmas music softly playing, but more than a little concerned when Abby wasn't working at her computer or stacking evidence jars to pass the time. Walking a little bit further, he spied her sitting against the back wall.

"Hey Abbs," he said softly, "everything okay?" It was rare to find her like this, and when it happened usually the reason was not a good one.

Abby just shrugged and didn't answer him, so Tim lowered himself to the floor beside her and put his arm around her shoulders. As if it was a reflex, she leaned her head on his shoulder and they sat quietly for a long time. Finally she held up her left hand in front of her, absently tracing her empty ring finger.

"McGee?" she asked.

He rubbed his other hand down her leg. "Hmm?"

Abby debated whether she really wanted to ask the question. She didn't want to press him, but they'd been dating for almost two and a half months now, and if she thought she'd been impatient after two weeks, this was a hundred times worse. Finally McGee nudged her and she spoke.

"You still want to marry me, right Tim?"

McGee tightened his hold on her, his voice thick when he answered. "Of course I do Abby, you know that."

"I know," she sighed, glad to hear the confirmation nonetheless.

He turned her face towards him. "Why the question then?"

Abby shrugged. "I guess I'm just wondering what you're waiting for."

"Oh Abby," Tim sighed heavily. "Do you trust me?" She nodded. "Okay. I'm waiting for one very special reason. I promise it's not that much longer. I want so badly to marry you, but you deserve a moment you'll never forget. That's what I'm waiting for. Can you be patient?"

Abby's answer was to close the distance between them and settle her lips gently on his. "I'll try Timmy. I just want to be your life...I mean, wife," she corrected quickly when she realized the slip.

Tim shook his head slowly, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "No," he whispered tenderly, stroking her cheek with his thumb, "you had it right the first time Abbs. You are my heart, my life, everything to me. Okay?" Without even letting her answer, McGee leaned in but stopped a breath away from kissing her. "Please don't forget." He took his time with the kiss, comforting his girlfriend and confirming everything he'd just said.

Abby eagerly responded and their lips met again, but a fraction of a second later, a throat cleared in the doorway and they pulled away from each other to see Gibbs standing there, frowning. Abby jumped up. "Gibbs." She looked nervously at Tim. "Umm, we were just, uh, breaking the rules," she mumbled, looking down at her feet.

Gibbs raised one eyebrow, having expected an excuse instead of the truth. He jerked his head at Tim. "Upstairs."

The junior agent sighed. "Yes Boss." He squeezed Abby's hand and gave her a longing look as he walked past, wondering how much trouble they were going to be in this time.

The boss waited until he and his surrogate daughter were alone. He looked at her for a long moment before his expression softened and he moved to kiss her on the cheek. "I know you love him Abs, but-"

She cut him off. "I know, I know. No making out in the lab."

Gibbs chuckled and put his finger on her lips. "I was going to say next time, lock the door."

Abby stared after him, opened mouthed, as he turned and left. Who was this guy and what had he done with her Gibbs?


	20. Chapter 20

_A/N: This chapter is for Jibbsgal1 because she's sick. Hope you get feeling better hun! :)_

Friday night meant grocery shopping for Mr. and Mrs. Gibbs. But it was also a celebration for them because Jenny was now officially past the twelve week mark, so both parents could breath a little easier now knowing she was likely to carry their baby to term.

They stopped at Vaun's Market on the way home. Even though Noemi had been back for some time and was generally in charge of keeping their kitchen stocked, she didn't work weekends. Gibbs and Jenny both acknowledged the need for keeping healthier food around so they could make meals that were good for both of them, especially the mother-to-be, to eat.

So lots of vegetables; mostly for salad ingredients, something Gibbs was less than thrilled about; boneless, skinless chicken breasts, yogurt, cheese, and milk for calcium, plus whole grain bread and brown rice eventually ended up in their cart. When Jenny added a jar of peanut butter, Gibbs looked at her. "Why?

Jenny shrugged. "I don't know. It just...looks good."

Gibbs hid his smirk. _Looks like the cravings have started_, he thought. He remembered what it was like with Shannon and some of the crazy things she'd wanted when she was pregnant with Kelly. Looking at Jenny now, it was impossible to even tell that she was pregnant. Gibbs laced his fingers with hers as they walked and wondered what else might suddenly become her new favourite thing because of the baby she carried. It was going to be an interesting ride and despite the morning sickness, mood swings, and potential lack of intimacy, he couldn't be happier to be taking it again.

When they had made their round of the entire store and finally made it to the front to check out, Jenny scanned the tills looking for their favourite cashier. Melanee always lit up anytime they showed up in her line and the couple enjoyed her right back. Jenny was pleased to spot the young girl at register number eight, the one next to express.

Being that it was nearly eight pm, the store was quiet and there was only one person in line ahead of them. Mel looked up and saw them, her smile getting brighter, but she finished with her current customer before greeting them. "Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Gibbs! How's it going?"

Gibbs and Jenny glanced at each other and laughed. The girl was such a teenager.

"We're fine Mel," Jenny answered with a smile. "How are you? How's school?"

Melanee rolled her eyes as she scanned the first item. "Mr. Carson gave us a killer homework assignment in Science today. I'm going to be working on it all weekend. So much for time off," she sighed.

"Well, maybe Laurin can come over and you two can work on your assignment together," Jenny suggested.

They'd gotten to know Melanee enough over the past couple of months to know that she only lived a couple neighbourhoods away from them and that her best friend Laurin lived just across the street from Mel. The two girls shared every class but English and were almost always together except when sleeping or at work. Laurin worked at a restaurant down the street from the market as a busgirl and they often biked home together in good weather. But in the winter one of their moms came to get them since their shifts ended at the same time.

Mel started punching in the produce codes she knew off by heart after almost a year of working at Vaun's Market. "Probably not," she shrugged. "Mom doesn't think we get any work done when we're together."

"I can't imagine why she'd think that," Gibbs said dryly.

"Sorry Mr. Gibbs," Melanee giggled, starting to pack their order in cloth bags, "are you feeling left out?"

Gibbs held up his hands. "I do not get in the middle of girl talk."

"Smart man," Jenny smiled at him and she and Mel exchanged a look.

The girl totaled their order, eying the two of them before she read the final amount. "Okay - 1, 2, 3, go!" she said, knowing there'd be a race of credit cards.

Jenny won this time and gave Gibbs a very superior look. He glared and she took the pen from Mel to sign her name on the slip. Then her eyes twinkled and Gibbs read the question there, nodding his agreement. Melanee was watching them and frowned. "What's going on?"

"We have a surprise for you," Gibbs began and the girl's eyes widened.

She looked around to make sure she wasn't supposed to be doing something else, then leaned closer. "A surprise? For me?" Mel seemed confused.

"It goes back to something you said to us the first time we met," Jenny hinted, waiting to see if she remembered.

Melanee's forehead wrinkled as she thought back and her eyes snapped to Jenny as she tried not to be obvious about glancing down at her stomach. "Does it have something to do with me liking to babysit?" she asked hopefully.

Jenny grinned and even Gibbs looked happier than normal as he put his arm around her waist. "Yup."

His wife elaborated. "Early this summer we're expecting a baby."

Melanee's smile completely took over her face. "Yes!" She stopped short of jumping up and down but her whole being exuded excitement. "That is awesome! Aww...congratulations guys, I'm so happy for you!"

"Thank you." Jenny enjoyed how happy their young friend was. "Who knows? By the end of the summer we may even be looking for a babysitter. Say hi to Laurin for us."

Gibbs winked at the girl and her mouth fell open. "See you around kiddo," he said as they left.

Mel finally recovered enough to wave goodbye. She turned to greet her next customer, all the while thinking, _Pick me! Pick me! Please pick me! _It was no secret that Melanee Dayne loved babies and come this summer she'd have a whole new one to fuss over. Mel grinned. She couldn't wait to tell Laurin. It didn't get any better than a new baby.

**NCIS**

Rachel Wayne waited for the clock to reach a reasonable time Saturday morning before picking up the phone and dialing the number Gibbs had given her on Thursday. A woman's voice answered and Rachel thought she sounded nice.

"Hi," she began, "is this Meredith?"

"Yes." The voice became curious.

"My name is Rachel," she introduced herself. "I'm friends with Jenny and Jethro Gibbs."

"Oh, Rachel!" Meredith's tone lit up and Rachel could hear the smile in her voice. "Well, it's wonderful to talk to you. I've been wanting to meet you for awhile now, especially after everything I've heard from Jenny."

"Uh oh," Rachel chuckled, "that sounds dangerous."

Meredith laughed. "Don't worry, it's been all good things. Well," she thought about it a minute, "except I did hear something about a water fight with the guys in first year...?"

Rachel winced. "They started it!" she protested. "I was just defending myself."

The woman laughed and then spoke again. "So, did Jenny tell you about our invitation? Bill and I would love to have you join our Christmas celebration."

"That's actually why I was calling," Rachel explained, getting to the point. "I'd be honoured to come. I just wondered if there was anything I could bring. Jen and I talked about punch ingredients and Christmas cookies but I didn't want to step on any toes."

"No, please!" Meredith insisted. "Bring whatever you like. It's always nice to have a variety and we can split any leftovers."

"Great," Rachel smiled. "I'm looking forward to it. So..." she continued, feeling a little bit strange talking about her friend to someone sh e didn't really know, "did Jen and Jethro tell you guys their news?"

"They did," Meredith gushed. "And we couldn't be happier for them. Those two deserve some joy after everything else."

"Definitely," Rachel agreed, not wanting to get into the last couple of months with Meredith until she knew her better. "I was wondering, were you and Bill thinking about getting Jethro and Jen a Christmas gift?"

"We've been tossing around a few ideas, but haven't decided on anything yet," Meredith admitted. "Is there anything in particular you know they need?"

"Well," Rachel chewed on her bottom lip, "I was thinking it would be nice to get Jen one of those special pregnancy pillows. But I'm not sure if they're worth the money. What do you think?"

Meredith was silent for a moment. "You'd probably be surprised Rachel, they come in handy for almost everything." She laughed softly. "I almost got Bill one too because he kept taking mine. They're very comfortable."

Rachel's brow furrowed. "Do you have kids Meredith?" Jenny hadn't mentioned that.

"We almost had three," the older woman said quietly. "But I couldn't carry them to term. Still," she cleared her throat. "I remember what helps during pregnancy."

"Oh Meredith," Rachel whispered. "I didn't know. I'm so sorry." She couldn't even imagine how awful it would be to miscarry three times.

Meredith's smile returned to her voice. "It's Merry to my friends, and by the grace of God Bill and I managed to survive the loss and love each other more because of it."

"You're Christians." It was a statement, not a question.

"We are," Merry confirmed. "And you, Rachel?"

She grinned. "Ever since a hot sunny day at DVBS when I was five. Don't know what I'd do without Him."

"I'm glad to hear it," Merry said, and suddenly the two women felt like old friends.

"So, about the Christmas present?" Rachel steered the conversation back to her original inquiry.

"I'll talk to Bill and call you back. I think it should work and going in together will help with the cost. May I have your phone number?"

"Of course." Rachel recited the memorized digits and decided it was time to end the conversation for now. "Well, I hope you and Bill have a wonderful Saturday and I guess I'll talk to you later."

"Alright. Thank you for calling Rachel. It was nice to meet you."

"You too, bye."

"Goodbye."

Rachel had only just hung up when her phone rang again. She frowned at it, wondering if she was going to be popular today. Finally, on the third ring, she answered. "Hello?"

"Sleeping in today Rach?" Jenny's voice asked.

"Jen!" Rachel grinned. "I was just thinking about you."

"Sure you were." Jenny rolled her eyes. "Did I wake you up?"

Rachel glared at the wall indignantly and flopped onto her futon. "I'll have you know I've been awake since eight o'clock, thank you very much. What's up?"

"I need to go to the mall today." Jenny didn't sound terribly thrilled about the idea.

"Christmas shopping?" Rachel asked hopefully.

"Some," Jenny conceded. "And some just for me. Want to come?"

Rachel laughed. "Jethro doesn't want to go with you?"

Jenny turned to look at her husband who was sitting across the table from her practicing his best innocent face. It wasn't working. "Jethro can't concentrate when I go bra shopping."

Rachel bit her lip. "Oh, I see." She left out the word, 'awkward', that had been frequently used when she was younger and private topics came up. "Well, you're in luck Jen. My day is wide open. When?"

Jenny thought about it. "Want to meet me there in about half an hour?"

Glancing at her watch Rachel decided she could shower in three and a half minutes if she had to. Growing up with brothers had taught her some valuable life skills. "Sure. I'll wait for you by the food court."

"Wait for me?" Disbelief coloured Jenny's tone. "Rach, you are always at least five minutes later for everything. Since when do you beat me places?"

"Is that a challenge Jennifer Marie?" Rachel demanded.

"Ooh, middle names now Rachel Anne? Fine, if you're going to play it that way then yes, this is a challenge. Loser buys Baskin-Robbins on our way out."

"Ice cream, huh?" Rachel loved the playful banter with her friend, she'd missed this part so much over the last ten years. "You're on. See you in thirty minutes Jen."

"I'll be waiting," Jenny smirked, hanging up.

"What was all that about?" Gibbs asked, intrigued.

Jenny shrugged. "Just a little wager Rachel and I have going. The prize is ice cream and women," she grinned, "do not take dessert lightly." She jumped to her feet. "Gotta go get changed."

Gibbs laughed. He knew better than to get in the middle of this. "Have fun. I'll be in the workshop."

Jenny leaned over the railing and blew him a kiss. "Be careful. I love you."

"Love you too Jen." But she was already gone and Gibbs smiled to himself. It looked like the race was on!


	21. Chapter 21

Rachel raced through her getting ready routine and jumped in her car a scant ten minutes after she hung up the phone. It was an eighteen minute drive to the mall, she should get there just on time. But Rachel didn't count on stop lights and people who couldn't read speed limit signs. Still, it was barely twenty-one minutes after leaving her apartment that she pulled into the parking lot at the mall and began looking for an open spot.

She spied one three spaces over from a black Chrysler that had just driven in. After a double-take, she recognized the redhead in the driver's seat. Quick as she could Rachel parked, grabbed her purse and jumped out, locking the doors with the remote as she sprinted towards the mall entrance.

Jenny heard footsteps and looked over her shoulder to see her best friend running behind her. Normally too professional to do anything of the sort, Jenny started to hurry. But her heels were no match for Rachel's running shoes, and the women reached the doors at almost exactly the same time.

"Tie!" Rachel shouted triumphantly as her hand made contact with the door.

Jenny rolled her eyes and smiled before greeting her friend with a hug. "You are such a child!"

Rachel held the door open. "Says the woman who made a bet with me and wagered ice cream," she retorted with a smile. "Guess we're buying our own cones this time?"

Nodding in agreement, Jenny pulled open the second door and they entered the warm building together.

Rachel unzipped her coat and pulled her rainbow striped hat off, ruffling her dark hair to disguise the hat head. "So, lingerie shopping, huh? Does this have anything to do with Jethro's Christmas present?"

Jenny's eyes widened. "Nosy much?"

Rachel shrugged innocently. "Always. And when I can make you blush that easily, I know something is up." Then, switching gears completely, she leaned down and patted Jenny's stomach gently. "Hi little bug."

Embarrassed but knowing she should not be surprised by her best friend's actions any more, Jenny started walking. "Seriously Rach, will you ever grow up?"

Trying not to take Jenny seriously, Rachel smiled. "Probably not. This way is so much more fun." She glanced at the mall directory. "Which way Jen?"

Just then the cacophony of smells emanating from the food court assailed Jenny's nostrils. Her stomach rolled and Jenny put one hand over her mouth. Another second and it was clear the nausea was not a warning. Without a word she took off running in the direction of the bathrooms and Rachel followed, a concerned look on her face.

She was waiting with a damp, folded paper towel and a piece of gum when Jenny emerged from the third stall, looking pale but otherwise okay. She rinsed her mouth with a bottle of water from her purse, and gratefully accepted Rachel's contributions.

"I'm going to have to start carrying a toothbrush and tube of toothpaste around with me," she lamented.

Rachel rubbed her friend's back sympathetically. "Does it happen like that a lot? Just out of the blue?"

"Sometimes," Jenny admitted. "This time it was the food court smells. Yesterday there was no trigger, just getting out of bed was enough. And Thursday I got sick right after supper." She shrugged. "I've given up trying to figure it out. But hopefully this phase passes soon. I'm definitely sick of this part."

"No pun intended," Rachel said, giggling when Jenny glared at her. "Sorry, couldn't help myself."

"Try," Jenny suggested firmly.

The two ladies quickly walked away from the food court and picked a hallway that looked promising. About halfway down was Jenny's favourite lingerie store. She sighed. "I guess I can't put it off any longer."

Rachel looked at her curiously. "Not pleasure shopping today Jen?"

Jenny frowned. "One of the side effects of pregnancy is, umm..." she tried to word it delicately, "...needing bigger bras," she finished lamely, seeing no way around stating the obvious.

Rachel made a great effort to stifle her laughter and school her features into an appropriate serious expression. "I see. And that's a problem?"

"Not for my husband," Jenny rolled her eyes, ignoring Rachel's look that clearly said this was too much information. "But it's uncomfortable half the time and it's annoying me."

A saleslady walked up to them. "Good afternoon ladies," she said with a smile. "What can I help you with today?"

"We need a Christmas present for her husband," Rachel answered, keeping a straight face even as Jenny glared at the side of her head. "And she's pregnant," the dark-haired woman added gleefully, "so maybe a couple new bras, but nothing boring," she declared vehemently.

"Rach," Jenny said in a low voice and the woman knew she'd be paying for that stunt later.

The saleslady, Veronica, looked back and forth between them uncertainly. "I see. Well, let's start with the bras and go from there, okay?" She'd seen the look on Jenny's face when Rachel mentioned the husband.

Eying Jenny critically, Veronica gauged her size and picked several bras in different colours, styles, and sizes before guiding both women back to the changerooms. Without asking anyone's opinion, Rachel chose the largest room and leaned against the back wall. Jenny lifted one eyebrow and Rachel shrugged.

"I'll close my eyes until you're ready for an opinion." She smirked. "It's not like I've never seen you change before."

Jenny had to admit that Rachel had a point. Being roommates meant that they'd gotten over being self-conscious around each other a long time ago. She forgot about the differences her friend would see until she'd already stripped off her shirt. Rachel's intake of breath told Jenny that she'd noticed. Her mouth opened then snapped closed again as she tried to decide what to say.

Oblivious to any issues, Veronica handed Jenny the bras and smiled. "Just call when you're ready and we'll see how everything fits."

Jenny nodded vaguely, still wondering what Rachel was going to say, if anything. She watched her friend's facial expression but Rachel was still trying to find a way to address the subject without sounding nagging or judgmental. Finally she made an observation.

"You've lost weight." It wouldn't've been as obvious if Jenny hadn't been so skinny to begin with.

Jenny sighed. "Most of it is from the first month or so after the kidnapping." She put her hand over her stomach. "But the morning sickness isn't helping and I'm pretty sure my doctor is going to kill me when she weighs me at my next appointment." She shrugged. "I don't know if Jethro has noticed and just isn't saying anything or what."

Rachel bit her lip and she absently slid two fingers into her shirt sleeve, feeling the faint scars there. "Don't make me worry about you Jen," she said softly.

With a sad look on her face Jenny reached out to give her friend a hug. "I'll try not to Rach. I've already promised the baby, I'm going to take care of myself. But I can't do anything about the morning sickness."

Rachel laid her hand on Jenny's arm. "I believe you. But that doesn't mean I won't be checking up on you."

Jenny smiled. "I wouldn't expect anything less from my best friend."

The women smiled and then Rachel squeezed her eyes closed. "Okay Red, let's get this over with. Try the teal one first."

"Rach..." Jenny whined, "reviving college nicknames, really?"

Rachel peeked one eye open. "What? That's what all the guys called you and you never seemed to mind."

"Well I didn't think it was going to come back to haunt me eighteen years later. That really is unfair."

"But it's fun," Rachel grinned.

"We'll see about that," Jenny muttered. "But I remember things from college too Pollyanna, this goes both ways."

Rachel shrugged. "Well, there are worse nicknames, I guess." She closed her eyes again. "Hurry up. I want to get to the fun part where we start looking for Jethro's present."

Jenny shook her head. This was hopeless. "What makes you think we're getting it here?"

"Because Christmas is only three days away and you're not showing yet and you look great in anything. I'm sure he'll appreciate it." She made a face. "Why? Can you think of something better?"

Truthfully, in all the chaos of the past few weeks and the past couple of months before that, Jenny had mostly forgotten about Christmas and presents and planning. But Rachel had a point. Jethro would enjoy anything she bought at this store for Christmas, especially if he got to take it off.

She sighed. It would just be nicer if she actually felt like shopping for sexy lingerie. She didn't look pregnant yet, but she felt different and not in a way that made her want to show off her body. But she had three days yet, maybe she'd feel more up to it by Christmas morning.

"No," Jenny conceded, "I guess not. Okay, teal one first, here goes."

Unhooking the clasp on her own bra, Jenny set it aside and slid on the silky smooth one Rachel liked best. It fit much better and the relief at not being stuffed into the wrong size made Jenny smile. She adjusted the straps and then called for Veronica, who was waiting just outside the changing area. The saleslady came into the changeroom and Rachel opened her eyes and both ladies gave Jenny an opinion.

"The colour looks great on you Jen," Rachel smiled.

Veronica fitted two fingers under the straps and the band that went around Jenny's torso. "This one is definitely a good size for you now." She glanced at Jenny's stomach. "May I ask how far along you are?"

Jenny smiled. "Twelve weeks." She loved being able to announce that, even if no one could tell. It was this feeling of pride within her that made her want to share the news with anyone and everyone. But she'd have to save her enthusiasm for Christmas day with the team.

"Okay," Veronica nodded. "So this should be good for a bit. But odds are you'll go up at least one more size, maybe even two over the next month."

Jenny's mouth fell open. "I'm going to get bigger?"

Veronica bit her lip. "I'm afraid so. The first six or so weeks after you find out are when the change is the most visible." She shrugged when the two women looked at her, wondering how she knew that information. She didn't look old enough to be a mom. "A lot of my friends have kids, I've seen what happens to women's bodies during pregnancy."

She checked the other bras Jenny had still to try on. "Let me see if I can find you some..." she paused, looking for the right word, "...more appealing ones in that size. Just because you're growing doesn't mean you can't wear something that will still make you feel sexy." The saleslady excused herself and Jenny tried on three more of the bras before Veronica came back.

"The next size up feels a little roomy," Jenny reported when the saleslady asked.

Veronica nodded. "That's good, that's what you want. And I would suggest even buying just one of the third size. If you don't wear it you have a month in which you can return it, but if you need it," she shrugged, "you'll be grateful that you have it."

Jenny sighed. "Alright then." She picked five new bras total, a few of which she was absolutely certain her husband would enjoy. "Do you have the matching underwear for these? I may as well buy the sets."

"Of course," Veronica smiled. "I'll set those aside for you."

Back out on the floor Jenny fingered a pair of black, lacy, boyshort style underwear with pink edging. "And maybe I'll get a pair of these in the next size. Then I'll have something that's still nice when the time comes that I can't wear my normal underwear anymore."

Rachel eyed the panties warily. "Lace Jen? Really?"

Jenny laughed. "I forgot you have a lace phobia Rach. That still a problem?"

The brunette frowned. "It makes me itch."

"Or you just don't like dressing up. It was like pulling teeth to get you all done up fancy for our first year formal."

"What can I say?" she shrugged. "I'm a comfy clothes girl. Dresses," Rachel shuddered, "they're just not my style."

"One of these days Rach..." Jenny said under her breath, but Veronica came back before Rachel could worry about what her friend was planning.

"Okay," the saleslady smiled brightly, "shall we check out your Christmas present options now?"

Jenny smiled and shrugged. "Why not?" It was definitely going to be a holiday to remember.

**NCIS**

"Have some more water Jen," Rachel said, handing the clear bottle to her friend and setting a white bag on the bench they'd commandeered while they took a break from shopping. She'd been elected to get them something to eat in case the food court smells drove Jenny back to the restroom.

Jenny rolled her eyes. "Are you trying to make me have to go to the bathroom every five minutes? This is the third bottle you've given me today. Are you on some sort of water kick right now?"

Rachel shrugged. "It's supposed to be good for you."

Shaking her head, Jenny smiled. "Okay, whatever. What did you get?"

Pulling things out of the bag, Rachel set up a display. "Salad for me, fresh cut veggies for you." She noticed Jenny's look. "What? I didn't have lunch. Wasn't like you have me a lot of notice for this shopping trip."

"Vegetables?" Jenny said, picking up the container and pulling off the lid.

"It's not like they're poisonous Jen," Rachel huffed. "And I didn't figure you'd want much to eat if you weren't feeling that great."

Jenny waved her hand. "I'm fine now. But thanks. And I'm not the one who has a vegetable problem. You should see Jethro's face whenever I put them in salad. I swear that man would live off steak and coffee if there wasn't someone around to make him eat regular meals."

Rachel bumped her friend's shoulder. "That's what he has you for, right?"

Jenny smiled and the two ladies sat in silence for awhile as Rachel worked on her salad and Jenny took small bites of the baby carrots, celery, and cucumber slices in her to-go container. Soon enough they were ready to get back on the shopping wagon.

"Do you want to split up for a bit?" Jenny asked. "Meet back here in say, forty-five minutes?"

Rachel's eyes sparkled. "Tired of my company already Jen?"

"Well I can't exactly buy your Christmas present while you're with me, now can I?" Jenny pointed out.

"I do like surprises better," Rachel agreed. "Wait, are you saying my present is somewhere in this mall?"

Jenny shrugged. "That's what I'm going to find out, I guess."

"Alright then, let's," Rachel agreed.

The women parted company and spent the next half hour working their way through the stores in the mall, looking for just the right presents for certain people on their list. Finally they returned to the bench where they'd eaten their snack and grinned at the various bags each carried.

"Looks like you found some treasures," Rachel observed, glancing curiously at the store names on the bags.

Jenny began carefully putting all the smaller bag in her one bigger bag from the lingerie store so she only had to carry one and it would be harder for Rachel to snoop. "I did find some rather interesting things." She eyed Rachel's collection of bags. "And you?"

Rachel grinned. "I always love it when I find the perfect present for someone," she said mysteriously. "So, Baskin-Robbins before we go?"

Jenny contemplated what should've been a no-brainer question. "I'm thinking frozen yogurt," she said at last. "With raspberries. Lots and lots of raspberries."

Rachel looked at her suspiciously. "Jen, you hate raspberries."

"Since when?" Jenny asked, now imagining her very pink frozen yogurt cone.

"Umm...since I've known you. Something about eating one with a bug in it when you were six. Is this ringing any bells?"

Jenny shrugged as if it was of no consequence. "These berries are frozen Rach. It will be fine. Can we?"

Rachel sighed. "This is one of those cravings things, isn't it?" But she gave up trying to figure it out. "Alright, frozen yogurt it is. But if you suddenly realize halfway through eating yours that you do in fact hate raspberries, don't say I didn't warn you."

Jenny was already making a bee-line for the stand in the center aisle. She could taste her dessert already. Rachel followed, shaking her head. This pregnancy thing was already affecting her friend's behaviour and it would be interesting to see what would happen next.


	22. Chapter 22

_A/N: Hey guys :) It's late and I'm really tired so I apologize in advance for any mistakes I didn't catch on my read-through. And I can't decide if this turned out okay or not, so let me know :) Is there such a thing as too much fluff? Hope no one's allergic because there is more coming :P Thanks everyone for sticking with the story, you guys rock! :)_

When Jenny finally arrived home it was late afternoon and she was struggling to keep her eyes open. Not seeing her husband on her quick scan of the first floor, she assumed he was still in the workshop doing...whatever it was he did out there. Too tired to bother finding him just now, Jenny decided a nap was in order.

Once upstairs she shed her going out clothes and slid into her pink flannel pjs. They were probably the least sexy article of clothing she owned, but they were comfortable and warm and perfect for a nap on a cold December weekend. Smiling briefly at the thought because she knew Gibbs would correct her - he was biased and thought she looked sexy in sweats and bare feet - Jenny crawled under the covers and sank gratefully into the soft mattress, resting her head on her fluffy pillow. Her eyes were closed and sleep claimed her before she could even finish pulling up the covers.

**NCIS**

Half an hour later Gibbs looked up from his work. The crib was finally starting to take shape. Any time he'd spent in his workshop since finding out Jenny was pregnant with his baby, had been devoted to working on a place for his child to sleep. A slow smile crawled across Gibbs' face. It wasn't often that he got sentimental, but kids was one subject that always got him thinking.

And now he was picturing the little baby he'd hold in his arms early this summer, a real life little miracle who'd spent nine months growing in Jenny's womb. Gibbs set his tools down and stared out the window. In his mind he held tiny hands as their child took slow steps across the kitchen floor. He knelt down to hold out his arms as a beaming five year old ran into them, eager to tell about a first day of Kindergarten.

The images grew and took shape and Gibbs felt an ache in his heart - first for the years he'd lost, for his experience as Kelly's father ended eight years after her birth. And then a longing to meet this new child and get to know him or her as the months and days passed and the years stretched out into the sunlight of raising another little life.

Finally Gibbs shook his head and dusted off his hands. Now seemed like a good time to go inside and see if his wife was home. He walked in the back door. "Jen?" he called. The house was very quiet. Checking his watch, Gibbs frowned. It had been a few hours since Jenny left to meet Rachel, surely they weren't still shopping?

In the livingroom he glanced out the picture window and saw Jenny's car. But she wasn't in it and the front door was locked, a collection of bags laying where they'd been dropped on the hall rug. Curious now, Gibbs took the stairs two at a time and reached their bedroom a few seconds later. He had to smile at the sight he saw.

Jenny was curled up in bed wearing those pink flannel pjs she loved for lazy days. Her hand lay over the partially pulled up cover as if she'd fallen asleep mid-motion. Shaking his head, Gibbs tucked the blankets around his wife's shoulders and brushed back a piece of her silky hair. He watched her for a minute before heading into the bathroom to take a shower.

**NCIS**

By the time he was clean and fresh smelling and dressed in sweats, Gibbs knew he had to wake Jenny up or she wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. He knelt by the bed and rubbed his thumb over her cheekbone. "Jen," he whispered and she stirred at his touch but didn't wake.

Gibbs smiled and tried again, this time massaging slow circles into her shoulder as he spoke. "Jenny." She made a sleepy noise of protest at the intrusion on her nap and her eyelids squished shut a little tighter. Biting back a chuckle, Gibbs put his face close to hers and touched his lips to hers for a gentle kiss.

As if in reflex, Jenny's hand came up to rest on his neck, the action drawing him in and deepening the kiss. Gibbs knew she was awake when he felt her smile against his lips. He pulled back a little and rubbed noses with her. "Hey."

"Hi." Jenny's eyes were alert now and she looked happy. Gibbs savoured the expression because he knew now to treasure her happiness. Some days it was only a memory.

She laced her fingers with his, tracing her thumb over his wedding ring. Moistening her lips, Jenny grinned at him. "You sure know a nice way to wake someone up."

Gibbs moved to sit beside her on the bed because the floor was hurting his knees, and Jenny scooted over to accommodate him. He brought her hand up and pressed his lips to her knuckles. "Oh, you approve now, do you?"

In answer Jenny's eyes darkened a shade and she tugged on his shirt. "Come here," she said softly.

Happy to oblige, Gibbs bent forward and let Jenny control the kiss as their lips met. It was slow and sweet and almost long enough to let him hope for more until Jenny released his shirt and lay back, a satisfied smile gracing her lips. "I definitely think you should try it more often."

As tempting an offer as that was, Gibbs knew that tomorrow she might glare him into the floor if he tried to wake her up that way again. Still, all that mattered was right now and Gibbs shifted to lean back against the pillows so Jenny could rest her head on his leg instead.

He threaded his fingers into her hair, enjoying the soft sigh of contentment from his wife. "Did you have fun with Rachel?" Gibbs asked after awhile.

Jenny nodded against his leg. "She's nothing if not entertaining."

"Well," he chuckled, borrowing one of Rachel's favourite lines, "you wouldn't want your life to get boring now."

"No," Jenny said sarcastically, "can't possibly have that." She started drawing random patterns on his thigh with her fingers and Gibbs squirmed, but Jenny only smirked and ignored the subtle hint. "How goes your project?" she asked.

Gibbs put his hand over hers to keep her fingers still, knowing he wouldn't be able to control his reaction to her touch. Odds were that tonight would be for sleeping only and he didn't need to be thinking about what else they could be doing.

"It's coming," he said finally, after fighting Jenny's attempts to keep teasing him. He changed the subject, not wanting her to ask in more detail yet. He wanted to surprise her with the first finished piece of furniture for the nursery. "So, is my Christmas present in one of those bags downstairs?"

Jenny sat up quickly and stared at him. "You didn't look through them, did you?"

Gibbs traced the curve of her neck and collarbone with one finger. "Why?" he grinned wickedly. "Would I have found something I liked?"

Jenny shrugged off-handedly, but her eyes were twinkling. "I guess you'll just have to wait and see."

"Wait?" he pouted. "Jen..."

She rolled her eyes. "Not your strong suite, I know." Leaning closer, she whispered in his ear, her warm breath ghosting over his skin and making him shiver. "It's only three more days Jethro."

He turned his head slightly so their lips barely brushed. "I don't know Jen," Gibbs said huskily. "Three days can be a lifetime." Jenny's lips met his and Gibbs drank in the taste of his wife. He was just getting into it when Jenny sat back again and he frowned, not liking the pattern he saw.

"I think we should order Chinese food for supper," she said, as if discussing meal options when they were almost making out was a perfectly normal thing.

Gibbs' eyes narrowed. "What?"

She stared back at him innocently. "Supper. I'm hungry."

He reached for her but Jenny slid off the bed and spun away lightly. Gibbs looked at her like she was nuts. "I think you forgot to finish something," he hinted, and Jenny tried to tone down the delight in her smile.

"Oh, come on Jethro," she said alluringly, "you know you wouldn't enjoy dessert as much if I didn't make you work for it."

That comment had Gibbs following her out the door in a hurry. "Does that mean I get dessert tonight Jen?" he asked hopefully.

Glancing back over her shoulder, Jenny smirked at him. "I didn't say tonight. Christmas Eve is only two days away. Isn't that the night when anything can happen?"

His eyes widened and Gibbs stifled a groan. "You're going to make me wait two whole days?" Granted, it wasn't that unusual now to go several days without being intimate, but they'd been having a good weekend so far and he could always hope.

When Jenny turned around the look in her eyes left him with no doubt that for once, she wanted him at the same time he wanted her, but she seemed committed to playing hard to get. "Trust me Jethro," and his name glided off her tongue like honey, "it will definitely be worth the wait."

The heat in his stomach was already headed dangerous places and Gibbs' voice was rough when he caught up with Jenny and spun her around to face him. "Promise?"

His wife smiled but said nothing. She just tossed him the phone. "Food."

He saluted. "Yes ma'am." And the prospect of Christmas Eve activities hung in the air.

**NCIS**

An hour and a half later Gibbs and Jenny were sitting on the couch in her library, a fire crackling comfortingly in the fireplace while they picked through their nearly empty take-out cartons. Jenny swirled her chopsticks around and found the last sliver of meat from her Cantonese chow mein.

Finally she set aside the carton and leaned into the couch, slipping her socked feet under her husband's leg. It was quiet tonight and Jenny had no desire to break the companionable silence the two of them shared. Sometimes it was nice to sit and not have anywhere to go or anyone to see or anything to say, but just enjoy being together.

Running a hand through her loose hair, Jenny separated a small section into three pieces and began weaving them together without really thinking about it. She'd known how to braid since she was about ten and her own long hair had been a perfect way to practice. She was hardly even aware of the action until she felt Gibbs' eyes on her and looked up.

"What?" she asked, uncertain about what his expression meant.

He stared at her and the plait of hair held between her fingers. When Gibbs spoke, his voice was heavy and sad. "Kelly liked to wear her hair in braids," he said, with no warning opening up about the family he used to have. "It started when she was six and personally, I blame Maddie for getting her into those Little House on the Prairie books."

Gibbs looked down at his large hands. "I always tried when she asked for braids, but no matter how many times I practiced, I was all thumbs at it." His eyes moved to the dark window across the room and Jenny hardly dared to breathe, not wanting to interrupt the memory he was sharing. Gibbs tried to smile, but thinking about Kelly was always a struggle to see what would win - the bitterness of loss or the sweetness of remembering his daughter.

"Usually Shannon would take pity on me, telling Kelly that Daddy was better at boats than braids. She'd have it finished in about four seconds and Kelly would look at me as if to say, 'See Daddy, it's not that hard'." He sighed, still not quite able to look at Jenny. "I miss that Jen. Even the things I got wrong. I just miss my little girl."

Their eyes met finally and in that moment Jenny would've given anything to fix the hurt she saw in her husband's gaze. She sat up and knelt beside him, wrapping her arms around him and holding on tight. "Oh Jethro," she said softly, "I know."

Jenny ran her fingers lightly through his hair, grateful to feel his arms lock around her waist. It only took a little maneuvering for Gibbs to settle Jenny in his lap, keeping her close. His hand came to rest on her chest and she almost said something before realizing that he wanted to feel her heartbeat. Jenny put her hand over his and leaned her head onto his shoulder. Silent support was really all she could offer, because nothing could even begin to comfort a hurt like that.

At last Jenny took Gibbs' hand and placed it on her stomach. "I know nothing and no one will ever replace Kelly for you," she whispered, "and tonight this might not help. But just remember that someday, someone else will be calling you 'Daddy'."

Gibbs closed his eyes for a moment, the pictures he'd imagined earlier that day coming back to him. Before Jenny could think Gibbs' hands were cradling her face and his lips were on hers. Jenny pressed her palms to her husband's chest, not to push him away as he might've feared by the way he tensed and tried to keep her from moving, but to feel his heartbeat on her skin. She relaxed into the caress and the familiar yet always wonderful feel of his kiss.

They'd said 'I love you' many times and learned to say it a thousand different wordless ways in the months they'd been married, but very little compared to this - conveying thoughts and feelings by touch, being connected on an emotional level even deeper than the way they were together physically. It was raw and beautiful and just like always, it took Jenny's breath away.


	23. Chapter 23

When Gibbs and Jenny pulled into the church parking lot on Sunday morning, they were surprised that Abby was waiting for them by herself. Of late Tim had been coming with her, even if hanging with the bosses on the weekend was not completely in his comfort zone. He seemed determined to spend every spare second he could find by Abby's side.

"No McGee today?" Jenny asked when they got closer.

"No," Abby sighed, "I'm by myself." But before they could ask why, she turned around and started up the steps, waving them to follow. "Come on, we don't want to be late."

Gibbs' eyes narrowed. He'd seen the disappointment in Abby's face. If she and Tim had a fight he was blaming McGee and they'd be having words about him messing with Abby's happiness. Jenny took his hand and they followed their favourite Goth into the beautiful old stone building.

The service was interesting, a re-telling of the story of Noah and the ark complete with a drama by the children and teen classes, and a huge cardboard ark cut-out that nearly fell over more than once. A few of the kids forgot their lines and managed some hilarious ad-libs that the audience enjoyed. After, Gibbs offered an arm to both of his girls and escorted them out to the parking lot.

"We'll meet you there," he assured Abby, holding the door for Jenny. Once they were in the car, Gibbs turned to her. "If McGee's not here because they're fighting-"

Jenny cut him off. "Jethro, you cannot blame McGee automatically. Even if they are fighting it takes two to be in a relationship, and two to fight," she reminded him, thinking of their own disagreements. "Give her a chance to explain before you go assuming things and getting unsuspecting boyfriends in trouble they may or may not have earned." Gibbs frowned and glared at her but Jenny crossed her arms. "Don't look at me like that Jethro Gibbs. You will keep an open mind about this until we find out why McGee is absent today or I know a couch that would be happy to have you for the night."

The threat came across loud and clear and Gibbs huffed but said nothing. Sometimes is was the wisest course of action, especially if he wanted to sleep in his own bed tonight. He put the car in drive and they left for lunch.

Abby was already saving their table at the diner when they got in and Jenny smiled. "She's spent too much time watching you and Ziva drive if she beat us by that much."

Gibbs grinned, and he and Jenny settled across from Abby. Cathy returned with drinks for all of them moments later and they leaned back to give her space to put down the glasses. Out of her chocolate milk phase for now, Abby had decided on raspberry Frutopia today. One look from Gibbs had her shrugging.

"I'm branching out," the girl explained as if that said everything. She gestured at their drinks. "I went with coffee for the Bossman and orange juice for you Jenny, I hope that's okay."

Jenny smiled and sipped her juice. "It's fine, thank you Abby. They always have good orange juice here."

There was a few minutes of silence as the group flipped through their menus. Jenny went with a fruit and yogurt platter with toast on the side. Abby chose waffles with strawberries and whipped cream. Gibbs picked steak and eggs, taking homefries over the vegetable option while Jenny shook her head at him. Cathy came back with their orders in record time and then Jenny opened the conversation before Gibbs had the chance.

"So where is McGee today?" she asked.

Abby sighed. "He's at home working on his next book."

Jenny was surprised. "Didn't _Nine Lives_ just get published a couple months ago?" McGee had finished his third novel a few weeks after Jenny's kidnapping. The inscription had been dedicated to her, it was a touching gesture.

"Yes," Abby nodded, "but he's been thinking about number four for a long time. Tim called me this morning to say that he got some great ideas yesterday and was up half the night writing. He apologized for missing church," she shrugged, "and he sounded so excited. I didn't want to beg him to come."

"It's not always easy being apart, even for short periods," Jenny commiserated, remembering their first few months of marriage.

"I mean, I just saw him on Friday, but that was," Abby counted quickly, "over thirty hours ago. I like being with him." She twirled a piece of hair around her finger. "I miss him."

Jenny could feel her husband starting to get defensive on Abby's behalf and laid a hand on his leg. He looked at her and Jenny knew she'd managed to both calm and distract him all with one touch. "Have you been bowling lately Abby?" she asked. "I haven't heard how the team is doing so far this year."

A new topic of conversation was just what the dark-haired girl needed and she launched into an animated replay of their last game. Jenny smiled and nodded in all the right places and Gibbs just listened and watched, the heat from Jenny's hand on his thigh providing all the distraction he could handle.

**NCIS**

More than an hour later Abby climbed the stairs to her apartment slowly. The rest of the afternoon stretched out endlessly before her without anyone to share the hours. _Maybe I'll go over to Tim's and get Jethro_, she thought. _We'll go for a walk or come back here and watch a movie. At least I'll have something fun to do. And I won't distract Timmy...well, maybe a tiny bit, but only to go for coffee. He probably needs a break now if he's been writing all morning_. She was still pondering the idea when she unlocked her door and didn't even notice the room's extra occupant until she took off her coat. Abby's eyes fell on the couch and her face lit up like Christmas when she saw who was there.

"McGee!" Abby cried, running to him and Tim stood, bracing himself for the collision.

"Hi Abby," he smiled, hugging her back.

She let go of him and frowned. "What are you doing here?"

His eyebrows lifted. "What? Don't want me around?"

Abby rolled her eyes. "Of course I do. But...?"

McGee took her hand. "I'm here to take you Christmas shopping. Figured there might be a few last minute things you needed to pick up."

Abby's eyes brightened. "That sounds like fun. I thought you were writing today though."

He tapped his temple. "It's all up here, the ideas aren't going anywhere. And besides," Tim's thumb stroked her cheek, "no book is more important than spending time with you."

Her lips curved into a smile and she leaned forward to kiss him. Tim held her tighter and Abby's arms slipped around his neck. She pulled back and licked her lips. "I like the sound of that."

McGee fingered one of Abby's braids. "And I like the reward I get for coming up with the idea. But your present is a secret, no guessing allowed."

Of course, as soon as he said that Abby was already trying to think what it could be. She tugged him towards the door and looked back over her shoulder, "Thanks Tim."

He loved the happiness in her expression, loved even more that he was the one to put it there. McGee squeezed her hand. "Anytime Abbs."

**NCIS**

When Gibbs and Jenny got home, Jenny headed for the study and Gibbs announced that he had to make a phone call. She settled at her desk and reached into her briefcase on the floor, lifting out the soft covered blue book that had held her thoughts, feelings, and memories since the middle of October.

Opening to the last entry, Jenny smiled and ran her finger lightly over the fuzzy ultrasound image. _Our baby_, she thought again, a smile touching her lips. Turning to an empty page, Jenny picked up a pen and was about to start writing when she realized something was missing. She frowned, trying to pinpoint it. _Oh yes, tea_.

Hurrying into the kitchen, Jenny filled the kettle and plugged it in, then began setting out everything she needed for tea. She was reaching into the cupboard for a mug when two arms encircled her waist and she jumped. Curse her husband's stealth skills! It was going to give her a heart attach one of these days.

"Jethro!" Jenny scolded, trying to turn around. But Gibbs held her firmly against his chest, trailing soft kisses from her shoulder up the side of her neck. Jenny squirmed. "You can be as mmm...persuasive as you want," she started, gasping when he worked his hand under her shirt and ran his fingers lightly up and down her ribs. Not fair! He knew she was very ticklish there! Finally she succeeded in turning around and found his lips irresistibly close. Jenny kissed him slowly, holding his hands still. At last she was able to finish her thought. "But you still have to wait until tomorrow night."

Gibbs grinned wickedly. "You sure about that Jen?" He placed a few more kisses on her throat, then worked his way along her collarbone.

"Yes," she said firmly, though Jenny had a feeling her eyes were saying something completely different from the way he eyed her like a wolf watching his prey. She swatted him. "Stop that!"

The kettle clicked off and she turned around to pour the steaming water into her mug. Gibbs still hadn't let go of her and leaned forward to rest his chin on her shoulder, watching as she got her tea ready. Jenny elbowed him when she reached for the milk. "Do you mind?"

If possible, he got even closer, his warm breath on her neck sending shivers down her spine. "Nope," he said, completely unremorseful.

Jenny rolled her eyes and sipped the hot liquid to see if something was missing, then added more sugar. "You know, there's this new concept called personal space. Perhaps you've heard of it?" She cocked one eyebrow saucily.

Gibbs narrowed his eyes at her smiling lips on the mug of tea as if she was sipping it just to tease him. He took it from her, setting it on the counter, and covered her mouth with his. In no hurry at all Jenny leaned into the kiss, loving the supple softness of her husband's lips and the way he gently controlled the caress, deepening it slowly until she pulled away to breathe. Gibbs raised her left hand to kiss the back and pointed at her rings.

"Gave up your right to personal space when you said yes," he stated matter-of-factly.

"Is that so?" Jenny asked, rubbing her hands slowly down his chest and shifting closer to kiss his neck. "I don't remember that being part of the deal."

Gibbs closed his eyes and gripped Jenny's hips. "You're walking a dangerous line lady." Even if he had started it, Jenny's nearness was severely testing his self control.

"I believe there's a saying about playing with fire?" she reminded him with a smirk.

"You're lucky I have somewhere to be," he growled in her ear, letting his lips linger on her cheek.

"Plans Jethro?" Jenny asked curiously.

Gibbs brushed a piece of hair back and met her eyes. "Wouldn't you like to know?" Jenny held her mug again and merely looked at him. "Sorry, can't tell. It's a secret. Rule 4 you know."

"Using the rules?" Jenny asked, eyebrows rising. "This must be important."

"You're important," he murmured, moving in for another kiss, as usual unable to get enough of his wife. But Jenny used his distraction to slip out of his arms and lean against the doorway.

"I think you're trying to get a sample of dessert a day early," she smirked, "so I'm cutting you off."

Gibbs frowned. "That's just mean. It's almost Christmas, do you want to end up on the naughty list?"

Jenny bit her lip. That sentence could be interpreted too many different ways for her peace of mind. "Goodbye Jethro."

Rolling his eyes Gibbs looked at his watch and realized that even with his driving he was likely going to be late now. He hadn't expected to spend that much time flirting with his wife, but when he saw her standing there he couldn't resist. Gibbs was never any good at resisting the woman he loved, even when there were other things that needed to be done. The rest of the world could wait as long as Jenny was in his arms.

"Fine," he huffed, "I love you too."

"Baby," she grinned, then squeezed his hand as he walked past her to the front door. "I love you Jethro."

Gibbs looked back and shot her one of the grins he reserved only for her. "Me too Jen. Be good. No wild parties while I'm gone."

"I'll try to restrain myself," Jenny said wryly, watching him go before heading back to the study.

With a sigh she got comfortable in her chair again, but for the moment she'd lost her will to write. Looking for a distraction, Jenny pulled open her bottom desk drawer, hoping to find some of her and Rachel's old letters. Instead she found two hardcovered books and her face lit up.

"Oh, Mom's journals! I forgot I put them in here."

A couple months before she and Gibbs had been cleaning out the closet underneath the stairs and discovered several boxes of things Jenny hadn't seen in years. A few of them held her mother's possessions which Jenny's father had packed away a few months after his wife died, unable to deal with the memories of her all around him.

Jenny's eyes fell to the framed photo on her desk of Jenny and her mother in the garden, smiling at each other. A sudden yearning to hear Olivia's voice again filled her and Jenny picked up the top journal, opening it to a page a third of the way through the book.

_February 14, 1971. _The date was written in her mom's graceful hand and Jenny traced the letters with one finger, remembering all the lunch bags Olivia had written her daughter's name on, all the little notes she'd found tucked under her pillow or stuffed in the toe of her shoes.

"I miss you Mom," she whispered, blinking back tears. She didn't want to cry right now, she wanted to read her mom's thoughts, to recapture the lost sound of her favourite voice in the world.

_I received the most wonderful Valentine's Day gift this morning_, the entry began. _For weeks I've been sick with the flu, a nasty stomach bug that kept me home from the library several days and in bed for others. At least, that's what I thought_. Jenny read a pause there and could almost hear the smile that Olivia would've worn when writing this. She had a feelings she knew what was coming.

_But then a girl at work suggested there might be another reason for my sickness. I didn't want to believe her, didn't want to hope only to have it dashed, but my heart leapt at the possibility and I made a doctor's appointment. Dr. Farely called today after Jasper left for work and told me the news - I'm pregnant! Even now I'm so excited my hand is shaking and I can hardly write the words. I'm pregnant._

_What a gift this is, because after seven years of marriage I think both of us had given up hope of ever having a child. And yet here I am, already three months along. I can't believe it. It's like a dream come true. Every time I look down at my stomach I stare in awe, knowing there is a little life growing in my womb, even if there's no outward sign of that yet._

A mark marred the page and Olivia explained. _Look at me, I'm a mess! Crying just thinking about being pregnant, but I swear it's the hormones. Still, nothing has ever made me this happy. Jasper is a wonderful man and my darling child, don't even think that I don't love him with all my heart. But something has been missing from out life together and I know now that something is you. _

_I love you already sweet baby. I don't know yet if you're a boy or a girl, but if you're a girl, (and secretly, I hope you are even if Jasper would like a son), I already know what I'm going to call you: Jenny, after my grandmother. I cannot wait to meet you!_

Jenny set down the journal, tears in her own eyes after reading how happy her mother was to learn she was expecting. Looking at the ultrasound picture of her baby again, Jenny smiled softly and picked up her pen. The other stuff could wait, she knew exactly what she wanted to write now. _Dear Little One..._


	24. Chapter 24

Rachel paced in her apartment, glancing out the window at every pass. Gibbs' cryptic phone call repeated over and over in her head, making her all the more curious as she thought about it. Less than ten words but the suspense was driving her crazy. _I need a favour. Be there in twenty minutes._

It had been twenty-one minutes and Rachel was running out of patience. Then she saw Gibbs' car pull into a visitor spot in her parking lot. Grabbing her purse and keys, Rachel quickly locked her door, checked it (because she was mildly paranoid about locks), and hurried down three flights of stairs, meeting Gibbs before he even made it to the door of the building.

"So," she leaned against the wall and grinned, "what kind of favour are we talking about?"

Gibbs rubbed the back of his neck. "Jenny's Christmas present?"

Rachel's mouth fell open. "You waited until now, seriously?" Gibbs nodded, looking a little sheepish and she sighed. "Well, do you have any ideas?"

He held out a slip of paper. "It was Jenny's favourite book when she was little."

Reading the information he'd written down, Rachel smiled. "I remember this story. I used to read it to the kids at the library when I volunteered there in college." She frowned at the publishing date. "1968? It might be hard to find."

"That's where the favour comes in," Gibbs pointed out, crossing his arms.

Rachel thought a moment then snapped her fingers. "I know a place. It's this great old bookstore called Lost Pages. I found it on a back street when my directionally challenged-ness kicked in a few weeks ago. They specialize in first edition, vintage, and out of print books. Mr. Thane, the owner, knows every book in the whole store." She grabbed his hand and dragged him towards her car. "Come on, I'll drive. He closes early on Sundays."

Following reluctantly, Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Are we going to get lost?"

Rachel frowned at the assumption, then grinned, conceding that it was a likely possibility most of the time. "Not today," she said cheerfully. "I know how to get there now."

Gibbs got in the passenger side and looked around. "No maps?"

She looked at him like he was nuts. "Who needs maps? Awful confusing things, never could read them," Rachel explained. "It's my eighth grade teacher's fault. He wrote North on the blackboard and I've been convinced since then that North is always the direction I'm facing, so I'm always lost." She shrugged, ignoring Gibbs' groan. "The directions are all in my head now though, nothing to worry about."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Gibbs muttered.

Rachel pulled out of the parking lot and signaled to turn at the lights. "You're the one who asked for a favour," she reminded him. "And I rather like being the go-to person for you both."

"Fine," Gibbs said darkly, "but next time, I drive."

"Ha!" Rachel laughed. "No thanks, I'd rather arrive alive."

He glared at her. "What do you know about my driving?"

Rachel glanced at him. "Your wife is my best friend. I've heard it all."

He made a face, eyeing her warily. "You two are dangerous."

"Oh Jethro," Rachel grinned, speeding up a bit. "You haven't seen dangerous yet."

**NCIS**

Jenny was already working on supper when Gibbs got home. The trip had taken longer than he expected. Gibbs hadn't realized that going to a bookstore with Rachel also meant trailing her around while she discovered a few "treasures" and bought herself an armful of early Christmas presents. Mr. Thane had just smiled knowingly as if he'd seen it happen before. Gibbs got the feeling Rachel was a regular at the little shop, even if she had only known of it's existence for a month.

His wife smiled when he walked in. "Steaks are just waiting to go on the barbeque, there's baked potatoes in the oven." Jenny saw the way he looked at the salad she was making, just lettuce and diced Macintosh apples with a raspberry vinagrette dressing, and laughed. "Don't worry Jethro, the salad is for me."

Gibbs raised an eyebrow and she sighed. "Look, it's not that I don't want steak, it sounds good. But I don't think the baby is feeling it tonight. I've already spent some quality time with the toilet this afternoon and it's not an experience I care to repeat." She gestured to her salad. "So I'm going with something light instead."

He waited until Jenny put the knife down before turning her around to face him and linking his hands behind her back. "Sorry I wasn't here. You shouldn't have to go through that alone."

Jenny raised her hand to his face. "I'm not sorry. Morning sickness isn't exactly one of my most flattering moments."

"Jen," Gibbs said seriously, "I love you in all your moments, flattering or not. We've seen each other at our worst, our best, and everything in between." He moved his face to kiss her palm. "I love you Jenny Gibbs, on good days and bad days."

Jenny's heart melted and she stood on her tiptoes to touch her lips to Gibbs'. Taking advantage of the opportunity, Gibbs brought his hand up, cradling Jenny's face while he kissed her. Several kisses later Jenny leaned back against the counter.

"You're trying to distract me," she accused him with a smile.

"Is it working?" Gibbs asked hopefully. He could stand there and kiss her all night.

"Maybe. But the steaks aren't going to cook themselves and I highly doubt you want to share my salad."

He sighed. "Fine. But only because there's steak."

Jenny rolled her eyes and turned back to finish mixing her salad. Twenty minutes later Gibbs and Jenny were seated at the kitchen table, leisurely eating their supper. Gibbs sighed happily as he cut into his steak and took the first bite. He could eat this every day and be completely fine with it.

"Perfect," he smiled. Chewing a forkful of salad, Jenny eyed Gibbs' plate with envy. He raised an eyebrow. "Sure you don't want some?"

"Umm..." she looked indecisive, then met his eyes. "Just one?"

Smiling indulgently, Gibbs speared a piece of steak and held it out to her. Jenny leaned forward and let him feed her. Chewing slowly, she sighed. "You do make the best steak Jethro."

"Just one of my many talents," he smirked.

Jenny blushed and looked down, wondering what other talents he was hinting at. Delicately stabbing the apple pieces and lettuce, Jenny enjoyed some more of her salad. Rachel had made it a few weeks ago and it was Jenny's new favourite thing.

"How was your afternoon?" Gibbs asked a few minutes later, drawing her out of her daydreams.

Jenny shrugged. "Uneventful. Just some journaling and stuff. I started reading those old journals of my mom's," she offered, and Gibbs looked up, interested.

"Find anything good?"

"It's almost like hearing her voice again," Jenny shared, smiling a little. "I've missed that."

Gibbs put his hand over hers and squeezed lightly. "What's on tap for tomorrow?"

Pursing her lips, Jenny thought about it for a minute. "A couple of meetings, conference call with Hetty and Leon, and some new agent files to look over. You?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Just catching up on paperwork unless we get a case. I'm guessing Abby's going to invite us to the Christmas Eve service again though."

Jenny nodded. "I enjoyed it last year. Somehow going makes it feel more like Christmas."

Familiar silence invaded again but not in a bad way. When he was nearly finished, Gibbs looked up again. "Jen?"

"Hmm?" She found herself getting lost in her thoughts more and more easily lately, and tried to focus back on her husband.

"Do you feel any different now?"

She didn't understand. "Different how?"

"Almost 13 weeks," he elaborated. "Do you feel pregnant yet?"

Jenny rubbed her stomach gently, still as flat as it was before she got the news. "Not yet," she said a little regretfully, and then grimaced. "Except when I'm leaning over the toilet emptying my stomach. Then I know for sure that something is going on inside my body. I just can't see any proof so far."

Gibbs nodded understandingly but a little sadly. He wanted very badly to see Jenny obviously pregnant, to be able to proclaim to all who noticed that she was his wife and they were having a baby together. That news never failed to make him smile.

Jenny traced his fingers. "Why are you smiling?" Though it happened more often in the last year, she still liked to know the reason, especially if it involved her.

He shrugged. "I'm just happy Jen, that's all."

"That's all?" she repeated. "No Jethro, that is something to celebrate."

Gibbs held her gaze, telling her again 'I love you' without words, his favourite way to communicate. And then just like that the moment was over and it was back to the more mundane things of life. "So, dishes?" he asked at last.

Jenny shot him a dark look. "When Rachel isn't here, dishwasher."

He held up his hands in surrender. "Okay Jen. No arguments here."

Her expression relaxed and together they fit everything into the dishwasher and pressed 'start'. Gibbs looked at Jenny. "Okay if I spend some time in the shop?"

She smiled easily. "Sure."

"You don't mind?" Gibbs wanted to check because sometimes she felt ignored if he spent too much time alone in her dad's old workshop.

Jenny shook her head. "I've been working my way through those Celtic novels Dad collected for me. Some knights and ladies will be enough company for an hour or two."

"Okay." Gibbs kissed her temple. "Call if you need anything. I love you."

Jenny's smile grew. "Always."

Her eyes followed him out the back door, then she turned off the lights and headed for the library. It was cozy in the dark room, lit only by the glow of flames in the fireplace. Picking up the book she'd left on an end table, Jenny settled into a chair in the corner, propped her feet up on the footstool, and turned to the last page she'd read. It was a good night to spend with a book.

**NCIS**

When Gibbs looked up from his work, he was surprised to see that it was ten o'clock. He frowned. Had three hours passed that quickly? He'd been more caught up in his project than he thought. He'd finished some more details on Abby and McGee's wedding present and put in a lot of work on the crib. Gibbs hoped that maybe he could make it Jenny's New Year's present. He was more than halfway done. If he could sneak some time in the shop every day this week, it might just work.

Setting down his tools, Gibbs left the clean up for later and headed back to the house. The library was his first stop, and his concern that Jenny may have gone to bed without him died when he saw her asleep on the couch, an open book laying over her leg. Smiling, Gibbs stood and watched her sleep for a long time. Jenny never looked more peaceful than when she was lost in dreams free of shadows. He hoped tonight's were good ones.

Gibbs decided there was no point in waking her up just to go upstairs. So he bent down and slid his arms carefully under her body. It was a little bit harder to lift Jenny when she was just dead weight, but to his dismay Gibbs realized as he carried her up the stairs that since the last time he'd done this, she'd lost enough weight for him to notice the difference.

In their room he laid her on the bd and maneuvered the covers out from under her. Looking at the yoga pants and long sleeved top she was in, Gibbs figured she could sleep in that. Jenny shifted to her side as he covered her up, but didn't wake and he was glad. She needed the sleep.

Shedding his clothes, he lifted the covers and slid in behind her, tucking her against his chest. With a light touch he followed her curved under the covers and wished the difference wasn't noticeable. Gibbs kissed her shoulder. "Oh Jen," he whispered, "I just want you to be okay again."

But instead of dwelling on the negative and knowing she hadn't really done it on purpose, Gibbs slipped his hand under her top, resting his palm on her lower abdomen. He knew Jenny's body intimately, had touched and kissed every inch of it many times and she was right, it was still impossible to tell that inside her womb a life was growing, a child that they couldn't be happier about.

Nestling his head behind hers on the pillow, Gibbs breathed in the scent of her hair and tried not to worry about anything that had happened or what might be coming. Tonight he would just be thankful that they were together, that they loved each other, that it had been a good weekend, and that Christmas Eve was only one sleep away.


	25. Chapter 25

The morning had thus far been uneventful for the MCRT, so Gibbs took an extended coffee break and went to get something for lunch that he could share with his wife. Once back, he went straight up to Jenny's office, nodding at Cynthia on his way there.

"She in Cynthia?" he asked, and the woman nodded, eyeing him suspiciously. She always did that when he was the slightest bit nice to her. Gibbs kept his smile to himself. He enjoyed occasionally throwing people off by doing something unexpected. It kept them on their toes.

Entering the office without knocking, Gibbs happened to catch his wife at an unguarded moment. Sitting at her desk she was holding a report in one hand and a spoon in the other, slowly licking peanut butter off the utensil. He cleared his throat and Jenny looked up, dropping the spoon guiltily and trying to close her desk drawer before he noticed the jar of peanut butter.

Gibbs leaned down to kiss her and smirked. "You're lucky I like peanuts," he whispered. Jenny bit her lip and he kissed the tip of her nose. "Cravings Jen?"

She shrugged. "Maybe."

"There are worse ones."

Jenny looked at the bag and her eyes flickered to him hopefully. "Lunch?"

"Yes," he confirmed, but held it away when she reached for it. "What'll you give me?"

Jenny's eyes widened. "You already got a kiss, what more do you want?"

Gibbs considered his options. He already knew that what he wanted he couldn't have, so he settled for something he was more likely to get. "A hug and a kiss?"

She pretended to think about his request. "That's a pretty steep price just for lunch mister." He just stared at her and Jenny caved quickly. "Alright, fine. But only this once," she warned.

"Yeah," Gibbs murmured against her neck before claiming his prize, "that's what you said last time."

Jenny looped her arms around his neck and relaxed into the strength of her husband's body and the comfort of his arms. Sighing contentedly, she stayed in the embrace until Gibbs nudged her. "Food's getting cold."

Reluctantly Jenny pulled away. "Can't have that." She plopped down on the couch. "So, what'd you bring me?"

Gibbs chuckled and got out soup and fresh rolls from her favourite café. "Only the best. Considering all the snow, I figured something hot was in order today."

Jenny eagerly tugged the lid off one take-out bowl and inhaled the aroma of homemade chicken noodle soup. "This gets you five points at least."

"How many brownie points do I need for another kiss?" he asked in a low voice, sliding his hand over her thigh.

She gave him a sharp look and removed the offending appendage. "See that clock Jethro? It says this is lunchtime. Dessert comes after supper."

Giving a long suffering sigh, Gibbs reached for his spoon instead. "Fine. But you are taking all the fun out of being married and at work and in an office with a locked door."

Jenny smirked. "Give it up Jethro. You've had your fair share of taking advantage of that locked door. This time, you wait."

He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Well, dessert is always worth waiting for," Gibbs whispered.

Refusing to give in and look at him, Jenny blew on her spoonful of soup and smiled, thinking about tonight. She just hoped she was feeling brave enough then to offer everything he deserved for "dessert."

**NCIS**

By the end of the day Gibbs was more than ready to get home and get in the Christmas spirit with his wife. But when they saw Abby waiting with McGee by the elevator, he knew the day wasn't over yet. Abby clutched her black purse and looked them all over seriously as the team gathered to wait for a ride downstairs. She slipped her hand into McGee's and he smiled reassuringly.

"I know it's been a long day and all, but would you guys like to join me...us for the Christmas Eve service at church?"

Although worded as a question the group recognized the request for what it was, Abby wanting to spend some time with her "family" before Christmas. So without consulting one another, they agreed unanimously. The brightness of Abby's smile was worth it.

"Great! We'll see you there. It starts at seven o'clock."

That left them an hour. Abby and McGee headed for the stairs and Tony and Ziva hung back because Tony suddenly remembered he forgot something in his desk, so Jenny and Gibbs had the elevator to themselves. As it descended, Jenny saw Gibbs eyeing the emergency stop switch.

In a move that surprised him, she threw the switch and pressed herself against him, their mouths meeting and melding in a familiar and beloved dance. The kiss lasted until both ran out of air and then Jenny did it again quickly before stepping back to her place beside him and turning the elevator back on, looking very pleased with herself.

Gibbs surveyed her with raised eyebrows, his lips still tingling. "What was that all about?" Not that he was complaining, but it had been awhile since Jenny had felt the freedom to be spontaneous.

Jenny glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. "I need a reason to kiss my husband?"

He shifted closer and slid his fingers between hers. "Nope. Just wondering what I'd have to do for it to happen again."

Jenny bit her lip and focused on the numbers that were lighting up one by one. "That's the thing about surprises Jethro, you never know when they're coming."

Gibbs stepped behind her, weaving the rest of their fingers together and holding them over her stomach. "Well, just so you know, I'm game for a repeat anytime."

"Mmhmm," she said. "But if you don't move before the doors open the kids are going to get their own ideas about what we were doing in the elevator that made them have to take the stairs."

Sighing dramatically, Gibbs moved but didn't let go of her hand. As expected the team was waiting when the elevator reached the ground floor. Seeing the couple standing there normally, the kids exchanged "busted" looks and hurried for the exit. Gibbs and Jenny just laughed. Never a dull moment here.

**NCIS**

Christmas Eve night dawned cold and clear and starry with none of the predicted snowfall. Jenny loved the peacefulness of it, though she secretly hoped it would snow tomorrow. Nothing was more perfect than big fluffy flakes of snow falling on Christmas Day.

Smiling at the thought, Jenny leaned forward a little and looked down the row at some of the most important people in her life. Tony, the joker and the playboy. Though she hadn't seen evidence of it recently, Jenny knew he was well on his way to growing up. And she suspected it would have a lot to do with the woman sitting beside him.

Ziva. Jenny had to love the changes she'd seen in the Israeli woman since she'd come to NCIS as their Mossad Liaison Officer two years ago. She smiled more, her eyes were slowly losing the guarded look, and she was learning to trust them, learning to care. Granted, she still drove like a madwoman, threatened those who got on her bad side with injury or death, and had hair trigger reflexes. But seeing as that had probably saved all their lives on more than one occasion, Jenny was grateful.

Next was Tim. Mild mannered and eager to please, Jenny was glad now to notice more confidence when she looked at their resident computer geek. Though it was entirely possible that being in love and being loved back was a huge contributing factor to his rise in self-esteem. He was leaner too than he had been when they first met and his hair was growing out. But he was still loveable, teaseable McGee, and would always have a special place on the team and in their group.

Holding his hand and gazing at him adoringly from time to time was Abby. Black hair, dog collar, short skirt and braids, Jenny was fairly certain not much had changed about their Goth forensic scientist in the last two years. She was still Energizer Abby, enthusiastic and loving to a fault. She still talked a blue streak, put up with Gibbs' many demands, and held her own against the world at large. She was the glue that held them all together, the cement that insisted they belonged.

Because of her, because of all of them, Gibbs' team had truly become Jenny's family, and for that she would always be thankful. Leaning against her husband's shoulder, Jenny smiled. For one of the first times since October she was truly happy and finally, content.

**NCIS**

After the service ended, the group gathered at the bottom of the steps to say their goodbyes and confirm plans for tomorrow.

"One o'clock at the earliest Abby," Jenny warned, wanting to spend Christmas morning alone with her husband without having to worry about interruptions.

"Fine," Abby sighed, but brightened the next second. "I can't wait until tomorrow. Happy Christmas Eve everyone."

_Only Abby_, they thought, before returning the sentiment as McGee led her to his car.

"I wonder what his Christmas present is going to be," Tony mused, grinning, but Ziva flicked him before he could finish the thought. "Ow." He rubbed his arm and shot her a wounded look. "Lay off Ninja, I was only kidding."

Gibbs put his arm around Jenny, running out of patience. He wanted to be alone with her now!

Jenny felt the tension flowing from him and shook her head. "Shalom Ziva." She leveled a stare at her friend's partner. "Behave Tony."

Tony watched their bosses leave. Ziva looked at him for a moment. "I will see you tomorrow Tony." She turned towards her car. Tony's was closer and he opened the door, grabbed something, and jogged over to Ziva before she got in.

"Hey Ziva, wait a sec." Lifting an eyebrow in curiosity, Ziva waited.

Tony stood in front of her. "Look, I know you don't celebrate Christmas and I'm sure I missed Hanukkah, but I wanted to give you something anyways." He held out a slim, wrapped package.

Ziva frowned. "Tony, you did not have to..."

He smiled and put it in her hand. "You're my partner Zi, my friend. I wanted to. Just open it," Tony encouraged her.

Nodding her thanks, Ziva peeled off the paper and lifted the lid. Inside the box lay a very nice leather knife sheath. She raised her eyes to Tony's, smiling. Pressed into the leather was a Star of David. "It is beautiful," she said after a moment, taking it out and clipping the sheath to her belt. Ziva reached into her boot and replaced the knife in its proper place. "Perfect."

Tony shrugged self-consciously. "I know your old one broke a few weeks ago and I've seen you reach for it a couple times."

Ziva put her hand on his arm. "Thank you Tony. By the way," she smiled, "you did not miss Hanukkah. It does not end until the twenty-nineth this year." Then she opened her car door and reached between the seats. "I got you something as well." She held out the small square box. "I was not sure if it was the right kind."

Tony took the lid off his box. A maroon coloured silk tie was neatly folded inside. He lifted it out. "This is a great tie Ziva, thanks." He hugged her quickly and it was awkward, because as much as they invaded each other's personal space on a regular basis, they had never actually hugged. It was over before Ziva could think too much about it and Tony grinned.

"You know, if you want I could drive you to Gibbs' and Jenny's tomorrow." He shrugged. "It was just a thought."

Ziva wasn't sure why he offered, but decided there was no harm in them going together. "Alright Tony, thank you. What time?"

"Quarter after one?"

"I thought dinner was at two."

"Yeah, but you know Abby will be there by one and it's not fair to leave McGee alone with the bosses, though it would be funny to watch."

Ziva smiled. "So you do care."

His eyes grew very serious. "Yeah Ziva, I care." And suddenly she got the feeling his comment had nothing to do with McGee.

"See you tomorrow," she said quietly. "Merry Christmas Tony."

Tony smiled. "Happy Hanukkah Zi. See you."

He walked back to his car and Ziva reached for the sheath on her belt, smiling. It didn't happen very often, but sometimes Tony surprised her, and that was a very good thing.


	26. Chapter 26

When Gibbs and Jenny got home the house was dark, but the entry was lit with a small lamp they'd started leaving on after October. In the dim light Gibbs looked at Jenny who seemed to be trying to gather her courage. Moving closer, he looked her in the eye.

"Something on your mind Jen?" he asked huskily, hoping it was the same thing that was on his mind, and had been since she promised him dessert two days ago.

Making her choice, Jenny let a small smile creep across her face. "I decided you can have your Christmas present a little early," she informed him gravely. "But you have to wait down here while I...get it ready."

Gibbs' mouth went dry and he stood at the bottom of the stairs, getting more impatient with each second that passed. Jenny hurried up the stairs, unbuttoning her blouse before she even got to their room. She undressed by their bed and reached for the bags she'd stashed underneath.

Smiling, Jenny pulled out the lingerie she'd bought with Rachel on Saturday. She was already imagining the look on her husband's face. Slipping it over her head, Jenny enjoyed the way the silk slid down her smooth skin. In the bathroom Jenny washed her make up off and took her hair down, shaking it out and running her fingers through it. She added something over her negligee and approached the bed, taking a deep breath before she called her husband's name.

Gibbs bolted up the stairs at the sound of Jenny's voice and walked in the bedroom to see his wife lounging across the center of the bed. Her hair was down and looked messy as it fanned over her shoulders. Jenny's body was covered by a short green silk dressing gown.

Eyeing her appreciatively, Gibbs saw the hesitation in her eyes. Before October Jenny had often surprised him with new lingerie and a night of heated pleasure. Since October, it was usually him initiating intimacy and her responding positively or negatively. He wanted her to know he treasured the gesture, that he loved her for being brave, so Gibbs held her eyes, not looking anywhere else as he shed most of his clothes.

Emboldened by the pure, deep love she saw in his eyes, Jenny crooked her finger at him and Gibbs joined her eagerly. She leaned up on one elbow and waved to the tie at her waist. "Do you want to open your present now?"

Gibbs tipped forward and kissed her first and Jenny gladly let her mouth melt into his, smirking as Gibbs' fingers fumbled with the knot. As the "wrapping" fell away, Gibbs drew in his breath. "Wow."

She grinned. "Does that mean-"

He put a finger over her lips. "Love it," he answered quickly.

The dark red negligee Jenny was wearing complimented her eyes and made her hair shine like fire. Silky material hugged her every curve and the design left just enough to the imagination, making Gibbs want her even more. Taking in the look on his face, Jenny linked her hands behind her husband's neck while he drew her close and smiled as their lips met again.

"Merry Christmas Jethro," she whispered, giving herself up to the love they were about to share in the most tangible way. To be free to enjoy him this way was exactly what Jenny wanted for Christmas.

**NCIS**

It was six am on Christmas morning and Abby was standing outside McGee's apartment. She'd been up since five, too excited to sleep any more. Unlocking the door quietly, Abby heard padding pawsteps and knelt down to greet her favourite animal in the shadows. Jethro whined as he licked her face and nudged her arm, wanting to be pet. Abby kissed his head, ruffling the dogs' soft ears.

"Hi boy. Merry Christmas. Want to see what I brought for you? Of course you do." Jethro wiggled once he smelled something good and Abby playfully pushed him back. "Just a second. Gosh, at least let me get it out first." She pulled the big rawhide bone out of one bag and the dog eagerly nosed it. But Abby wasn't about to let him get off that easily.

"Sit," she commanded and the dog cocked his head at her as if questioning the order. Abby arched an eyebrow at him and pointed to the floor. "You heard me Mr. Former Army dog. Sit."

With a sigh Jethro plopped his butt onto the floor, tail beating against it like a drum. "Good dog!" Abby praised. "Now shake. Com on Jethro, shake."

The German Shepherd offered his left paw rather begrudgingly and Abby hugged him before finally giving his present over, untying the bright red ribbon she'd put on earlier. Jethro lay down contentedly on the floor and started gnawing on his bone. She smiled. Now for her boyfriend.

Slipping out of her winter boots, Abby grabbed the small wrapped box out of her collection of bags and tiptoed into McGee's room. She watched him laying in bed fast asleep and let her eyes drift towards the empty spot beside him. _Someday... _she thought longingly. Being able to share a bed with him every night once they were married would be worth giving up her coffin for.

Abby snickered silently as she thought about the last time she woke him up in the morning. He'd been so funny trying to figure out what she was doing in his bed. But she wouldn't do anything like that today. Her entrance was about to be very hard to ignore.

Running into the room, Abby jumped onto the double bed and announced loudly, "Merry Christmas Timmy!"

Her words and actions jerked McGee out of a sound sleep and he struggled to focus his eyes. The smiling Goth sat on his bed, looking at him expectantly. "Abbs?" he groaned, trying really hard to wake up. "What time is it?"

"Time to open your present," she said gleefully, holding out a small box.

In his mildly sleep deprived state, the only thing in Tim's head was a question, wondering where on earth she'd found black sparkly Christmas paper with a Santa hat wearing bat.

Abby pushed the box towards him again. "Open it right now Timmy," she demanded excitedly.

"Okay Abbs," he managed. "Just give me a second to wake up."

"Need help waking up?" she asked, leaning forward and pressing her lips to his.

Tim's hand came up and settled on her neck, his lips warm on hers as he returned her kiss.

When she pulled back, McGee's eyes were wide open and she smirked. "Awake now?"

McGee coughed. "Definitely." He grinned. "I could get used to that."

"You could..." she agreed, leaving the thought unfinished because it would only end with her all but begging him to ask her now and that wasn't fair. "Now open it." Abby pointed to the box that lay on the bed between them.

Tim reached for it and smiled at her, carefully lifting the taped edges. He pulled the box out of the paper and took the lid off. Inside, nestled in a mass of red tissue paper, was a solid, black metal bat keychain ornament. Tim smiled and picked it up, turning it over to find an inscription. Squinting, he was able to make out the small letters.

_For Timmy, so you can think of me. Love with all my heart, Abby._

His smile grew as he leaned over and kissed her softly. "Never need help thinking of you Abbs. You're always on my mind."

Abby touched his face gently. "You're as bad as Tony, quoting song titles." She kissed just the corner of his mouth. "But you're pretty cute."

"So you'll keep me?" he asked hopefully.

"Always," she grinned, resting her head on his shoulder.

Suddenly McGee sat up and reached into the drawer of his nightstand. "I almost forgot," he handed the flat object to her, wrapped in traditional Christmas paper and tied with a ribbon. "Yours. Merry Christmas Abby."

Her eyes lit up with anticipation and she studied the package carefully before tearing a strip of paper off. Abby started to smile and ripped the rest away. Inside was a custom made metal license plate - black with red letters. Their initials were together in a heart and the word, 'Always', that they often used in lieu of 'I love you', followed it.

Tim shrugged self-consciously. "You don't have to use it or anything, I like the one you have now. I just thought..." he trailed off when Abby shook her head.

"Silly Timmy," she whispered. "I love it."

They stared into each other's eyes for a long moment before slowly leaning in and tilting their heads as their lips met. Abby loved the feel of Tim's mouth on hers, soft and warm and yet firm as he gently controlled the kiss. She pressed closer, eager for more. She never got tired of his lips.

McGee fell back against the bed frame, glad for the extra pillows cushioning his head. But he could hardly think about that, not with Abby practically laying on top of him. His arms encircled her back and Abby's hands came up to frame his face.

Tim barely noticed his hands were wandering until Abby pulled back, looking at him curiously. Far from minding, she seemed to be enjoying any and all attention. He flushed and returned his hands to her waist, clearing his throat and looking away from the longing in her eyes. Where was that dang ring? he thought to himself. His patience was running out and all he wanted was more of this, more of her. But not yet, not when they were so close.

He let out a breath and gave Abby a half-grin. "Babe, we seriously need to continue this somewhere that is not my bed."

Abby no doubt could see in his eyes a reflection of what was in hers. She dragged her finger slowly down his cheek, not above teasing him a little bit more. "Fighting temptation McGee?" she asked, eyes sparkling.

Tim nearly groaned and held her hand still so he wouldn't think about what else she could be doing with those long fingers. "You have no idea," he choked out and Abby looked at him a moment longer before relenting and moving away. It was only then that he noticed what she was wearing. McGee's eyebrows rose. "You're still in your pyjamas?"

She glanced down at the bright blue flannel jammies spotted with white polar bears, then back at him. "What's wrong with them?"

"Nothing," Time shook his head quickly. "But, umm...you came over in them?"

Her expression suggested he was missing a fundamental aspect of Christmas by asking that question. "Christmas morning is for pyjamas Timmy," she shared seriously.

McGee fought the urge to laugh because Abby would probably hit him, so he smiled instead. "Of course, what was I thinking?" He kissed the side of her head. "You know what else Christmas morning is for?"

Though it was on the tip of her tongue to say making out with her boyfriend sounded like a pretty good idea to her, Abby decided to give him a break. "What?"

Tim put his arm around her. "It was tradition in my house when Sarah and I were growing up for my mom to make cinnamon buns after we opened our presents. It's one of my favourite memories. I have her recipe here, want to help me make them for breakfast?"

Abby's eyes widened in surprise. "You bake McGee?"

He grinned. "Oh, I'm just full of surprises Abbs."

She leaned into his shoulder and looked up into his eyes. "I can't wait to find out."

Tim wanted to kiss her again so badly, but knew it wasn't wise until they were at least in the kitchen. Still, looking at her now, in his arms, McGee couldn't help but be amazed. How was it that she loved him? How had he gotten so lucky that this amazing, beautiful, talented woman wanted to spend her life with him?

As soon as the ring came in, about two and a half weeks away by his count, they could start planning to have this every day for the rest of their lives. What a great way to start Christmas, Tim reflected, just hanging out with the woman he loved. Did it get any better than that?


	27. Chapter 27

Christmas morning found Gibbs and Jenny laying warmly together in their bed, still wrapped around each other just as they had been when their passion burned itself out in the wee hours of the night. Jenny stirred sleepily when the sun hit her face. They never remembered to close the curtains. She wiggled a little closer to her husband, smiling when his arms tightened around her like it was a reflex.

Her head was already resting on his shoulder and she didn't have to move much to start pressing kisses to Gibbs' chest. She counted four before his pulse sped up and the rhythm of his breathing changed. Even knowing he was waking up, the deep timbre of his voice still startled her a little when he spoke.

"If that's not an invitation then you really need to cut it out. Anymore of that and I'm not responsible for my actions."

Laying as close to him as she was, Jenny smirked when his body quickly caught up with his words. Sighing, she leaned her head back so she could look into his eyes. She almost wished she hadn't because Gibbs' desire was conveyed easily in his dark gaze.

Without leaving the shelter of his arms, Jenny shifted away and reached up to kiss his cheek gently. "Merry Christmas Jethro."

Gibbs covered a groan with a cough and slid his hand over to rest on her bare stomach. "Morning Jen."

She put her hand over his. "You've been doing that a lot lately." It was an observation, not a judgement.

He smiled. "Just waiting to feel a change." Pulling back the sheet, Gibbs started to lean down when Jenny suddenly remembered she was naked under the covers and grabbed the old gray wrap of her mom's off the bedpost to lay across her chest.

Gibbs stopped. "Jenny, why? What about being naked makes you so uncomfortable? You know I'm not going to hurt you. I won't even touch you if you ask me not to."

"I know," she said softly.

"We made love half the night and now you don't want me to look?" He truly wanted to understand her reactions so he knew what to do.

Jenny looked away. "When we're doing that I don't have time to think about being naked. But once I wake up I'm almost..." Her words trailed off and Gibbs frowned.

"Almost what, sweetheart?"

"Almost ashamed to have my body uncovered." Jenny's voice was so quiet that he barely heard her, but he did.

"Jenny, I don't understand. It's been weeks since our first time together, why is this coming up now?"

She frowned and blinked back tears as she rubbed her wrists. "Because I thought all the marks would be gone by now, I thought it would be like it never happened. But these stupid scars are still here and I still dream about it and everyone's worried because I've lost weight but I didn't do it on purpose Jethro! I'm just tired of everything."

Gibbs stared at his wife, her outburst had caught him completely off guard. Odds were some of it was because of the hormones but the rest was really true, really what she was struggling with inside. Jenny lay there with tears leaking onto her cheeks and turmoil in her eyes and Gibbs knew this was his to fix now that she'd let him in.

"Jenny," he called her name softly but she did everything except squeeze her eyes shut in an effort to avoid his gaze. "Look at me honey," he ordered gently.

After some hesitation, Jenny lifted her eyes to his.

"Jen, I don't know how many times you've heard this or how many times it will take, but I will say it every day if I need to." He leaned forward on his elbows and kissed two tears off her cheek. "I love you, Jenny Gibbs." He kissed the freckles on her nose. "You are beautiful to me." Her lips were next and Jenny closed her eyes against the tenderness she heard in his voice, but Gibbs waited until she looked at him before continuing.

Placing a trail of light kisses down the pale column of her neck, Gibbs smiled. "I admire your courage and your strength." His lips grazed her collarbone and then he slowly lifted the shawl, waiting to see if she would protest. "You can trust me." Gibbs picked up her hands, covering first one wrist and then the other with gentle caresses. "Always have, always will."

His fingers ghosted gently over her chest, his lips leaving soft butterfly kisses on each of her breasts. "I believe you are innocent and pure. Nothing about you id dirty or defiled because of what he did, and you have nothing," Gibbs stressed the word, "to be ashamed of."

Finally he reached her stomach, a place that until two weeks ago was still somewhere she didn't want his hands. But learning she was pregnant had started to change that. Now Gibbs lowered his head and pressed a long kiss just below her navel. "I want you to have hope to hold onto, that someday everything will be okay again."

Gibbs splayed his fingers across her stomach. "You are my beloved, Jenny. You and this precious child you carry. Please honey, believe me."

The few tears Jenny had cried before were multiplied by many as she listened to him recite the words he'd given her in a poem two months ago. She reached for her husband and Gibbs gladly met her lips with his. "I love you," she whispered. "I don't know how I ended up so blessed as to have you love me this much."

"You got it all wrong Jen," He murmured against her warm skin. "I'm the one who's blessed."

Then there were no words because they had no breath left to speak. Gibbs' lips claimed Jenny's and his fingers trailed over every curve, every inch of skin, wordlessly confirming to his wife that she was beautiful, treasured, loved. When at last they broke for air, Jenny's smile was back and Gibbs decided it was high time for her to open her present.

"I got you something," he announced solemnly, reaching for the bag on the floor beside the bed. "But you might have to share it with the baby, eventually."

As Jenny held out her hand for the bag, interest flaring in her eyes, Gibbs kissed her shoulder and spoke in a low voice against her neck. "Did I tell you how much I enjoyed my Christmas present?"

She tilted her head to the side. "I don't know. Considering how you just tossed it on the floor I'm not sure what to think-" Anything else she was about to say was cut off by Gibbs' mouth possessing hers again. When he pulled away Jenny smiled, lowering her eyelashes to give him a flirty look. "Okay. But you can always tell me again."

That led to more kissing and Gibbs held onto the festive bag, but Jenny finally managed to pull it out of his grasp. She slid into a sitting position to open her gift and was immediately hit with a wave of nausea. She closed her eyes and held perfectly still, taking small breaths as she willed it to go away.

Gibbs hesitated, then rubbed her back lightly. "Jen?"

"Just give me a minute," Jenny said tightly, and Gibbs knew she was either in pain or trying not to be sick.

More for something to do than anything else, he got up, grabbed boxers, and went to get her a glass of water. On the way back he dropped her red negligee onto the bed. By the time he was settled back against the pillows, Jenny's nausea had passed and she pulled the silk nightie over her head, smiling at him gratefully. Sometimes she didn't mind him looking, but if he was just going to sit there and stare at her, he may as well have something else to look at.

Reaching for the water he held, Jenny took a few sips. "Thank you Jethro." She fingered the tissue paper in the bag. "Can I open it now?"

Gibbs nodded, he was really hoping she'd like it.

Tugging the thin paper out let Jenny look inside the bag and her eyes widened when she saw what it was. Blinking back tears, she reached in and picked up a thin red children's book. "Corduroy," Jenny smiled, tracing the yellow letters with her finger, looking at it like an old friend. Her eyes were shining when she met his gaze. "Jethro, this was my favourite book when I was little. How..?"

"I know," Gibbs said smugly, grinning. "I thought this could be the start of our collection for the baby. Oh, and in answer to your question," he shrugged, "Rachel."

Jenny rolled her eyes. "Should've figured." She set the book carefully aside and put her hand on his neck, drawing him close. "Thank you honey, I love it."

"Merry Christmas Jen," he whispered.

Gibbs' hands slid around her waist and when he kissed her Jenny practically melted into him. She returned the kiss with gentle passion and Gibbs let his hands wander up her back and down her sides. One kiss became several, some short, and some long, until both husband and wife were breathless. When Jenny pulled back and looked at him with love and tenderness filling her eyes, Gibbs decided the search for her present had been totally worth the effort.

Jenny sighed contentedly and leaned against her husband's broad chest while he played with her hair, happy just to be with him, to share the closeness she so often missed these days. It was a long time before she moved away to check the clock.

"I suppose we should have breakfast, even if it is only a few hours until lunch," she said at last.

He smoothed one hand down her arm. "That means we have to get out of bed."

"Yes Jethro," Jenny laughed. "That part was actually inevitable."

Gibbs sighed as if she'd just told him the world ran out of coffee. "Fine."

"Aren't you hungry?" Jenny asked, getting out and pulling the covers on her side flat.

She knew as soon as she felt the heat of his gaze on her body that she'd asked the wrong question. A moment later he held her from behind and spoke the words into her neck. "Some things I never get enough of Jen." Gibbs kissed her shoulder. "I think I'm addicted to you."

Jenny turned to face him, looping her arms around his neck. "There could be worse vices." She kissed one corner of his mouth. "Is there a cure for this addiction?" She placed a small kiss on the other side of his mouth and waited to see if he'd be able to form a complete sentence.

Gibbs groaned and gently pushed her back onto the bed. Jenny rolled her eyes. "We just made it."

He rested part of his weight on her, pausing to see if that would make her nervous. But Jenny just kept looking at him with those beautiful green eyes he dreamed about, and Gibbs lowered his mouth to hers. She tasted sweet, her lips soft and yielding under his and he savoured every second.

"I love you Jenny," Gibbs whispered, dropping down to kiss her neck and collarbone, then moving lower and leaving a trail along the bodice of her lingerie.

Jenny arched underneath him, enjoying the attention immensely, but their time was ticking down and she would at least like to be showered and dressed before the team arrived, preferably not looking like she'd spent the morning making out with her husband.

"Jethro," she tried to tell him they needed to get ready, but at every word he interrupted her with his lips. "Don't - have - time - to - do - this - again." Gibbs finally pulled away and frowned, wondering about her meaning. "Not that it wouldn't be fun," she assured him, in no way trying to actually get rid of him. "But the kids are going to be here in less than two hours and things need to be done." Jenny trailed her fingers down his back and he made a face before moving off of her and helping her up.

"Okay," Gibbs agreed reluctantly, leaning in to kiss her once more. "But just so you know, staying in bed would've been so much more fun."

Jenny pressed her lips together, trying to contain her smile. "For once, we agree." She brushed her fingers against his hand. "Come on Jethro, let's get breakfast."

Neither bothered getting dressed, though Jenny did pull her white, terrycloth robe over her nightgown, realizing downstairs would be several degrees cooler than their bedroom. Gibbs' concession was an old t-shirt and sweatpants. As they headed out the door, Jenny glanced up and then kissed her husband slowly. So she'd noticed the mistletoe he'd hung yesterday. Gibbs smirked. It was actually kind of rewarding to be on the receiving end.

Jenny's eyes twinkled as she walked past him and Gibbs followed her downstairs, never straying far from her side. They kept breakfast simple, just bacon, eggs, and toast while they exchanged heated, meaningful glances that Tony might've dubbed "eye sex" if he'd been around to catch them at it.

Then Jenny switched on the radio and stared cleaning up while Gibbs checked the turkey Noemi had put on the previous night while they were away. Together the couple peeled and cut potatoes that would be put on to simmer and later get mashed when they were ready. Jenny also set out a bowl of frozen peas to thaw and glanced at the clock.

"You know who is going to be here in half an hour," she reminded her husband.

"Hard to keep Abby away from Christmas parties and adopted family Jen," he said, shrugging as if there wasn't anything he could do about it.

"What are we going to do with them until dinner is ready?" The last time Gibbs checked for her, the turkey was nearly thirty minutes behind schedule.

"Jen," Gibbs rinsed the vegetable peeler and knife off in the sink, "you know Abby or Tony are going to suggest a snowball fight or making snowmen or heck, maybe even snow angels out in the yard before anyone has a chance to get bored."

Jenny chuckled. "Of course. How silly of me. It is the 'kids' we're talking about."

When there was nothing else that had to be done, Jenny stood up on tiptoes and whispered something in her husband's ear before grinning and hurrying upstairs. Two minutes later Jenny was in the shower, not at all surprised to find herself with company only seconds after she'd turned the water on. Gibbs and Jenny took turns washing and caring for each other, then Jenny decided to return the attention he'd been lavishing on her.

Letting her fingers slide down past his hips as she kissed his chest, neck, and cheek before surrendering her lips to his, Jenny put her hands to good use. At first Gibbs tensed. Jenny didn't touch him like that as much any more, but it soon became clear that she was still very good at it. The temperature in the shower rose but it had nothing to do with the heat from the water. Finally, both clean and happy, though for slightly different reasons, they got out and took their time getting ready for company.

It was amazing how much they could communicate without words. Love flowed between them conveyed only by looks and touches. Body language clearly showed their comfort level with each other, and nothing could prevent the smiles they finally stopped trying to hide.

Jenny's eyes were free of shadows and Gibbs' heart felt lighter every time he so much as glanced at his wife. It had been a perfect morning. He wouldn't change a thing and Gibbs hoped the rest of their day went just as smoothly. He needed some happy memories to attach to Christmas again and he wanted them to be with Jenny and his family. Yes, it was definitely going to be a good day.


	28. Chapter 28

The doorbell rang at exactly one pm and Jenny grinned at her husband, shaking her head as she wiped her hands and went to answer the door. It could only be one person. "Hello Abby," she said.

Abby and McGee stood on the front step, one carrying a bowl, the other a covered container. Jenny looked at it curiously and Abby answered. "Cinnamon buns Dir...umm, Jenny. We made them this morning." She grinned. "They are so good!"

Gibbs came up behind Jenny and put his hand on her shoulder, glaring slightly at the pair, suspicious of how happy Abby looked. The dark haired girl handed the bowl to Tim and put her arms around Gibbs' neck. "Stop glaring at my boyfriend Papa Bear, he's been a perfect gentleman."

Gibbs sighed and hugged her back. "I'm glad you're happy Abs."

"I'll be happier when he finally asks me," she whispered, trying to hide her grin at the look on Gibbs' face. He was so protective! Sweet, but very funny especially since the object of his stare was McGee, who didn't have a sneaky bone in his body. What was Gibbs going to be like when they were married?

"Merry Christmas Jenny!" Abby squealed, turning to hug the redhead.

McGee shook Gibbs' hand and smiled at Jenny. "Thanks for the invite Director."

"Jenny," she reminded him and McGee blushed.

"Jenny," he agreed a little awkwardly. Even after months and many declarations of being family, it was still strange to Tim to be hanging out with his bosses, to consider them friends and more.

Gibbs and Jenny stepped back so the younger couple could enter and Abby took the white bowl back from McGee. "Here's my cousin's cranberry sauce that I told you about Jenny."

"Great, thanks Abby," Jenny smiled. "Come with me and you can put it in the kitchen. We've just about got everything else ready."

"Can I help with anything?" Abby asked, following Jenny slowly as she looked around. She'd never been inside the Director's house before.

McGee watched the women go with longing, because with them went his buffer. He shifted from foot to foot and looked uncomfortably at Gibbs. Unsure what to say, Gibbs turned and waved at the junior agent to follow him. "Let's gt some firewood Tim. Livingroom's a little chilly."

Glad for something to do, McGee trotted after his boss. Two arm loads later the doorbell rang again and Tim couldn't remember the last time he was that happy to see Tony. Jenny opened the door to find the partners arguing about whether it was a good idea or not to show up so early. Their words ceased when Jenny cleared her throat.

"Merry Christmas Jenny," Tony grinned, and Ziva rolled her eyes at him before stepping into the house.

"Shalom Jen," she greeted her friend, kissing both cheeks.

"Happy Hanukkah Ziva, baruch haba," Jenny smiled, then turned to Ziva's partner. "Tony, please make sure Jethro doesn't set my livingroom on fire. Ziva, do you want to join Abby and I in the kitchen?"

Ziva held up her still warm package. "I used my Aunt Nettie's recipe to make buns. I hope they are alright."

Jenny tucked her arm in Ziva's and lead her to the kitchen. "Trust me, they'll be a hundred times better than if I tried to make them."

The Israeli woman laughed as she remembered the only meal her friend had attempted to cook when they first became partners. It had not been a success and from then on, Ziva had elected to do the cooking.

Tony took a few steps into the livingroom and while McGee watched Gibbs light the fire, he glanced around, noticing the lack of Christmas decorations. Someone, probably Jenny or her housekeeper, had arranged some garland on the mantle, but it looked out of place with no tree or candles or Nativity scenes or lights to compliment it. Still, it didn't really surprise him. Gibbs probably hadn't actually celebrated Christmas since his wife and daughter died.

What Tony didn't know but would give a lot to see, was that Gibbs had revived last year's mistletoe tradition and seen to it that the green leaves had been fixed in the doorway of their bedroom and in a few other choice locations as well. Jenny hadn't noticed them all yet, but he was willing to rectify that. Later of course, when there weren't extra eyes around.

Looking for a way to be useful, Tony took the presents he and Ziva had brought and snagged bags he assumed belonged to Abby and McGee, and began arranging the colourful packages and bags on the coffee table. Suddenly he remembered something and snapped his fingers.

"Drat. Left dessert in the car. Be right back!"

He was gone like a flash and back just as fast, balancing a gourmet cheesecake from his favourite restaurant, which he delivered into the womens' capable hands. Then Tony was back to his favourite part - surreptitiously shaking and tapping and feeling out presents, trying to guess what they might be.

Gibbs turned around and caught him doing it. He was just about to headslap Tony when the doorbell rang for the third and last time. Gibbs hurried to answer it so Jenny wouldn't have to and found Ducky and Jimmy. They walked into the house stomping their feet and shaking the chill off.

Ducky held up the large bowl in his hands and smiled at Jenny, who had come forward to greet them. "Turnip my dear, just as you requested." He turned to Jimmy. "Did you remember the drinks Mr. Palmer?"

Jimmy nodded at the bag on the floor beside him as he unlaced his boots. "Right here Doctor."

Together they followed Jenny into the kitchen and then Jimmy was dismissed to join the men while Ducky checked to make sure there was nothing else requiring his assistance. When everything was ready, the kitchen group left to join the others and all got comfortable in various positions in the livingroom. They all looked at each other for a moment, as if unsure what came next.

Suddenly Tony and Abby blurted out ideas almost on top of each other.

"We should make a snowman-"

"Let's have a snowball fight-"

They exchanged looks and laughed. Gibbs and Jenny smirked and shared a glance. They'd so called that earlier, certain Abby would suggest it almost as soon as she arrived. Immediately the others started voting and voicing opinions until Gibbs whistled sharply and held up his hands.

"Snowman," he approved to Abby's delight.

Tony crossed his arms and muttered. "Favourite."

Jenny noticed and put a hand on his shoulder. "Only because there's not time to do both without skipping dinner." The mention of food made Tony glance longingly towards the kitchen. "But no one said we couldn't do it later."

Tony's grin reappeared. "With hot chocolate and dessert after?"

"I think that can be arranged," the redhead nodded and Gibbs rolled his eyes.

"Who's the pushover now?" he whispered in her ear, but Jenny just smiled.

Everyone trooped out into the entry and tried not to trip over each other as they found their things and got bundled up to go back outside.

Ziva leaned over to Tony as they filed out. "We are making a man out of snow?" She didn't understand.

Tony was aghast. "You've never made a snowman before Ziva?"

She gave him a look. "We do not have snow in Israel Tony."

"Oh yeah, right," he got it now. "Well, this is your lucky day Ms. David. Let's start over here." He led her to a nice deep patch of snow. "Ziva and I've got to the middle," Tony hollered to the others, all broken up into pairs to work on the snowman's other sections.

Gibbs and Jenny took the bottom, Ducky and Jimmy the head, and Abby dragged McGee around the yard looking for proper snowman decorations. Ziva watched in amusement as Tony rolled a small ball of snow around several times. When it got larger she began helping and they made their way over to Gibbs and Jenny. Meanwhile Abby and McGee were scrounging up enough stones for buttons. An oak tree caught Abby's attention and she immediately started looking carefully.

"What Abby?" McGee asked.

"We can use acorns for eyes Timmy," she announced excitedly, smiling in triumph when she found the two she needed. McGee hugged her, glad to see her so happy.

"Jenny!" Abby yelled across the yard. "Do you have any carrots?"

"Check the fridge," Jenny called back, giving Gibbs a look that said she should've seen that coming. They helped Tony and Ziva seal the cracks between the middle and bottom snowballs as Ducky and Jimmy secured the head.

"Hold it still Mr. Palmer!" Ducky said as he patted down some more snow.

Jimmy rolled his eyes. Did Dr. Mallard really think he'd never build a snowman before? "Yes Doctor," he said patiently.

"Found Frost the Third's nose!" Abby proclaimed cheerfully as she joined them from the house.

"Frosty the Third?" Jimmy asked curiously.

"In honour of Tony," Abby nodded.

Tony grinned, even if he wasn't at all certain what 'the Third' had to do with him. "Thanks Abbs. But don't think I'm going to take it easy on you in the snow war later."

"You're going to eat my snowflakes Tony," Abby chortled, and Ducky stood up, breathing hard from the exertion.

"Now children, let's just get our project finish. I can almost hear that turkey calling my name."

With McGee holding everything she'd collected, Abby began painstakingly decorating their snowman. Finally she stood back, then frowned. "Something is missing..." She looked around and her eyes lit up as she took in Ducky's attire. "Duckman, can Frosty the Third have your hat, just for a little while? You can take it back later."

Ducky thought very seriously about the request before finally taking off his hat and handing it over. He was quite fond of that particular hat, but as long as Abby didn't insist that Frosty was keeping it, he could be without it briefly. Abby positioned the hat on their snowman's head and grinned.

"Ta-da! Great work gang, he looks fantastic." Then she saw the scarf Jenny had insisted Gibbs wear. She bit her lip and pointed. "Please?" Without a word Gibbs took the scarf off and watched a delighted Abby wrap the red plaid length of material around Frosty's mostly non-existent neck. "Perfect," she declared.

Tony shivered. "Great. He's dressed. Can we go inside now? I'm starving."

Ziva eyed him incredulously. "Are you ever not hungry Tony?"

"Only when I'm sleeping," he shrugged, and they followed the rest of the team back inside Jenny's house.

Outdoor clothes were stripped off and put away and Jenny and Ziva hurried ahead to add a few finishing touches to the table before the rest of the group piled into the diningroom and shuffled around trying to find seats. Gibbs sat at the head of the table with Ducky at the other end. Jenny sat to Gibbs' left, Abby to his right with McGee beside her and Ziva on the end of the row.

On Ducky's right was Jimmy and next to him, Tony. Gibbs had long since discovered that nothing could keep the partners from fighting or annoying each other but having them on opposite sides of the table limited the possibility of what they could do without breaking something.

Jenny smiled as she looked around at the people sitting with her. The diningroom had done little more than collect dust over the last thirteen years since her father died and parties were no longer a regular thing at the Shepard household. But now it had been opened again and aired out, and Jenny had a feeling that the room would be getting much more use in the months and years ahead.

Ducky cleared his throat. "A toast," he began, holding up his glass of cranberry juice, but Abby jumped up before he could say anything else.

"Oh Ducky, can I do it?"

The older gentleman smiled and inclined his head in her direction. "Of course Abigail."

Abby grinned and raised her glass, letting her gaze settle on Gibbs and Jenny before it moved to each person at the table. "To family."

The group returned her smiled and repeated it enthusiastically. "To family!"

Glasses were clinked all around and then Gibbs began the mal by passing the potatoes. It was a fun, lively time as the group talked and laughed and teased. Jenny couldn't keep the smile off her face as she watched her friends enjoy spending the day together.

Occasionally Gibbs would touch her hand or catch her eye, and she could read the happiness he did not try to hide. Jenny often rested her hand on his leg, glad to just be able to reach out and touch him, to know he would be there. She looked across the table, trying to be discrete as she observed Abby and McGee talking with their eyes, how Abby would lean in close to whisper in his ear. Half the time Jenny was pretty sure McGee was holding Abby's hand under the table because he was eating a little awkwardly with his right hand.

Tony and Ziva seemed to be in a contest as to who could ignore the other one the longest. Ziva listened intently to Ducky's stories and Tony was regaling Palmer with a scene by scene description of the 1949 version of A Christmas Carol and explaining why the entire thing was genius. To everyone's surprise, far from trying to escape, Jimmy seemed to be very into Tony's monologue, listening with rapt attention.

"Great," Gibbs muttered, "that's only going to encourage him."

Jenny shook her head. "Jethro, just be happy he found a friend."

The team opinion about dinner was unanimous.

"This is fantastic Jenny," Tony declared, taking his second helping of turkey.

"Noemi is the one who made it Tony, I just took it out of the oven," Jenny demurred.

"Well, I owe Noemi a big hug when I see her then," Tony replied.

"Ziva, I don't know what you did to these potatoes, but they are amazing," Abby reported, looking past McGee to smile at her friend.

"Family secret," Ziva said mysteriously.

Jenny took a forkful of turnip and sighed happily. "You're my favourite Ducky. They're perfect."

"Mother's influence," Ducky explained modestly. "Without her I never would've learned to cook."

"And our holidays would never be the same," Tony put in.

"Good rolls Ziva," Gibbs nodded, and the Mossad Officer's face lit up like she'd been paid the world's highest compliment.

Finally everyone was stuffed and leaned back in their chairs, relaxing in the drowsy, after Christmas dinner contentment that filled the room. Ducky, who was never one to let silence linger long, finally spoke.

"How about we all share our favourite Christmas, or Hanukkah," he smiled at Ziva, "memories?" Each person nodded and Ducky smiled. "Good. I'll start. I have fond memories of Christmases spent in Scotland when I was a lad, but one in particular stands out."

The team listened then as Ducky went on to describe a year when his family was snowed in and couldn't get any of the traditional Christmas food or trimmings. But being together, sharing a simple meal over candlelight with his mother and father there and his baby sister sleeping in the cradle by the fireplace had been something he never forgot.

"It's who you spend the day with that makes it special, not what you have to eat," he concluded, and Ziva folded her arms on the table before quietly sharing her memory.

"I remember the Hanukkah celebration when I was twelve years old. It was the last night and all three of us, my siblings and I, were waiting to receive our gifts. My father stood and solemnly said the prayer over the candles as he lit them one by one, Ima sat beside him holding Tali on her lap and my brother held my hand as we listened."

"Then we sang Ma'oz Tzur, which in English is your hymn Rock of Ages. Finally it was time. Each of us were handed a different sized box. At the time I was disappointed because mine was so small, but when I lifted the lid I found that I had been given the most special gift, and one I treasure to this day."

Ziva pulled her gold Star of David necklace out of her shirt and smiled. "This belonged to my mother and I always loved it. I used to sit in her lap and trace the star over and over, watching how it sparkled in the sunshine or candlelight. I never thought," she blinked and swallowed, "...for her to give it to me was a sacrifice and an act of love. That I will never forget."

A sacred hush descended on the room as the others pictured the scene she described. All knew better than to ask any questions about Ziva's past, but the look in Gibbs' eyes told Jenny he knew something they did not, something that made Ziva's memory even more significant.

Across the table Jimmy cleared his throat. "What I was seven I came downstairs to find a golden retriever puppy in a basket, wearing a red ribbon and waiting for me." He smiled. "I named him Kringle, you know," Palmer elaborated," after Kris Kringle? Anyways, he was the softest thing I'd ever felt and the best present I ever got." He pushed his glasses up. "Kringle died during my senior year in high school, but I'll always remember him as the best friend I had."

Tony looked like he was going to say something but just clapped Jimmy on the shoulder instead. On the other side of the room McGee began his memory. "Christmas was always a good day at our house, but I was an only child for a long time and even after Sarah was born, it was years before she was old enough to understand the holiday."

He paused. "So the year she was five I had just turned seventeen a few months before and had a part-time job. I finally had money to spend on her. I'd looked for weeks trying to find this doll she'd seen on a commercial and begged for at every opportunity. But no matter how many stores I went to, no one had it. I was so disappointed because by Christmas Eve I still didn't have a present for her and I wanted my little sister to have something special for the first Christmas she'd really remember."

"Well, that night I was looking through my closet and found a box of my old toys. At the bottom was my favourite teddy bear from when I was small. He was still in pretty good shape so I decided to wrap him up and give him to Sarah." Tim smiled as he thought about that night and Tony had to bite his tongue to keep from teasing his probie about having childhood toys in his closet. _Bet he still has them_, Tony grinned, filing the thought away for later.

"The next morning when she opened my present, Sarah was so excited to have my old teddy. She promptly named him Brother Bear and they were best of friends from that moment on."

Tony had just been itching for his turn. "When I was twelve my father threw a huge Christmas party for all his business partners and their families on this luxury yacht. The food was amazing and a couple of the other kids were acquaintances of mine. We spent the evening stealing drinks from the adults and pulling pranks on the staff. It was great." He grinned. "Snitched one of my dad's cigars too and tried smoking it, but that didn't go so well. Never had the urge to smoke again. Later in the evening we sang Christmas carols and got expensive presents. Not a bad holiday."

He leaned back in his chair with a satisfied smile on his face. If anyone else at the table noticed anything lacking in Tony's memory, they were gracious enough not to mention it. Abby was next and she smiled.

"Occasions were always interesting in a household with two deaf parents and two hearing kids. Aiden and I played Christmas music at top volume and dressed in the most Christmas-y clothes we could find. Gloria made cookies and my dad got a tree. But the best part of the Christmas I was fourteen was when our pastor asked me to sign for the Christmas Eve service at church. It was an honour to be asked. My favourite part to sign was the carols. Nothing looks more beautiful than a group of people singing with their hands. It was amazing." Abby smiled in remembrance, then turned to Gibbs. "What about you Papa Bear? What's your best?"

Gibbs hesitated, seeking Jenny's eyes. If he shared what was truly his best Christmas memory, it would affect her and he didn't want to do anything to ruin his wife's happiness today. But Jenny already had an idea of what was going on in her husband's head and nodded slightly, encouraging him. Gibbs cleared his throat.

"I remember the Christmas after Kelly was born," he started, and the room went so still a pin dropping would've been loud. "We decorated the house, got a tree, wrapped presents - we wanted everything to be perfect, even if she'd never remember any of it."

A faraway look came into his eyes that they all recognized, and Jenny tightened her grip on his hand briefly. "On Christmas morning Shannon sat on the couch holding Kelly and I thought," he squeezed Jenny's hand, willing his words not to hurt her because his life with her was something new and not just a reflection of what he'd shared with his first wife, "I thought it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw. I was a husband, a father. I'd never felt more important, or more like I'd accomplished something than when I looked down and saw Christmas reflected in my baby girl's eyes."

Stunned silence followed his memory, because no one present had ever heard him say that much at one time before. But Gibbs' eyes were only for Jenny, watching her reaction to his memory. Though he saw a tinge of sadness in her green gaze, the love in Jenny's eyes overshadowed anything else. He knew they'd probably have to talk later, but for right now at least, it felt like they were okay.

Abby cleared her throat and broke the moment, but it was impossible to tell who made the noise. Everyone at the table was reluctant to interrupt, but just by being there they felt like they were intruding on something very private between Gibbs and Jenny.

"Jennifer? I believe it's your turn," Ducky prompted gently.

Jenny tore her gaze from her husband. "My favourite Christmas?" she repeated, meeting each pair of eyes. "This one," Jenny said slowly. "Right now, all of us together - this is the best Christmas."

Grins became contagious around the table. It was hard to argue with that.


	29. Chapter 29

By the time the group finished sharing their Christmas memories, Abby had enough of sitting still. "So, who's up for a snowball fight?" she asked brightly.

Laughter burst out around the table but it was clear that Abby was completely serious. "I'm in," Tony agreed. McGee was a given, he'd do almost anything she asked, within or without reason. Ziva looked at Tony like she would enjoy the competition and Jimmy instinctively wanted to know what Ducky was doing.

"Not this time I'm afraid," the ME said reluctantly. "But I'll be happy to referee."

All eyes shifted to Gibbs and Jenny. Gibbs stared at them for a moment, then shrugged. "Gear up."

The familiar words propelled them all into action, but Gibbs snagged Jenny's arm, holding her back. "Do you think you should Jenny?" he asked, concerned. "Maybe it would be better if you sat this one out."

Jenny read into what he wasn't saying, about the baby, but she brushed off his worry. "I'll-we'll be fine Jethro." She grinned. "I'll just be quicker than the team." Gibbs' frown did not approve. Jenny touched his face lightly. "You being protective is cute. But don't make a habit of it," she warned before joining their guests in the entryway.

Once dressed and outside, the group went around to the backyard and began discussing teams. "Captain!" Abby and Tony shouted at the same time, so they marched to separate corners to call their players.

"I get Gibbs and Jenny!" Abby announced excitedly.

Tony crossed his arms. "No fair, why do you get two?"

Abby gestured to their bosses' linked hands. "I think they're a package deal DiNozzo."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Fine. I want the assassin, McGeek, and..." he cast a glace at Palmer and waved him over. "Come on Autopsy Gremlin, you can be on my team too."

Abby arched an eyebrow. "Now who's not playing fair?"

Gibbs nudged her arm. "I think we can take them Abs."

Her face brightened. "Alright. Strategy time!"

The two teams huddled together and Ducky eyed the yard and drew a line in the snow to divide sides, marking it with a couple of empty stone planters. Suddenly Abby stood up with an 'I've got an idea' look and stared at the rest.

"Wait!" she called. "I have a better idea."

Tony's jaw dropped. "What could possibly be better than a snowball fight?" he demanded.

"Snowball freeze tag!" Abby said gleefully, clapping her hands. "You get hit by a snowball, you're frozen. A hug unfreezes you. You're allowed to hide but no crossing the center line to hit your mark. The game is won when all the players on the opposing team are frozen. Well?"

No one seemed to have a problem with the change and they all set about building up a stash of ammo. After five minutes Ducky called time and counted them down. "On your mark, get set, go!"

Gibbs immediately scooped up a snowball from his pile and tossed it at Tony, who was hit before he could send his first shot. Ziva was closest and rolled her eyes, but hugged him quickly, then dodged Jenny's snowball and caught the redhead in the leg.

"I've got you Jenny!" Abby cried, launching herself at her frozen teammate.

McGee meanwhile, hid behind a tree and landed a snowball in the center of Abby's back, glad she couldn't see who got her. Gibbs took care of unfreezing her while Jenny nailed the unsuspecting computer tech in the side of the head. A silent debate went on between Tony and Ziva about who would unfreeze McGee, and finally both pointed at Jimmy.

He quickly and awkwardly hugged Tim and then threw a snowball without looking, stopping in shock when it glanced off Gibbs' shoulder. Gibbs froze instinctively but the glare he leveled at Palmer was strong enough to melt snow and make the ME's assistant cower under its force.

"I'm-I'm so sorry Agent Gibbs," Jimmy spluttered, but Jenny's hug distracted Gibbs.

"Be nice," she whispered in his ear, spinning around and aiming for Ziva again.

The game continued with much running around, screeching, yelling, laughter, and victory yells when targets were both acquired, locked on, and taken out. Partway through Jenny tried to take a deep breath to fuel her muscles, and frowned when she realized she couldn't. Jenny coughed and tried again, but it worried her enough to call a timeout.

"Sorry all," she smiled, covering her concern, "but I think I'm going to keep Ducky company for awhile. We'll get the hot chocolate ready for when you decide to come in."

"Okay Jen?" Gibbs mouthed, and Jenny shook her head.

_Fine_, she signed briefly before moving over to sit with Ducky.

Prior to play resuming, Gibbs jerked his head at Ziva. "Over here Ziva, gotta even out the teams." Tony whined but fell quiet at Gibbs' look.

Once Jenny was seated beside him, Ducky called the game back to order and they watched for a few minutes as Ziva froze Tony again and again, and Abby managed to get McGee back for the snowball he threw at her. Though Tim couldn't figure out how she knew it was him and wondered if Gibbs was the tattle-tale.

Finally Ducky glanced at her. "Are you really fine Jennifer?"

Jenny sighed. "I was having trouble catching my breath," she admitted. "I thought something might be wrong."

Ducky patted her hand. "Actually, it's a very common symptom my dear, I wouldn't worry about it. Just sit here and rest for awhile and your breathing should get easier."

Jenny smiled and leaned against the ME's shoulder. "Thanks Ducky."

When they left to go into the house a few minutes later, the group on the lawn engaged in a snowball freeze tag war barely noticed. But Gibbs' eyes followed Jenny into the house and Tony was able to take advantage of his distraction and hit Gibbs square in the chest. Abby and Ziva looked at each other and both tackled him with a hug as the game continued.

Finally, after some strategic plotting, mostly Abby and Gibbs with sign language, then letting Ziva in on the plan with hand signals and eye motions, Abby's team managed to freeze Tony, McGee, and Jimmy nearly simultaneously. Abby threw up her hands. "We win!" she shouted jubilantly.

Tony dropped to the ground grumpily. "You took the Ninja, of course you won."

Ziva patted him on the shoulder. "Maybe you will win next time Tony."

Abby put her arms around Tony. "Don't be sad. Didn't you have fun?"

Looking at Abby's flushed cheeks and the expressions of the rest, Tony grinned. "Yeah. Good idea Abby."

They trooped back into the house and shed all their winter wear, tiptoeing around puddles of melting snow in Jenny's entry. In the kitchen Ducky and Jenny were just finishing up hot chocolate and Gibbs took the tray from her to set on an empty end table in the livingroom. She shook her head at him and got Ducky a stack of dessert plates for the cheesecake he was slicing.

Once they were all settled in the livingroom with dessert and hot drinks, Tony's eyes began to stray to the table of present between the couch and chairs. Finally he couldn't take it any more. "Can we?" he asked, sounding like a little boy.

Jenny smiled, noting that Abby was wiggling in her seat as well at the mention of presents. She looked at Gibbs who exchanged glances with Ducky, and nodded. Why not?

As soon as he was given permission, Tony fell to his knees beside the table and began sorting the presents into piles. When he finished, he, Abby, and Ducky came out on top for number of presents, with McGee, Ziva, Palmer, and Jenny and Gibbs just slightly under in amount.

Ducky began handing the gifts out and when everyone had a small pile at their feet, the kids played Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who would go first. Not surprisingly Ziva won and picked up her first gift. The label read 'From: Abby', though she would've been able to tell from the black wrapping paper. Tearing it open, Ziva found a framed picture of the team, taken at last month's Thanksgiving bash.

Abby reached forward as Ziva looked up to thank her. "It's so you don't forget who your family is," she said softly, and the friends embraced.

Tony was next but only because he was too excited to wait any longer. He eagerly ripped open his Abby present to reveal a gift certificate for Blockbuster. His eyes lit up. "Thanks Abby, this is great."

She smiled. "I never know what movie to get you, but I figured it's hard to go wrong with Blockbuster. They even have movie snacks!"

"It's perfect," he assured her, glancing at Ziva. He would probably take advantage of his gift for one of their movie nights. If she was good, he might even let her pick the treats.

Abby took her turn, opening two at once. She immediately moved to hug the unsuspecting ME's assistant. "Thank you Jimmy!" she said excitedly. "A one month supply of Caf-Pow, what more could I ask for?" The rest of the friends exchanged glances, wondering why none of them had thought of that idea first.

Before she took the paper off the second one, she showed it to McGee. "It has both our names on it Timmy, you open it."

McGee did and looked at Ziva, then Tony. "Hey, thanks guys," he grinned, giving it back to Abby for her to see.

"A restaurant gift certificate?" she asked.

Ziva shrugged. "It was a movie night inspired idea."

"That's so sweet, thank you," Abby smiled.

"Take her somewhere classy McRomeo," Tony teased and Ziva glared at her partner. He couldn't even give up the nicknames for a day.

Jimmy was next and his present from Tony was a copy of the Gremlin movie. Everyone had to laugh. Then there was looks exchanged between the team members and finally Ziva was prompted to hand Ducky a small flat item. "It is from all of us," she explained.

Ducky took his present, intrigued, and pulled off the paper. "Tickets to the opera!" he exclaimed! "How wonderful."

"Yeah," Tony added, "those things are expensive." He leaned away when Abby tried to hit him.

"We thought you might like to take Dr. Jordan or your mom sometime," she elaborated.

At last Gibbs and Jenny were the only ones who hadn't opened something, and McGee pointed to the large item leaning against the side of the couch. "That one's yours, from everyone."

Sharing a look with Jenny, Gibbs lifted the package and laid it across both of their laps. Together they untied the ribbon and took the wrapping off their gift. Jenny gasped. "Oh my."

It was a portrait sized picture from their wedding day. Gibbs was holding Jenny off the ground, her arms were around his neck, and the moment was captured exactly as their lips met. Joy exuded from both of them and practically leapt out of the snapshot.

Gibbs and Jenny turned, their eyes met, and she could see the memory alive in his face as well. Without a second thought Gibbs kissed her in front of the whole team, forgetting for a moment that they weren't alone, until a few whistles pierced the air.

Jenny pulled back, laughing and blushing a little, and faced the group. "Thank you all, it's beautiful."

Gibbs put his arm around her waist. "Yeah, thanks."

Seeing their boss happy was all the thanks the team wanted. For a minute or so there was muffled silence as people fiddled with their gifts. Jenny was almost overwhelmed by the team's thoughtfulness and couldn't stop looking at the portrait, but she knew they had one more gift left to give.

She looked at her husband. "Stand or sit?" The words were whispered so only he would hear.

Gibbs shrugged. "Gonna get tackled either way."

So they stood and Gibbs cleared his throat. All eyes were on them. He held Jenny's hand and she smiled at the group. "Jethro and I," she began, and Tony snickered, "Jethro." Jenny's eyebrow lifted and he coughed and looked away. Jenny rolled her eyes and continued.

"We have a present for all of you as well." She turned to meet her husband's gaze and Gibbs nodded, content to let her share. The team sat up straighter, giving her their full attention. A smile spread over Jenny's face. "We're going to have a baby." She chuckled silently as eyes widened and mouths fell open. But as if they had suddenly become statues, nothing happened. Jenny bit her lip and spread her hands, trying again. "I'm pregnant."

All of a sudden their friends came alive and Abby flew at them, grinning like there was no tomorrow. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" Bracing for the hug, Gibbs caught her first and held on tight. "Congratulations Papa Bear," she whispered.

Then Jenny got her hug, but a gentler version as if Abby were afraid of hurting the baby if she hugged the redhead too tight. Letting go, the Goth jumped up and down. "We're going to get a Gibblet!" she squealed, dancing around and hugging whoever was near her. "Yay, yay, yay!" Abby spun back around and hugged Gibbs and Jenny each once more for good measure, before pulling back and giving them a stare that was taking lessons from Gibbs.

"When?" she demanded impatiently.

Jenny laughed. "Not until early summer I'm afraid. I get my official due date at my next doctor's appointment, but I'm just three months now." Her hand strayed to her lower abdomen and Abby tentatively put her hand there as well. "No change yet," Jenny said almost apologetically, when Abby looked disappointed that there was nothing to feel.

By the time Abby was done with her well wishes and interrogation, the others were standing, ready to offer their own words. Ducky smiled and shook Gibbs' hand, then put his hand on Jenny's arm and she welcomed his hug. "Congratulations my friends. What a blessing this child is going to be."

Tim was next in line and held out his hand to shake Gibbs' firmly, nodding. Quickly and tentatively he hugged Jenny. "That's great news. I can't wait to meet Baby Gibbs."

His nickname for the baby made Jenny chuckle, but before she could mentally add it to her list, Ziva hugged her, squeezing briefly. "I am happy for you Jen." Then she reached out to put her arms around Gibbs. "Mazel tov Abba," she said softly, and he held her eyes, touched to the heart by her words. They were a reflection of something she'd once told him, that he was the closest thing she had to a father. Gibbs stroked her cheek. "Thank you Ziva."

Jimmy stayed in his place beside Ducky's chair and kind of waved at them. "Congrats Director...Agent Gibbs." But he made no attempt to move. It was no secret that Gibbs scared Ducky's assistant, but it couldn't be helped. Some people got used to Gibbs, some never did.

Tony was last of all. He stood in front of the couple and put a hand on their shoulders. "Took you long enough," he grinned and felt the sting of Gibbs' hand connect with the back of his head. Tony winced. "Thank you Boss." He shook it off. "Seriously though, that's awesome. Good job."

He took his chair back and shrugged at Ziva's glare. "What?" She rolled her eyes and gave up. It really was hopeless.

Gibbs and Jenny finally sat back down and looked at the smiling faces around them. It was great to see everyone so happy about their news. The team was finally getting a Gibblet. Apparently it didn't get any better than that.


	30. Chapter 30

When everyone was sitting again, Abby looked at Tim and bit her lip, then shifted her gaze to Gibbs and Jenny. "How long have you known?" she asked in a small voice. "About the baby?"

Gibbs frowned and put his hand over Jenny's. "Almost three weeks. Why Abby?"

She looked away. "Weren't you happy about it?"

Still not seeing what she was getting at, Jenny's brow winkled. "We're very happy about this Abby." She met her husband's eyes. "A child is something we both want." Her words didn't seem to alleviate Abby's obvious distress, but the rest of the team was starting to understand.

Gibbs leaned forward. "Why all the questions Abs?"

The dark haired girl hesitated, then sighed, finally meeting both their eyes. "Three weeks ago was the beginning of December. You know," Abby prompted, "when you weren't getting along but no one would tell us what was wrong? And if you're happy about the baby..." She trailed off but her bewilderment was clear.

Jenny closed her eyes and fought the memories of that first week. Gibbs rubbed her back gently, looking up when Tony cleared his throat. "Abby isn't the only one who was worried Boss." He swallowed. "Could you...will you..."

"...tell us what was wrong?" Ziva put in gently and Tony smiled his thanks while McGee and Abby nodded in agreement.

It was a long moment before the couple decided to share. If they were going to be family in every sense of the word, the team deserved to know what they'd been going through. At last Jenny released a shaky breath and looked up. "I'm sorry you all were worried." She glanced at her husband and Gibbs put his arm around her shoulders, letting her decide what to tell.

"When I first found out I was pregnant, we were about 95% certain that it was because of what happened to me in October."

She didn't need to say more. The team's minds flashed back to the long two days when Jenny was missing and what they'd walked into when they finally figured out where she was. Abby gasped and put a hand over her mouth, leaning back into McGee, who looked down. Tony's jaw clenched and Ziva's hand moved as a reflex to rest on her knife. Anyone who hurt her family... Ducky just watched them both with compassion and Jimmy tried to be invisible. Some things he wished he didn't know.

Jenny, glad for her husband's strength and support, took a deep breath and filled in the rest of the blanks. "We got a paternity test done, just in case, and barely spoke for the next week because we disagreed on the options." She looked into Gibbs' eyes again. "But thankfully the test results that came in on December tenth made any choices or decisions irrelevant." Jenny shrugged.

"It was enough to be dealing with it ourselves, and trying to wrap our minds around what the news meant for us. I couldn't face telling all of you too. A little leftover shame I guess," she admitted, "and a lot of being overwhelmed by something I could in no way control." Looking at the group, Jenny smiled when she realized they had all shifted closer, as if subconsciously offering support.

"Oh Jenny," Abby started, her eyes filling with tears. Jenny opened her arms and the forensic scientist accepted the offer.

"It's alright Abby. We're okay now."

Ducky came over and put his hand on Gibbs' shoulder as he rubbed Abby's back. Ziva rested her hand on Jenny's leg and the boys just watched, empathy clear in their expressions. After a long moment the Goth pulled back and mocked glared at Gibbs.

"I can't believe you kept it a secret for two weeks!" They all laughed and it broke the somber mood.

Gibbs shrugged. "Ducky knew."

Abby crossed her arms and frowned. "Ducky always knows," she muttered darkly. Then she rejoined her boyfriend on the floor and as the group settled back into their spots, Tony held up a movie case.

"Everyone ready?"

Typical Tony, but that was just what they needed right now. The guys stood up to help rearrange the furniture so everyone could see the TV, the girls picked up wrapping paper and present garbage, and Ducky took plates and mugs back to the kitchen. Finally everything was ready and they all sat down again.

"Here we go. Welcome to a holiday classic, _It's a Wonderful Life_," Tony began the introduction.

"Ooh!" Abby cried, jumping up. "Wait! We need popcorn. Jenny?"

Jenny laughed. "I'll get it."

Tony groaned at the delay and Ziva patted his arm as if consoling a child. Seven minutes and two bowls of popcorn later, they were finally back on track and Tony pressed play, leaning forward eagerly, not wanting to miss a moment of the movie he must've seen tens of times. But with him, each time was like the first.

From her place between McGee's legs, Abby kept one eye on the movie and one on Gibbs and Jenny. All day she'd been watching them, struck by the change and how relaxed they were at home. She never got to see her bosses act like a couple at work, but for hours she'd been observing the quiet moments, the lingering glances, how they were always aware when the other one was near.

It was comforting in a way, to see how their love worked. Abby watched as they whispered to each other, covertly reading the words, 'I love you' and the phrase, 'always have, always will'. It made her smile. They were so cute together! Even now Gibbs' arm lay around Jenny's shoulders, his fingers playing with her hair. Jenny smiled, resting her head on his chest, her hand falling to his leg.

Finally focusing her full attention back on the movie, Abby relaxed into her boyfriend's arms, leaning her head back against his shoulder. Tim kissed her hair and she could feel his smile. It was so nice to be loved. Gibbs watched the younger couple from the couch and couldn't help but enjoy the sight. Having his family and friends there to celebrate the holiday had been a lot of fun, and he stroked Jenny's arm, thinking that for one of the first times in many years, Christmas had been a good day.

**NCIS**

The clock was nearing midnight when Gibbs and Jenny were finally alone and getting ready for bed. Their guests hadn't left until after ten pm, and then Jenny had wanted to get all the cleaning up done so they wouldn't have to deal with it in the morning.

Hosting Christmas had been more draining than Jenny anticipated. Even now as she sat on the edge of the bed brushing her hair, Jenny could feel her eyelids getting heavier as her body gave into the fatigue at last. Gibbs finished in the bathroom and joined her, taking the brush from his wife and running it softly through her hair, letting his fingers slide through the silky strands.

Ever since they'd gotten married it seemed to be one of his favourite things to do. A lot of little things about living with Gibbs had taught Jenny that intimacy could be applied to so much more than just sex. She loved when he brushed her hair. He was so gentle, his touch so loving. It was hard not to feel cherished when he took care of her like this.

"Jen," he said after a minute.

Jenny had her eyes closed and her head leaned to one side. She knew exactly why a cat enjoyed having their fur brushed. "Hmm?"

"Are you...are we okay?"

She frowned and looked over her shoulder as the constant motion of the brush slowed and stopped. "Is there a reason we shouldn't be?"

Gibbs swallowed. "The memory I shared, after dinner..."

Jenny turned around and took the brush from him, then put her hand on his face. "I think you were very brave to say something like that in front of the team, to tell them a little bit about Shannon and Kelly."

He looked into her eyes and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "It hurt you to hear." Gibbs didn't like that thought.

Jenny moved his hand and laid it over her heart. "Jethro, you are the only man I have ever loved like this, the only one to whom I have given my whole heart and soul. So yes, to know that you loved me second is hard, and sometimes it hurts. But they were your family."

She put his other hand on her stomach. "I'm carrying your baby. We are your family too. I will not make you choose one over the other, or tell you to never speak of your first wife and daughter. They are in your heart, I want you to be able to talk about them if you want. And I will try very hard not to be jealous." Her voice and eyes dropped at the admission but Gibbs tipped her chin up and molded his lips against hers.

"Jenny," he whispered hoarsely, "just because Shannon and Kelly are in my heart does not mean I am constantly thinking about them. Certain things take me back, but you're the one on my mind. How could I always be living in the past?" Gibbs asked. "When you're sitting right in front of me?"

Relief flooded Jenny, another small fear erased, and she pulled Gibbs' mouth back to hers. Sometimes she did wonder if Gibbs was thinking about Shannon when he was with her. But she trusted his love, his words. And as Gibbs laid them down on the bed without letting go, Jenny suddenly discovered she wasn't so tired any more.

**NCIS**

Abby woke up on McGee's couch with Jethro's nose stuck in her face. He licked her cheek and she giggled. "Good morning to you too Jethro." She sat up and stretched, pushing the thick blue blanket aside. The dog put his paw on her knee and Abby scratched under his chin. "What? Did that sleeping owner of yours not feed you yet?"

"I heard that," a voice called, and Abby heard the apartment door click shut. "And for your information, I 've been up for hours." Tim hung up his keys and coat and entered the room, shaking the red and white cup in his hand slightly. "I thought someone might need her morning caffeine."

Abby grinned and jumped up, nearly knocking her boyfriend over with a hug before taking a sip of her favourite drink. "Ahhh," she said happily. "Just right. Thanks Timmy."

McGee smiled and feathered his fingers through her loose black hair. "I love when your hair is down Abbs."

She raised an eyebrow. "Don't like my pigtails Tim?"

It was better to avoid mentioning that when they were married he'd get to see it down a whole lot more often, but she appreciated the compliment. And if he ever asked, Abby knew she would change the way she did her hair, just for him, but that was another reason being with Tim was so nice. He loved her fully just the way she was, and he would never ask her to change anything. It was nice, to be loved regardless.

He leaned in and kissed her. "I like everything about you Abby." Then he pointed to the bag on the counter. "Fresh muffins from the bakery down the street. They're still warm."

Abby smiled and reached for a blueberry one, biting into the moist bread. "I should stay over more often," she winked. "It's kind of nice getting spoiled for breakfast."

Choosing to ignore the comment for his peace of mind, McGee bent down to pet his dog. "You know Jethro, if you ask real nicely, I bet Abby will get dressed and come to the park with us."

As if he understood every word, Jethro sat down and looked up at Abby, cocking his head to the side the whining a little.

Abby pulled off a piece of muffin and fed it to the furry beggar. "Okay, but only because you said please. Let's go see what you think of snow Jethro." She kissed her boyfriend on the cheek and took another bite of the delicious blueberry goodness. "Be ready in ten," she called, heading for the bathroom.

Tim watched her go with a sigh. "Another month boy, hopefully less, and I guarantee our mornings are never going to be the same." Jethro rested his head on McGee's knee and the man chuckled, rubbing the soft fur behind his dog's ears. "Yeah, I know Jethro. I can't wait either. Having this all the time," he smiled, "it's going to be awesome."

**NCIS**

A mall was not a place anyone who knew him would ever expect to find Leroy Jethro Gibbs. And yet there he was, early afternoon on December twenty-sixth, trying to figure out how it had happened. When Gibbs invited his wife to go shopping and check out the Boxing Day sales, he had never imagined that a couple hours later he would be trailing after two smiling women, who chatted and giggled like schoolgirls, as their designated pack mule. It wasn't exactly his idea of fun.

Jenny looked back over her shoulder and smiled at her husband, touched Rachel's arm, and slowed down so he could catch up. She slid her hand around his elbow and leaned into him. "Thank you for carrying the bags and putting up with us Jethro," she said quietly. "It's nice to just have some time to wander around and see everything."

Gibbs rolled his eyes and gave a long suffering sigh before kissing his wife's temple. "Anything for you Jen."

Jenny glanced at Rachel, who was entirely distracted by everything she saw, and reached up to kiss his lips lightly. "I owe you one."

His eyes lit up with interest. "There rules on how I can collect?"

She smirked. "I'll let you know."

Before either of them could say more Rachel squealed, sounding very much like Abby for a second. "Oooh, Jen! They have baby clothes on sale!" She grabbed her friend's arm and dragged her towards the pastel coloured store. "Let's go look!" Jenny smiled and Rachel grinned at Gibbs. "You too Dad, come on!"

Gibbs followed the elated woman and his wife, resigning himself to the fact that it was going to be a very long afternoon. Then again, as he glanced at Jenny's happy face, Gibbs decided shopping might just be his new favourite thing to do. As long as they were together, life was good.

**NCIS**

It was movie night again at Tony DiNozzo's apartment, and he and his partner were just settling on the couch after finishing their dinner, a casserole Ziva had made, insisting that too much take out would be bad for their fitness tests next month.

They'd finished going through the original Star Wars movies and tonight was the first night of The Lord of the Rings series. They were some of Tony's favourite movies, though arguably, he did say that about a rather vast array of films, and he had anticipated Ziva enjoying them as well. However, it seemed that was easier thought than made reality.

"They are nothing like the books," Ziva complained only five minutes into the first film, crossing her arms and glaring at the TV.

Tony's eyebrows rose and he paused the movie. "Ziva, you read Lord of the Rings?"

He wasn't sure why it surprised him. Especially when she first came to NCIS, she knew more about books than movies, and preferred reading to watching. Tony liked to think he'd converted her a little to the beauty of literature on the small screen.

"When I was twelve," she informed him. "We do have Tolkein in Israel too Tony."

"Well, yeah, but...really?" he asked again. "Those were my favourite books when I was in elementary school."

Now it was Ziva's turn to look surprised. "Wait, Tony DiNozzo reads?"

"Cut it out," Tony frowned. "Of course I read."

"Something more than men's magazine's and with no pictures? I am impressed."

"Hey, they have pictures!" Tony defended, then realized he hadn't actually done himself any favours.

Ziva smiled. "Aha! I knew there had to be a snag."

"Catch," he corrected automatically. "Just watch them Ziva," Tony said, leaning back against the cushions. "They're really good, I promise."

Ziva tossed her hair. "You have until the end of the movie to convince me."

Tony grinned and accepted the challenge.

_**3 hours later**_

"Well?" Tony asked hopefully.

Ziva rolled her eyes and stifled a smile. "Alright, I admit, it was a pretty good movie."

"Pretty good, Ziva? Pretty good?" Tony asked incredulously. "The movie kicked butt and you know it."

Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "I know who's butt I am going to kick if I do not get to choose the next movie!" "Aw, Ziva," he whined. "It's a trilogy, as in, three. You have to watch them all in a row."

Ziva sniffed. "I could just not come back," she warned. It was a threat she didn't pull out very often because regardless of how much she complained about Tony's annoying habits and his incessant movie references, Ziva enjoyed movie nights and spending time with her partner outside of work.

Tony had learned already how lonely movie night was without her. "Or we could watch whatever you want next week and finish the trilogy later," he acquiesced quickly.

Ziva smirked. "Thank you Tony."

"Anything but 'Sound of Music'," the senior field agent said under his breath.

"I heard that," his partner said, glaring at him.

Well, he may have banned that particular film, Ziva noted, but suddenly she found herself in a mood for musicals. Her favourite movie wasn't the only one filled with singing and dancing. Tony really should learn to be quiet. Now she was going to have to pick one just to see how much singing he could take.

_A/N: I didn't realize until I'd written in that Boxing Day was a Canadian thing, not a US thing. I hope you'll excuse its use here :) Thanks for reading!_


	31. Chapter 31

Jenny started thrashing in her sleep around two in the morning. Gibbs woke up with a start, heart pounding, and immediately reached out a hand to calm her. The second he touched her Jenny sat straight up and leapt out of bed, backing away and cowering in the space between her nighttable and closet.

For a moment Gibbs just stared. None of her reactions had been that violent in over a month. Then he got up and moved quickly towards her. "Jen," he said in a low voice, wincing when she cringed and tucked herself tighter against the wall.

Gibbs pinched the bridge of his nose and blew out a breath. This one was not going to be easy to get her out of. In her own little world of darkness and terror now, Jenny was rocking a little and whimpering in pained tones, "No, no, no," over and over.

Hating that he was going to momentarily make things worse, Gibbs took hold of Jenny's shoulders and shook her gently. "Jenny."

With uncoordinated movements, Jenny tried to push him away, but Gibbs shook her again, a little harder this time. "Honey, it's me, it's Jethro. Come on baby, wake up."

But Jenny was still trapped in her nightmare so Gibbs resorted to his military voice, not wanting to scare her but needing her, for both of their sakes, to snap out of it. "Jenny!" he yelled, and her eyes flew open, heavy fear staining her green gaze. Gibbs released her and moved back, the look like a punch in the gut. Nothing was worse than when she was afraid of him, even if he wasn't the cause.

But as soon as Jenny registered being in her bedroom and not in the bunker, that the hands holding her belonged to her husband and not her attacker, she uttered a strangled cry and launched herself at Gibbs, curling her body into his lap and clutching at him as if he was about to disappear.

Surprised, but in a way glad, because he'd this reaction over not being able to touch her at all, Gibbs scooted back to lean against the bed, wrapping his arms around his wife, trying to still the trembling. Jenny buried her head in his neck and Gibbs could feel the warm tears that flowed onto his t-shirt.

Blinking back the moisture in his own eyes, Gibbs rocked her gently, whispering in her ear continuously. "Shh Jenny, shh. It's okay. You're safe, I promise you're safe. I'm here Jen, I'm not going anywhere."

It was a long time before Jenny stopped shaking, even longer before she finally raised her head and sniffed as she wiped her wet cheeks with the sleeve of her pyjama shirt. She ran one finger over the damp spot on Gibbs' shoulder and met his eyes at last. Gibbs was relieved to see that most of the terror had faded.

"I'm sorry," she whispered and Gibbs brought his hand up to stroke her cheek.

"It'll dry," he said softly. The t-shirt was the least of his worries. Gibbs scrutinized her face. "Are you okay?"

Jenny sighed and nodded, her posture slumping as she remembered the dream, and she rubbed her forehead as if to erase the memories. "I haven't had one that bad in awhile."

"Tell me," he requested, waiting to see if she would.

She shook her head. "It was the forty hours in fast forward, as if I were reliving each moment again. But this time somehow he knew I was pregnant, and that made everything worse."

Gibbs put his hand over both of Jenny's on her abdomen. "He's in jail Jenny, for life. He'll never be allowed to hurt you or our child or anyone else ever again."

Jenny leaned into his chest again and held his arms around her. "I know Jethro. At least," she corrected, "I know it when I'm awake."

Gibbs rested his cheek on her hair. "Why tonight Jen? You haven't had one in three weeks. Did something happen today, remind you of the bunker?" He wracked his brain but couldn't pinpoint anything.

She was silent for a minute. "I thought I saw someone at the mall that looked like him, after we left the baby store."

Gibbs tightened his grip. "That's why you got so clingy." It made sense now, though at the time he hadn't really thought about it. He was never one to complain if Jenny decided she suddenly had to be touching him and staying right by his side every moment.

Jenny nodded. "I didn't say anything because I didn't want to ruin Rachel's fun. And it helped, having you both close. But I guess it wasn't as easy to forget as I hoped."

"You know Rachel would've understood, she's been there too, remember?"

"It's not something I ever try to bring up," Jenny insisted. "No one wants those memories constantly hanging around."

Gibbs sighed, wishing he could do something to make her memories go away. This was one fear he couldn't even try to comfort with his body, by distracting Jenny with a passion that didn't leave room for any other thoughts. He hated that the memories still made her feel afraid, that odds were he wouldn't get to touch her like that for days now because of the nightmare.

His back was starting to ache from the position he was in and Gibbs shifted to east the strain. But Jenny grabbed hold of him again. "Don't let me go," she whispered tensely. "Don't let me go."

Gibbs adjusted his hold on her, moving her a bit so it was more comfortable. "I'm not going to let go Jen, I promise. I'm never letting go of you."

The words seemed to break a dam in Jenny and almost immediately her lips were on his, seeking comfort and reassurance he was happy to give, just as his arms around her let Jenny taste the safety she craved. Gibbs responded willingly, tamping down any desire in an effort to give his wife only what she wanted, and needed.

Jenny's hands came up to frame his face and his fingers got tangled in her loose curls. She couldn't get any closer than she was, but still she pressed into her husband's chest, unable to get enough of him. Gibbs had to fight not to let his hands wander over Jenny's body as he held her tightly. She wasn't making it easy, but he also knew she wasn't teasing him on purpose, she just desperately wanted to feel what was real.

When they finally broke for air, both were breathing hard. Gibbs moved to get up, bringing Jenny with him. He enveloped her in his embrace again, dropping a kiss on her forehead, his voice rough when he spoke. "Let's go to bed Jen."

She nodded her agreement, but followed him around the bed, having no intention of sleeping on her side for the remaining hours of the night. Gibbs let her in first, then climbed under the covers himself. Right away Jenny slid as close to him as she could get and Gibbs chuckled as he held his wife.

"I kind of like this velcro effect," he told her.

Jenny rolled her eyes, the fear of the nightmare fading much faster than it used to. "Of course you would find something amusing about this."

"I'll take any excuse to have you this close," Gibbs said seriously.

Jenny sighed and got comfortable. "I can't sleep yet," she informed her husband. "Tell us a story."

Gibbs thought for a moment. "It was our second night in Marseilles-"

She elbowed him and moved his hand to her stomach. "Something appropriate for me and the pipsqueak," Jenny reminded him.

Gibbs' eyebrows lifted. "The pipsqueak?"

Jenny shrugged. "I'm trying to get more creative."

He snorted. "You want creative? Just give the kids a week. You'll have more baby nicknames than you know what to do with."

"They're not just going to stick to Gibblet?" Jenny smiled.

"That will be Abby's favourite," Gibbs conceded. "But between her and Tony...well, they have six months to come up with other interesting ones."

"This should be fun," Jenny decided. "Story," she reminded her husband.

"Right." He closed his eyes, picturing a moment he'd never forget. "I was all of a week back from Mexico, reinstated as team leader a little over fifteen hours, and sitting in my basement trying to decide if I really wanted to stay."

Jenny relaxed into Gibbs' side and listened. She had a feeling she knew where this was going, but she wanted to hear it from him.

"Then my boss showed up and I could tell she had something on her mind. It turned out she was just Jenny that night, and she still loved me." Gibbs clasped her a little bit tighter. "I'd just spent four months getting all my memories back and everything about our past was fresh and alive, no matter how hard I tried to bury it. So when she asked me for a second chance, all I wanted to say was yes."

Jenny looked up and met his eyes, smiling when his lips descended on hers. "I'll be forever thankful for that night," she confided. "You have no idea how long it took me to work up the courage to go to you, after everything that had happened between us."

Gibbs brushed his thumb down her cheek. "I'm so glad you did," he said huskily. "Oh gosh Jen, I can't imagine my life without you."

"Or the baby?" she teased.

"Especially the baby," Gibbs said firmly. "Everything about our second chance is a dream come true."

"Think we're ever going to wake up?" Jenny asked.

"I sure hope not," Gibbs murmured, hugging her. "I love you Jen."

"Do you now?" her eyes twinkled. "Forever and always?"

"Much longer than that," he promised.

"Good," Jenny smiled. "Me too."

So, more than an hour after Jenny's nightmare interrupted their rest, Gibbs and Jenny fell asleep again, and there was nothing but peaceful, happy dreams for the rest of the night hours.

**NCIS**

Kristyn smiled as she handed Jenny a steaming cup of tea. "Cold out today," she commented.

Jenny accepted the warm beverage, sipping it gratefully. "Winter has fallen on DC with a vengeance," she agreed.

The therapist settled in her oddly shaped white chair. "How are you Jenny?"

Having long since learned that 'fine' was not an acceptable answer, Jenny bit her tongue against the knee-jerk reaction and smiled. "I'm doing okay. For the most part the last couple weeks have been relatively uneventful."

As Jenny knew she would, Kristyn seized upon the non-absolute phrase she'd used. "For the most part?" the woman asked.

Jenny nodded slowly. "I had a nightmare last night. It was..." she hesitated, "bad."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Thinking about it again was not on Jenny's to-do list. "I told Jethro after I calmed down," she elaborated when the doctor eyed her critically.

Kristyn brightened. "I'm glad. Although I like to feel needed, it's good when you can share with others too." She checked her notes. "Anything new I need to know about?"

Jenny smiled. "We told Jethro's team about the baby at Christmas."

"Does that make you happy?" Kristyn questioned.

"It's nice not to have to keep it a secret any more, or hide how excited we are."

"How's the pregnancy going so far?" The psychiatrist switched gears slightly.

Jenny shrugged. "I'm still dealing with the less than fun parts like morning, afternoon, and evening sickness, and mood swings which my poor husband often gets in the way of. But I'm hoping some of that will be over shortly."

"And what about intimacy with your husband? Any improvement in that area?" Kristyn knew getting answers to the personal questions was always difficult with this particular patient, but she still needed to know.

Jenny rubbed her wrists absently, a nervous habit she'd picked up after the kidnapping. "Better, I guess. Well, sometimes at least." She shrugged. "It's not that I don't want to be with him that way, or even that it scares me, because it doesn't, not anymore. As long as I'm not thinking about it right after a nightmare or flashback," she added.

"But often I just can't get in the mood. I know Jethro would like to be intimate more often and he's so patient with me, I feel bad when I brush him off. We've had some really good days and some less than stellar ones. I just keep hoping..." Jenny sighed and trailed off.

"That things will eventually get back to normal?" Kristyn filled in.

Jenny nodded. "Sooner would be nice."

"What about that new normal we talked about?" the doctor asked.

Jenny rolled her eyes. "I would settle for a normal that looked even similar to one I could recognize." She missed the days when being with her husband was fun, something to look forward to, something she wanted so much she often couldn't concentrate on anything else.

"You know," Kristyn said slowly, "being pregnant may actually help with that."

Jenny looked puzzled. "How?"

"Many women find that their libido increases greatly in the second trimester. I wouldn't be surprised if you notice that beginning to happen in the next couple weeks. It may come as an unexpected bonus for both of you."

Jenny bit her lip. "I would rather not deny him when he wants me, but sometimes I just can't have him touching me." She sighed. "I hope you're right Kristyn."

"Give it time Jenny," her therapist said softly. "It's only been three months. That you are able to have sex at all is a testament to your strength and bravery, and stubbornness," Kristyn commented with a smile. "Let it come, let your body and mind continue to heal from the memories, and don't push it. Mr. Gibbs has loved you through everything else, I doubt he's going to stop now."

"No," Jenny smiled, "I don't think he will either."

Almost abruptly, Kristyn switched subjects. "Tell me about your eating over the last couple weeks."

At first Jenny glared, but Kristyn just stared back at her so Jenny gave up and took a minute to think about the question. The answer surprised her. "Actually, I've been doing pretty good. Aside from everything I've been throwing up," she grimaced, "food hasn't been as much of an issue. Between Jethro bringing food to my office and Christmas, I haven't even been thinking about it much."

Kristyn smiled. "Any progress is good progress Jenny. The little things are sometimes the most important."

"Yes," Jenny agreed with a smile, "sometimes the little things make all the difference."

_A/N: Hey guys! So this is the last of my saved chapters. I don't have any more already written so I'm going to have to drop back to updating once a week. Thanks so much for all the reviews and excitement over the Christmas chapters, it's been fun :) I'll try to update by the weekend or Monday at the latest. Thanks!_


	32. Chapter 32

Although it had been a short week because of Christmas, Gibbs and Jenny were still very grateful to get home Friday night, and glad there hadn't been a case so they could leave at the same time for once. With Gibbs in charge of the lettuce and Jenny dicing apples, they put together a quick batch of apple salad to take to Bill and Meredith's for dinner before hurrying to get changed.

Jenny went with her cream coloured cashmere sweater from Ziva and a pair of brown corduroy pants, adding her favourite accessories to dress the outfit up. Gibbs' black jeans and navy blue dress shirt was simple and still dressy. Jenny again lamented her husband's ability to look handsome in anything and be ready in three minutes flat.

Downstairs with only two minutes to spare before they had to leave, Jenny glanced at her watch and paced in front of the window. "This is not a night for you to be on Rachel-time, Pollyanna," she said through gritted teeth. Jenny hated being late.

Gibbs raised one eyebrow. "Rachel-time?"

His wife sighed. "Usually between five and twenty minutes behind the rest of the world. She's always been late for everything and in college we used to tease that her watch must be set to Rachel-time."

Thirty seconds after Jenny wanted to be in the car, her best friend pulled up in front of the house and honked her horn. Jenny hurried out with the salad bowl, leaving Gibbs to lock the door and set the alarm. She waved at Rachel when her friend rolled down the window and grinned. "Not even a whole minute late, I'm impressed."

Rachel shrugged. "I aim to please." She didn't move and Jenny looked at her curiously.

"You coming?"

"I think I'll just follow you guys. Who knows? I might need to know how to get there by myself someday."

"Uh oh." Jenny was already suspicious. "That sounds dangerous."

Rachel smiled cheerfully. "You never know." Her words sounded ominous to Jenny's ears.

Gibbs held the car door for his wife and got in. Mindful of Rachel, he kept his usual less than careful driving to a minimum. He'd been thinking about it lately anyways, remembering how carefully he'd driven when Kelly was born, following every rule to a T and shocking the heck out of Shannon, who used to tease him about being in the running for NASCAR.

Glancing at Jenny, Gibbs smiled to himself. Right there in her seat were his two most precious treasures. If he was driving, he wanted Jenny and the baby on his mind to remind him to take less risks. Nothing could happen to any of them now, there was too much to live for.

Fifteen minutes later, they arrived at Bill and Meredith's bungalow. Simple and almost quaint, the house fit the older couple well, and covered in a layer of snow, it made the perfect Christmas picture. After helping Jenny out of the car, Gibbs turned to see Rachel juggling an armload of things and offered to help.

Rachel grinned in relief as she handed him a covered container and a heavy grocery bag. "Look at that, chivalry isn't dead after all. Thank you Jethro. I think I overestimated my ability to be Superwoman." Gibbs snorted and rolled his eyes and she glared at him, punching him lightly on the shoulder with her free hand. "You better be nice if you want your Christmas present," she warned.

Carrying only the salad bowl and her purse, Jenny glanced back at them. "Come on slowpokes," she teased.

The door opened as they made their way up the walk and the group was greeted by Bill and Meredith's smiling faces. "Merry Christmas!" Bill's voice boomed out.

Rachel stopped and stared at him a moment before bursting into laughter. "Jen, you didn't tell me you were friends with Santa!"

Bill and Meredith exchanged looks and Bill rubbed his graying beard, then shrugged. "Ho, ho, ho?"

Jenny rolled her eyes and greeted both of them with a hug. "Pay no attention to the peanut gallery," she said dryly, and Rachel gave her a dirty look.

Gibbs followed his wife, receiving a handshake from Bill and the mandatory hug from Merry. Rachel was last, setting down her things before holding out her hand. "Hi," she announced brightly, "I'm Rachel." She looked Bill up and down. "I'll shake your hand this time because we just met," she informed the amused man gravely, "but for future reference - I do hugs."

Bill grinned and shook Rachel's hand warmly. "Then you ought to get along splendidly with my wife."

Turning to Merry, Rachel threw her arms around the kind faced woman. "Hi Meredith!"

Merry hugged Rachel back. "So this is the famous Rachel I've heard so much about."

"In the flesh," Rachel smiled, holding out her arms to display her festive outfit.

"I'm very pleased to meet you," Meredith said. She gave Jenny a look. "I've heard a lot about you."

"All good stuff I'm sure," Rachel laughed. She threw a wicked grin in her best friend's direction. "Looks like it's my turn to tell stories then, huh Red?"

All eyes turned to Jenny who buried her face in her hands briefly, then looked at her husband. "I think I need to put this salad in the fridge." She grabbed the bowl and walked swiftly to the kitchen.

"You can run but you can't hide Jen!" Rachel called gleefully after her, already certain the evening was going to be a lot of fun. She took the bag Gibbs was still holding and looked at Meredith. "Got a punch bowl handy? Jenny told me to bring ingredients."

"Right this way," Merry gestured, and they left the guys behind in the entry.

Bill shoved his hands in his pockets as they stared after the women. "You got a feeling this is going to be an interesting night Gunny?"

Gibbs sighed. "With Rachel and Jenny in the same room?" He shook his head slowly. "Bill, you have no idea."

**NCIS**

Dinner passed with a lot of laughter and smiles as Rachel got to know Bill and Meredith and made good on her threat of revenge to Jenny by sharing some groan-eliciting stories from their first year as roommates in college. Meredith laughed and gave Jenny a pointed look at the end of one.

"Really?" she asked. "That's funny. Jenny never mentioned that."

"Yeah," Rachel tossed her hair and elbowed her friend. "She tends to leave out those parts a lot."

"Hey!" Jenny protested feebly, but it was no use. Both Meredith and Gibbs were far too engrossed in college stories to worry about the potential humiliation they might cause Jenny. Finally she just slouched in her chair and pretended to be invisible. Eventually Rachel relented and let someone else take over story-telling duties.

It wasn't long before the group began to feel like old friends. Gibbs had just finished talking about some of the highlights of Christmas with the team when Rachel spoke up again. "Did you tell them about the baby?" she asked excitedly. "What did they say?"

He shrugged. "I think they took it pretty well." He glanced at his wife. "Jen?"

Jenny smiled, all earlier discomfort forgotten. "Abby's reaction was definitely the most...enthusiastic, but there was a clear moment of shock when we told them." She thought back to Tuesday evening. "I think they're pretty eager for the baby to be born now."

Rachel leaned over and patted Jenny's flat stomach. "You hear that Little Bug? You're going to be born into a family that cannot wait to meet you." Trying not to be embarrassed by Rachel's actions, knowing she was just being herself even if it was in front of other people, Jenny merely smiled at her friend. Rachel grinned. "You realize I include myself in that family thing, right?"

Shaking her head, Jenny chuckled and patted Rachel's shoulder. "You're already family Rach."

"Good," the brunette nodded, satisfied.

Across the table Meredith looked intrigued. "Little Bug?" she asked.

Jenny laughed and rested her hand on her abdomen. "It's Rachel's nickname for the baby. The team is stuck on Gibblet, and have been waiting years to use it, but I've been told," she cut her eyes to Gibbs, "to expect them to come up with others over the next six months. I think Baby Gibbs is also on the list." She shrugged. "Personally, I've bounced back and forth between Little One and Pipsqueak, but I haven't really picked a favourite yet."

"What about Jethro?" Merry asked.

Jenny lifted her eyebrow and looked at her husband. "That's a good question."

Gibbs did not like being the center of attention and ignored them, taking the last bite on his plate so he didn't have to answer. When Shannon was pregnant, he'd called Kelly 'Peanut' for the whole nine months, and for most of her eight year life after that as well. It was something he just couldn't get past right now. Eventually he'd want to call this unborn child something too, but for now the memory of Kelly was still too close. Jenny, sensing that he wasn't being rude but rather, thinking about something personal, laid her hand on his thigh under the table and smiled.

"So Jethro," Rachel began as if nothing had happened, "I'm dying to meet your team. Gotta see if the stories I keep hearing are true or of you guys just have fantastic imaginations."

"Truth is often stranger than fiction," Gibbs quoted.

"What about a joint New Year's Eve party, with everyone?" Rachel suggested. "The team, Bill and Meredith, us. It would be a great way to get to know each other. Since we are all part of your lives forever and ever now," she grinned.

Jenny's head started to ache just at the thought of another event. She'd been exhausted since Christmas. Gibbs caught the look on her face and answered for her. "Maybe next year Rachel. I'm sure there'll be plenty of opportunities for you to meet the team in the next few months."

Meredith decided then would be a good time to start clearing dishes before there could be any protest, and Rachel rose to help, bringing back her container of Christmas cookies when they finished. Gibbs and Bill got up and headed to the livingroom to start a fire, while Jenny began scooping leftovers into plastic containers to store in the fridge.

When the kitchen was back to normal, Rachel put on water for tea, already comfortable in Bill and Meredith's house. Merry started coffee and Jenny held up two fingers to Rachel, who asked Meredith where to find mugs. Finishing the last bit of her punch, Jenny smiled. It has always been her favourite, ever since Rachel introduced it to her one night when they were studying for mid-terms and very stressed. That punch had been a cure-all as much as was Rachel's addiction to sour gummy worms and bubble gum.

Once everything was ready and on a tray, they added a plate of colourful Christmas cookies, then went to join the men in the livingroom. With two cushy sofas, a love seat, and an overstuffed armchair to choose from, the room was cozy and inviting. Before sitting down, Rachel retrieved a large bag from the entry and reappeared with a flourish.

"Time for presents!" Laughter echoed around the room. And even if they'd only known her for a few hours, Bill and Meredith just understood that this childlike excitement was a "Rachel thing."

"No arguments here," Bill held up his hands in surrender, smiling.

Rachel bit her lip. "Since we just met, but hadn't when I went Christmas shopping, I wasn't sure what to get you, so I hope this is okay." She handed him a square, flat, wrapped item.

Bill tore the paper off in interest. "A Robin Marks worship CD?" he read. "Thank you Rachel. I can listen to this in my car on the way to work Monday morning."

Sighing in relief that she'd gotten one right, Rachel held out a small envelope to Meredith. "I've heard a little bit about you here and there from Jenny, so I know you like to cook. It isn't much, but I hope you'll enjoy them." Merry accepted the envelope and opened it to find two recipe cards. "The casserole is my mom's, it's kind of like our family's comfort food. And it's been my favourite meal since I was seven." Rachel smiled fondly. "The muffin recipe I got from a lady I used to work for. Best banana muffins ever!"

Touched that Rachel would share those things with her, Merry stood to hug the younger woman. "Thank you," she said gratefully, and glanced at her husband. "I'll have to try them out on Bill real soon."

Rachel sat down and reached into her bag again. "I'm starting to feel like one of Santa's elves," she confessed.

"You're only missing the pointy shoes and ears, and a hat with a bell. Oh yeah, and the being less than three feet tall part," Jenny felt a need to mention.

Glaring at her best friend, Rachel frowned. "You are ruining all my fun Mrs. Humbug. Be nice or-"

"I know, I know," Jenny interrupted, "I won't get my present. You say that at every occasion and I still have yet to remain giftless. Idle threats won't get you anywhere Pollyanna."

"Brave words from someone who gave me the key to her house Red," Rachel reminded her.

Jenny clamped her lips together and send her husband a pleading look. Gibbs shook his head. "Don't look at me Jen, you started it. I'm not going to get in the middle of this." She crossed her arms, muttering something under her breath that might not have been entirely charitable.

Bill leaned forward. "Do they always act like teenagers when they're together?" He'd never seen Jenny actually pout before. They were seeing a whole new side of her with Rachel around, and it was playful and lighthearted, something both he and Meredith enjoyed after the darkness of October and the slow progress of Jenny's healing.

"Usually," Gibbs confirmed, no longer thinking anything of it.

"Oh, alright," Rachel said at last. "Just because I love you, you can still have your Christmas present." Jenny brightened immediately and held out her hands for the rectangular package wrapped in Winnie The Pooh paper. She raised an eyebrow. "I couldn't resist," Rachel grinned.

Pulling the paper away, Jenny found a pregnancy book, her first. "Thanks?"

Rachel laughed. "Oh come on Jen, be excited about it. It's one of those humorous, glass half full, may-as-well-laugh-even-if-you-want-to-cry books," she explained. "It's got pictures and cartoons and this cool chart in the back to track the baby's growth while it's inside you. I didn't figure you'd have anything yet and there was no way I was going to get you one of those boring, straight laced, facts only ones."

"No, of course not." Jenny flipped through the book, fascinated by some of the information she caught glimpses of. It seemed there was a lot she didn't know about pregnancy. But now was as good a time as any to learn. Finally she looked up. "I have to say, I'm kind of surprised. This is an awfully...normal gift, coming from you."

Rachel could barely contain her grin. "Well...I might've gotten you one more thing." From behind her back she pulled out two hugging teddy bears, one light and one dark, with yellow and pink flowers behind their ears and smiles on their furry faces. "I saw them when we were at the mall that one day, and knew I had to get them for you. It's us, in case you didn't guess."

"That's more like it," the redhead grinned. She reached for the bears, running her hands over their soft fur gently. "Macy and Krissa," Jenny decided quickly, and Rachel laughed.

"Nice Jen."

Bill and Meredith looked confused. "Inside joke?"

"No," Rachel shook her head, "it's just a 'Jenny thing'. Any teddy bears she gets for occasions or events have to be given a name that remind her of said event or occasion. For example," she elaborated, "a teddy bear her dad got her for graduation is Grady, one given when friends got engaged is Gage and -"

Jenny put her hand on Rachel's arm. "You don't have to go through my whole collection Rach, I think they get the idea."

"So Krissa and Macy..." Meredith started.

"About as close as I could get to 'Merry Christmas' without being cheesy," Jenny confirmed.

"Jethro next." Rachel proclaimed after Jenny hugged her thank you. She handed him a gift about the same size and weight as Jenny's.

He held it for a second, then ripped a strip of paper off and peeked inside. "Let me guess, the dad version?"

"Correct!" Rachel beamed. It's so you know what to expect. The person at the bookstore said it was guaranteed to make you laugh out loud, but," she eyed Gibbs warily, "if you even smile, I'll consider it a success."

Her words stuck in Gibbs' head. _So you'll know what to expect_... and he had to force the grin, not wanting to ruin the Christmas joy in the room by bringing up Shannon and Kelly. He'd probably tell Rachel eventually, but not today. For now he'd let her think he was a first time dad.

Glancing at Bill and Meredith, he saw the understanding look in Bill's eyes. Jenny's fingers slid between his and she leaned into him a little. It all happened so fast, Rachel didn't even notice, so Gibbs smiled. "Thanks Rachel. I'm sure it'll be an interesting read."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "You're just saying that to be nice. Don't worry, my feelings aren't hurt easily."

"Now it's your turn," Jenny said, holding her hand out while Gibbs took a small card from his back pocket. She passed it to Rachel. "A Chapters' gift card seems kind of lame, but I never know what books you need and what you already have."

"Lame?" Rachel asked incredulously, staring at the small shiny snowflakes on the holiday themed card. "No way, this is perfect. You can never go wrong with books," she stated firmly. Then she looked up, concerned. "You didn't leave Bill and Meredith out, did you?" she asked in a loud whisper.

Jenny shook her head. "Of course not."

Gibbs reached to the floor beside the couch and picked up a bulky envelope, then gave it to Bill. "Jenny and I wanted to do something different, and since we couldn't think of anything you two needed, we made a donation in your names to the orphanage in Mexico you were talking about." He pointed to the envelope. "They sent us a bookmark and bracelet that the kids made for you." Gibbs grinned. "I guess you made an impression during your visit."

Bill tore open the envelope and dropped the small items into his hand. Meredith fingered the bracelet and he looked at the bookmark. Also inside was a photo of all the children standing on the grassy hill near the beach. They studied it for a minute before finally meeting Gibbs' and Jenny's eyes.

"Thank you," Bill said slowly, squeezing Merry's hand, "really. This means a lot to both of us, and to the kids."

"You're welcome," Jenny said softly, glad they'd done it.

Rachel perked up with interest at the mention of 'Mexico' and 'orphanage'. "What orphanage?" she asked. "Where in Mexico?"

Meredith smiled. "It's this old resort on the beach that was donated as an orphanage to the lady who runs it, located right near the center of Acapulco."

Her eyes widened at the description. "What's it called?"

"L'Hogar Infantile Marsh - Marsh Home," Merry translated.

"No way." Rachel's mouth fell open and for one of the first times Jenny could remember, she was speechless.

It was Bill and Meredith's turn to be confused. "Yes," Bill said slowly. "Why?"

Rachel's face lit up. "I've been there, a couple of times with a group from my church. I keep wanting to go back but the timing has never worked out. Wow, that's so crazy."

"That's right Rach," Jenny nodded. "I can't believe I forgot. You still talk about those kids now and then."

"I keep them in my heart," Rachel agreed, picturing the kids she'd so quickly grown to love.

"Well Rachel," Merry smiled, "I see you're going to have to come over sometime soon so we can reminisce."

"I'd be delighted to," Rachel declared.

"But I think we have one more present, don't we honey?" Bill glanced significantly at his wife.

Meredith jumped up. "We do." She pulled a bulky object out from behind the couch. "It was a little too awkward to wrap, but hopefully you'll like it anyway." She nodded at Rachel and Bill. "It's from all three of us."

Seeing the confusion on Jenny's face, Rachel giggled. "It's a pregnancy pillow silly! I guess you don't need it yet because you're not even showing," she glared at Jenny's mid-section, "but..."

"But at about five months I promise this oddly shaped pillow will become your best friend, and one of the only ways both you and your husband will get a good night's sleep," Merry put in.

Jenny smiled and stood up to hug each of them. "Thank you," she said softly, appreciating their thoughtfulness.

Gibbs cleared his throat once everyone was sitting again and took Jenny's hand. "We'd really like to thank all of you for the help and support you've given us over the last few months." He looked at his wife and into each pair of eyes. "It's been pretty rough sometimes and I'm not sure we'd be sitting here together if it wasn't for you three. So thank you."

"It was our pleasure Jethro," Bill said.

"That's what friends are for, right?" Rachel added.

"We'll always be here when you need us," Meredith promised.

For a little while the room was quiet as everyone reached for and doctored their drinks, sipping them slowly. Finally Rachel was done sitting still and pulled a plastic package from her purse. "Who's up for a few rounds of Dutch Blitz before we officially end our celebration and go home?"

Jenny laughed. She should've seen that one coming. Bill and Meredith looked pleased but Gibbs frowned. "Dutch Blitz?"

"Rachel's favourite card game," Jenny explained. "I got a lot of practice when we first met, and all through college. But I haven't played in years, so I might be a little rusty."

"Don't worry Jethro, it's really easy to learn." Rachel raised her eyebrow at Bill and Meredith. "Are you in?"

"We used to play it in pairs at church potlucks," Bill grinned. "I think we can give you some decent competition."

The group moved back to the kitchen and Rachel claimed the yellow cards before doling out the rest. She smirked as she started shuffling her pile. "Let the games begin."

_A/N: Okay, my extreme apologies for how long it's taken me to update this story. My muse had a sudden fit of Tiva inspiration so I got really distracted for a couple of weeks trying to get some of those stories done. But I'm back now (hopefully) to update on a regular basis of once a week._

_Question though - for anyone who followed A Price to Pay and knows how out of control that story got in length, would anyone be interested in me splitting up ANB into parts of 35-50 chapters each? So the next section would be "A New Beginning: Part II" and would start at about Chapter 36, which coincides with the beginning of January in story time. Let me know what you think. I'm seriously considering doing that just so it won't be so overwhelming for people to read like, 200 chapters all at the same time._

_Thanks so much for following this story and reviewing faithfully, you guys are awesome and always make me smile. I'm looking forward to having you along for the rest of the ride! ~ Aliyah_


	33. Chapter 33

_A/N: My most profuse apologies dear readers! I never meant to go two weeks without updating, but my muse was stuck on a story in my Tiva series (now complete and out of the way), and then this last week has been so busy I barely had time to sleep, let alone think about FF. But I'm sorry (even if it's against Rule #6). I've got the next chapters written and ready to go, so look for updates every couple of days this week. I can't make any promises after that, but right now ANB is my only WIP so I can devote all my attention to it and hopefully new chapters will not be so few and far between as they have been recently. Thanks again for all the reviews and for those who caught up on the last several chapters. I'll reply to reviews as soon as I can. You guys are all awesome, enjoy! :) ~ Aliyah_

After several rounds of the very addictive card game, they finally decided to call it a night and started packing everything up. While the others were helping to put things away, Merry pulled Jenny aside. "How's the morning sickness?" she asked. "It didn't seem like you had any problems with dinner."

"No," Jenny shook her head, "it comes and goes. It's been happening less often lately, so I'm hoping it goes away soon."

"Can I give you some advice?"

"Please." Jenny was eager for anything that might help. She'd spent quite enough quality time with her toilet over the last few weeks, thank you very much.

"It's worse if you let your stomach get empty," Meredith said, and Jenny frowned. The older woman laughed. "Strange logic, I know, but eating when you first start feeling sick will actually make it better, not worse. It's kind of the opposite of when you're sick and throwing up and don't want to eat anything." She gave Jenny a quick hug. "I hope this stage passes quickly."

"Thanks," Jenny smiled.

A few minutes later there were goodbyes and hugs exchanged and many wishes of Merry Christmas. As they were heading out the door, Bill pulled a card from his pocket and slipped it to Gibbs. "I'm all for the pregnancy pillow because I guarantee you will be happy she has it, especially when she's six months and sleep is not comfortable anymore, but I figured you should have a little something for you too." The card was a gift certificate to Gibbs' favourite coffee shop.

Gibbs nodded. "Thanks Bill, for everything."

"You know where to find us if you ever need anything," the older man reminded his friend.

Outside, Jenny hugged Rachel and left her to find her own way home, then sank gratefully into her seat, even as she shivered at the temperature of the car. Celebrating Christmas had been fun, but right now Jenny was just ready for everything to be over. She was really looking forward to some peace and quiet.

**NCIS**

Saturday had been a strange day. Gibbs spent much of his time in the workshop, only coming in for meals. He seemed pleased about something, but refused to tell his wife what he was working on, and banned her from coming out to see when she threatened to do just that over supper.

In her husband's absence, Jenny tried to relax, but her abdomen had been aching for most of the afternoon and nothing she did made the discomfort go away. For the most part she stayed curled up in the library, paging through the pregnancy book from Rachel and leaning a lot that would come in handy in the next several months.

Later that night when they'd been laying in bed for awhile, Jenny rolled over to see the clock and suddenly felt a stabbing pain in her stomach. She sucked in her breath but tried not to hold it, remembering that she was breathing for two. Gibbs heard the noise and turned over quickly to find Jenny's eyes closed and her hands curled tightly into fists.

"Honey?" he questioned. "What's wrong?"

Jenny explained without opening her eyes and moved his hand to the spot that hurt. Slowly, Gibbs started rubbing her stomach gently and after a couple of minutes Jenny relaxed as the pain subsided. She smiled at him. "Thanks." This time when she moved to get comfortable again, she was much more careful about it.

"It's probably just because your uterus is growing," Gibbs suggested. Settling down beside her, he rested his head on one hand. "So, how big is he now?" He'd caught Jenny studying the growth chart in the back of the book, reading everything that was happening as their baby developed. It was actually fascinating stuff, so incredible that in nine months their child went from a single cell to a fully formed human being.

"Just over two inches, about the size of a small peach," Jenny smiled. Then she giggled. "She'd fit right about here," Jenny explained, purposely picking the opposite gender from her husband, tracing the palm of his hand.

Gibbs kissed the side of her head. "Can't wait," he said, his voice thick as he wrapped his arms around Jenny. Six months was a long time to wait to meet their baby. He or she was already so precious to their mom and dad. It was definitely something to look forward to.

**NCIS**

The whole team came to church with Abby on Sunday and went out to the diner to have breakfast for lunch afterwards. It was becoming more of a group tradition now that everyone was, for the most part, enjoying. And of course, Abby was thrilled to get to spend more time with her family outside of work.

After they said goodbye, Ziva drove back to her apartment and dressed to go for her afternoon run. Rain, sun, wind or snow, it didn't matter the weather, she still stuck to her routine. When she got to the last mile on her usual path, she saw someone on the trail ahead of her. Normally it was deserted on Sundays, so she was curious if someone new had discovered this place. Catching up, Ziva was shocked to see Tony. He feigned surprise when she fell into step beside him.

"Ziva! What are you doing here? Is this your route?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Are you stalking me Tony?"

"Me?" His eyebrows shot up. "Follow the Ninja? No thank you, I do not have a death wish. At least, not today," her partner grinned. "But since you're here, we could finish out run together, if you want."

Inside she was wondering how he knew she was almost finished her run, but outside Ziva conceded with a nod and Tony let out the breath he was holding and concentrated on keeping up with her. With a final full stride and glance at her watch a couple of minutes later, Ziva slowed to a walk, something for which Tony was glad. Running was not his favourite sport, especially since the plague had done a number on his lungs. At last she stopped and started stretching out.

He copied her, trying all the while to look like he did this all the time. "So," Tony began, attempting not to stare as Ziva's flexibility was put on display. Even her winter running clothes didn't fully disguise her lithe figure. He cleared his throat and Ziva smirked. She's caught him watching. "I know this great little coffee shop a couple blocks from here. It's a good place to get something hot. My treat," he offered.

Ziva cocked her head to the side as she thought about it. "Okay. But only because you are buying." The twinkle in her eyes gave away that she was teasing and Tony rolled his eyes.

"Come on Miss Marathon, let's go."

They both smiled as the realization dawned that they were actually enjoying each other's company outside of work, and it wasn't even movie night. Neither was ready to admit it yet, but there seemed to be a possibility that someday, there could be something between them. For now at least, it was a subject to think about.

**NCIS**

The shrill ring of his cell phone jerked Gibbs out of a deep sleep Sunday night. Groan, he rolled away from the warmth of his wife and reached to the bedside table. Flipping open the phone, he held it to his ear and wiped a hand down his face as he tried to find a coherent thought.

"Yeah, Gibbs."

A tired but confused and also slightly embarrassed sounding Cynthia greeted him. "Agent Gibbs?" she said, perplexed. "I called the Director."

Muttering dark things under his breath, Gibbs squinted at the phone, seeing the cursive 'J' his wife had put on her cell with white out. "Why do these phones all look the same?" he grumbled. Cynthia understood it was a rhetorical question and waited. "Hold on," he said.

Scooting closer to the still sleeping woman beside him, Gibbs brushed his knuckles down her cheek. "Jen? Jenny? Come on honey, wake up."

Jenny made a sleepy noise and forced her leaden eyelids open. "Jethro, what...?" she asked, trying to figure out why he was waking her up in the middle of the night.

Gibbs held out the glowing phone. "Cynthia," he said, and she was immediately awake and sitting up.

"Hello Cynthia," Jenny cleared her throat when her voice still sounded groggy. "What's wrong?" The Director of a federal agency didn't get a middle of the night phone call because life was good and the world was at peace.

Gibbs heard a quick string of words while Cynthia caught Jenny up on the situation. Jenny closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose as she listened. "Mmhmm," she nodded. "Yes, I see. Alright, alert my detail, I'll be ready in ten. Tell him I'll be there as soon as I can. Thank you."

Closing the phone, Jenny sighed. "SecNav wants me in MTAC an hour ago. Someone hacked into a submarine that was out on a training mission. A crew of seven is dead and no one knows why." Gibbs squeezed her hand as Jenny slid out of bed. "Wake your team Jethro," she glanced at the red numbers on the alarm clock showing almost 2 am, "I think it's going to be a long night."

**NCIS**

There was nothing on anyone's radar for the next eighteen hours except the case. Jenny pulled her hair into a ponytail, threw on a suit and dark top, and left Gibbs with the briefest of kisses on his cheek. She was at NCIS with in half an hour of receiving the call, opting to go in without her husband because she needed to be Director Shepard right now, not Jenny Gibbs, and she couldn't afford the distraction of being in the same car with him.

Three hours of sleep was not good for anyone, let alone a woman not even three and a half months pregnant, and the first thing she met with on arrival at her office was the white porcelain of the toilet. Then, like any good agent, she put it behind her, grabbed a handful of soda crackers and a bottle of gingerale, and followed her assistant to MTAC. She would not be seen outside of it for several hours.

A short, gruff phone call from Gibbs as soon as Jenny left the house had Tony dragging Ziva and McGee from their beds. The threat Gibbs explained to him was serious enough to keep Tony from asking McGee if Abby was laying right beside him when he offered to be the one to wake her up. What he didn't know was that Tim took every excuse he could to pick his girlfriend up for work, glad for the few extra minutes of her company it gave him as they drove together.

The team all filed in within the next half hour, not surprised to see Gibbs already at his desk with a cup of coffee, making notes on a pad of paper. "McGee!" he snapped, not looking up. "Lab." He tossed a pad of sticky notes at the junior agent. "That's everything you'll need. Figure out how the heck someone hacked into a freakin' submarine!"

Tim's eyes widened and he backed away slowly, relieved to be banished when it meant being with Abby and out of Gibbs' line of fire. Tony winced at Gibbs' tone and exchanged a quick glance with Ziva. _Not enough coffee_, he noted glumly, and it wasn't even 0300 yet.

"DiNozzo, David," Gibbs voice cut through their thoughts and the partners froze. "Go talk to the man in charge of this training operation. Men are dead and until you hear otherwise, everyone is a suspect. Got it?"

"Got it Boss. On it," Tony replied rapidly.

Also happy to be gone until their boss got at least three cups of coffee under his belt, Tony and Ziva didn't say another word, slipping quietly into the elevator. Alone again, Gibbs put the paper cup down and stared grimly at the photos of the men who had died.

One had been commanding subs for thirty-five years and was due to retire in April. Three of the others were married, one had a two month old son. Of the remaining three, one man was engaged to be married, one a rookie on his first training mission, and the last was a widower with two small children.

Gibbs dropped his head into his hands and then slowly looked up to fix his gaze on the catwalk, wishing he could see Jenny there. But she was locked in MTAC with SecNav, Leon, Hetty, and other department heads on screen, she'd be there for awhile. Clenching his fingers into a fist, Gibbs glowered at the incident report in front of him. Whoever killed those men was going to pay, and he'd see to it personally. No one got away with this, not on his watch.


	34. Chapter 34

By early afternoon everyone was starting to drag. Tony has lost count of the number of empty coffee cups Gibbs had thrown away. He was on his fourth cup and Ziva was nursing her third. McGee, who alternated between working with Abby in the lab and letting his fingers perform their magic in the bullpen, had started with ice caps but was now on his second cup of black coffee with lots of little white sugar packets in the garbage can beside his desk.

So far a countless number of people had been interviewed, some ordered to Interrogation for a second round and two were, predictably, AWOL and therefore currently on the top of the team's list of suspects. Those men were their main priority right now.

It had come as a great relief to all when Gibbs disappeared upstairs five minutes before. All three agents were hoping the Director could calm him down a little. Gibbs had been wound incredibly tight since the moment they all walked into work.

But Jenny was taking a much needed nap on the sofa in her office, so all Gibbs could do was cover her with the blanket and kiss her forehead. He longed for her lips on his, her touch, a hug, anything to soothe the rage building inside him. Instead he had to be content with watching her sleep for a few minutes, before going back downstairs and letting his tension out on anyone who got in his way. No matter how much he needed her, there was no way he was going to wake her up.

Once they hit supper time, Gibbs agreed grudgingly to a half hour break so everyone could go get food, since none of them had eaten more than a granola bar in hours. It was also clear to the team that any New Year's Eve plans would be crashing and burning. They wouldn't be allowed out of sight until the person or persons responsible were cowering in lock up after an encounter with one very intimidating Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

On his way to see Ducky, who was up to his elbows in autopsies and reports, Gibbs was not expecting to have the elevator doors open and see his wife standing there. He'd barely stepped in before she hit the switch and took his face in her hands, scrutinizing his eyes.

Without a word she pulled him into a hug and Gibbs sagged against the elevator wall with his wife in his arms. Letting his head fall to her shoulder, Gibbs was comforted immensely by Jenny's fingers in his hair, and her breath on his skin as she whispered quiet words, the storm inside him fading away at her touch.

Leaning back, Jenny kissed him tenderly, resting her hands on his chest. Gibbs gathered her closer, crushing her against him, urgency marking his touch. For several moments she let his hands roam over her body, enjoying the sensations they elicited but also knowing that he needed this time with her. But when Gibbs reached for the button on her pants, Jenny shook her head.

Kissing him once more, long and slow, she stepped back, the heaviness of responsibility in her eyes. "No Jethro," she said softly, "no here, not now."

The want in Gibbs' eyes disappeared and his head dropped. "Seven guys Jen, with wives and families. One with a brand new baby." His voice trembled on the last word and Jenny got close again, slipping her arms around her husband's waist under his jacket. Gibbs gripped her against him, trying to focus on her warmth and the comfort of her touch.

"I love you Jethro," she told him in a tone that left no room for uncertainty. "What happened to those men was awful and we will get whoever is responsible. But to do that I need you to focus on your job, and you can't do that if you look at their faces and see yours, or look at their families and see me and the baby." Jenny turned his face to hers. "We are okay Jethro, we are going to be okay." She kissed him quickly. "It's time to get back to work."

Jenny's hand found his heartbeat and she smiled before turning around, flicking the switch and letting the elevator continue to its destination. She got out on the next floor. "I'm proud of you," she said, meeting his eyes. "Now go catch the dirtbags who did this."

Gibbs saluted. "Yes ma'am."

**NCIS**

Perps can run but they can't hide forever, especially when it's Team Gibbs responsible for finding them. At 9:46 pm the two dirty, protesting, and scared crapless main suspects were escorted into NCIS headquarters, babbling that they weren't the only ones involved, and passing blame back and forth as quickly as they could like it was a life and death game of Hot Potato. All Gibbs had to do was look in their direction and the young submarine technicians were cowering and quaking in their boots. Apparently twenty grand each was not enough to have to deal with him.

Tony and Ziva stuck the men in separate interrogation rooms and left them to stew for awhile. Glad for a minute to be away from the clearly guilty detainees who hadn't shut up since they'd been caught, the partners leaned against the orange hallway wall and took a breather. "Gotta give Jenny...er, the Director props," Tony said at last. "I don't know what she did, but she should do it more often."

Ziva frowned at him. "Tony, what are you talking about?"

Tony stared at her. "You're telling me you didn't notice?"

Ziva crossed her arms. "Notice what?"

"How the savage beast had been mysteriously soothed while we were out getting food? Gibbs was back to grunting and glaring instead of biting our heads off whenever we so much as twitched." He rubbed the back of his head gently. "I can still feel that headslap from earlier."

Ziva thought about this. "Yes, I supposed he was being much more civil compared to earlier, but maybe Gibbs just needed some time alone."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Zi, I've worked with Gibbs for seven years and he never just calms down that much by being alone. I'm telling you, it was Jenny."

"What was Jenny?" Gibbs asked, rounding the corner, not pleased to hear his wife's name at work when she was supposed to be 'Director'. He was the only one who go to call her 'Jenny' inside the building.

Tony gulped. "Uh..." His eyes darted to Ziva, panic clear in the green orbs. She sighed and decided to save him this time.

"We were just saying Gibbs, that is must've been Jenny who got the location of where those men were hiding out. None of our contacts came through." The words flowed smoothly from Ziva's lips, with no pause or hesitation to indicate her speech was a complete fabrication. Tony watched her performance in admiration, feeling a little bit nervous about how good of a liar she was.

Gibbs eyed them both with a hard stare, "Hmpth," and didn't say whether he believed her or not.

**NCIS**

Two hours and two full spoken, written, and signed confessions later, Gibbs and the team were busy filling out paperwork in the bullpen. The case was almost closed, but since the man behind the whole plan fell into FBI jurisdiction, they had to leave everything in Fornell's capable hands. Gibbs couldn't decide if he were relieved to be free of the case or bugged that it was ordered to be turned over.

At five minutes to midnight, Abby came in from the back elevator and wrapped her arms around McGee from behind. Similarly, Jenny descended the stairs and as there was nowhere else to sit, settled herself in her husband's lap. Ziva looked at them both curiously.

"It's almost midnight," was Abby's explanation, but it did not help with Ziva's question.

"Tradition Zi," Tony elaborated. "You're supposed to kiss someone at midnight. Even better if it's someone you love." He made a face at Abby and McGee, who were getting a head start. "Geez you two, get a room why don't you?" Abby turned around and stuck her tongue out at him and Tony turned his attention back to Ziva. "Great idea, right?"

She arched an eyebrow at him, clearly not trusting his words. When Jenny nodded that he was telling the truth, Ziva opened a drawer and set her gun on the desk, daring Tony to try it. He just shot her a wicked grin and said nothing. But he was thinking a whole lot more than that.

Clicking a few keys, McGee turned on the plasma screen and they watched a timer count down from one minute. 2007 was almost over and hopes rose high that 2008 would be so much better. Abby and McGee were lost in each other's eyes - Abby imagining a wedding and McGee the life they'd share.

Gibbs' hand rested overtop of Jenny's on her stomach, thinking of their baby and the changes next summer would bring. Tony's gaze flickered to Ziva as he watched her steadfastly ignore him. What he was thinking wasn't safe for either of them. What she'd glimpsed in his eyes would take them from partners and friends to something more, and even though she might hope for it sometimes, Ziva still wasn't ready to give in, not yet.

The timer hit eleven seconds and the team started counting backwards with it. "10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1 - Happy New Year!"

Abby hugged McGee tightly and then drew back to kiss him full on the mouth, not caring who was watching. On the other side of the room, Christmas Day had assured the bosses that a little PDA every now and then wouldn't completely kill their reputations, and Gibbs guided Jenny's lips to his without a second thought.

Tony stared at Ziva, finally catching her eyes. Rising slowly, he walked over to her desk and got so close she wondered if he would try to kiss her and if she'd let him, or if she'd have to hurt him to discourage him from doing it again. Then Tony bent down right beside her ear and whispered, "Happy New Year Zi." He tucked a piece of her hair back and smiled. When he met her gaze, Tony noticed something different in her eyes, something softer, and wondered what it meant.

Ziva looked down and back up, repeating the words softly. For the rest of the night she watched him every chance she got, but he never did more than smile. Jenny, who caught the partners' exchange out of the corner of her eye, kept the information to herself. Gibbs might refuse to believe there was something between those two, but just like every other time, them falling in love someday was simply inevitable.

**NCIS**

A full twenty-four hours after they'd been awakened in the middle of the night, Gibbs and Jenny were back in bed, lying in each other's arms. Gibbs was running his hand slowly up and down her side and tired as they were, Jenny knew he'd eventually work his way under her shirt, wanting to feel her skin, wanting to be with her.

Beside her, Gibbs turned onto his side, looking at his wife. "Excited for the new year Jen?"

Jenny kept her sigh inaudible. A lot of heavy things were weighing down her mind and it was hard not to just blurt them out, but all she wanted was to make them go away. "A lot is going to change, with us," she said finally.

Gibbs watched her for a minute. "Yeah," he said slowly, "but it's going to be a good change, right?"

Wishing she could feel her baby move, or feel a change in her body so she knew this was real and not just something they'd imagined, Jenny wrapped her arms around her waist. "There's so much unknown, about being a parent. A new life," she shrugged, "it's too precious a gift to mess up."

Leaning forward, Gibbs kissed her softly. "We'll figure it out together Jen, you and me. And you're going to make a great mom."

"Do you love me?" Jenny asked suddenly, and he wondered if she was teasing. Surely by now she didn't have to ask. But he knew he never tired of hearing those words.

"With all my heart," he promised. "Always have..."

"...always will," she finished with a small smile.

Moving closer, Gibbs kissed his way up her neck until he got to her ear. "Jenny Gibbs, I love you no matter what."

Jenny closed her eyes and felt his hand slide under her shirt. She raised her face to receive his kiss, but inside her heart was crying out. Those words he'd just spoken echoed words from weeks ago, the night they'd learned the baby she carried was theirs.

If Gibbs had any idea what his wife was thinking right then, he might've tried to set her straight, but believing they wanted the same thing, he used his hands and lips to get her ready, and Jenny's senses responded in spite of the thoughts collecting slowly in her head.

She gave him her body that night, but her heart wasn't in their love making and she wanted to cry when it became obvious that Gibbs couldn't tell something was wrong. Maybe it was the hormones or maybe she just couldn't keep the doubts quiet any more.

Even after they had finished and Gibbs was asleep behind her, Jenny couldn't help but think the same things over and over. She had to know what Gibbs would've done if she'd chosen an abortion over the option of adoption that he didn't even know she'd decided on. She just couldn't live with the questions any more. Would he have still loved her if she'd gone through with it? This time she needed an answer.


	35. Chapter 35

It had been a relatively quiet week. Jenny's morning sickness had calmed down, but she was left feeling queasy and nauseous most of the day and wasn't quite sure about the trade-off. Gibbs watched her carefully for days, trying to figure out if something was going on.

Ever since New Year's Eve she'd withdrawn, allowing his touch, but not as much, never initiating any intimacy between them, and sometimes looking at him with eyes that said she was hurting even when her actions tried to prove otherwise.

Gibbs had forgotten how good she was at pretending, in the last month she'd pretty much given it up, now it was back again. Still, he didn't think that much about his wife's behaviour, assuming that when she was ready, she'd tell him. Until the first Monday in January when his phone rang unexpectedly at a quarter to four in the afternoon.

"Yeah, Gibbs," he answered in his usual tone.

"Agent Gibbs? This is Heidi from Dr. Renway's office. She'd like you to come down and join your wife's session."

Gibbs sat up straighter. "Is Jenny okay?" he asked. He hadn't attended therapy with her since the end of October when she had her evaluation. A request like this could not mean anything good.

Heidi declined to answer. "All I know is that your presence is requested. Can you come?"

"Five minutes," Gibbs agreed, snapping his cell shut and making for the elevator. Jenny was fine earlier, what was going on?

**NCIS**

_45 Minutes Earlier, Dr. Renway's Office_

Kristyn stood to greet her patient. "Thank you for coming early Jenny. I had a cancellation and figured I'd try to get both of us out early today." Jenny nodded but didn't make eye contact as she took a seat, and the psychiatrist was immediately suspicious.

"How was your week?" she asked, figuring to start with something benign. "Did you and Mr. Gibbs do anything special for New Year's Eve?"

Jenny shook her head jerkily, staring at the floor. "We had a case," she said softly.

Frowning, Kristyn tried to think how she could ask what was wrong without being obvious about it. The direct approach did not always work with Jenny. "Was it a hard case?" Better to start with the basics.

"Seven dead," Jenny confirmed after a moment, "men with families."

Hearing more in the statement than the woman was admitting to, Kristyn was able to work out fairly quickly what she wasn't saying. "Any of those men have a new baby?" A minute nod confirmed what the doctor had thought, but her conclusions were slightly off. She lowered her voice. "Did it make you think about your baby?" Pregnant women were not always rational. Jenny didn't need to have a connection to the victims for a fatherless baby to bother her.

"Not me," Jenny said, her posture slowly sagging as if under a weight she couldn't bear, "Jethro."

Dr. Renway remembered Jenny telling her once that Gibbs had a special place in his heart for kids. And with his own baby on the way, it was easy to imagine how his burden of guilt had become hers. "Hmm..." she drew the sound out, "how did he handle that?"

Jenny squeezed her eyes shut and Kristyn realized how little resistance she'd met trying to get answers today. Even in light of her patient's progress over the past twelve weeks, it wasn't normal. "He wanted to sleep with me."

"At work?" The doctor's eyebrows rose, but she understood that a deep need for reassurance like that did not confine itself to appropriate times and places. She was almost afraid to ask for details even if it was her job. "And?"

Looking to the side, Jenny wove her fingers tightly together. "I wouldn't let...I couldn't...not at work, during a case. We needed to be focused, to get the guy who did it. But after..." she trailed off and it was clear she was struggling. Her obvious distress made the doctor realize they were getting close to the heart of the problem.

"What happened after the case was over Jenny?" Kristyn asked gently.

Two tears leaked down Jenny's face and Kristyn understood that whatever she was about to say was causing some serious turmoil inside of her. "I let him," she whispered. "When we got home I let him have me. But the whole time he never noticed...he didn't realize that I didn't want it. And I haven't let him touch me since." There, it was out now. Jenny drew a shuddering breath.

Kristyn was alarmed. "Jenny, did you ask him to stop?" A head shake. "Did you tell him you didn't feel like being intimate right then?" Another shake. "Did you try to push him away?" Jenny continued shaking her head with every question and Dr. Renway closed her eyes.

Did Jenny realize the damage she'd done to herself, to her recovery by her inaction? To give in to her husband's desire for sex when it was the last thing she wanted to do was tantamount to taking away her voice. It would signify being forced in her mind, or something awfully close to it. And whatever effect it had on Jenny had only gotten worse with a week to dwell on it.

"Oh Jenny," she said quietly, "you need to feel that it's safe, that it's okay to say no. I've met your husband and I know he would never force himself on you if it was something you didn't want. We've talked about this. He's a great man but he can't read your mind. You need to verbalize what you're feeling, you can't expect him to know. Men won't always know the things we think they should." Kristyn paused. "Has this been on your mind all week? Have you -"

"It wasn't the sex!" Jenny blurted out and Kristyn looked at her, waiting for an explanation. She didn't have to wait long and the words came out in a rush. "Not completely anyways. It bothered me that he didn't notice, but that's not the issue." She sighed. "We were talking about the new year, a new life, like it was a new beginning. But the only thing I could think about was that I still don't know. And how can I trust his love if I don't know? What if it hadn't been his baby, Kristyn?"

Jenny's eyes were bright, her thoughts painful to speak, like shards of glass falling from her heart. "What if I hadn't done that research and waited for the results? What if I'd actually gone through with it? I don't even know if he would've still loved me after an abortion!"

Desperation flooded the redhead's eyes as tears flowed down her face and suddenly it dawned on Kristyn. Jenny had finally reached the point where she couldn't keep it inside any longer, all the doubts she'd had even after the test said her husband was the baby's father. She hadn't been able to help her patient the last time the subject came up, but now Jenny was ready to let her in.

"Jenny, look at me. Come on Jenny, remember how important eye contact is? I need to know you're hearing me." Reluctantly, Jenny's eyes met Kristyn's and held, though barely for a three second count. "Okay, that's good. Now take a deep breath for me. Great, and another. Nice deep breaths, just focus, that's right." It was clear that Jenny was on the verge of a panic attack and that would not help anything.

Waiting several moments, Dr. Renway finally leaned forward. "We're going to go back to this issue Jenny, and we'll work through it, I promise. Before you leave today we're going to do something about it."

**NCIS**

Fifteen minutes later Kristyn eyed her troubled patient, who sat hunched over, refusing to look at her husband. Gibbs sat on the couch beside Jenny, concerned because he'd been called down to be a part of her session and she hadn't moved since he walked in the room.

He shot a glance towards the therapist, wondering what was going on. As far as he knew, Jenny had been fine when she left the house this morning. But the woman he was looking at now was not fine.

"Jenny," Kristyn asked softly, "was there something you wanted to ask your husband?"

Jenny's eyes darted around the room, filling with tears Gibbs could hear in her voice when they finally fell on him. "Would you still have loved me if I'd gotten an abortion?"

Though the words were whispered, Gibbs felt a blow as if she'd shouted them at him. His eyes widened and he opened his mouth...but didn't know what to say. In truth, it had been weeks since he had even thought about what might've happened if the baby turned out not to be theirs.

But for the week before the test results came in, Gibbs had agonized over the same question, never finding an easy answer. The only one he'd finally come up with was one he didn't ever want to have to tell his wife, because it would probably shatter her heart. And he'd spent the weeks since December tenth under the assumption that since the baby was theirs, his secret was safe. But this moment it was being threatened.

Jenny took his silence as a 'no', and made a strangled sound in her throat before tears began streaming down her cheeks. Kristyn looked between them and closed her eyes briefly. Gibbs saw resolve there when she opened them again. "Okay," she said firmly, "I think we need a break. Jenny," Kristyn handed her some tissues, "I'm going to ask Heidi to take you to that empty office across the hall. Bring your journal and start working on your entry for today."

Jenny nodded jerkily and moved past Gibbs without looking at him. Kristyn stuck her head out the door to tell her assistant what to do and closed it again, then sat down facing Gibbs. "Please tell me you have a better answer for that question than nothing," she began, jumping right in.

Gibbs looked down and sighed. "I do. But neither one of you is going to like it."

Kristyn raised one eyebrow. "Care to share?"

He met her gaze. "It was all I thought about for the whole week before we found out the baby was ours." Gibbs rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know if you know this, but a long time ago I had a child. She died. So I have a very strong opinion against abortion."

The doctor's eyes widened, her expression sympathetic, but she said nothing and waited for him to continue. His revelation certainly explained a lot.

"I don't like the answer I came up with Dr."

"Tell me," Kristyn requested softly.

"I love Jenny. I have for close to a decade and I don't think anything could ever change that. But," he looked down at his hands before making eye contact with her, "if Jen had gotten that abortion..." Gibbs sighed. "I don't know if I could've loved her the same."

Dr. Renway sat back in her chair, impressed as much as hurt by his honestly. "Jenny needs to know."

Gibbs hadn't expected that. "No. No way. I can't tell her that, she would never be able to trust my love again. We only just got that trust back."

Kristyn's eyes were sad. "How will she ever trust you fully if you don't tell her the truth, even when it comes to the tough questions?"

Staring at his wife's psychiatrist, Gibbs was appalled. How was he supposed to tell Jenny? It would break her heart. And if it broke hers, his would shatter along with it. Then nothing would be the same, not ever again.

**NCIS**

Across the hall in an empty office, Jenny curled up in one corner, not even caring that she was sitting on the floor, and with her hands covering her face, she cried. Mostly silently, with a few small sounds escaping, Jenny sobbed out her heartbreak. To even have to ask her husband that question was bad enough, but when he didn't say a word, not one word! Jenny let out a shaky breath. She didn't want to think about it any more.

Standing up, Jenny reached for the blue notebook on the desk. Caressing it softly, she took a seat with the intention of journaling through the turmoil in her soul. But when she picked up her pen, the words that flowed from it were not the ones she'd planned. Instead her entry started with the only thing that gave her comfort in this moment.

_Dear Little One, Mommy is very sad today..._

**NCIS**

After talking with Gibbs, Kristyn brought both halves of the couple back in together, watching as they, or rather Jenny, sat on opposite sides of the couch. She looked at them quietly for nearly a minute before deciding that she could help, but ultimately, working through this issue was something they'd have to do themselves.

"Jenny, Mr. Gibbs," she began, "what has come up today is a very serious topic, and it's something you both need to spend time thinking and talking about." Dr. Renway pursed her lips. "Give yourselves tonight to think and tomorrow, talk. Don't put it off," she warned. "Jenny, I want to see you again on Thursday. Mr. Gibbs, you should join her, and we'll make sure this is sorted out."

Kristyn sighed and focused on Gibbs. "I know it might seem silly to bring something like this up after a month, but Jenny never got over her questions the first time and the two of you never worked out what would've happened if the results of the paternity test had been what you expected. So now it's time."

She stood. "What you and your wife have is very special Mr. Gibbs. Some couples have broken after what you two have gone through and conquered. I've watched your relationship get stronger at every turn, and your lives intertwine more tightly after every misunderstanding has been triumphed over. Please, don't let this be the straw."

Jenny took Kristyn at her word of thinking today and not speaking, as if she hadn't heard anything else the woman said. She left therapy without looking at Gibbs and kept to herself the rest of the day. Gibbs was so busy wrestling with himself about how to tell her the truth, that he barely noticed. He let the team go at seven pm and went up to Jenny's office, knocking lightly on the door, not wanting to make things any worse by barging in as he usually did. He suddenly felt as if he'd lost a lot of privileges that he hadn't been aware were in jeopardy three hours ago.

"Ready to go?" he asked when she didn't look up.

Jenny adjusted her glasses. "I'll be awhile yet."

"See you at home later then?" Gibbs questioned, but the silence he met with left him feeling cold inside.

He drove home more slowly than usual, barely seeing the snow dusted roads or the traffic lights that flashed bright colours on his windshield. Walking into Jenny's house, and straight through to the workshop, it only took him a moment to realize he was too agitated to do any detail work on the crib.

Back inside, Gibbs looked through the fridge and found some food that would've looked appetizing at any other time. Tonight he just had no appetite for it at all. He waited an hour for Jenny to come home but when she didn't show, he gave up and went over to his place. It seemed like as good a time as any to spend some quality time with his boat.

Gibbs spent hours leaning over the wooden frame and got a solid chunk of the boat done. New holes bored and pegs pounded in, boards steamed and pressed into place to match the others. He sanded until the sweat poured off of him, then sawed the rough ends of more than a dozen boards before he finally had to give up because his muscles wouldn't cooperate any more. As much as he pushed himself to stay focused on the work at hand, Jenny was never far from his mind, and not thinking just wasn't as easy as it sounded.

He fell asleep on a rough gray blanket underneath his boat. It had been months since he'd done that, for the week Jenny was away and their bed hadn't been the same without her. And since they got married, sleeping with his boat held next to no appeal when there was a warm wife to cuddle with. Even here, at his own house, Gibbs couldn't go upstairs to sleep. If he did, Jenny's scent would be everywhere and it would drive him more crazy than his current thoughts to smell her and not be near her or able to touch her. So he wasn't around to notice that Jenny didn't come home that night.


	36. Chapter 36

Jenny woke up in her office and sat up, groggy from a night of shadowed dreams and missing the comfort of her own bed and the warmth of her own husband. She sat up, rubbing her eyes, and stilled as a wave of nausea made her stomach roll.

She hadn't thrown up in days and was trying to take Merry's advice about eating before it got worse. There was a sleeve of crackers in the top drawer of her desk and a bottle of gingerale in her bag. Then she'd have to go downstairs and use the gym shower. Pulling a bag from the closet, Jenny was glad she still kept an extra set of clothes around. It had been more than nine months since she needed them last. Gibbs did not like when she slept in her office.

A little while later she stood under a hot spray of water, carefully shampooing her long hair. Having heard somewhere that it was good to talk to the baby, Jenny started, feeling self-conscious at first. Her father had teased her for years about her penchant for talking to herself and Rachel had continued it in college, even if her roommate was always doing the same thing. Once she'd started working for NCIS, Jenny had to curb the habit. Gibbs could be anywhere at any time and she hadn't wanted him to hear her stream of consciousness.

"It feels good to get clean," she observed out loud. "I always feel icky after sleeping in my clothes." Squeezing a mound of conditioner into her palm, Jenny began working it through the red tresses. "If your daddy didn't love my hair long so much, I'd cut it off in a heartbeat. But then what would he brush?"

Her words registered and Jenny closed her eyes tightly. It seemed that everything eventually lead back to Gibbs. It was an example of how tightly their lives had been woven together in the months since their wedding. Jenny sagged against the wall.

"Am I being foolish Little One? Should I just leave well enough alone and push all the doubts away?" She covered her face with her hands. "But why won't my heart let go? If it was easy, it wouldn't hurt so much."

Coming to no simple conclusion aside from the truth she'd shared with her husband after their first big fight, that she held onto hurt even when she didn't know why, Jenny touched her stomach gently, ending the thoughts she was willing to share with her baby.

Ten minutes later the redhead decided it just wasn't her day. There was a new development when she started dressing - for the first time her pants were feeling snug and just the thought of when she wouldn't be able to fit into them at all was enough to bring Jenny to tears.

On her way upstairs, the Director was glad it was still early. Talk they probably should, but she had no wish to run into her husband until absolutely necessary. Jenny had several out of the office meetings and appointments that day and was kept busy until mid-afternoon.

Like a coward, she came in a different way and took the back elevator to her office. The first glimpse Gibbs got of his wife was her back. He hoped that wasn't a foreshadowing of their future conversation. For all his thinking last night, he knew Kristyn was right, that Jenny deserved an answer to her question, and that it had to be the truth. But Gibbs dreaded the moment he spoke those words and watched her trust in him crumble to dust.

**NCIS**

Jenny went home with her security detail that night, still avoiding the inevitable confrontation that was coming. Gibbs was sitting at the kitchen table, staring at his hands when she walked in the front door. He stood slowly and walked towards her, stopping just outside the doorway. Jenny's brow furrowed and she couldn't help but feel that the distance between them was about to become a battleground.

"Kristyn said you deserved an answer," Gibbs started without preamble, "but I don't think you want to hear it and I really don't want to tell you what's in my head."

Annoyance coloured Jenny's reaction to his warning. "Just say it Jethro, since apparently now you have something to say."

Her reference to yesterday was a dig that found its mark, but Gibbs knew he deserved that one. "I love you Jenny," he began, "I will always love you. I need you to hear that, to know that. I thought a lot about loving you that week we didn't talk, and an abortion Jenny?" Anguish dripped from his words. "Not even that could make me stop loving you, but..." he hesitated and finally pounded in the last few nails. "I don't know if I could've loved you the same."

Jenny absorbed his words like a blow. The colour drained from her face and her heart physically hurt. "Why?" The single wounded word ripped through the air.

Gibbs frowned. "It didn't matter how that life inside you started Jenny, it deserved a chance, not death for a wrong it hadn't committed. His voice hardened. "Do you know what you almost stole from us?" he shot at her. "It's our baby."

Jenny's hands rested firmly on her hips, her voice getting louder. "You didn't know that! Neither of us knew."

"Even if we didn't Jen, being pregnant, having a life inside you...how could you have been thinking about ending it?" Gibbs couldn't wrap his mind around what had been going through her head.

Jenny was frustrated and angry and hurt beyond belief at the truth her husband had admitted to her. "Stop Jethro!" she yelled, digging her fingers into her already messy hair. "This isn't about Kelly! It's about you and me, but more me, because in case you forgot, I'm the one who was raped." Her tone softened and she met his tormented gaze. "I love you, but it had to be my choice, no matter what." She was using his words against him, and Gibbs knew he deserved it.

"I wish you'd talked to me about it," he finally said. "What you were thinking and feeling."

She shook her head. "You never gave me the chance. You never asked me what I decided." Jenny paced away from him, wishing the entry was so much larger right now. "I didn't know if I could keep the baby, but I wasn't going to get an abortion. I couldn't, not after I saw that video, and how alive a baby is at eight weeks." Tears started to gather in her eyes. "But that's not the point Jethro and that's not even the important part."

Jenny waited, so at last Gibbs asked. "What is?"

"I need you to love me even when it hurts."

Gibbs' brow furrowed and he opened his mouth but Jenny was already answering his question.

"I loved you after you turned me down, even when I found out about Shannon and how you hadn't told me." She closed her eyes. "I loved you through seven years of regrets, for which I take my share of the blame. Some days it nearly killed me. But not loving you would've been so much worse." Jenny stood tall and stared at him. "How much worse would it be for you?"

The words hit Gibbs' heart and he felt the truth of them. He hadn't thought about it that way, but Jenny was making a lot of sense. Still, he didn't know what to say to his wife. He'd loved her even when he hadn't wanted to. There was never a future moment Gibbs could see when he wouldn't love Jenny. She was his heart, his hope, his miracle, everything.

Jenny's eyes shadowed at his silence. "You and your 'no matter what'?" she scoffed, shaking her head. "Our vows don't count for anything if we can't say 'I love you' and mean it when we're in the middle of 'worse'." She crossed her arms. "Don't say those words again until you can mean them deeper than just the surface."

With that she walked away, unable to spend any more time in the same room with him. She needed a friend right now, not a husband, though they should be one in the same. Several minutes later Jenny came back with her coat and car keys.

She would go see Meredith. She needed the older woman's wisdom desperately tonight. Because right now, Jenny couldn't see how she and Gibbs were going to make it past this. All she knew was that she had to hold onto their long ago promise, that no matter how bad things got, neither of them would ever bring up the 'D' word. Their love deserved more than that.

**NCIS**

Jenny got into her car, the force of anger and sadness inside of her making her hands shake. She had to try three times before she could get the key in the ignition. She pulled out of the driveway, intent on nothing but getting away from Gibbs and the house and everything that had been said. The road ahead blurred as tears clouded her vision and Jenny blinked them away fiercely, not needing to get into a car accident tonight. Her baby had fought hard enough to make it this far, they didn't need any more challenges.

At first she was headed towards Bill and Meredith's, but though Jenny knew they cared about her, she wondered if their loyalty to Gibbs came first. She couldn't risk it. And how could she talk to Meredith about a baby she might've aborted, when her friend hadn't been able to give birth to any of the babies she'd so badly wanted?

Rachel was the next likely choice, but supportive or not, Jenny knew well the opinions her friend truly held about abortion. What she needed right now was someone who would just listen, someone to whom she could pour out her heart and get no judgement or condemnation from. And then suddenly Jenny knew there was only one place she could go. Turning around, she drove, anxious to see him again.

**NCIS**

It was the third time Jenny had walked away from him and Gibbs tried to remember what it meant when things came in threes. Did that mean next time it would be for good? Despite his regret for hurting his wife, the truth of her words lay bare his heart and he could think of nothing but her parting shot. _"You and your 'no matter what'. Don't say those words to me again until you can mean them."_

Still, as angry as Jenny had been, he cared about what happened to her and he wanted to know she was safe. Gibbs knew that Jenny sometimes drove when she was crying and that scared him. Giving her half an hour to get wherever she was going, he picked up the phone and started making calls.

When he'd gone through Ziva, Ducky, and Bill and Meredith, there was only one number left to try. "Hello, Rachel?" Gibbs asked.

She smiled "Hey Jethro, how are things?"

Figuring she wouldn't be so cheerful and welcoming if her best friend had shown up at her place in tears, touting terrible stories about insensitive, emotionally stunted husbands, Gibbs asked anyways. "Jenny's not there, is she?"

Rachel's tone grew cautious and he knew she wasn't sure who's side to be on. "No. Why?"

He sighed, preparing for the lecture that was likely coming. No one messed with Jenny and got through Rachel unscathed. "We had a fight. Look Rachel," Gibbs said, cutting her off before she could start, "I don't need to hear it. I'm already beating myself up about it and am aware that it's probably mostly my fault. But Jenny left and I don't know where she is. Even if I did, she's not going to want to see me. Will you help me find her?"

Gibbs asking for help like that was something different and Rachel swallowed her words. "I'll check some old haunts and let you know," she promised, already grabbing her coat and boots. Rachel was thinking so intently about where to start that she hung up the phone without saying goodbye and Gibbs was left alone again.

He drifted around the house, finding nothing to occupy neither hands nor thoughts. Finally, in desperation, Gibbs pulled on his jacket and trudged out to the workshop. Walking around, he ran his fingers over the tools lined up neatly, reliving the memory of their first Christmas when he came to the chisel from Jenny. He surveyed the nearly finished crib that sat on a table in the center of the room, just looking at it brought pain. The black and white picture pinned to the wall drew his eyes and Gibbs gently touched the barely there form of his baby.

"I love your mom," he whispered, "I love her with everything I have to give, from the depths of my soul. I don't know how things got so messed up again but I swear to you, I'm going to find a way to fix it." Gibbs closed his eyes. "I can't lose both of you." Words unspoken hung in the air, _Not again_.


	37. Chapter 37

Rachel's mind raced as she got in her car, a list of places to check scribbled in her notebook. But it was too long and Gibbs wasn't the only one worried. Rachel tried to think. Where would she go if she couldn't stand to be with the one who loved her the most? The answer was clear - she'd go to her dad. The man who'd loved her first, who would hug her tight and then promise to teach a lesson to whoever had hurt her. And suddenly Rachel knew exactly where Jenny would've gone if she felt like there was no on left who loved her or understood.

It was a good thirty minute drive from her apartment and Rachel fretted the whole time, much better at worrying a problem in circles than actually solving it. Disjointed thoughts ran through her head as she sent up silent prayers and hoped she got there before Jenny left.

A dark SUV was parked three spaces away from Jenny's car when Rachel pulled into the cemetery parking lot. It had been years, but she knew Jasper Shepard's grave was five rows down and four spaces over from the main path. A shadow stepped in front of her, blocking her way and Rachel jumped, remembering another shadow in a dark space between the buildings on campus. But she refused to give in to a twenty year old flashback and stared the man down.

"What do you want?" The need to get past him and see her friend made her bold.

The man pulled a badge out of his pocket. "NCIS, this is a secure area."

"So she's here then," Rachel breathed a sight of relief, knowing he must be part of Jenny's security detail. She tried to continue but he stopped her.

"And you are?"

Indignation rose, but realizing she didn't have 'best friend of Director Shepard' tattooed on her forehead, Rachel smiled and tried to play nice. "An old friend. I need to talk to Jenny." The guy was like a rock wall, refusing to move. Rachel sighed. "If you don't believe me, call Jethro...um, Agent Gibbs. He's the one who sent me. My name is Rachel Wayne."

Whispering something in his comm, the agent waited for his partner to make the call. Barely a minute later she was cleared and finally got to the path. She turned back. "I'm glad you guys are so careful of her." At least her best friend was well protected.

The man gave her a slight smile. "Can you imagine what Gibbs would do to us if we weren't?"

Rachel grinned and then hurried off to find her friend.

**NCIS**

_Thirty minutes earlier..._

Jenny lowered herself slowly to the cold stone bench, wishing she'd thought to bring ear muffs. She stared at the headstone for a long time. "Hi Daddy," Jenny said finally. She choked back the tears that came with her next words. "I didn't have anywhere else to go."

She shivered and tears spilled down her cheeks, stinging in the cold air. "I don't know what to do. What he said, Daddy, it broke my heart, but I know he didn't want to tell me and maybe I shouldn't've asked." Jenny covered her mouth with her mittened hand, stifling the sobs.

"Everything hurts right now and I could really use one of your hugs." She wiped away the tears and tried to smile. "I never even told you you're going to be a grandfather. I'm sorry it's been so long Daddy."

She sat there in the frigid January night, shivering and bouncing her leg and blowing on her hands, watching as her breath froze in the air and then disappeared. She told her father about her husband, about being married, but skipped the events of October.

"It was bad," Jenny admitted, "but you'd just be mad you weren't there to do something to the guy. Oh," she smiled, "remember Rachel, Daddy, my friend from college? Well, she's back, and," her voice was soft, "I'm really glad."

"I hope you're still going to be glad when you turn around," a voice spoke out of the darkness and Jenny swivelled around.

"Rachel?"

"Yeah." She glanced at the grave. "Hi Mr. Shepard, sorry to interrupt. I was just checking on your daughter." Rachel gave Jenny a pointed look. "Someone is really worried about you."

"Jethro called you?" Jenny was surprised.

"I hear you had a fight," Rachel continued, sitting down close to her friend, her expression not asking for the details. "I think he feels pretty bad about it."

"He should," Jenny muttered darkly, before thinking better of it. That wasn't fair. The fault rested with both of them, not just her husband. The issue wasn't cut and dry, it was more like an open sore and they just kept stepping on it, refusing to allow it to heal.

"Uh huh," Rachel replied. "Well, it's been over an hour and it's not good for the bug if you get sick." She tugged Jenny to her feet. "Come on Jen, let me take you home."

Jenny followed her with questions swirling around in her mind. Since last March Gibbs had been her home. But nothing about them was unified right now except the life inside her that came from both of them. So where was home when they weren't together?

Before getting in Rachel's car, Jenny recognized the SUV and sighed, at least she wasn't alone. Special Agent Jason O'Leary materialized beside her, holding out his hand for her keys. He would take her car home. It was clear none of them trusted her to drive. Handing them to him with no argument, Jenny sank into the seat and rested her head back, wondering what on earth happened next.

**NCIS**

Gibbs met them at the door, thanking Rachel with his eyes even as Jenny avoided looking at him. As soon as her best friend left, Jenny went upstairs to change, not even sparing a glance for him. Gibbs sighed. He had to at least follow her and see how bad it was.

Jenny stiffened when Gibbs walked in the room but finished getting dressed in her pyjamas. Then she turned around and crossed her arms. "I don't think you should sleep in here tonight," she said, her voice flat.

Surprised, shocked, and a little bit hurt because this was the first time since their misunderstanding in October that she'd denied him access to their bed, Gibbs nonetheless nodded, not wanting to make anything worse. She climbed into bed, ignoring him, and the words 'I love you' died before they reached his tongue. He wasn't allowed to say that right now.

Slowly, Gibbs pulled the door closed halfway and turned off the light. After a brief look in the direction of the guest room, he went back downstairs and grabbed a pillow and blanket from the linen closet. After locking the door and setting the alarm, he settled on one of the couches in the library, turning his punishment into extra, self-imposed isolation. He wouldn't be able to sleep with Jenny in the next room, not able to share her bed or touch her. But the way his thoughts were racing, Gibbs wasn't sure he'd be able to sleep at all.

**NCIS**

Gibbs was gone when Jenny woke up, but she told herself she didn't care when she saw him several times at work that day. But because they acted like civil human beings, no one on the team was any the wiser about their fight. It was better that way. Abby worried too much and the rest looked too closely. So Gibbs and Jenny reverted to their pre-marriage announcement behaviour and just got better at pretending.

They had no case, so Gibbs let the team go early. Tony was too excited about the movie night he and Ziva had planned to realize it was unusual. "You're gonna love this one Zi," he promised, following her out. "It's a classic Jackie Chan movie." He grinned. "Fitting that we're getting Chinese, huh?"

Ziva rolled her eyes. "Tony. First, you say that about every movie we watch and I do not always love them. And second," she eyed him lazily, "you chose the food." Flipping her hair, Ziva turned around. "Do not forget chopsticks, you need another lesson." Tony's expression fell and he tried to hide the wince. She already knew he was hopeless, it was just funny to watch him try.

McGee left without being noticed, though Gibbs glimpsed the doors to the back elevator closing and knew Abby was probably getting a goodbye hug, maybe even an offer for a ride home. He knew both parties were getting impatient and the only reason Tim was waiting was for the ring. Gibbs was expecting to be pulled aside for a 'talk' any day now. McGee was too smart to make the same mistake twice.

Surveying the quiet bullpen, Gibbs sighed and switched off his lamp, trying not to look up towards Jenny's door. He needed to take advantage of some time at home without distraction. He didn't know about Jenny, but he couldn't keep this up. Fighting with her was something Gibbs didn't want to make a habit.

Once back at the house, his path took him out to the workshop and he began fitting the pieces of the crib together, sorting out his thoughts as his hands put bits of wood in place. He'd taken it all apart to apply the stain a couple days ago, now a few more hours and it would be ready for the grand unveiling. But it wasn't the time when they weren't speaking and it was a present to his wife and baby, somehow it didn't seem fair to try to use the crib as an apology.

His eyes and knowledge guided his fingers and while he assembled the first piece of nursery furniture, Gibbs thought about his life with Jenny. If the baby had been by the guy who raped her, he couldn't logically blame her for jumping to termination as the first and only option. As much as even the though of abortion hurt the part of his heart that loved kids and missed Kelly, Jenny had been right that it wasn't about his daughter. And weeks ago several friends had finally gotten it through his head that it wasn't his body nor his choice. Whether Gibbs agreed or not, it remained true.

Smearing carpenter's glue into a hole, Gibbs began inserting the spindles. If Jenny had gone with her original plan, they still could've possibly had their own child, and after everything that had happened, a baby might've been something Jenny welcomed, especially knowing now how much she'd wanted to get pregnant after their wedding.

But even without a child, Gibbs knew that they could've been happy. They might've shared another forty years together and spent each one madly in love and devoted to each other. And if he could only get his heart on track, they still could have that. It hit him right then that nothing - no decision, no choice, no consequence - was worth throwing away the life he and Jenny had worked for and the one that lay before them, just over this rut.

With a groan, Gibbs sank to a stool beside the workbench and covered his face with his hands. It didn't take long before his heart came to the same conclusion. Because without Jenny his life was empty and everything was meaningless and that certainly wasn't worth being right.

But Jenny? He thought about her, everything he loved from her freckles to the polish on her toenails, that gorgeous red hair and her green eyes and her heart, that had been brave enough to ask for another chance after Mexico, and brave enough to trust him again after October. She was worth anything he had to give up to keep her, especially his pride.

Jenny's heart was the other half of his when he never thought it would be whole again after Shannon, the reason that when they lay close together, two heartbeats sounded as one. What his soul exuded in grief and loss, Jenny's had reflected into love and given him the strength to try again. Having Jenny was worth everything and Gibbs knew that he'd love her beyond his dying breath, because he didn't know how to stop. And even in their worst and darkest moments, he hadn't wanted to.

A beautiful crib took shape during that long night, but the real accomplishment was how the pieces of Gibbs' heart aligned, showing him the truth and proving that he'd been wrong in what he told Jenny. There was no such thing as loving her differently or loving her the same, he just loved her. Jenny was his wife and he loved her more than anything else. Now he had to make her believe.

**NCIS**

By her second night alone Jenny realized she really missed having her husband share their bed. Despite her desperation for an answer and now the interminable wait to see if he could reconcile with himself to be able to say 'I love you' and really mean that it was forever, regardless of anything else. She just wanted to not be fighting with him and to have him holding her again.

They, whoever they were, weren't kidding when they said that sometimes the truth hurt. This one, the one Gibbs had finally admitted, did hurt. But that pain would be nothing compared to what she would feel if he couldn't mean those words again. What she'd told him was true and real, she loved him even when it hurt and tonight, it hurt very deeply. But she still couldn't imagine a life that didn't have him there. As she fell asleep, that's what Jenny held onto.


	38. Chapter 38

_A/N: Here's the chapter you guys have been waiting for! It's always nice to see our couple make up, right? Anyways, I'm sorry to say this will be the last update until Monday night. I'm out of town for a conference all weekend and have no access to my computer :( But hopefully once I'm back updates will continue to be regular through to the end of the month. Then my schedule at work changes and I don't know what my free time is going to look like._

_Thanks so much for all your reviews and comments, I enjoy every one and you guys make me so happy. Have a great weekend all! :) ~ Aliyah_

Jenny was making coffee when suddenly Gibbs' arms slid around her waist from behind. She jumped, not expecting the contact, and then tensed, remembering why they weren't touching or talking. For a moment Gibbs held her tightly to his chest, then whispered in a choked voice in her ear.

"No matter what."

The words took a moment to register but when they did, so did their significance. Jenny sagged against her husband, trying not to cry. He'd figured out how to mean them and that was all she needed. Slowly, she turned in his arms and the look in his eyes, the depth of the emotion, nearly took her breath away.

She brushed her fingers down his face and Gibbs took her hand, kissing the palm. Jenny closed her eyes and felt his breath on her lips before Gibbs' mouth covered hers and his hands came up to frame her face, fingers getting tangled in her loose hair. It was a gentle, tentative kiss, like he wasn't sure if she'd let him do even that. But Jenny welcomed the caress and leaned into him a little, letting their kiss deepen. She just wanted to feel him.

Pulling back, Gibbs tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and said roughly, "I'm sorry Jen. I love you." Then he presented her with a single red rose, repeating the declaration without a word. And this time Jenny did cry, though she swore they were happy tears even as he wiped them away.

"Me too," she said quietly, knowing he wasn't the only one who needed to apologize.

Holding onto her flower, Jenny laid her head on Gibbs' shoulder and just let him hold her. He'd never been so glad to have permission to touch his wife and cradled her closely, willing to stand there forever if they could just freeze this moment and never let go. But he had one more surprise and they didn't want to try to explain being late for work to the team, whose imaginations would just take them dangerous places.

Looking into her eyes, Gibbs saw Jenny's joy and pressed his lips to her forehead. "Come with me," he whispered, "I want to show you something." Grabbing his jacket, Gibbs draped it over her shoulders and lead her out the back door to the workshop.

Intrigued to see what he'd been working on that had been such a secret, Jenny stepped inside, shivering a bit from the cold air. Gibbs put his hands on her arms and turned her towards the corner. Jenny gasped. "Oh Jethro." Walking forward, she ran her hands lightly over the smooth wood, taking in all the details. With tears in her eyes Jenny turned to look at her husband. "It's beautiful honey. I can't believe you made this in only a month."

Gibbs kept his hands on her, not wanting to stop touching her, not yet. He kissed the back of her head. "I wanted to make something special for our baby." Gibbs sighed. "You get to experience it all because you're the one who's carrying him or her. But I can't do anything. I'm feeling left out," he admitted.

Jenny leaned back into Gibbs and took his hand. After a minute she decided to share the newest development. Lifting up her shirt, she placed his hand against her skin and ran it gently across her abdomen. "Do you feel it?" she said in a hushed tone.

Closing his eyes, Gibbs focused on his wife's body, which he knew so well. He moved his hand again and there it was, the slightest bit of roundness announcing that there was indeed a baby growing in her womb. Overcome with emotion after two days of not speaking, being forced to face losing everything, and now another indication, finally, that made Jenny's pregnancy feel real, Gibbs moved in front of his wife and kissed her softly, tenderly, and with all the love he possessed.

They stayed in that embrace for awhile before Jenny stepped back and broke the spell. "I think we better get ready for work," she said softly, bringing reality back into the little bubble of them.

Gibbs nodded, searching her eyes. "Drive in with me?" He'd missed the little moments this week.

Jenny agreed and he caught her hand as they went back inside. He'd apologized and with love she'd forgiven him, but there was still the knowledge that a kiss and a flower wouldn't make it all better right away. Gibbs knew he needed to prove himself now and he already had an idea in mind. All it required was a phone call and a little help from family.

**NCIS**

McGee got in early and sat down at his desk, immediately pulling open every drawer and rifling through them. After last night and the date he and Abby had gone on to make up for missing New Year's, he'd officially run out of patience. Now he needed to find that piece of paper. But after tearing through the entire desk, Tim still hadn't come across it. Just as he was thinking he might need to come up with a reason to leave and take a quick trip to Silver Spring, Ziva walked in, thankfully without Tony.

"Ziva!" McGee stood up quickly.

She looked at him warily. "Good morning McGee. What happened to your desk? It looks like a tomato hit it."

"Morning." He didn't have time for pleasantries today. "Do you happen to know Abram's number off by heart? I misplaced that paper you gave me."

A slight smile curved Ziva's lips. "Is it hard to wait McGee?"

The junior agent groaned and slumped into his chair. "You have no idea."

Taking pity on him, Ziva grabbed one of her cards and scribbled the number on the back. "Be polite when you ask," she warned her friend, "he does not like to be rushed."

McGee nodded. He had no intention of getting on Abram's bad side. "Thanks."

It was almost lunchtime before Tim found a moment to call. The bullpen was empty and quiet, so McGee took out his phone and Ziva's card and dialed the number.

"Shalom. This is Chosen Expressions. I am Miriam. How can I help you?"

"Hello," McGee managed, having not expected another person to answer. "Is Abram available please?"

"May I ask who is calling?"

"Special Agent Timothy McGee," he said out of habit.

"Of course. One moment please."

Beautiful foreign music began playing and Tim tried to relax. Less than a minute later the older man's voice came on the phone.

"Yes Mr. McGee, what can I do for you?"

McGee swallowed. "Hello Abram. I was just wondering if you could tell me how much longer it might be before my ...order is ready." In case anyone else happened to walk in and overhear, he had to keep the conversation sounding innocuous.

Abram chuckled. "Is it not easy to be patient when you have found the right woman. Nevertheless my friend, I was about to call you." He cleared his throat and Tim feared the worst. "I experienced some difficulty acquiring the center stone from my supplier, so it is taking longer than usual to finish your ring. Now everything is in place and I am just finishing the detail work you requested. I know that initially I said eight weeks, but I promise you will have it before the end of next week."

McGee's heart sank but he strove to continue being polite. "I appreciate the work you've put into this Abram. When I bring her in to meet you, you'll know it was worth the effort."

Abram smiled. "Love is always worth the effort Mr. McGee. Thank you for your graciousness. I will see you next week. My wife will call when the ring is ready."

"Your wife?" McGee asked, curious.

"Yes, Miriam. You just spoke with her."

"I didn't realize it was a family business." He'd been a little one track minded last time he was there.

"It is," Abram explained proudly. "My daughters Esther, Ruth, and Naomi also work with us."

"Maybe I'll meet them next time," Tim remarked. "Thank you Abram."

"Shalom," he said, ending their conversation.

McGee had barely flipped his phone closed before a pair of hands slid across his eyes and a voice he'd know anywhere giggled, "Guess who?"

While his heart hammered wondering how long she'd been standing there and what she heard, Tim played along. "Ziva!" he exclaimed. "I thought Gibbs told you to stop sneaking up on people?"

Behind him, Abby grinned and shook her head. "Nope."

"Director, aren't you above playing such games?" McGee continued. His choices for women he worked with were rather limited.

Abby leaned in and kissed the back of his neck. "Last guess Timmy."

He pulled her hands from his face and turned around. "Well, in that case it must be my beautiful girlfriend come to grace me with her presence."

She dragged him to his feet so she could hug him tightly. Then Abby checked the area for people, specifically Gibbs-type people, and quickly kissed his lips. "Right answer."

McGee drew her back against him. "I love you Abby, have I told you that recently?"

Abby bit her lip and shrugged, looking very mischievous. "Probably. But I'm never going to complain about hearing it again."

He fingered the bottom of one of her braids and looked deep into her eyes. "I can't wait to ask you," he whispered and Abby's eyes widened. Lately he'd tried to stay away from the engagement topic and she got the feeling he was as frustrated with the delay as she was. Tim picked up her hand and kissed her empty ring finger, longing for the day she'd wear a declaration of his love, something that said she was his. "I just need one more thing."

Hopeful, overjoyed, and suddenly without words, Abby pressed her lips to his. Forgetting they were at work and people might see, McGee wrapped his arms around his girlfriend and Abby melted into him, pouring love and longing into the kiss.

They were fully absorbed in each other when Tony and Ziva walked into the bullpen a moment later, stopping short at the sight of their friends making out. If Ziva didn't know McGee was still waiting for Abby's ring, she would assume congratulations were in order for their engagement. Tony's mouth fell open and he and Ziva exchanged awkward glances. What they'd walked in on was...intense.

She looked over her shoulder at the elevator and Tony understood. Trying to figure out why he was saving McGee's butt, the senior field agent balled up a piece of paper and aimed at his friend's head. "Probie!" he hissed. Surprised and annoyed, McGee let go of Abby enough to glare at him. Tony jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "Gibbs in 5...4..."

As the countdown registered, McGee squeezed Abby's hand and watched her rush away. Sitting down, he started organizing his desk. Ziva cleared her throat and wiped her lips and cheek when he looked up. Shooting her a grateful smile, Tim rubbed the remnants of Abby's lipstick from his face just as Tony's countdown hit zero and Gibbs strode in holding a cup of coffee.

Casting a suspicious glance at the three of them, their boss sat down and proceeded to ignore everyone else in the room. McGee breathed a sigh of relief until his instant messenger program popped up with a new message from **TheGreatAD**. _You owe me big_.

Rolling his eyes, McGee nodded slightly, aware that Tony would hold this over his head for the foreseeable future. But thinking back to the feel of Abby in his arms and how her lips moved with his, Tim decided it was probably worth it.


	39. Chapter 39

_A/N: Thank you all for your patience while I was away and for the lovely reviews I received. This week should be fairly normal and I plan to update Wednesday and Friday as well. After that my pre-written chapters run out and there may be a short delay between updates. Thanks so much for everything guys, you are awesome! :)_

While the day had been relatively normal for everyone else, with the team in and out working on a case that was taking its time getting solved, Jenny's day had so far been full of surprises. When she walked into her office at 7:45 am, Cynthia handed her a bouquet of ten gorgeous red roses tied with a white ribbon. It was their wedding colours again and Jenny loved it. Cynthia presented them with a smile and a sideway glance towards the bullpen. Jenny fingered the soft petals. _Jethro_. It seemed he wasn't quite done apologizing yet, but even if it wasn't necessary because she'd forgiven him, she liked his approach.

Settling into her office while her assistant went hunting for a vase to display the flowers in, Jenny opened her briefcase. Laying on top of the first file she had to read was another single red rose. Confused about its appearance, Jenny picked it up and saw a tiny tag attached to the stem with the number "12" printed in black marker. After a moment, a smile crept over her face and Director Shepard got the feeling her unexpected flower deliveries were not over yet.

Pulling open the top drawer of her desk a few minutes later in search of a pen, her fingers found the silky smoothness of more red petals. This was number thirteen. Cynthia came back with a pretty green vase she'd managed to borrow from one of the ladies in reception, took one look at Jenny's face and the new flowers, and headed back out, muttering something about besotted husbands under her breath.

Jenny filled the vase with water and tucked her bouquet inside and used a tall water glass for the two single ones while she waited for her assistant to work some more of her magic. Then it was time to get to work. Halfway through the first file, Cynthia's reappearance coincided with Ducky's arrival. The ME was holding a wrapped bouquet of twelve red roses and had a smile on his face. Cynthia rolled her eyes and Ducky looked around the office, taking in the other flowers. He turned to Jenny.

"I came in this morning to find a note on my desk with these lovely roses, instructing me to deliver them to you." She accepted the bouquet, using the new vase Cynthia had brought to hold them. The older man chuckled and inclined his head towards her. "You have to admit, my hear, he does apologize in style." Jenny smirked and Ducky turned away. "I think I'll have Abby bring up a few of her vases later, just in case." He winked. "You wouldn't want to run out of room."

After that it was quiet in the Director's office and Jenny worked through four files before she had to set everything aside and head to MTAC to oversee an op. Nearly an hour passed while she was locked in the secure room and when Cynthia left to deliver a report, Ziva appeared upstairs, slipped into Jenny's outer office and deftly picked the lock on the inside door. A moment later she was gone again and no one would've been any the wiser, except the guys who were watching from the bullpen, waiting to see if she got caught.

Fifty minutes later Gibbs returned from a coffee break and dropped a mini bouquet of six roses on McGee's desk. "MTAC, now!" he barked. Tim was so surprised that he almost dared to ask, but Gibbs pinned him with a look. "The Director."

Eyes widening, McGee nodded and stood. "On it Boss."

Jenny was sitting in the front row of MTAC watching the screen closely when the senior technician, Jeff, looked up. "Agent McGee requesting entrance Director."

Jenny frowned, wondering if something urgent had happened while she had been busy. "Let him in."

McGee entered the dark room, fully aware that he was probably interrupting something important on no more than Gibbs say-so. He came to a stop next to Jenny. "Director," he said softly, laying the roses on her lap.

Jenny's mouth almost fell open but she managed to stifle the reaction. Bringing the bouquet to her nose, she had to smile. "Thank you Tim."

He moved away. "Sorry to intrude."

"Rule #6," Jenny murmured and glanced back at the screen. "It's fine, we were just wrapping up."

When Tim returned to the bullpen, Gibbs looked up. "Op still going?"

"Almost done," he reported, not realizing he'd been playing spy as well as errand boy. He wondered vaguely if doing things for Gibbs could potentially put him in the middle and get him in trouble with one or both bosses. That was a spot he was not eager for.

"DiNozzo." Tony's head popped up and he looked expectantly at the boss. Gibbs crooked his finger and the senior field agent hurried over. To his surprise, Gibbs handed him a single red rose and aimed his gaze at the catwalk. "Before she gets to her office," he said in low voice.

Tony's grin snapped into place and he sauntered towards the back elevator. Seconds later he was leaned casually against the wall, waiting until MTAC's steel door opened. Jenny didn't look up until he got in her way. "Special delivery Ma'am," he drawled.

Jenny raised an eyebrow and took in the rose. "Does my husband know you're giving me flowers Agent DiNozzo?" she asked, a teasing glint in her eyes.

Tony stepped back. "I...uh...that's from Gibbs." Then he clattered down the stairs and back to his desk.

Shaking her head because Tony was too easy to mess with, Jenny entered her office. Four roses were laying on her desk calendar, just waiting for her to see them. Each in their own individual vial of water, Jenny didn't need a vase for them. Instead she found home for each rose around her office. The seven the boys had delivered were squished into the already full vases on her office table.

She'd only just sat down when a flash of red caught her eyes. Another rose stood in her pen holder, innocently adding colour to the black and blue writing utensils it was planted among. Director Shepard shook her head and wondered if her husband knew when to stop.

**NCIS**

At lunchtime Gibbs dropped a takeout bag on Cynthia's desk. "Make sure she eats something," he growled at Jenny's assistant. Cynthia rolled her eyes and disappeared into the Director's office. When Jenny opened her food, not only did she find a slice of lasagna from a quaint little Italian restaurant she loved, but also a rose taped to the top of the box and a wrapped vase with red streaks that was the perfect size for her smaller flowers. Apparently he'd thought of everything and Jenny gave him extra points for the vase.

The phone rang close to an hour after she'd finished lunch and Jenny looked up from yet another report, not sorry for the interruption. "Director Shepard."

"Director!" Abby squealed. "You have to come to my lab right away. Like, right now, okay?"

"Something about the case Abby?" she asked. It wasn't often she got a personal call from the lab rat.

"The case?" Abby asked, as if she had no idea what Jenny was talking about. "Oh!" A light went on. "That case. Umm...no...not about that case." Jenny could almost see the black haired girl biting her lip and thinking of an excuse. "But it's really important anyways, so come, okay?"

Jenny tried not to let her amusement be heard. "I'll be right down Abby." Maybe she needed some advice about Tim, she had to be getting impatient by now. But then again, who knew? With Abby it would be anything.

The second Jenny stepped into Abby's domain, the girl bounced up holding three red roses wrapped tightly together with a wide piece of black satin. She shoved them towards her boss's boss. "Here. There are for you. Gibbs said I had to give them to you right away. Aren't they pretty? The black piece was my idea, I thought they needed a little something. Not that they weren't fine the way they were. Oh, they smell so nice! Gosh, Gibbs is starting to get awfully domesticated if he's giving you flowers at work, though it is pretty cute. I wonder if-"

"Breathe Abby!" Jenny cut in, laughing. "They are beautiful. Thank you for playing the messenger. Though I don't know how Jethro expects me to get any work done with all these deliveries."

"Oh, hey," Abby put a white evidence box in Jenny's hands, "that reminds me. Ducky said you might be needing them. Just make sure you give them back when you're done." She shrugged. "They're all my favourite."

Jenny smiled. "I appreciate the loan Abby, I'll make sure they're returned." With that, she turned to leave.

Jimmy was standing outside the elevator, pacing nervously. He looked up, stopping abruptly when he saw her. "Director, hi...I, uh...this is for you." He thrust the rose towards her before realizing her hands were full. Oh," he frowned, "do you want me to carry that? You probably shouldn't be...I mean in your..." Jimmy blushed before he could find a word to describe her physical state.

Handing over the box, Jenny took her flower and lay a hand on his arm. "I'm pregnant Jimmy, not broken. But it's sweet of you to offer. I won't turn down the help." She smiled. "It's nice to see that chivalry isn't dead after all."

Jimmy returned the smile and they stood quietly for the ride. Upstairs, he set the box on her couch before returning to Dr. Mallard. Jenny, thrilled to have more vases, even if every last one of them was black and highly decorated, spent twenty minutes arranging her flowers. So far she was up to forty-two gorgeous red roses. Gibbs was at least getting a hug for this.

**NCIS**

Shortly before four pm, Jenny returned from a late lunch meeting with one of the folks on the hill that helped lobby for their funding. Taking a moment in the bathroom to freshen up, she almost wasn't surprised to see a short red bloom resting on the counter. _Forty-three_, her mental counter added and she held it to her nose, inhaling the delicate fragrance. It was a moment of peace in her day, a calming memory that brought refreshment.

Of course, when Agent Fornell walked into her office half an hour before her extra "emergency" session with Kristyn, Jenny felt the peace and calm drain away. She leaned back in her chair and eyed him warily. "To what do I owe this visit?"

Tobias recognized the tone in her voice as she prepared to do battle for her agents. He held up his hands and chuckled. "At ease Director, I come in peace. There's no turf war this time. In fact, Jethro and I have agreed to a joint investigation."

Jenny's eyebrows rose in disbelief. "You're cooperating? With each other?"

"Contrary to popular opinion, we can act like grown ups when it suits our purposes."

This statement drew a smile and she relaxed fractionally. "So you're here because...?"

Fornell smiled. "To offer my congratulations." The question leapt into her eyes and he grinned. "Gibbs told me. He seemed mighty pleased about the news."

Jenny's expression softened and her hand found its now familiar spot below her belly button. "We're very happy."

"Good. You two deserve it." The man nodded and stood to leave. "Well, I wouldn't want to wear out my welcome." Then he turned back, pulling something from the inside pocket of his coat. "Oh, I was told to give you this."

She smiled, holding her hand out for the flower. "Thank you Fornell. Play nice with the team."

Tobias nodded. "I'll do my best. But Jethro's not too good at following the rules."

Jenny rolled her eyes. "Only his own. Do not make me play principal."

"Of course," he nodded. "Goodbye Director."

**NCIS**

The peace Jenny craved did not return after Fornell left and nervous energy kept her from relaxing. Only fifteen minutes until therapy and it was the last place she wanted to be. Kristyn would ask questions, too many questions, as always. She would want to know details, how they got from Monday afternoon and not speaking to Thursday afternoon, acting once again like couple who loved each other deeply.

Jenny sank down on the couch and leaned on her hands. Why did this have to be complicated? Why couldn't she and Jethro just be happy? It seemed like one thing after another. They had issues before they got married, not to mention the whole Paris fiasco that had left Gibbs bitter and Jenny wounded for more than seven years. They'd had huge misunderstandings and fights after the wedding and were constantly working to keep an even balance, or so it seemed.

Then October happened and suddenly everything that should've been easy was not so easy any more. Why did this stuff keep happening to them? They'd only just crossed that bridge when the mountain of her pregnancy loomed in front of them and only now had they finally laid the abortion disagreement to rest.

Sometimes it felt like they would never just be able to be happy. His past and her issues, not to mention the side effects of everything they'd been dealing with since the fall - Jenny didn't want to be clawing and scraping the rest of her life just to hold onto what they had. It shouldn't be this hard. Absently, she rubbed her stomach gently, feeling the subtle roundness that had made a skirt her best option for clothes today.

Then she thought about their baby and realized that no matter how hard they had to struggle sometimes to make their marriage work, to beat back her demons and stay united, it would all be worth it. After all, their union had given them this, their baby, the most perfect and beautiful gift. And when she thought about the baby, everything else just faded away. He or she would be worth it all.


	40. Chapter 40

At ten to five pm Gibbs left his team doing paperwork and made his way up to Jenny's office. "Hey," he tapped on the door lightly. She was standing in the middle of the room, looking like she wasn't seeing anything that was there. "Ready?"

Looking up, Jenny wrapped her arms around herself and shook her head. "No," she whispered.

Gibbs frowned. "Okay Jen?" He moved to hold her but stopped, unsure where they were with everything that had been going on, even though they'd reconciled this morning.

Jenny noticed his hesitation and met his eyes. "I don't know why this session makes me so nervous," she confided. "Except that I'm afraid Kristyn will say two days isn't long enough to work through an issue like this, that we need more time or need to talk more." Taking three steps, Jenny laid her palms against his chest. "Tell me Jethro," she implored him, "tell me you love me." She'd know by his eyes if it was the truth.

Gibbs looked away, hating that she needed the reassurance because she should've been able to rest secure in that knowledge. Then he turned back and placed his hands on her shoulders, his gaze never wavering from focusing singularly on her green eyes. "I love you Jen. You are my heart, our life together a dream I never thought I'd get. And I'm not going anywhere."

Jenny pushed her lips against his, seeking the proof of his words. Cradling her head in his hands, Gibbs let himself taste her, savouring the feel of her mouth on his, their lips meeting and melding as seamlessly as they always had.

"Ahem." A throat clearing in the doorway broke the couple apart. Cynthia only looked at Jenny, ignoring Gibbs. "I'm sorry to interrupt Director, but you're going to be late for your appointment with Dr. Renway."

As she turned away Gibbs saw her glance pointedly at the lock on the door. It was the first time he'd forgotten to use it. "Come on Jen," he said, "let's go."

Jenny sighed and nodded, following him out. In the elevator they stood side by side and when Kristyn opened the door of her office and beckoned them in, Gibbs and Jenny shared a cushion on the couch. The doctor eyed them, noting the change.

"Let me guess," she said wryly, "you talked."

Jenny's smile was brief. "Actually," she glanced at her husband, "we fought."

"Don't suppose I get the details?" Dr. Renway asked, though it was clearly a question she wanted answers to.

Jenny made eye contact, showing Kristyn without a word that something had indeed changed, she had her confidence back. "I told Jethro he had to figure out how to love me no matter how badly things were going or what was happening in our lives."

Kristyn raised one eyebrow. "And what was your part?" As far as she was concerned, it was never just one person's fault.

Having already anticipated the query, Jenny took a deep breath. "I had to decide to believe him when he said those words again. I had to forgive him for the hurt I felt even though he didn't want to cause it. And now I'm going to learn again to trust that when he tells me he loves me no matter what, it's the truth." Meeting her husband's clear blue eyes, Jenny held out her hand and let him lace their fingers together. "I love you Jethro. I'm not going anywhere either."

Dr. Renway sat there and stared at her patient for a moment. "Jenny, sometimes you amaze me," she murmured, shaking her head. Then she got back on track. "Okay, I need to hear from both of you separately and then we'll try this joint thing again. Jenny," Kristyn pointed to the door, "could you go sit in the waiting room for a few minutes?"

Nodding, Jenny squeezed Gibbs' hand and left, trying really hard not to look back. When the door was firmly closed again, the psychiatrist fixed a stern gaze on the silver haired man who was left. "You're either really great at pretending or you've had a significant change of heart since Monday. Care to tell me which?"

Gibbs felt indignant. How dare she question his love for Jenny? But then his own words echoed in his head again. _"I don't know if I could've loved her the same."_ He sighed. After something like that, he'd wonder too. He swallowed. "I've had a lot of time to think over the past few days," Gibbs began, "we haven't shared a bed since Sunday night."

The admission surprised Kristyn but the reality did not. Gibbs and Jenny had such a strong connection that being in the same room when they were fighting would be extremely difficult. "And what did you think about?" she asked.

Gibbs narrowed his eyes at her. "Getting kinda personal, aren't you?"

Kristyn leaned back in her chair. "See that sign on my door Mr. Gibbs? I'm a psychiatrist, it's my job."

Rolling his eyes, Gibbs kept quiet for several moments before deciding if he was going to share what she wanted or not. "Let's just say that when I thought about losing everything over one single event, I decided I'd rather have Jenny for another forty years and love her with all that I've got, than quit after less than a year because I don't understand or like the choice she was almost forced to make."

When Gibbs finished, he probably could've knocked Kristyn over with a feather ."Wow. When you share, you share deep." She tapped her pen against the clipboard. "Does your wife get to see your heart like that? Because if she does, it's not wonder she rarely doubts you." After a pause, Kristyn looked him straight in the eyes. "So, where do you go from here?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you supposed to tell me?" At the doctor's look, Gibbs settled back against the cushions. "I guess I just take every opportunity I can, every day, to love Jenny. Because I cherish her trust enough to work for it if I have to."

"Enough to wait?" Dr. Renway asked. "Because the hurt she was facing at the beginning of the week isn't going to be fixed just because you did some soul searching and she believes you now. This issue damaged Jenny and it might be awhile before she's okay with you touching her in an intimate manner."

Though Gibbs wasn't planning to push Jenny for sex, he'd tried so hard not to do that since October, he was curious about what Kristyn knew. "Something you want to tell me Doctor?"

Trying to decide what she could say without breaching doctor-patient confidentiality, Kristyn crossed her legs and leaned forward. "New Year's Eve, what do you remember?"

Gibbs frowned. "Hard case. Seven dead. Lots of grieving family. Why?"

"What about after the case?"

His gut told him she was being cagey for a reason and Gibbs began putting his people reading skills to use. "We went home. Jenny and I..." he trailed off. Not a comfortable topic to share with his wife's therapist. But the look Kristyn gave him confirmed that she knew exactly what he and Jenny had done when they got home.

"Who initiated it?" she asked.

Gibbs forced himself to stare, rather than glare, at her. "I did," he bit out, shifting uncomfortably on the couch.

"Notice anything out of the ordinary?" She was clearly trying to tell him something without actually telling him.

He shook his head. "I'm usually the one...Jenny doesn't, not very often since...her kidnapping."

Kristyn tried to think of a delicate way to pose the next question. "Any chance her response was different than usual?"

Gibbs looked away. It was hard to remember specifics. He'd been exhausted, needing his wife's body before he could relax and Jenny... He sat up straighter as he thought of her behaviour since then and how she'd managed to shut down any attempt he'd made over the last week to start something. Gibbs dragged one hand down his face. "I'm an idiot," he muttered. Looking up at the shrink, he searched for a confirmation. "I thought it was something we both needed...and wanted. Jenny didn't, did she?"

Kristyn's lack of answer was all he needed. "That would be a question for your wife," she told him. Watching how he was beating himself up, Dr. Renway lowered her voice.

"You are a good man Mr. Gibbs and you have done a remarkable job handling everything that's been thrown at you in the past few months. But you are only human and you can't expect to be perfect. You'll mess up and make mistakes and the woman out there," Kristyn looked towards the door, "she loves you with her entire being. I don't think you're going to lose her because of one night like that. Jenny could've said something too. The responsibility does not all belong to you."

Regardless of her assurances, Gibbs knew it would be awhile before he'd feel okay asking his wife for intimacy after what he'd just learned. He had to figure out some way to make it up to her.

After awhile, Kristyn cleared her throat. "Anything else on your mind?" Gibbs was thinking of a question, but he wasn't ready to voice it, so he shook his head. The doctor smiled slightly. "Okay then, time to switch."

Exiting the room, Gibbs caught Jenny's eyes briefly. "Your turn."

She could see a burden weighing on him, the light from their earlier morning make up extinguished like a candle. Concern furrowed her brown and she touched his face gently. "Will you tell me later?"

He sighed, knowing secrets could not be allowed to undermine what they were trying to re-build. "My house tonight?"

Jenny realized as soon as he asked that it would take some time working on the boat before he'd be able to open up. "I'll be ready to go by seven-thirty," she promised. "I'll meet you there." She left him in the waiting room, tension curling in her stomach as she determined to get to the bottom of what was going on.

As soon as she sat down on the couch, Jenny crossed her arms and glared at her therapist. "What did you do to my husband?" she demanded.

Kristyn looked innocent on purpose. "Why do you think it was me?"

"Because you're the only one who makes him talk!" Jenny was frustrated. Pushing Gibbs didn't work well, he needed to open up when he was ready and not a moment sooner.

"Time for a redirect," Kristyn said abruptly, refusing to be interrogated by her own patient, federal agency director or not. "How much of what you said at the beginning was for his benefit and how much was what you actually believe in your heart?"

Jenny's mouth fell open. "You did not just make him doubt that I love him, that I accepted his apology...did you?"

"I let him ask his own questions," Kristyn said calmly, "and right now this is about you. Three days ago you were incredibly wounded and today you're acting like Pollyanna. What's really going on in your head Jenny?"

The redhead sighed. "I just wanted to know he could mean them," she said softly. "I didn't push, but I knew when I saw his eyes that Jethro had figured out how to mean those words. He gave me what I needed, now I'm just picking up the pieces.

Kristyn stared at Jenny. "You two are starting to make me nervous. Since when do you cooperate?" Usually getting answers was like pulling teeth, this time they were baring their hearts.

"Since I want this to work," Jenny was adamant. "And if there's nothing else, I have work to do. I want to go home with my husband."

The hostility in her tone took the doctor back to their first few weeks of therapy. She sat back. "Nothing is keeping you here Jenny, you're always free to go. I can only help as much as you'll let me."

Jenny stood up. "I think you've helped enough today," she pointed out curtly, "I'll see you in two weeks."

"Take your time Jenny," Kristyn said slowly. "I want things to work out for the two of you as well."

Leaving the room, Jenny marched to the elevator, only stopping at the doors to let Gibbs catch up. "What happened?" he asked. She usually didn't get that worked up after a session.

Jenny waited until the elevator doors closed, enveloping them in the comfort of the small box. She leaned against the wall and covered her face with her hands. Gibbs flicked the switch and waited. Finally she said in a tight voice, "You know I love you, right Jethro? You believed me when I forgave you this morning?"

Instead of reaching for her, Gibbs stayed where he was, shoving his hands in his pockets. He sighed. "I know Jen."

She looked up. "Why are you acting like you're grounded from touching me?"

He kept eye contact with the crack in the doors. "Aren't I?" Just as quickly, he started the elevator again, not giving her a chance to respond. "Tonight. Just let me think for awhile and we'll talk tonight."

Her fingers brushed his shoulder. "I'll hold you to that. I love you."

It took awhile before Gibbs lifted his eyes to look at her as Jenny stepped out on her floor. "Me too."

But his voice was sad and she didn't understand why. As the doors closed, Jenny couldn't help but wonder what he wasn't saying.


	41. Chapter 41

Jenny found it hard to concentrate on work after her therapy session. She half-heartedly read through a few files, signed off on several reports, and scrawled her name on a stack of request forms Cynthia had left for her. Then she got up from her desk and wandered around her office, looking at, touching, smelling, and counting her collection of red roses again.

She was still trying to figure out what the significance of the amount was. Forty-four didn't strike any chords in her memory. The number was close, but not exactly accurate, to the only meaning she could think of that included so many. Finally Jenny gave up and decided it was time to go home. When she slipped her hands into the pocket of her coat to get her gloves, her fingers felt a smooth stem and Jenny pulled out a very small rose. Smiling, she figured it was about time her husband got to enjoy some of his gift.

Special Agents Kyle Tierney and Brad McGregor, the relief team that gave her regular detail a break now and then, met her downstairs. Once he'd seen Jenny settled in the backseat of the SUV, Kyle placed a small bouquet of five roses on her lap, giving her a knowing look.

Jenny fingered the petals and then opened the note tied to the stems. A small number "50" was written in one corner and in the middle were the familiar words, "Always have, always will, _." The blank she assumed was for her to fill in.

Blinking back tears, Jenny thought of the last time she'd gotten this particular message, her first day back to work after October 4th, when nothing had even started healing yet. She brushed her fingertips over the blank. "Unconditionally," Jenny whispered. "I remember Jethro." She couldn't help but think Gibbs had a way with words, especially when they were unspoken.

Her security detail dropped her off at Gibbs' house without any instruction from her, so Jenny assumed they'd been informed when he left. Kyle got out again to help her down from the car and she eyed him curiously. Then she shook her head. "He told you I'm pregnant, didn't he?"

The younger man admitted to nothing, not quite meeting her eyes.

She gave him her best Director look. "I do not need to be coddled yet. It's very sweet, but save it for when I can't see my feet."

He coloured and nodded. "Yes Ma'am."

"Thank you." Though Jenny knew it wouldn't do any good. Gibbs always scared her detail more than she did and they would be back to hovering in the morning. "Good night gentlemen."

Walking in the front door, Jenny found that only a lamp was lit on the first floor. Flicking on the hall light, she climbed the stairs to their room and took her time becoming Jenny Gibbs. Brushing her hair out, she searched her drawers and came up with the most comfortable clothes she owned. After adding a couple extra things, she straightened the bathroom, put a few articles of clothing back where they belonged, and made her way down to the basement.

**NCIS**

Gibbs looked up when he heard Jenny's soft footsteps on the stairs. Her appearance surprised him. Gone was the professionally attired Director Shepard. With her hair down and slippers on her feet, in grey sweatpants and an old, long sleeved t-shirt, his wife looked more like a girl in college than an almost forty year old woman. But he liked the change.

Without a word to him except everything unspoken that was shimmering in her eyes, Jenny presented him with a single rose and grabbed one of the sanding blocks, moving to the opposite side of the boat to work. She eyed the wooden structure carefully and tilted her head slightly. "You've gotten a lot done since the last time I was here."

Gibbs grunted and set the rose down on a stool, then and started moving his arm in long, even strokes. "At least it's good for something."

Choosing not to comment, Jenny tucked some hair behind her ear and pushed her shirt sleeves up to her elbows before beginning. Seeing something shining on her left wrist, where the scars October had etched into her skin still remained, Gibbs waited until she stopped and switched hands to get a closer look. It was the heart bracelet he'd given her months ago, and he couldn't help but think she was sending him a silent message, between that and the flower.

As he always did when they worked on the boat so they could find a way back to each other, Gibbs moved ever so slowly, inches at a time, around the boat until he ended up beside his wife. Jenny turned her head to look at him, her eyes caring and inquisitive.

"Jethro," she said softly, "tell me."

But he couldn't, not when he was right in front of her and had never felt so far away. It troubled Jenny that he wasn't touching her, that he seemed to think she'd put a barrier up to tell him to keep out. So she decided to break it open, to show him it didn't really exist.

In one quick motion Jenny slid her body in between the boat and her husband. Dropping the block wrapped in sandpaper, she reached back for his hands and guided them to her hips, leaning back into his chest. Maybe it would be easier to talk if he couldn't see her eyes. Gibbs' hands trembled against her and Jenny laced their fingers together, needing to know what was bothering him so much. "It's okay," she whispered.

"No," he said harshly, "it's not okay Jen." Then Gibbs tempered his tone and dropped his head to her shoulder. "New Year's Eve?" he asked brokenly.

Jenny stilled, then moved to face him again. "Kristyn told you?" She hadn't expected that.

"It was more what she didn't say," Gibbs explained tightly, meeting her eyes at last. "Were you going to tell me?"

"No." Her voice was barely audible and for the first time let her gaze drop. "I just wasn't going to let it happen again."

His heart thudded in his chest and Gibbs lifted her chin. "Jen, I would never...if I'd known..." His composure broke. "I'm sorry honey, I should've asked, not assumed."

Swallowing, Jenny shook her head. "It's not your fault." Gibbs' head snapped up and he opened his mouth but she put her finger over his lips, wanting to finish. "You are an incredibly sensitive man Jethro Gibbs, and I've gotten very used to that quality. You've been wonderful since...what happened," she could still only rarely bring herself to use the word, "so I forget that you are only human and you can't always read my mind."

Her palms moved to caress his cheeks. "Is that what Kristyn said that upset you today? It wasn't about our conversation this morning?"

Gibbs closed his eyes. "I just can't stand the thought that I might hurt you Jenny, that I..." he visibly struggled with his next thought, "...forced you to meet my needs without giving a second thought to yours."

Jenny shook her head, tears spilling from her eyes. "It wasn't force, love. I let you use my body. I knew what you needed that night. My heart just wasn't in it."

He took her by the shoulders. "Don't ever do that again," Gibbs commanded, "no matter what you think I need." His tone brooked no argument. "Promise me Jenny."

She sighed. "I promise. And next time I will try to tell you what I'm thinking instead of keeping it hidden inside."

Gibbs took a breath but didn't meet her eyes for his next comment. "Kristyn said I might not be able to touch you for awhile because of that. She said the experience damaged you and we might have to wait for more."

Jenny's hand fell to rest on her husband's chest over his heart. "It's been a long couple of weeks Jethro," she said honestly. "I've had a lot on my mind. New Year's Eve was...hard," she admitted, "and even this week with our fight and what was said..." Jenny looked at him. "I forgave you, and I'm not going back on that, but it might take me awhile to get back to okay, to get back to normal."

Gibbs raised his hand to stroke her cheek and hesitated. Jenny pulled out one of her best glares. "But that doesn't mean you can't ever touch me or that I want you far away. I need to be close to you Jethro, please don't pull away."

His hand found her skin and Jenny closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of his calloused thumb lightly caressing her cheek. Still a little unsure of himself, Gibbs pulled her close and kissed her shoulder, neck, cheek, and finally the corner of her mouth. Jenny gave him permission for more by making the first move and pressing her lips against his.

Just like that the floodgates were opened and one kiss rapidly became two, then three. When Gibbs' hands slid down her sides and up her back, Jenny stopped counting and just immersed herself in the sensation of her husband. Finally though, she needed a break and moved away. Gibbs didn't ask, he just seemed to understand this was a line they couldn't cross right now.

"I love you," she whispered.

Gibbs took her hand and kissed the bracelet on her wrist. "You have my heart," he said simply, "I can wait for the rest."

Slipping her arms around his neck, Jenny hugged him, glad when he did the same. They stood there in the quietness of the basement, with everything laid out and nothing between them except the beating of their hearts. Stepping back, Gibbs kissed her nose.

"It's time for bed Jenny." He looked uncomfortable. "Do you want me..." Gibbs wasn't sure if he was allowed in their bed again.

Jenny smiled and nodded. "I wouldn't have you anywhere else."

They got ready for bed as they had done hundreds of times before and Gibbs discretely watched his wife undress, realizing that though he could feel the small bump that was forming when he touched her, it was barely visible when he looked. Jenny smirked, feeling his eyes on her, and climbed under the covers.

Gibbs got in his side and held his breath when Jenny scooted over, fitting herself against his body. Her head rested on his chest and she sighed happily. "I think I'll finally sleep tonight," she admitted.

He held her with one arm, running his fingers through her loose hair. "Me too. I don't sleep well without you beside me Jen."

She looked at him. "Then it's a good thing we don't have to worry about that any more. No one wants a grumpy Gibbs."

He glared at her but it was dark and Jenny pretended not to see. Then he relaxed into the mattress, feeling Jenny's breathing deepen. She was almost asleep. "Sweet dreams," Gibbs whispered. "I love you so much Jen."

She nodded sleepily against his shoulder and drifted off. Gibbs didn't fight the sleep that came, but he knew once again that he'd found one more thing he wouldn't take for granted, not after this week. He didn't want to lose her like that any more. It hurt to much to be apart.

**NCIS**

Friday Gibbs left the office early on a special mission. The gallery closed at 1700 that day for the weekend and he didn't want to wait any longer to give Jenny a gift he'd been thinking about for months. Technically he probably could wait until their anniversary, but Gibbs hated the idea of missing an opportunity now to see the look of delight on Jenny's face. He knew it would be there when she saw what he'd gotten her. And he'd already decided where to put it.

**NCIS**

After breakfast on Saturday, Gibbs left Jenny in the study with her journal and hurried upstairs with a few supplies. Finding the wrapped package untouched beneath the bed, he smiled and surveyed the walls, looking for just the right spot. Less than twenty minutes later, he appeared in the doorway and lightly tapped his knuckles on the wood.

Jenny's eyes jumped up and the twinkle there made his heart feel lighter than it had in days. "Be careful, I might get used to you knocking."

Gibbs shook his head. "Well, I wouldn't want to spoil you or anything."

She leaned her elbows on the desk and looked at him curiously because he hadn't moved. "Permission granted to enter."

Gibbs jerked his head out of the room. "Come with me? I have a surprise for you."

Jenny's eyebrows lifted. "Two surprises in two days? Should I be concerned?"

"Guess you'll have to come and see for yourself," was Gibbs' only response.

Rolling her eyes, Jenny joined him at the threshold and slipped her hand into his. Gibbs squeezed it lightly and lead her upstairs. Before he got to their room, he let go and met her gaze. "Close your eyes."

She gave him a wary look. "Why?"

Gibbs sighed. "Just close them Jen, it's a surprise."

Complying, Jenny let her eyelids slide shut and waited. Taking her arms, Gibbs walked backwards through the doorway and stood Jenny at the end of the bed, her back against his chest. "Okay," he whispered, "open your eyes."

Jenny did and gasped. "Oh Jethro, it's 'Paris in Slumber'." She turned around to face him. "You remembered."

He ran his knuckles down her cheek. "Man's got to remember the important things."

She kissed him gently, then looked at her painting again. "I can't believe you got it for me. It's just as beautiful as I remember."

Gibbs kissed the back of her head. "I should've gotten it for you a long time ago. I love to see that look in your eyes."

Jenny turned to him inquisitively. "What look?"

"Joy." He covered her mouth with his, taking his time with the kiss and drinking in the taste of his wife again. "I love you Jen."

She smiled. "I love you too. Thank you."

They stood there together for awhile, staring at the painting Jenny had loved since the moment she first saw it in a store window. Gibbs drew his fingers softly through her hair, across her shoulder and down her arm. Eventually his hand drifted to her stomach, gently feeling the minute evidence of their baby, safely nestled within the body of the woman who held his heart.


	42. Chapter 42

_A/N: Okay guys, sorry to say but this is the last of my pre-written chapters. Now we're back to whatever I can get written when I have free time and I'm honestly not sure how much I'm going to get this week. I hope you enjoy it, thanks for everything! :)_

Monday January fourteenth marked Gibbs and Jenny's ten month anniversary. Gibbs let his wife sleep a little later than normal and brought up a tray so they could share breakfast in bed. Jenny woke up to a snowdrop on her pillow and a smiling husband hovering near. He kissed her as soon as her eyes were open.

"Happy ten months Jen," Gibbs whispered.

Jenny smiled and pushed herself into a sitting position, noticing for the fourth morning in a row that there wasn't even a hint of nausea or queasiness when she moved. She was relieved to have the morning sickness part of her pregnancy over. Jenny certainly wouldn't miss it.

"Hope, purity or consolation?" she asked with a smile, holding the pretty little flower to her nose.

Gibbs tucked a piece of her hair back. "Why not all three?" He suggested. "Hope that every day we'll get a little better at loving each other, that we'll learn to talk more so we won't have to fight. Purity for the new life inside you that I still can't believe is a reality," Gibbs ran his fingers lightly over the barely there baby bump. "And solace, because that's what I always want you to find in me and my love and our life together."

Jenny's eyes watered and she cursed the hormones that were making her even more emotional than normal. She leaned forward to brush her lips over his. "Are you sure it's only been ten months?" she asked. "Sometimes it feels like the last few months have been a lifetime all by themselves."

Gibbs ran his finger down her cheek. "If I could get more than one lifetime with you babe, I would definitely take it."

His wife grinned and this time when their mouths met and melded softly together, they lingered in the kiss. "You can be quite charming when you want to be Mr. Gibbs," Jenny teased as she pulled away.

He shrugged. "I have my moments." Gesturing to the tray, Gibbs handed her utensils. "Dig in."

Jenny dipped her spoon into the bowl of oatmeal. Her eyes widened as she tasted it and stirred the mixture to check. "You put strawberries in my porridge."

"I noticed you've been wanting fresh fruit around lately." He looked very smug and Jenny had to smile. He was so cute when he was trying to get things right.

They spent an enjoyable time over the first meal of the day and even if it meant rushing to get ready for work, to Jenny it was worth being a smidge late getting to the office. On the drive over there, Gibbs took her hand. "What's on tap for today?"

Jenny sighed. "Meetings, meetings, and more meetings. I think everyone saved up things that needed to be dealt with and then decided to take care of them all in the same day." She ran her thumb over his knuckles. "My first appointment is at 0800 and I barely see my office again until after lunch. Then I'm at the clinic with Sarah this afternoon - she called me last week to book a date. After that I'm busy right through until 2000 tonight and then there's a brief," she put the words in quotation marks because it rarely happened, "MTAC meeting to discuss a recent threat. When I finally do get home tonight, I'm going right to bed."

"I hope we get a case today," Gibbs commented.

Jenny frowned. "Why?"

"Because if we're occupied following leads I won't have to think about not getting to see you for the next thirteen or so hours."

She smiled. "Well, that's one way to make me feel special." At the next stoplight Jenny leaned over and kissed her husband on the cheek. "I love you Jethro."

He sat up straighter and puffed out his chest, feeling mighty pleased about this arrangement. "Good."

**NCIS**

The morning flew by with Jenny being shuttled from one meeting to another. Before she knew it she was sitting on a chair in Exam Room #3, waiting for her doctor to show up. Sarah entered the room, frowning at the clipboard in her hands. "You're still fifteen pounds below your normal weight Jenny."

Rolling her eyes, the redhead smiled. "There's no foreplay with you, is there?"

Sarah looked up, surprised at the tease. "Someone's in a good mood this afternoon."

"Breakfast in bed will do that," Jenny remarked. "It's a good way to start the day."

Dr. Mariott smirked. "Getting spoiled already, huh? Lucky girl."

"That I am," Jenny shrugged. "But I can't argue."

"There's something new," the doctor grinned, "you not arguing." She took a breath, "Okay, time to get to the serious stuff," Sarah redirected the flow of conversation. "You want to tell me why these numbers haven't changed?"

Jenny smoothed her hand over her hair. "I only just got over the morning sickness before the weekend."

Sarah sighed. "Fair enough. Fine, no lecture this time but you're almost sixteen weeks Jenny, you really need to start eating more."

She nodded. "I know." there was silence for a minute before Jenny asked. "So...what are we doing today?"

"Nothing big," Sarah assured her patient. "We won't be doing another ultrasound until February. This appointment is just for a few blood tests and then we'll talk about some things you need to know and that'll be a wrap."

Jenny eyed her doctor warily. "Again with the needles Sarah, really? I'm starting to feel like my grandma's pincushion."

Dr. Mariott set her clipboard down and turned towards the back of the room. "Next time I'm going to make it mandatory for your husband to be here as a distraction," she muttered.

After the nasty business of drawing blood was over, Sarah sat down opposite Jenny. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," the other woman answered honestly. "I'm relieved to be done with the morning sickness. I've had quite enough quality time with my toilet in the last month to last me a long time."

"How's your energy level? Any change in behaviour that you've noticed?" the doctor queried.

"My energy is slowly coming back and I'm definitely ready to get back to my routine. Behaviour?" Jenny shrugged. "I've been pretty emotional this week. But I'm assuming that's par for the course?"

"'Fraid so," Sarah commiserated. "It will come and go." She looked Jenny over carefully. "Does 'back to your normal routine' include exercising?"

"I hope so," Jenny replied. "I can't just sit around and do nothing for five more months."

"No, of course not," Sarah agreed. "It's actually a great idea to start exercising. But pregnancy affects that too. I'm glad you want to be active, we want to keep you as healthy as possible. Just be careful when you do exercise. Some of the hormones are going to be making your joints a little looser and you're more prone to injury now. Try swimming, going for walks, lifting light weights - all that is great."

"Okay," Jenny nodded, taking mental notes. "Anything else?"

Sarah got more serious. "I've been your doctor for awhile Jenny and I know you. Being active and exercising is great, any physician would recommend it, but do not," she said the words firmly, "try to lose weight or keep from gaining any. You're sharing your body with your baby now, so regardless of how you feel as your figure changes, please keep that in mind."

Jenny accepted the admonition, knowing she probably deserved it. The thought of gaining weight, of not being thin anymore, scared her, but her baby was much more important than her vanity.

**NCIS**

Tim had been practically counting hours since last week and his conversation with Abram. The older man promised he'd have the ring before Saturday but that still left days and days to wait even more impatiently than he had been before. Not to mention that he'd practically been Tony's slave all week, ever since he saved McGee and Abby from getting caught by Gibbs. He was beginning to think taking a headslap and being grounded from the lab would've been better than waiting on Tony hand and foot and doing the older man's bidding because of a significant look that reminded Tim he was still in debt to his frenemy.

Suddenly his phone rang, making Tim jump. "Special Agent Timothy McGee," he answered officially.

"Mr. McGee?" a woman's voice said. "I am Miriam, Abram's wife. Your ring is ready now and may be picked up at any time."

McGee couldn't stop the grin that nearly split his face. "Thank you. Thank you very much. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Miriam chuckled. "No rush, we are open until six pm."

Hanging up, Tim suddenly realized he had to figure out a reason to leave the office for forty-five minutes or so, there was no way he could wait until they got off work tonight. Just as he was trying to come up with a plausible excuse, Gibbs walked by and dropped a manila envelope on McGee's desk. "Director needs a favour. Take this to the address on the front. It's out in Silver Spring."

Tim's mouth almost fell open and his heart beat a little faster wondering just how much Gibbs knew and how he knew it. Though as Abby would say, it was best not to question the man's magic. Still, he made a mental note to have his girlfriend check later to see if Gibbs had bugged his phone. Instead of asking, he accepted the unexpected blessing and left in a hurry.

Twenty-five minutes later, his errand was safely completed and McGee pulled into the parking lot at Chosen Expressions. Abram's wife was at the counter when he walked in and she called out something in Hebrew before turning and smiling. "Would you be Timothy McGee?"

Tim grinned. "I am. And you're Miriam." He held out his hand. "I recognize your voice. I didn't have the pleasure of meeting you last time."

She shook her head. "Such a gentleman."

Abram emerged from the other room carrying a small, blue velvet box. "Ah, Mr. McGee, it is good to see you again."

"And you, Abram," McGee smiled.

The jeweler opened the box. "Here is your ring at last."

Tim pulled the small circle free and held it in his hand. It was just as he'd pictured it. "Wow," McGee stared at the ring, turning it over and over. "This is fantastic! I love how the details came out." He looked up and held out his hand. "Thank you Abram, Abby will love it."

Abram nodded slightly. "I am happy it pleases you."

Putting the ring back, McGee tucked the box into his inside jacket pocket and paid his bill at the register. It was worth every penny. On his way back to work, Tim realized that today was also the day for his monthly lunch date with Sarah. As long as the team didn't get a case, the two of them always met at a café just down the street. _Perfect timing_, he thought, wanting to let at least one other person in on the secret.

**NCIS**

That afternoon, because the team was doing nothing but catching up on paperwork, an hour lunch was allowed and Tim left to meet Sarah, leaving Abby to spy on Tony and Ziva via the security cameras in the squadroom to see what they did when they were alone. McGee smiled when he saw his sister and she greeted him with a hug. They ordered their usual and talked about work and classes until Sarah finally leaned her elbows on the table.

"How are things with you and Abby?" She was glad her brother had finally gotten back with the girl he'd never let go of after their break up.

Tim sat back and grinned. "Things are great. In fact..." he paused. "I'm going to ask her to marry me."

Sarah's mouth fell open. "Really? Tim, that's awesome. Congrats."

"Thanks." He looked at her. "Want to see the ring?"

She held out her hands. "Of course I want to see it!"

McGee pulled the box from his pocket and gave it to her. Sarah opened it, examining the contents carefully before she glanced up skeptically. "It's not exactly a traditional ring big brother."

He shrugged. "Abby's not exactly a traditional girl."

Sarah thought about that for a moment, remembering her brief encounter with the Goth during the investigation into her ex-boyfriend's death. "Fair enough." Handing the closed box back, she pinned him with her best little sister look. "When are you going to do it?"

Tim tapped his finger on the table and chuckled. "You know, for as long as I've been waiting to get the ring so I could ask her and get it over with, to make what he have official, now I'm not sure when the right time would be. I want it to be really special. And I still have to talk to Gibbs' first."

She drew her eyebrows together. "Asking permission Tim?"

"It's a respect thing Sarah," he explained, "and possibly a little self-preservation too."

Sarah smiled. "You always were the old-fashioned one. I want to know what her answer is."

"Of course," Tim agreed. "You'll be the first person I call, okay?"

"Even before Mom and Dad?" she asked.

"Even before Mom and Dad," McGee promised.

He'd always been closer to his sister and his mom. Tim's dad had been all rules and business, no time for the father-son stuff he envied his friends for. But being so much older, he felt a connection and protectiveness with Sarah. And when she'd lived with him the summer before starting university, their bond only strengthened. Sure they fought and teased and snarked like all other siblings, but underneath all that they would do anything for each other, and both of them knew it. They stuck together and that was the part Tim liked the best.

Sarah's eyes sparkled. "Good," she said, glad it was settled. "Don't forget."

McGee smiled, knowing he'd be thinking of little else until the moment Abby said yes.

**NCIS**

That night before Abby went home, she noticed a single black rose sitting in a large vase on her desk. Curious, she checked, but there was no card. Technically it could've come from any of the guys, they liked to spoil her sometimes for no reason, but she'd have been willing to bet that her boyfriend left it. He was sweet like that and McGee liked to surprise her.

Breathing in the scent, Abby touched the petals gently and smiled. "Thanks Timmy," she whispered.

Soon they would be going home together. Soon when they fell asleep, it would be in their bed, cuddled together in a warmth that came from all the love in their hearts. Soon he would ask and she would say yes without any hesitation, because over the last couple of months Abby had discovered there was nothing she wanted more than to marry Timothy McGee and become his wife. It was, after all, her favourite dream.


	43. Chapter 43

Sunday came quickly and it was a cold one. Overnight the sky had opened and a fresh, thick layer of snow covered everything in sight. Gibbs drove to church slowly, because of the road conditions Jenny thought, but then again, he'd been driving more carefully for a couple of weeks now. It was something to think about, though she already had her suspicions about why.

The others had elected to wait for them in the foyer of the church, rather than outside on the steps, because of the weather. Walking in, Gibbs glanced quickly around the group as he helped Jenny out of her coat. Tony seemed to be trying and failing to convince Ziva that running in the snow was for crazy people and maybe a walk and a movie would be a better idea.

Ducky and Jimmy were there too, Ducky busy educating his young protégé on the Gothic architecture and the meanings behind the stained glass pictures. McGee stood right beside Abby, shifting to be closer to her every time she so much as moved an inch. The look on his face was almost possessive and Gibbs narrowed his eyes. If McGee didn't hurry up and ask her, he might smack him just for being an idiot.

Jenny saw Gibbs' expression and patted his arm, shaking her head at his "dad-ness". Then they all followed Abby into the sanctuary and sat down. Partway through the service, Jenny felt something running from her nose. Frustrated because she thought she'd finally kicked the cold that had dogged her all of last week, she reached into her pocket for a tissue. But when she pulled it away, the liquid on the kleenex wasn't clear, it was red.

Startled, Jenny flickered her eyes to Gibbs. It wasn't unusual for her to get nosebleeds occasionally in winter because of how dry the air was, but being pregnant made her automatically assume the worst about everything. Gibbs stared at the blood for a moment before Jenny pressed the tissue back against her nose.

Glancing sharply at Ducky, Gibbs looked at Jenny, who moved the kleenex enough for the ME to see the red blood. Instead of looking alarmed, Ducky smiled reassuringly and shook his head that no, it wasn't serious. His eyes fell to her midsection, the baby bump not yet visible through her clothes. Jenny's hand already rested comfortingly where her baby hid and she relaxed, feeling Gibbs take a moment longer to do the same thing. It was just another one of the symptoms, she guessed.

Eventually the bleeding stopped and the only other person to notice was Abby, who got a shake of the head from Gibbs before she could freak out or make a big deal about it. Jenny did not always want to be the center of attention just because she was pregnant.

By the time they got to the diner, however, the redhead discovered she had a different problem. For days she and Gibbs had been taking things slow. Kisses here and there, but no making out. Casual touches when they were close because it was just part of the way they spoke to each other, but no feeling up or wandering hands.

At night they slept apart but always with their feet tangled together, hands connected or an arm thrown over the other's body. They found out the first night Gibbs was allowed back in their bed that it was too much for him when their bodies were plastered together and he couldn't really touch her.

Jenny had been cautious about their physical relationship. Yes he loved her and she believed him and vice-versa, but the pieces of trust that had been broken were proving harder to pick up than she'd hoped. So when Jenny kissed her husband, she never let it last too long and she kept all of her touches to safe areas of his body. It wasn't that she was afraid to be with him, she just wasn't there yet.

But today Jenny felt none of the hesitation that had coloured their last two weeks. Instead all she could think about was the heat Gibbs' body was radiating as they sat close together in the booth, or how the roughened pad of his thumb sliding back and forth over her hand suddenly sent electric shocks through her system.

Squirming uncomfortably because she hadn't felt like this for more weeks than she cared to count, Jenny tried to tune into the conversation, hoping she could ignore what was happening in her body and that the heat in her cheeks wouldn't be noticeable. But as soon as she glanced up and found herself looking into her husband's ice blue eyes, Jenny knew she was a goner.

Never in their relationship, past or present, has his need for her ever not been present in his eyes. Love, lust and want was always clearly read by the way his iris's darkened and his expression suddenly shifted from neutral to one full of desire. It was when she saw herself in his eyes that she knew it was only her he wanted.

Quickly Jenny's gaze dropped to her tea and she nervously began fiddling with the handle on her cup. Why did she feel this way? Why now did the giddy, new love kind of infatuation invade her senses? She was a married woman for goodness sakes! But as a tingling feeling began to work its way downwards, Jenny knew she hadn't wanted it like this for a long, long time.

Gibbs, meanwhile, was trying to figure out how to interpret what he'd seen in his wife's eyes. It had been written in her gaze plain as day that she wanted him, the emotion couldn't've been any easier to read if it was in big capital letters. But now Gibbs tried to argue with himself, maybe it was just nearly three weeks of being denied access to her body that was making him see things. Still, there were a few easy ways to test and see if his theory was right, as he was very much hoping it was.

Casually, Gibbs slid his hand over to rest on Jenny's knee. She jumped and flicked him away under the table. He could feel her glare boring into the side of his head and Gibbs was about ninety-nine percent sure she hadn't jumped because she was scared, but more because she was so tightly wound right now.

Waiting until he felt her trying very hard to relax, Gibbs moved onto the next phase of his test. He took her hand back and did what he had done in October, when that was the only part of her he'd been allowed to touch. Gibbs ran his fingers slowly up the insides of hers and back down, drew maddeningly slow circles on her palm, and traced a teasing trail around her wrist.

When he heard Jenny's breathing hitch, he checked her reaction and felt the tension in her body before he saw it. She glanced over to see why he stopped as she held her breath, waiting for more of the slow torture his touch was becoming. Then she saw her husband's smirk and her eyes flashed. He knew! He knew that at this moment being with him was the only thing on her mind and he was taking shameless advantage of that fact. Jenny narrowed her gaze and then slowly smiled. Two could play this game.

The look on Jenny's face unsettled Gibbs because it was the dangerous expression of vengeance. She leaned into him a little more and began dragging two fingers up and down his thigh in a lazy pattern. He stilled immediately, and turned his head slowly to look at her. Jenny figured he was probably wondering where this flirtatious woman had come from.

She ignored him and pretended to be listening intently to the conversation going on around them. When Gibbs caught her hand and made her stop as he shifted minutely away, Jenny couldn't resist the triumphant grin that came to her lips. It was nice to feel like the one in control for once.

Just then Ducky got up and announced he had better go home and check on his mother and Jimmy was more than happy to leave with his mentor. Looking around at those left, Tony cleared his throat. "Well, Jenny and Gibbs look like they want to get a room so...I think that's our cue to take off. See ya Boss."

Tony dropped a couple bills on the table and was out the door before his words registered enough for Gibbs to slap him. But Ziva took over that duty when she hurried after her partner, cursing his penchant for inappropriate comments under her breath. McGee coloured and looked away and Abby grinned quietly to herself and nudged her boyfriend out of the booth.

"Have fun you two!" she waved as McGee shook his head and tugged her out of the building.

Suddenly Gibbs and Jenny were alone at the table. He looked at her and opened his mouth but Jenny shook her head. "Not one word Jethro."

Chuckling, Gibbs counted out money to cover his and Jenny's share plus tip and nodded at their waitress. "Thanks Cathy."

"See you next week!" the woman said cheerfully. She enjoyed her regular Sunday crew, they were a lot of fun to watch and listen to.

Once in the car, Jenny dropped her head into her hands. "Did we really just do that in front of the team?" she asked. "It was practically foreplay right there at the table!"

Gibbs shrugged. "DiNozzo will get what's coming to him tomorrow morning." Some things, most things, his senior field agent really should know better than to say out loud.

Jenny looked up. "That was embarrassing."

His expression sobered. "That was...fun, Jen. For a minute it was like...nothing ever happened and you were.."

"Back to my old self, I know Jethro," Jenny sighed, hearing what he missed in the slow way he said the words. "I haven't felt that way in months."

"So...should we do something about it?" he asked, trying to sound casual. She raised her eyebrow. "I love it when you flirt with me Jen."

Jenny felt the corners of her mouth twitch. "Do you now? In that case, I might have to do it again sometime."

"Today?" Gibbs inquired hopefully.

She looked at her husband, letting everything she felt show in her eyes. "Take me home Jethro."

**NCIS**

Later that afternoon Jenny was laying on her stomach with her head resting on her arms. Feeling a finger begin to move slowly up her bare back, she smiled and squirmed at the ticklish sensation. The finger continued to trace around her neck and finally reached her cheek, where Gibbs' lips replaced it.

"I thought guys were the ones who were supposed to fall asleep after sex?" he whispered.

Jenny turned her head without opening her eyes. "You don't sleep. You look, you touch, you cuddle. You don't fall asleep until I do."

Gibbs chuckled, conceding the point. He brushed her hair back. "Well?"

She cracked one eye open. "Well what?"

He huffed. "How was it?"

Jenny's laughter rang out. "You did not just ask me the first time question!"

"What if I did?"

Finally she opened both eyes. "I'd want to know why. Eight years and ten months, you've never had to ask before."

Gibbs' eyes shadowed. "I haven't touched you in twenty days Jen, and I haven't touched you like that since...before October."

She sighed, turning over to face him. Jenny raised her hand to his face and Gibbs covered it with his own, closing his eyes, wanting and needing to feel her touch. "Jethro." He didn't answer her. "Jethro, look at me."

It was a moment before he did and the myriad of emotions, the fragments of thoughts and feelings and fears laying broken in the blue depths of his gaze gave Jenny a pause. She didn't know how to fix any of them, or if her words could even help. But she was determined to try.

"Honey, it was never about you. It was not because you couldn't satisfy me that I wasn't always receptive to your advances. It was not because you weren't good enough that our physical relationship changed after the bunker. It was not because I don't find pleasure in being with you that this is the first time all month. Your confidence is one of the things I love best about you Jethro, please don't start doubting yourself now."

He was silent for the whole of her speech, but when Gibbs finally used his words again, Jenny wondered if the need in his voice surprised even him. "Can you just say it Jen?"

Jenny smiled and moved closer. "You know my body love, and you know me. No matter the outcome, I always enjoy being with you, feeling you all around me, having the essence of you take over all my senses. So," she smirked, "was it good for me?" Jenny leaned forward and kissed him. "The answer is yes Jethro, it's always good for me."

Gibbs stared at his wife, her messed up hair and cloudy green eyes. The rim of red around her perfect lips from the kisses they'd shared. She was so beautiful and he loved everything about her. He lifted Jenny's hand and kissed the back. "Me too." Relief flooded her face, he knew she'd been wondering. "I could do that every day Jen."

She rolled her eyes. "I know." About to say he shouldn't get his hopes up, Jenny assessed the way her body felt and knew something was different. "Then again...your chances may be looking up."

Jenny didn't get time to explain any further because suddenly Gibbs' lips smothered hers and she gave herself over to him, relishing the warmth and weight of her husband's body and how every kiss just made her want more. Maybe being pregnant did come with bonuses after all.

**NCIS**

For the third straight week in a row, Ziva came up on another person on the trail at the end of her run. Recognizing the way he carried himself, Ziva quickly caught up to her partner. "I thought you said earlier that running in the snow was for crazy people."

Tony barely glanced at her and tugged the hood of his sweatshirt closed tighter. "Yeah, well, no one's ever accused me of being sane."

Silence reigned until they reached the usual stopping point. Tony was breathing harder than normal and Ziva tried to hide her concern for his already damaged lungs. "Come on, let us get hot chocolate. My treat." They'd been trading weeks so far for who bought the hot beverages.

"With the little marshmallows?" Tony asked, sounding all of ten again.

Ziva rolled her eyes but smiled. "You can even have whipped cream."

"You're on!" His face lit up and Ziva wondered just when he had started to matter so much.


	44. Chapter 44

The first thing Abby noticed when she walked into her lab Monday morning was that three new black roses had been added to her vase. Staring at them curiously, she tried to figure out why there were more. Then she started counting days and smiled. _One for every day? What are you up to McGee?_

**NCIS**

Jenny was just putting on her earrings when Gibbs came upstairs with tea and set it down, moving gently to massage her shoulders. She closed her eyes and leaned into his hands. "Mmm, that's nice."

He kissed her neck. "Glad to be of service." They were quiet for a minute and then Gibbs cleared his throat. "Jen?"

"Hmm?"

He tried to choose his words carefully. "Do you think the stress of your job is going to affect the baby?"

Jenny turned to face him, her brow furrowed. "I hadn't thought about it."

Gibbs sighed. "I have. I just don't want anything bad..." He stopped and tried again, hugging her before he got the words out. "I just want this whole pregnancy to be perfect."

She ran her fingers through the hairs at the base of his neck. "I know Jethro, me too. But I can't just stop my life for five months." Gibbs started to say something but Jenny put one finger against his lips. "I'll be careful honey, I promise." He kissed her finger and she rolled her eyes, laughing. "You're hopeless."

Gibbs stroked her cheek. "I love you."

Jenny, not in heels yet, leaned up and caught his bottom lip between hers. Gibbs kissed her back and she smiled. "Hopeless or not, you're always just what I need."

**NCIS**

Lunch gave McGee the first excuse he'd had all day to see his girlfriend. Standing outside the lab, he had to wipe his hands on his pants. All of a sudden he was so nervous. What if he couldn't hide that something was different? What if she looked at him and somehow knew about the ring? Anxiously, his fingers sought the small box that had barely left his sight since Thursday. It was still safely in his pocket.

Maybe he should just not see her until he proposed. But immediately Tim rejected that idea. There was no way he could stay away from her for a whole week! They'd hardly spent more than a day or two apart since they started dating again. Abby would know for sure something was going on if he suddenly dropped out of contact.

McGee had almost started pacing as he tried to figure out what to do when Abby came out of her office, looking at him curiously. "You know," she said slowly, walking closer, "as an agent and more specifically as my most favourite boyfriend, you have free access to the lab." She stared pointedly at where he stood in the hall. "You don't have to wait for permission to come in."

Tim closed his eyes briefly, thanking heaven for Abby and her random comments, now he had something else to focus on. Going to her, McGee slid his arms around her waist and lifted one eyebrow. "Most favourite boyfriend? I do hope I'm your only boyfriend."

Abby grinned and nearly knocked him over with her hug. "Definitely the only one I want," she confirmed. Pulling back, she studied his face. "You look tired, late night?" Abby eyed him suspiciously. "I don't have competition, do I?"

Tim shook his head. "Only from my typewriter. I was working on some ideas for the next section."

Abby traced her fingers over the buttons on his shirt. "Have you named this one yet?"

He nodded. "That's always my favourite part. I called it _Poppy Graves_."

Her eyes lit up. "Ooh, I like the sound of that. Can I get an advance copy?"

McGee laughed. "Ask me when I have more than seven chapters written. This one is going to take awhile."

"Well, at least this time I'll get to watch your creative process at work," Abby smiled, then stopped as if maybe she'd said too much. Shrugging it off, she continued. "Do you still use the pipe?"

McGee rolled his eyes. "Wouldn't you like to know. We better go grab lunch before Gibbs decides our time is up."

"Sounds to me like you're avoiding the question," she said in a sing-song voice. Tim tried to stop her from getting her purse and Abby slapped his hand away. "No Tim, today it's my treat," she insisted.

Wanting to be the gentleman without getting on her bad side, McGee gave in gracefully. "Who am I to argue with a beautiful woman?"

Abby's eyes twinkled. "I like the way you think." They left the lab hand in hand.

**NCIS**

It had been two weeks since Jenny had sat in her psychiatrist's office and again she wasn't sure if she wanted to be here. But Kristyn acted as if their last session hadn't happened and handed Jenny her customary mug of peppermint tea. "Tell me about the last couple weeks," she began. "How is your relationship with Mr. Gibbs?"

Resenting the question but knowing her doctor had every right to ask, Jenny managed a small smile. "Things are good. It was a process, getting through the aftermath of our fight, but we're doing good."

"How are you feeling?"

For that inquiry, Jenny could be happy. "No more morning sickness, I'm glad of that. And no other nagging symptoms yet." She frowned. "Though I think I'm going to have to do something about my wardrobe soon."

Kristyn's expression was sympathetic. "I think if you focus on the good reasons behind why your favourite clothes soon won't fit, it might make it easier to handle." Jenny shrugged one shoulder carelessly and whether the information was absorbed or dismissed, the doctor couldn't tell. "Have you felt the baby move yet?"

Jenny shook her head, her expression wistful. "No. And it's the one thing I want so badly, to know this is real. I mean," she amended, "I know it's real, that I'm pregnant and there is a baby inside me somewhere. But to really know..." she trailed off. "I'm not very good at being patient."

The therapist rolled her eyes. If that wasn't an understatement. "What about intimacy Jenny?"

Her patient's eyes dropped. "I'm starting to want it again, I'm starting to want him. It's...nice. I've missed him that way."

Kristyn's expression was serious. "So why don't you sound happy about that? Isn't this the little bit of normalcy you've been waiting for?"

"A little," the redhead admitted. "But I'm afraid this is only because I'm pregnant." Her eyes met Kristyn's. "What if the feelings all go away again after I have this baby?"

"Oh Jenny," her doctor's expression was kind. "Don't worry about that now. Be happy, enjoy spending this time with your husband while it's just the two of you. You both have more than proven over the last few months that your relationship and your marriage is about far more than just sex. And when your baby is born, if things do change, we'll deal with whatever happens then."

Jenny smiled gratefully and Dr. Renway switched topics. "Any nightmares or flashbacks I need to know about?"

She shook her head. "Nothing since the last one I told you about after Christmas."

"Triggers?"

Jenny fingered the ends of her hair. "I still don't like the dark or being in parking lots late at night. The back of my neck is about the only place touch is still an issue and I'm working on being okay with my body, but being naked is not my favourite part." She sighed. "Sometimes it feels like the marks are still there." Jenny was quiet for several seconds. "Kristyn? Do you think I will ever forget?"

"What did Rachel tell you?" Dr. Renway asked, remembering that Jenny's best friend had given some wise advice.

"That you'll always know it happened, but someday it won't be the focus of your life anymore," Jenny recited. Then she glanced up. "But what do you think?"

"I've never been there Jenny," Kristyn said softly, "but I've counseled many women who have walked this road. I think," she considered her words carefully because Jenny tended to pay attention to the things she said but didn't always think through properly, "that someday your kidnapping will be a distant, vague memory. You won't ever try very hard to keep it in the forefront of your mind. Sometimes it will pop up without warning, but when you look at your husband and child I hope you'll be able to smile because you survived, because it didn't break you but made you just a little bit stronger."

"You're going to make it Jenny," the doctor encouraged, "and believe me, you're one of the lucky ones."

**NCIS**

Ziva was sitting at her desk near quitting time, just finishing up adding a bit of new information to one of the cold cases they were looking into while they waited for someone to commit a serious crime. The sound of paper being crumpled caught her attention and she clenched her hand. If he hit her with something, she was going to make him regret it. But instead, the little ball landed right in front of her keyboard. Curious, Ziva saved her work and smoothed out the paper.

_Movie Night is in two days, what do you want to watch?_

She smirked, scribbled something down and tossed it back. Tony opened the note and groaned. Grabbing a pen, he added a little more and lobbed it over the space between their desks, not surprised when Ziva caught it before it landed. Under the Hebrew characters she'd written, Tony drew an unimpressed smiley face.

_English Zi._

Ziva chuckled and tapped the pen against her lips, thinking. Finally a movie came to mind and she knew it would make Tony smile. Just as the crumpled ball left her hand, Gibbs walked in and snagged it in mid-air. "No passing notes during class children," he said almost too cheerfully, "you know what happens when the teacher finds out." Then he dropped the paper ball into the garbage bin by his desk and started writing.

Tony looked forlornly at the trash can, knowing even he didn't have the guts to try and retrieve the note while Gibbs was still there. Instead he pulled up the instant messenger program. When the message popped onto Ziva's screen, she could almost hear the begging tone.

_What was it? What did you pick?_

Figuring there was no point in letting him have things the easy way, Ziva just shook her head and typed a reply.

_Lost your chance. Now you have to wait._

Tony pouted when he read her message but knew getting information out of the ninja after she'd said no required her to be very drunk, so it wasn't happening now. Of course in the future...he smiled slyly. It could happen. And when it did, he was holding all information she spilled for ransom. Blackmail could be very fun.

**NCIS**

It was almost time to leave but Jenny had one more thing to do. Taking a deep breath, she walked down the hall to MTAC. "Get me SecNav please Jeff. Then you gentlemen are free to go for the night."

Jeff nodded. "Yes ma'am."

A few minutes later the Secretary of the Navy appeared on the screen. "Director Shepard, what can I do for you?"

Jenny waited until the technicians had all left. "I have some news to share Sir."

He looked a bit apprehensive. "Is this anything like the last news you confirmed for me?"

She smiled. "Something like that." Jenny let out a breath. "I'm pregnant Sir. I thought you would want to know as soon as possible."

SecNav's expression softened. "Congratulations Jenny." His look became questioning. "So am I looking for your replacement?"

Director Shepard shook her head. "No Sir. I'm fully capable of doing my job for several months yet and I intend to return when my leave is over. But Leon should probably be informed. I assume he'll be taking over for me?"

The man on the screen nodded. "He's fine to cover for twelve weeks at the most. I'm glad you're not leaving us."

"Not yet," Jenny assured him. "I'm not ready to give up my chair."

"Good enough," he agreed. "Well, congratulations again Director. We'll talk more when it gets closer to your due date."

"Thank you Sir. Good night."

Jenny disconnected the food. One more hurdle down, so far, so good.


	45. Chapter 45

On Monday night, another flower joined the four already in Abby's vase and Tuesday morning found McGee standing outside the Director's office, more nervous than he could remember being since the first time he met Gibbs. Cynthia wasn't at her desk, he would have to announce himself. It had been fifteen minutes since Gibbs had disappeared upstairs, so it was now or never. Gathering the last shreds of his courage, McGee raised his hand and knocked.

"Come in," Jenny called.

Tim swallowed and turned the handle. Gibbs and Jenny were sitting on the couch looking very much like husband and wife and less like Director and Team Leader. That fact alone helped him relax slightly. As he was trying to find the right words, Gibbs stared at him.

"Help you with something McGee?"

He nodded jerkily. "Yes Boss. I, uh..." McGee paused. This was harder than he'd thought. Finally he raised his eyes and met Gibbs' piercing gaze without flinching. "Abby's father isn't around and you're the closest thing she's got to a dad. I'd...I'd like your blessing to marry her," Tim stammered a little, waiting for his boss to pass judgement.

McGee's choice of words surprised Gibbs. "Not asking permission Tim?"

He shook his head, gaining confidence now as he thought about Abby. "No Boss, I'll marry her either way. But it would mean a lot to both of us if you were happy about this, if you gave your approval."

Gibbs sat and stared at his agent for almost a full minute before Jenny poked him in the side. He preferred to make Tim sweat a little and she wanted to be merciful. Jenny was pregnant, so this time she won. He stood and held out his hand to McGee.

"Okay. You have my blessing, but," he tightened his grip, "if you ever mess up what you've got, you answer to me. And if you can still walk when I'm done with you, then Abby gets her turn. Got it?" Gibbs growled, dead serious.

Tim winced and nodded quickly. "Got it Boss, and thanks. But I have no intention of messing this up." Then he turned and left, more than happy to leave the intimidating presence of the man who was his girlfriend's surrogate father.

When Gibbs sat down again, Jenny snuggled against him. "One down, one to go," she commented.

Gibbs glared at her. "I told you Jen, nothing is going on with Ziva and DiNozzo."

Jenny shrugged. "You never know Jethro, weddings do strange things to people, even if they aren't together at the time." She thought about it a minute and a sly smile spread across her face. "Do you want to bet on it?"

Sensing it was time to tread carefully, Gibbs considered the question. Jenny was sure Tony and Ziva would eventually end up together, but it could just be the hormones. On the other hand, he'd seen them tease and flirt and scrap and fight for three years, but never try to cross that line. He was pretty confident about his odds.

"Alright."

Her eyes sparkled. "Really? Well, this should be fun."

For some reason the delight in her tone made him nervous. Gibbs watched her carefully. "If I'm right?"

"You get me for the weekend to do with as you will." He wasn't sure exactly what it was that had changed Jenny's attitude towards sex, but he sure wasn't going to argue with it.

"Works for me." Jenny rolled her eyes. Anything that had her in bed, or her naked, or her alone in a room worked for him. "What if you win?" he wanted to know.

Jenny's lips curved upwards. "Oh, I figure I've got a couple months to think of something really good."

"Time limit?" Gibbs asked.

"End of April," Jenny decided. "If nothing happens by then, I'll concede defeat."

Gibbs leaned over and kissed her to seal the bargain. "Deal." He knew he was right, but on the slim chance that he wasn't...Gibbs began to worry slightly. Jenny was dangerous with bets.

**NCIS**

Late Wednesday afternoon, Jenny was walking back from MTAC when all of a sudden it felt like the world shifted and she wobbled on her heels, reaching out to grasp the rail so she didn't fall. Her heart was racing and she instinctively began rubbing slow circles on her abdomen, feeling that it calmed her and thinking that maybe it even helped her baby.

It was still strange to Jenny to talk to something she couldn't even feel yet, but ever so slowly a bond was beginning to form the more she connected with the little life inside her. The letters were a big part of that, as was the time she spent tracing her baby's image on the ultrasound picture. She was still in awe of the fact that the baby she saw was theirs, and someday they would get to meet and hold this little person that had brought so much joy to their lives just by existing.

Smiling ruefully, Jenny looked down at her shoes and resolved to switch to the lowest heels she owned for tomorrow. She'd read in the pregnancy book from Rachel that flats weren't a good idea either. But Jenny would rather never wear her favourite heels again than wear something that might be dangerous for both her and the baby. The three inch heels had to go.

**NCIS**

"Come on Ziva, I've been on pins and needles all day! What movie did you pick?"

Ziva smiled. "It is one from your collection Tony," she said as she walked in the door and shook off her coat. It had started snowing again. "One of the old ones."

Tony rolled his eyes. "That narrows it down to like...thirty movies. Any other hints?"

She shook her head. "It is a surprise. Get some plates for the food and I will put it on. But no peeking," Ziva warned, handing him the take out bags.

Enjoying the suspense, Tony lingered in his kitchen until he heard the DVD player slide closed. She pressed play and within seconds Tony knew what it was. "Oh, Psycho! I love this movie!"

Ziva smirked. "I know. You have quoted it a hundred times over the past three years."

"Only a hundred?" Tony raised an eyebrow. "Wow, that's low!" He chuckled at the look on her face. "Hey, I thought you said you'd never watch this movie."

Ziva shrugged. "Yes, but...sometimes things change."

Tony settled on the couch beside her. "I can't wait to see what is next." Maybe someday they'd actually talk about everything they kept dancing around, but for now he was quite content to sit here with her, watching a movie and thinking about how he didn't want to be anywhere else.

**NCIS**

By Friday night, Abby had collected nine flowers and she was almost certain that when the number got to twelve, something special would happen. It had taken all of her willpower to keep quiet and not ask Tim even once all week what was going on.

She had her hopes, but it would be better not to get too excited and be disappointed if it turned out to not be the question she'd waited almost three months to answer. With a sigh, Abby turned off the lights and left the lab. Time to go change and spend an evening bowling with the nuns. Thinking and hoping would just have to wait.

**NCIS**

At 2030 that night, Gibbs appeared in Jenny's office. She felt his presence before she actually saw him, and lifted her eyes from the last report she had to read before she could go home. Taking off her glasses, Jenny eyed him for a moment before conceding that she would have to speak first.

"Yes, Agent Gibbs?"

Gibbs plopped into a chair and leaned forward. "Director, would you go out with me tonight?"

Jenny raised one eyebrow and schooled her features into a regretful expression. "I'm sorry Agent Gibbs, but the department has strict rules about inter-office relationships."

Pursing his lips as he thought about this dilemma, Gibbs finally smiled slowly. "I have some connections that might be able to do something about that."

She tilted her head. "Know someone who can pull a few strings?"

"Something like that."

Jenny looked towards the open office door and lowered her voice conspiratorially. "Well, if you're absolutely certain we won't get caught."

Gibbs shook his head once. "No one will ever know."

Jenny left the professional attitude drop. "In that case, I would love to go out with you."

Coming around her desk, Gibbs flipped the folder closed and pulled her to her feet. "Permission to kiss the boss?"

Jenny smiled and nodded. "Always."

Twenty minutes later they pulled into the driveway of Ducky's manor. She looked at him curiously. "You were serious about pulling some strings."

Gibbs shrugged. "Ducky and his mom are at the opera tonight."

When he helped her out of the car, Jenny shivered in the cold air and pressed herself against his side. "Care to tell me what we're doing here?"

Unlocking the door with a spare key from under the mat, Gibbs led Jenny through the dark house. In Ducky's office, a small table sat in front of the French balcony doors, with two candles burning in ornate holders. "Mrs. Gibbs, your dinner awaits." Holding her chair, Gibbs kissed her cheek and settled across from her. "What do you think?"

Jenny looked around at the shadows the candlelight cast on the walls and soaked in the intimate setting. "I think you're trying to recreate a memory."

Gibbs lifted her hand and pressed his lips to her ring finger. "Is it working?"

A smile curved over her lips. "I remember Jethro, how happy you looked in Paris." The joy in her eyes dimmed. "That happiness went away when I left. I knew when I saw you again that something was missing."

His grip on her hand tightened, he hadn't meant for this to bring up any regrets. Gibbs had lots of reasons for wanting to remember everything about Paris until the day she didn't say goodbye. "But it came back, right?"

Swallowing, she nodded, unable to look away. "I saw it again on our wedding day."

"And now?" He had to know what she saw when she looked into his eyes.

Jenny reached across the small space between them and caressed his face. "October buried that light Jethro, and I think it's been hard to find again. I'm sorry."

Gibbs' gaze hardened briefly. "Rule 6 Jen." He hadn't pulled that one out for awhile. "You couldn't help what happened in October and you couldn't stop the aftermath."

Her hand dropped and Jenny seemed to curl in on herself, her eyes dropping to her lap. "I just want to be the one who still makes you happy Jethro, not the one who brings you pain."

Knowing that something had to be done, Gibbs walked to the radio and turned it on, fiddling with the dial until soft strains of music sung by violins and flutes filled the dimly lit room. Going to back to his wife, Gibbs brought her to her feet and pulled her into his arms.

Almost unconsciously, Jenny moved with him, their bodies swaying as one. He held her close, but far enough away to still see the doubt shimmering in her eyes. Jenny followed him step for step, spinning out and coming back, her motions grateful and as natural as breathing. Dancing was a way to communicate with her when words didn't work.

After the first song, Gibbs looked into Jenny's green eyes, still so unsure, even after everything. "I love you Jen," he stated firmly, without qualification. "The only way you could bring me pain is if you stopped loving me back."

Shock leapt into Jenny's face as if she'd never considered such a possibility. She shook her head vehemently. "Never. I can't-" Jenny's voice broke and she wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder. "I love you so much Jethro. I'd have to stop breathing before I could stop loving you." She pulled back to touch his cheek. "You are part of my soul."

Gibbs' lips captured hers and the feverish emotion behind the kiss crashed over them like a wave. How long they stood in the darkness and candlelight, kissing and touching, letting their lips caress whatever skin could be reached, letting their eyes speak what overflowed from their hearts, and letting their actions reassure the other of their love, neither one knew.

But in the end, supper was forgotten and Gibbs and Jenny barely made it home before their need for each other reached the point of no return. They didn't sleep until an hour that would be classified as early morning, and then there was nothing between husband and wife except the beat of their hearts.

**NCIS**

Jenny had been staring at the numbers on the scale for several minutes after her shower before Gibbs came into the room, looking more relaxed than she'd seen him in weeks. His smile dropped as soon as he saw the look on her face. "Jen?" Gibbs' concern was immediate.

She bit her lip and hugged her arms around the towel covering her. "Five pounds. That's good, right?"

He hated her insecurity, how she didn't sound even a bit convinced, and before he had a chance to hesitate and think about how to handle the moment, Gibbs found himself at Jenny's side, leading her away from the scale before he kicked it across the room, glaring as if it alone was responsible for the world's problems.

Then he tipped his wife's chin up, confidence from his gaze boring into hers. "Jen, yes, it's a good thing. It means you're five pounds healthier for you and," Gibbs' hand slipped through the towel to rest on her bare skin, "five pounds healthier for our baby."

Jenny nodded and drew her arms around his neck. "I know." She laid her head on his shoulder, wet red hair soaking through his t-shirt. "Just hold me for a little while, will you Jethro?"

Gibbs kissed her head and picked her up, carrying his wife to their bed. They lay there together, words unnecessary, for more than an hour. Sometimes their love spoke loudest in the silence.


	46. Chapter 46

On the last Monday at the end of January, an hour before anyone would be in the lab, a stealthy figure snuck in, dropped the twelfth black rose in the vase on Abby's desk, took one other important object, and slipped back out with a black duffle bag, attracting no undue attention.

When Abby arrived at work shortly after 0700 having just said goodbye to her boyfriend in the elevator, she was in a very good mood. Humming, she flitted around getting everything in order and headed to her office to start the music. As was her habit over the last week and a half, she turned to count the flowers, but before she could finish, an empty spot on top of a cabinet caught her eyes.

Frowning, Abby walked over and looked on either side, then bent down to check under a nearby table. Nothing. "Bert!" she called, trying to remember where she'd left her stuffed hippo on Friday night. "Come on buddy, where are you? Now is not a good time to be playing hide and seek."

A quick walk around both office and lab confirmed no puffy gray animal anywhere. But just to be sure, she went over every foot of space again and did a much more thorough search. By the end of twenty minutes, her fears were confirmed. Abby's morning routine was abandoned and she rushed to the elevator with only one thing on her mind.

**NCIS**

Gibbs was sitting at his desk enjoying his first cup of coffee when his favourite forensic scientist burst into the room, lab coat and pigtails flying behind her, her expression a mixture of horror and outrage. If it didn't look so serious, her demeanor would've been fascinating to observe.

"Gibbs!" she screeched. "Bert has been stolen!"

Knowing better than to play it off as no big deal, Gibbs stood and put his hands on her shoulders. "Calm down Abs," he began, but she brushed him off, too agitated to hold still, and began to pace up and down the length of the squadroom.

"How could someone steal him?" she exclaimed. "Bert belongs in the lab! He's not just a toy he's...Bert and he's special. I can't get any work done without him."

Sensing it was going to be a very long day if that was the case, Gibbs observed her silently, trying to figure out the best way to handle the situation. Before he decided, Tony and Ziva walked in. Tony frowned at the sight of Abby so out of sorts and held out his arms.

"Abs?"

"Tony!" Abby practically jumped into his arms, nearly choking him with a desperate hug. "Someone stole Bert!"

Shock claimed Tony's expression and he stared at her until Abby pressed her hands to her hips. "What?" he asked, knowing that look often meant trouble.

Her eyes widened. "Don't 'what' me DiNozzo! What are you going to do about it?"

"Me?" Tony swallowed and glanced at Gibbs, but his boss seemed to be enjoying the spot she'd put him in. "I'm...going to launch a full scale investigation, that's what I'm going to do." Tony gestured to his partner. "And Ziva's going to help me."

Before she could come up with a reason not to, Abby turned to her with a hopeful expression. "Uh, yes...of course I will help, Abby," the Israeli managed. When Abby turned her back, Ziva glared at Tony, who shrugged innocently. One did not argue with Abby, especially when she looked like that.

"I'm going to go tell the Director," Abby announced, "the whole agency needs to be on alert. We've had a serious breach in security." She started to leave, then spun back around to look at the group. "Has anyone seen Timmy?"

Everyone shook their heads and she huffed, clattering up the stairs as people got out of her way. Clearly she was on a mission. When Abby disappeared into Jenny's office, Tony turned to Gibbs. "Are we really investigating this?"

Gibbs took a sip of coffee and smirked. "You tell me DiNozzo. You're the one who offered." He looked pointed at the senior field agent. "Until we get a case."

Tony sighed and dragged a hand down his face. "Come on Ziva, let's go check the lab."

Gibbs watched them go, wondering where this particular mystery was going to end. If someone had actually been foolish enough to take Bert from the lab - and he was hoping to goodness it wasn't Palmer, Ducky's assistant was not likely to survive the wrath of Abby at full force - the conclusion of the search would not be pretty. Glancing at the empty desk across from his curiously, the team leader wondered the same thing as Abby - where was McGee?

**NCIS**

Two hours later Abby was alternating between being in the lab, sitting in the squadroom morosely, and running upstairs to check with the Director to see if there were any updates. McGee always seemed to be wherever Abby wasn't, which was unusual since they were rather inseparable of late.

At one point he wandered down to the lab to see if he could help Tony and Ziva, but they had the scene of the crime pretty well covered. Then he was up in the bullpen designing an inter-office BOLO with Bert's picture and a very Abby-like description on it. But every time Abby would ask where he was, the party being questioned would look around in surprise and shrug.

"He was right here a minute ago. You must've just missed him."

Somewhere in the passage of time, Tony and Ziva both got texts and notes appeared on both Gibbs' and the Director's desks. Tony opened the message and frowned. "What kind of joke is this? 'Bert is safe. SATM.'"

Ziva peered over his shoulder, comparing her text to Tony's. They were identical. "They are the same, unknown sender," she said out loud. Studying the letters at the bottom, she smiled. "I think I know who it is from."

"Who?"

Ziva pointed. "It is not a hard code. SATM - Special Agent Timothy McGee."

"Wheeew," Tony whistled. "I hope McLoverboy knows what he's getting himself into. If he's responsible for Bert's disappearance, he might not live to see dawn."

Remembering Tim's behaviour over the past week, Ziva nodded slowly. "I think he probably has a good reason Tony." But no matter how hard he begged, she wouldn't tell him any more.

**NCIS**

It was after eleven when McGee finally showed up in the bullpen again. At the end of his wits and patience, Gibbs had just sent Abby back down to the lab with orders to stay there until she heard from him. "We're going to find him Abs, but you need to let us do our jobs. Hovering is not going to make it go any faster."

Reluctantly Abby had agreed and left, and seconds later McGee strolled in. Tired of watching Abby brood, Tony slapped him on the back fo the head. McGee turned around, rubbing the spot. "Ow. What was that for?" Tony flipped open his phone and showed Tim the message. He looked away. "Oh. That."

"Yeah, that," Tony replied sarcastically. "You better have an awfully good reason for hippo-napping your girlfriend's favourite non-person McDead, because at this point Abby isn't going to kiss you for being cute, she's going to kill you for stealing Bert."

McGee swallowed, having considered that as a possibility when he set this plan in motion. "Right."

Just then Gibbs got in Tim's face and pointed to the back elevator, glowering. He'd had enough of the games. "Fix. This. Now."

Tim nodded jerkily, grabbed the black duffel back from under his desk, and left slowly. He'd hoped for a little more time to get his thoughts in order, but he honesty hadn't expected Abby to freak out that much and he certainly didn't want to be on her bad side, not now. It looked like it was now or never. Swallowing hard, McGee pushed the down button and waited for the doors to open.

**NCIS**

When Tim walked into the lab with a duffle bag and a sheepish look on his face, Abby eyed him warily. He'd hardly been around all morning and she needed him. She wasn't expecting him to kneel down and unzip the bag, revealing a still in one piece Bert the Hippo. But what shocked her the most were the first words out of his mouth.

"Abby," he said, incredibly nervous all of a sudden, "I think I've loved you from the very first date we ever had. I've loved you for years and I promise to love you for the rest of our lives. Will you marry me?"

Abby's mouth fell open and for one of the first times she could remember, she was speechless. Then she made an angry face and smacked her boyfriend on the shoulder. "You stole him!" she accused angrily.

"I didn't steal him!" Tim tried to reason with her. "I just...borrowed him. Come on Abby," he pleaded, "I had to have some support."

She glared at him. "That scared to ask me Tim?"

"I wanted this moment to be special. I thought using Bert would make it that way." He was still down on one knee, holding the hippo. "You haven't answered my question." Tim looked up at her hopefully.

"Well thank goodness! I was starting to think I might have to ask you," Abby teased, full of joy because the moment she'd waited so long for had finally arrived.

Tim rolled his eyes. "I was just waiting for your ring Abbs, otherwise I would've asked you any day after walking Jethro in the park," he explained. "Your rules, remember?"

Abby sighed. "For once I wish you weren't so good at following them."

McGee looked at her uncertainly. "So...do I get an answer?"

Suddenly Abby smiled and fell to her knees to kiss him. "My answer is yes, Timmy." Then she kissed Bert on the nose. "Thanks Bert. Nice to have you back." She looked back at Tim and grinned. "Did you get me a ring?" She hadn't noticed the intricate silver band attached to her hippo's collar.

McGee detached the ring and held it out to put on her waiting finger. "I hope you like it," he said shyly, like a small boy waiting for approval.

Abby's mouth fell open as she took in the Gothic style ring, with symbols and scrollwork carved all over the band. Just like he'd imagined, the center stone was a pure black diamond, flanked on either side by a deep, blood red ruby. "Oh Timmy," she gasped, "it's perfect!" She threw her arms around his neck. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

McGee chuckled and stood up, pulling her with him. "Thank you for saying yes Abbs."

She put her hand on his cheek. "Silly Timmy. There was no other answer. I've been waiting for this moment since the night we ate ice cream." Tim knew exactly what night she was talking about. It kept getting harder and harder to leave her after that. Abby's eyes fell on the calendar. "When?" she demanded.

Tim pulled out his pocket calendar, flipped the page and handed it to her, pointing to the circled date. "What do you think about that?"

Abby looked at the day and screwed up her face, confused. "February 28? How come?"

Tim shrugged. "Just for something different. I was thinking it would be fun to get married on a Leap Year, but then we wouldn't always have a calendar day for our anniversary, and I certainly didn't want to wait another year to marry you. So the last day of February seemed as close as we could get. Plus, I didn't want to get all cheesy on you and suggest Valentines Day."

Abby nodded slowly, then pointed something out. "It's on a Thursday Tim."

"I know."

"That's the end of the week."

He smiled. "I know that too."

"So how...?"

"Abbs, everyone important will be able to get the day off, or night, whichever you choose. I'm sure Father Nate works on Thursdays too." He took her hands, pulling her closer. "What do you say?"

Abby leaned into him and rubbed her nose gently on his. "I say we're getting married in a month." She pressed her lips onto his quickly, and then jumped up and down and spun around. "We're getting married Tim! Oooh!" her eyes widened. "I gotta tell Gibbs. Want to come?"

McGee smiled at her enthusiasm, having a hard time keeping his own excitement tamped down. "Nah, you go ahead Abby. We can tell the rest together. I'll just stay here and hang out with Bert until you get back."

She flew to him for one more kiss and shook her finger at him. "Bert stays in the lab from now on Timothy."

"Of course Abigail," he teased.

She frowned at the name. Only Ducky got to call her that and only because she couldn't convince him otherwise. Then she grinned at Tim because she'd love him no matter what he called her, and headed for the stairs, too excited to wait for the elevator.

Tim pulled his phone out to call Sarah. She'd made him promise and he couldn't wait to tell her that Abby said yes!

**NCIS**

Abby came running up the hallway from the back elevator and peeked around the partition at the end of the squadroom. She focused on Gibbs, who was sitting at his desk. "Psst!"

Gibbs looked up, trying to place the sound.

"Gibbs, Gibbs!" Abby gestured wildly at him. "Over here!"

Wondering why she didn't just come bouncing in and sit on his desk as usual, Gibbs got up and went to her. Tony and Ziva exchanged glances and looked at the pair strangely, wondering what the secret was. Usually she liked to tell everybody within hearing range if something exciting had happened. Suddenly Ziva smiled because after what happened earlier, she had a pretty good idea of what the secret was.

Abby grabbed Gibbs' arm and dragged him into the alcove by the stairs. Then she held out her hand to him, grinning. "Look what I got!"

Gibbs took her hand, a smile spreading over his face as he took in her ring. _Not bad_, he thought. _Very unique, and very her. Good job Tim_. The ring suited her. He looked up at Abby, who couldn't even stand still she was so excited. "It's beautiful. Congratulations Abs," he said, kissing her cheek and pulling her into a tight hug.

Abby's eyes were shining as she stepped back. "So I was wondering," she looked more nervous now, "will you walk me down the aisle Papa Bear? And give me away?"

Gibbs couldn't speak for a moment. His throat got tight and he had to blink back the sudden moisture in his eyes. He swallowed hard. "I'd be honoured Abby." She breathed a smile of relief and let out the breath she was holding. "But I'm not giving you away. I'll just let Tim take care of you now." He put his arm around her shoulder and walked her back to the elevator. "You'll always be my girl Abs."

Abby kissed his cheek. "Thanks Gibbs." She hugged him one more time, then stepped in the elevator to go back down to her fiance. They were getting married! How much better could it get?

**NCIS**

As soon as the elevator doors closed again, Gibbs returned to the alcove and dialed his wife's direct number.

"Hello Jethro," she answered, a smile in her voice.

"Want to go to a wedding with me sometime soon?" he asked.

"McGee asked her then?" Jenny chuckled. "Gee, do you think he's excited or something?" She grinned. "He waited all of what, a week?"

Gibbs grunted. "Gotta move fast with Abby."

"She would've waited for him," Jenny countered.

"She's impatient."

"You're impatient. Sometimes I really do think you're related." Jenny shook her head.

"He's a lucky man."

"And she's a lucky woman."

"I hope he knows what he's getting," Gibbs grumbled.

"Oh come on Jethro, lay off. Those two were meant for each other and you know it. Gosh, one would think you didn't have a romantic bone in your body!"

"Oh?" Gibbs managed to infuse the single word with a lot of indignation. He could hear her smile and her voice was softer now.

"But I've experienced it first-hand, so I know it exists. Go easy on him Jethro, you already made him sweat when he asked for your blessing."

"Can't promise anything."

"Abby will not take kindly to you intimidating her fiancé," his wife reminded him.

"Fine," he muttered. Then he sighed. "Gotta go Jen. Act surprised when you see her, okay?"

"I am a very good actress," she said, in case he was implying something.

"Ha!" Gibbs laughed, then realized it might not be to his advantage to tease her right now. Though Jenny was fairly even tempered usually, the hormones sometimes made her moods unpredictable. "I mean-"

Jenny cut him off and said dryly, "Keep digging Jethro."

He cleared his throat. "Love you Jen. Bye."

She hung up the phone and laughed. Jenny loved these silly, teasing conversations that they got to share. And she was very excited for Tim and Abby. They belonged together. She grinned as she went back to work. In a couple of months or less, they'd have a wedding to attend and then Jenny would get to see firsthand how close she was to winning the bet.


	47. Chapter 47

_A/N: My profuse apologies for the unannounced hiatus. Although in my defense, I didn't know it was coming. RL, lack of time, and an apathetic/indecisive muse have all conspired to keep me from the writing and posting schedule I'd hoped to keep. Thank you all for your patience, I hope you enjoy this next chapter. _

_PS. Yes, I know it's a completely McAbby chapter, no I couldn't avoid it and yes, more Jibbs, and a new bump in the road are all coming up next. As payment for your (hopefully :P) generous reviews, I'll be posting another, more team oriented chapter, in about 5 minutes :) Thanks!_

"Tell me again," Abby said, staring at her ring. "We're really getting married?"

"Yes," Tim grinned, almost as in awe of the reality as his girlfriend...no, fiancee. Finally she was more. "We're really getting married. In...31 days."

A grin broke over Abby's face. "Tim, we have so much to do! We need to talk to Father Nate, I need a dress, we have to pick out wedding party and tell the team. Oh!" Her eyes widened. "Did you call Sarah?"

He nodded. "I had to hold the phone away from my ear because she was so excited."

Abby smiled. "I'm going to have another sister, how crazy is that?" She touched his shoulder gently. "What about your parents?" For as much as they shared and everything they'd talked about, Abby had rarely heard McGee mention his parents.

Tim sighed. "I'll talk to them tonight." He didn't say anything else and Abby let it go. Tim would tell her if he needed to. He shook his head and looked back at her. "Did you want to try to get ahold of Aiden?"

It had taken a long time and a lot of hard work, but Abby's younger brother had finally forgiven her for the superglue incident and they finally shared a congenial relationship. She checked her watch and shook her head. "It's just after 9am in LA, he'll be a work. Eden is in school and Celeste," her sister-in-law had a thriving interior design business, "is probably with a client. I want to tell them all together. I'll call when we get off work."

McGee took Abby's hand, rubbing his thumb over her ring. "I've waited so long to see that on your finger."

The deep look in Abby's eyes matched what she saw in her fiance's. "I've waited a long time to wear it Tim," she said softly, admiring the details once again. "It's kind of different, where'd you find it?"

Tim chuckled. "Ziva came with me once to look for rings but I couldn't find anything like what I wanted for you. So she gave me the name of a man she knew from when she was in Mossad, a jeweller out in Silver Spring. He can custom make anything and as you see, he does great work. His name is Abram. I took him a drawing of what I wanted and this," McGee tapped the band on her finger, "is the end result."

"Wow," Abby smiled, "I can't believe you went to all that trouble."

He shook his head. "No trouble Abby, I wanted something special for you.. You'll love Abram and his shop," Tim continued. "I'll have to take you out there some time. The man is a genius. He runs the store with his wife and daughters. I haven't met them yet."

"I'd love to go," Abby agreed, eager to thank the man responsible for her beautiful ring.

"So," Tim spoke slowly, "do you want to tell the team now?"

Abby shook her head. "Not until we decide on attendants." She shrugged. "You know they'll want to details."

Tim raised one eyebrow. "Fair enough." He started with the easiest. "Gibbs?"

Abby smiled. "He's going to walk me down the aisle."

He kissed her fingers. "Father of the bride, check."

She squeezed his hand. "Ducky and Palmer?" When he looked at her curiously, Abby shrugged. "They're kind of a package deal."

"Groomsmen?" McGee offered. "They can seat immediate family and take care of anything we didn't think about."

"Okay," Abby agreed. Her smile grew bigger. "Tony?"

McGee groaned and rolled his eyes. "I know I'm going to regret this, but he's the only one I'd think of giving the best man spot to."

She leaned over and pressed her lips to his cheek. "You and Tony get along much better than you ever let on."

"Ha!" Tim laughed. "Spend a day in the squadroom with us and see if you still think that."

"I would if Gibbs would let me," Abby put in.

"I know." Tim stroked the skin on her wrist. "But I'd be way too distracted." He returned to the previous subject. "The Director?"

Abby shot him a pointed glance. "Jenny. I want her for a bridesmaid, Sarah too," she added before he could ask.

"Thank you," Tim smiled. Then he shook his head slightly. "Three years ago you couldn't stand each other and you're giving Ziva the maid of honour spot? I'm impressed."

"It's not like we haven't been friends for ages now Tim."

"Is that it then? That's our wedding party?"

"I'd like to ask Eden to be the flower girl. She's six, I'm sure she'd be thrilled. If that's alright with you," she added, realizing it wasn't just a one person decision.

"I'm sure she'll be great," he agreed. "We can call Father Nate now, if you want, ask about booking the church and his time," Tim suggested, moving on to other things.

"Let's drop by the church after work instead," Abby said. "I want to tell him face to face and he'll be there for choir practice tonight."

"Fine by me," McGee smiled. It was their day, but whatever Abby wanted worked for him. He just wanted to marry her. Tim tugged her closer. "C'mere," he whispered, claiming her lips again. "I love you Abbs."

Abby's hands came up to caress his face. "Always Timmy," she murmured as her mouth found his. "Always."

**NCIS**

"Ms. Scuito is here to see you Director," Cynthia said over the intercom.

Jenny tried to suppress her smile. "Send her in." The Goth stepped into Jenny's office, grinning from ear to ear. "Yes Abby?"

The girl bounced in place for a minute before rushing over to the desk and holding out her hand. "He asked me Jenny! With Bert and the sweetest little speech, down on one knee and everything!"

A genuine smile appeared on Jenny's face and she rose to offer a hug. "Congratulations Abby," she whispered as the forensic scientist squeezed her tightly and then let go to dance a jig around the room.

"I can't believe we're finally getting married!"

Jenny laughed, glad to see Abby so happy. "Have you set a date?"

Abby's eyes lit up. "February 28! Thirty-one days away!"

The redhead wasn't surprised. After waiting three months to get engaged when it had been clear after two weeks that they were beyond serious about their relationship this time, she didn't think they'd want to wait much longer for the actual ceremony. "Did you tell the others?"

She shook her head. "Tim's waiting for me right now so we can make the announcement, but I wanted to tell you and Gibbs first because, well, you're special."

Jenny was touched. "Thank you Abby. Now scoot," she ordered. "I'm sure your new fiancé won't want you too far away today."

Abby's excitement was contagious. "Okay, bye!" Then she was gone, leaving Jenny to wonder just how much the team would change in the coming months.

**NCIS**

Abby slipped silently into the bullpen a few minutes later and threaded her fingers through Tim's. He smiled up at her and moved to stand behind her, his arm around her waist. At her questioning look, he nodded. He'd been elected to tell Ducky and Palmer as they were in an autopsy and couldn't get away. Now all that remained were the last two members of the team. They walked in front of Tim's desk and Gibbs raised an eyebrow, then cleared his throat.

"Heads up."

Tony and Ziva immediately snapped to attention and curiosity filled the senior field agent's face when he saw McGee and Abby. "Something going on Abs? Did you find Bert?" That would be a relief, because he didn't want to have to tell her that her boyfriend stole her favourite stuffed animal.

"Yes," Abby said, glancing at McGee and he gave her the 'go ahead' look. Then she smiled. "We're getting married!"

Abby couldn't contain her joy any more and bounced over to show Tony her ring. His mouth dropped open. "Wow, that's uh...unique." He glanced at Ziva who rolled her eyes and came around her desk to see, then extended a hug to her friend.

"Mazel tov Abby. When is the wedding?"

"February 28," Abby rattled off, returning to McGee's side and clutching his arm.

Tony stopped in the middle of shaking Tim's hand and frowned. "That's kinda fast." He raised an eyebrow. "Something we need to know?"

Abby punched him in the shoulder and stuck her tongue out while Ziva offered her congratulations to McGee. "No Tony, I'm not pregnant." She paused, looking down. "We waited this time."

"Ooh," Tony grinned, his tone teasing as he glanced at Tim. "So Probie, you and our mistress of the dark didn't close the deal, huh?"

Before Tim could even open his mouth to reply, if he'd known what to say, Abby glared at Tony. "Do I need to remind you that I am one of the few people on the planet who can..."

Tony stepped close and hugged her. "I know Abs, I'm sorry. I'm happy for you, really." Then he whispered in her ear. "But are you sure you want to be stuck with McGeek for the rest of your life?"

Unable to take his comment as sarcasm because she was so happy, Abby looked straight into the eyes of the guy who doubled as her big brother. "Longer than that Tony," she replied softly. "No one's ever loved me like Timmy does."

He nodded, casting a quick look at Ziva, who was talking to Gibbs and McGee. "Fair enough. But if he ever hurts my little sister, I'm gonna sic the ninja on him."

"Thanks Tony," Abby smiled, wrapping her arms around him. "I love you."

Tony hugged her tightly, so grateful to be apart of this family. "Love you too Abs." Then they turned to join the rest of the group and it was safe to say no one got much work done for the rest of the afternoon.

**NCIS**

Tuesday morning Abby was into the office early. She wanted to make sure no one would be around to walk in on what she was doing. Abby hadn't told Tim, not wanting to pressure her boyfriend, but she'd been secretly looking at wedding dresses for the last month.

She wanted something very different than the traditional dresses every other bride wore. Abby had something in mind that was very her and when she found it last week, she'd shrieked out loud before remembering she didn't want anyone else to know.

A few quick clicks of her mouse transferred the money into her account from the special fund her father had left her to use just for this occasion. Less than ten minutes later, she hit 'checkout' and stood staring at the dress she'd just ordered. It was perfect. Abby couldn't wait for Tim to see it.

**NCIS**

After work that day, they'd gotten off early again because there was nothing new to work on, McGee and Abby made the drive to Silver Spring so Abby could personally thank the man who'd made her engagement ring. McGee pulled into the parking lot of Chosen Expressions and took his fiancee's hand. They entered the store together and Abby's expression filled with wonder. She slipped her hand out of his and started wandering around.

"Wow, this place is amazing!" she breathed, enthralled with the unique selection laid out around the room.

Having heard the bell, a younger, dark haired woman came out to the counter. "Hello, maybe I help you?"

McGee turned and smiled. "You must be one of Abram's daughters. I'm Tim McGee. Is your dad around?"

The woman smiled. "I am Ruth. I remember your name from one of the special orders. My father is in the back, one moment and I will get him."

Abby and McGee waited but Abby's eyes were constantly straying to the display cases. She couldn't wait to see everything. An older gentleman emerged from the curtains and walked around the counter. "Mr. McGee? I did not expect you back so soon. Was something wrong with the ring?"

Tim grinned and held up Abby's hand. "Nothing's wrong Abram. I just wanted to show you who you made it for." He held her close for a moment. "This is my fiancee, Abby Scuito."

To Abram's surprise, Abby wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you for doing such a beautiful job," she whispered. "I love it."

Looking at McGee, Abram only received a shrug as the younger man grinned. "She's a hugger."

He patted Abby's back lightly and she released him. "You are most welcome my dear. It is always good to meet the ones who benefit from my work. Please, feel free to look around the shop."

Abby jumped at the offer and Abram took advantage of her distraction to study her appearance carefully. Finally he smiled and nodded, shooting Tim a knowing look. Now he understood why the ring had to be so...untraditional. She may have been the kind of girl he did not expect for the reserved agent, but the look she gave her fiancé was so full of love that Abram had no doubt they belonged together. Some would say they each had just half a heart and only together were they whole.

For more than half an hour McGee trailed Abby around the shop patiently as she looked at every item on display and enjoyed her delight. It was hard not to admire Abram's workmanship. Tim watched her carefully and filed away many of the things she pointed out for future use. So far he'd seen a necklace, earrings and a few charms that would make excellent gifts for anniversaries or other events. If he didn't already know their honeymoon was going to be Abby's wedding present, he'd be coming back within the month. As it was, Tim couldn't wait to see the look on her face when she found out where they were going.

When it started getting dark outside, McGee checked his watch and realized Abram was probably keeping the store open late just for them. So after a heartfelt 'thank you', and dragging a reluctant Abby away from more looking, they finally left the little shop. Right now all McGee wanted was to go home and sleep because a new morning would take them one day closer to being married. He could hardly wait.


	48. Chapter 48

_A/N: I have been waiting FOREVER to post this chapter so I really hope y'all like it :) Thanks so much for everything! :) ~Aliyah_

Jenny came home late on Tuesday night after a long day at work. She'd barely seen her husband all day and there was only one thing on her mind right now. Gibbs heard the door close and leaned back from the sink where he was washing dishes dirtied from making supper.

"Hey Jen," he called, acknowledging her.

Jenny didn't say anything, just hung up her coat and made a beeline for her husband. Gibbs barely had time to dry the suds off his hands before Jenny was in his arms, her lips on his. Gibbs pulled back, grinning, eliciting a frustrated growl from his wife.

"Feeling like you want something Jen?" he asked, running a finger down her neck.

Jenny closed her eyes and then opened them again to glare at him. "You know exactly what I want Jethro. Do not play with me."

She kissed him again, harder, her hands moving from his neck to his chest, trailing a path lower. It occurred to Gibbs that teasing his pregnant wife while hormones raged through her body was probably not the best idea he'd ever had. Feeling the urgency in her touch, her kiss, Gibbs pulled her closer and let his hands travel down her sides, tugging her shirt out of her skirt and sliding his hand under the material to rest on her warm skin.

Jenny moaned against his mouth and the sound turned Gibbs on completely, if he wasn't already there. He loved seeing Jenny pregnant, even if she was still barely showing at four and a half months. And her increased libido was definitely working in his favour.

"Upstairs?" he whispered, breathing harder.

Jenny shook her head. Their bed was entirely too far away right now. "The library is closer," she whispered, her eyes dark with desire.

Gibbs could feel himself respond to that look and he kissed her one more time before taking her hand and pulling her into the dark room full of books. He felt like they were teenagers again, hiding from anyone who might catch them together.

When they stopped by the couch, he pulled her back to face him, kissing her tenderly while his fingers made quick work of the buttons on her shirt. Jenny's hands were not idle, busy taking care of his belt and the button on his pants. Her skirt was the next thing to go, falling to the floor when he pulled the zipper down.

Gibbs ran his hand gently over the barely there baby bump, smiling against his wife's lips. But she was getting impatient, tugging at his shirt, so he took it off, leaving them both standing there in their underwear. Pulling him to her, Jenny kissed her husband again, running her tongue along his bottom lip. Gibbs opened his mouth to her and Jenny slid her tongue in, tasting him, frowning slightly at the hint of the coffee she still had to spend almost five more months without.

She fell gently backwards onto the couch, taking her husband with her, arching against him as his fingers skated up her sides, taking liberties with the clasp on her bra so he could feel every bit of her skin. Too desperate to appreciate how Gibbs' lips and hands knew every place on her body to touch and kiss, how to make her ready for what was coming, Jenny ran her fingers teasingly over her husband's stomach, feeling his muscles tighten.

"Jen," Gibbs growled at her, "you're playing dirty."

"Stop teasing then Jethro," she demanded, her hot kisses setting his body on fire.

How and when the last remaining vestiges of their clothing ended up on the floor beside the couch, Gibbs and Jenny weren't entirely sure. But then again, nor did they particularly care. They were too wrapped up in the feel of each other's bodies, the quick, passionate kisses, the rapid breaths and occasional moans as they urged each other on.

Jenny greedily drank in each moment. She'd waited for this all day and as great as her anticipation had been, she was not disappointed. But she was rarely disappointed when it came to making love with her husband. They were that good together.

A little while later when they lay together on the couch, a blanket pulled carelessly over their sweaty bodies, basking in the closeness that never disappeared after they were finished, Jenny sighed contentedly. Thanks to the hormones, she knew this probably would not be the last time she needed her husband's body tonight, but she was also grateful to know that he loved and wanted her just as much.

Gibbs pressed a kiss to Jenny's neck, loving this time with her, their bodies so close together, just another example of times that needed no words between them. Jenny turned slightly, looking over her shoulder at him with a smile and Gibbs leaned close to kiss her, not really able to help himself.

"Satisfied?" he asked, his warm breath tickling her ear.

"Hardly," she replied, her expression a little less than innocent as she reached her hand back and brushed her fingers lightly over whatever skin she could reach.

"You just want me for my body," he complained, tracing her spine from the nape of her neck to the sensitive area on her lower back.

Jenny turned in his arms fully this time, facing him, her fingers combing through his hair. "And if I did, would that be an issue?" she teased, evading his attempts to kiss her again.

Gibbs shifted his weight, rolling Jenny underneath him, feeling the tension in her body that mean she wanted more of what they'd just done.

"Why do you get to be on top?" she asked, eyeing him lazily.

"Want to fight me for it?" Gibbs offered, seeing an image in his mind that made him smile. Jenny simply smiled, running her fingernails through his chest hair. Gibbs lifted one eyebrow. "Who's begging who for sex several times a day?" he said right in her ear.

Her response was to arch against him, grinning when she got the desired reaction. "Is that a problem for you?" she returned, her lips on his earlobe. "I haven't heard you complaining lately."

Gibbs pushed his hips into hers, causing Jenny to bite her lip at the feel of him pressed against her. "I've never had a problem keeping up with you Jen. You're the one who can't pace herself." The knee he got in the thigh was probably deserved. Capturing her lips again, Gibbs breathed the words onto her skin. "You wanting me is never going to be a problem."

Jenny kissed him back, the desire in her body growing. "Jethro," she said between kisses, "you talk too much."

Gibbs hid his grin. Jen was the only woman who'd ever complained about that. All the other ones had wanted him to talk more. It was just another reason he loved Jenny so much, she understood him. With his hands roaming over every surface of her body that he could reach, Gibbs again gave Jenny what she wanted, loving the feel of her all around him, of knowing he could bring her the kind of pleasure that left her trembling all over. He would never get tired of that.

Jenny was concentrating on his hands touching her body, his lips caressing her skin, thinking how far they'd come in less than four months. With his name slipping from her lips, Jenny closed her eyes and smiled. Being pregnant had its benefits, and wanting her husband more than she had in months was definitely one of them.

**NCIS**

Despite the fact that she had to resort to looser than normal dress pants this morning when the button on her favourite ones refused to do up, Jenny was feeling good about herself today. She'd compromised on her hair-do, leaving it half up the way she liked it and half down for her husband.

The lilac knit sweater she wore was one of the most comfortable articles of clothing she owned, and as a special touch that only Gibbs would understand, a butterfly necklace and heart link bracelet, along with the diamond earrings that always took both of them back to Paris, became her adornments.

It had been a good day so far. Gibbs had come up to the office a couple hours ago to kiss her goodbye before leaving for the crime scene, and her memory of the love in his eyes as he left was the reason Jenny sat at her desk still smiling and daydreaming instead of reading through the stack of reports on her desk.

Then the phone rang. She answered it as professionally as she always did but the sound of Ducky's voice on the other end made her stomach churn. Jenny had to force herself to listen to his words, to believe what he said, when panic threatened to overwhelm her. And then he gave her a mission, more likely because she was the only other one around and it would be best to keep her busy until they returned.

Walking past her assistant in a daze with a faint, "Hold my calls Cynthia," Jenny made it to the elevator and pushed the number for the lab. The seconds passed agonizingly slowly as the car descended. Abby turned around when she heard the elevator ding, surprise on her face when it was Jenny instead of Gibbs who stood in her doorway. Grabbing her remote, she clicked off the ear splitting music.

"Hi Director." She tried to make the greeting sound cheerful, but something in Jenny's expression gave her a feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach.

"Abby," Jenny moved a little closer, "I don't want you to worry but I have some-"

"Don't say bad news," Abby whispered, hugging her arms tightly around herself. "Please don't say it's..." she paused and Jenny wondered who's name would be first on her lips, Gibbs or McGee. But Abby found she couldn't choose between her surrogate father and her new fiancé. "Any of them," she finished. "They're my family Jenny."

"Mine too," Jenny reminded her.

Abby reached for Bert and looked down, taking a deep breath. "Okay, just tell me."

Jenny put her hand on Abby's arm. "The team walked into an ambush today at the crime scene."

"No," Abby's eyes were already filling with tears.

"Take a breath Abs, they're okay. They're at the hospital right now getting checked out. They'll be back as soon as they're cleared."

Jenny was having a hard time staying calm for Abby. As much as Ducky had assured her that Gibbs and the others were fine, she wouldn't be able to believe it until her husband was standing in front of her and she could touch him to see for sure. She took a deep breath, waiting for the girl's reaction.

"The hospital!" Abby yelled. "If they're okay, why are they at the hospital?"

"Minor injuries only Abby." Her hand strayed to her stomach, wanting to protect the innocent life inside her.

Abby picked up on the gesture and tried to calm down, knowing she wasn't the only one who was worried. It was Jenny's husband and the father of their baby that might be hurt. In a frenzy of not knowing what to do, she swallowed her boss's boss in a hug.

Jenny hugged her back gently. Her phone beeped and Jenny looked down, brightening. "It's a text message from Tony, probably because Jethro doesn't know how to do it." She met Abby's eyes and smiled. "They're back."

There wasn't even a question of if Abby was coming up with her. Both women hurried to the elevator. They made it to the bullpen just as the team was coming off the main elevator, looking a little worse for the wear. Tony sported a black eye and a painful looking cut on his forehead covered by gauze. He also favoured his right knee. Ziva had her right arm in a sling and two fingers on her left hand taped together. Gibbs was walking a little slower and had bruised knuckles from a fight. But Tim was on crutches and Abby made a beeline for him first.

McGee saw her coming and looked at Tony with a pleading expression. "Interception!" he whispered, needing to get somewhere stable before he got tackled with one of Abby's hugs, much as he was looking forward to it after this morning. He was still learning to work the crutches. Falling over in the middle of the bullpen would not only be embarrassing but painful.

Tony was feeling generous after escaping the ambush today with his life, and stepped in front of Abby before she collided with her fiancé, catching her hands in his.

"Hey Abs, he's okay, just give him a second." Frustrated at not being able to go to McGee immediately, Abby smothered Tony with a hug. He hugged her back, thankful to have her for his little sister. Once Tony saw Tim propped against his desk, he let Abby go. "Okay, he's all yours now."

"Timmy!" Abby threw her arms around his neck and McGee held her tightly. The attack had rattled him and he needed the comfort of her against him right now.

"Hi Abby."

She pulled back and smacked his shoulder. "Is that all you can say, 'hi Abby'? You're not supposed to get hurt!" she declared emphatically. Sending a glance around the squadroom at the rest of the team, she repeated it. "None of you are."

Tim chuckled. "Not our first choice. I promise Abbs."

"But you're okay, right?" She put her hands on his cheeks, looking him over for other injuries.

McGee shrugged. "Nearly broke my ankle when I fell down the stairs chasing a suspect, but I'll live. Ducky said I'll be on crutches for a couple weeks, so I guess it's desk work for me for awhile." He traced a finger down Abby's cheek and pulled her close for a kiss. "Other than that, I've got a few bruises. I'm fine Abby, really."

She hugged him tightly again, so glad that it wasn't worse. When Abby looked back at her fiancé, her expression welcomed no arguments. "You're staying with me until you can walk again."

McGee struggled to find a way around that which didn't include hurting Abby's feelings. He shook his head. "It's fine Abby. I can still get around."

"You can't walk Tim!"

"I have crutches."

"You'll need help with some things."

He nodded. Her statement was probably true. "Well, maybe Sarah could stay for a few days. I haven't seen her much lately. It might be some good bonding time."

Hurt flashed in Abby's eyes and Tim knew she didn't understand what he was trying to protect them from. Her eyebrows rose along with her voice. "You're going to marry me in a month and you don't want to stay with me? How does that work McGee? You want your sister around more than me?" Abby knew it wasn't fair to make him choose between her and Sarah, but she couldn't see why he was trying to get out of it.

Tim shook his head. "That's not it. Of course I would rather it be you Abbs. I just..." He ran a hand down his face. "Gosh Abby, do you have any idea...don't you know how much just being around you affects me? Staying in the same apartment when we're so close to getting married..." He didn't know how to explain anymore, but it seemed that she finally got it.

She smiled and tapped a finger thoughtfully against her cheek. "Oh. I see your point. Okay, well, I'll stay at your place instead and sleep on the couch. And Jethro can be our chaperone."

"Abby," McGee tried again but her lips closed over his before he could finish his thought.

"Let me help Timmy. I promise not to tease you...much," she grinned.

He rolled his eyes. "Very comforting. Alright," Tim sighed, "you can stay. But once I can hobble you really have to go back to your place until February 28. Deal?"

Technically they'd have to move everything into their new apartment that they hadn't started looking for yet, a few days before their wedding, but she didn't bother mentioning that. Running her fingers through his hair, Abby smiled and kissed him again. "Deal."

**NCIS**

Just outside the squadroom Gibbs stood with Jenny, who was fussing over his bruised knuckles. His hand automatically moved to rest on Jenny's stomach, where he could just feel the slight roundness of her baby bump.

Jenny's eyes shot up to him. "What aren't you telling me Jethro?"

Gibbs' eyes caressed his wife's face. "You shouldn't worry. It's not good for you." This significant look he gave her added, _or the baby_, because he didn't want to say it out loud.

Her gaze turned hard. "I will worry until I know exactly what is wrong with you!"

"What?" he tried to chuckle and winced. "Bruised knuckles aren't enough?"

She shook her head. "Your whole team is injured Jethro, I doubt you're the only one who got off easy." Jenny's hands trailed lightly down Gibbs' chest, feeling something extra under his shirt. She checked - the wrap went all the way around his mid-section. Gibbs closed his eyes and Jenny's expression immediately softened. "How many?" she asked.

He shrugged one shoulder. "One. The rest just hurt."

Jenny's hand found his face. "Do you always have to play the hero?"

"What?" Gibbs asked, eyebrows lifted.

"Usually you only break ribs if you tackle someone or if you get shot." Her eyes narrowed. "And if you got shot and didn't tell me I'll kill you myself."

Gibbs smiled. "I love you too."

Jenny leaned up to kiss him and Gibbs held her carefully. "I'm so glad you're okay," she whispered into his shoulder. "That phone call from Ducky scared a couple years off my life."

Gibbs pressed a kiss to her hair. "Me too Jen. But I've got so much to live for, there's no way I'd mess that up."

Jenny didn't argue, even if she knew he'd risk his life again to save someone he cared about and worry about the consequences later. She rested her head on his shoulder, thankful just to have him back in one piece. Broken ribs would heal, but even Leroy Jethro Gibbs wouldn't be able to come back from the dead. She prayed it would never come to that. Jenny didn't want her husband to miss their baby's birth.

**NCIS**

Tony looked at Ziva again as she struggled to tear open the wrapper to her fruit bar. After watching another couple tries and hearing a few growls of frustration, he stood up and moved to her desk. "Ziva, hey, let me help you with that."

She jerked the package away from him. "I can do it Tony. I am not helpless." Having her independence temporarily taken from her was most annoying. But when she was still unable to get the package opened with one arm immobilized against her chest, finally Ziva handed it back to her partner. "Here."

Tony ripped the shiny paper and peeled the wrapper down, handing it back to her. "Anytime." He forwent any teasing comment that might've presented itself. Right now she was angry enough that just her looks could kill. He didn't really want to provoke the assassin. He'd already almost died once today and that was enough.

Ziva picked up a crumpled piece of paper on her desk and tossed it across the room into Gibbs' garbage can in a fit of temper. "If only I had not fallen," she lamented.

"I think diving out of the way of a bullet is a good reason to end up on the ground," Tony pointed out, still feeling his heart in his throat when he thought of her being hurt.

Ziva glared at the sling her arm was in. "It seems I was not fast enough."

"How bad does it hurt?" Tony ventured to ask.

Ziva waved away his question. "I have been through much worse."

"Zi, how bad?" Tony asked again.

"It is only a graze Tony."

"It was a bullet Ziva!" His voice rose and Ziva's eyebrows followed.

"Were you worried about me Tony?" she asked, surprised.

Tony raked his fingers through his hair. "I heard the gun go off and saw you fall. You're my partner Ziva, what do you think?"

"Tony, I am fine," Ziva reassured him, feeling slightly unnerved by the care she saw in his eyes.

"How about a movie night Ziva?" Tony started, completely switching gears because he obviously wasn't getting through to her. "I know it's supposed to be tomorrow, but we could have one tonight too. It's not like there's a rule of only one a week or anything. And I'll cook for you. I'm sure it's easier than you trying to make supper with one arm."

"Tony..." Ziva looked unsure.

"Come on Zi, please? I can do Italian," he added hopefully.

The pathetic look on his face made Ziva feel like she was refusing a puppy. Finally she sighed. "Alright Tony, I will come for a movie night."

"No driving Ziva," Gibbs said, though they knew he'd been talking to Jenny.

She wrinkled her nose. "May I also have a ride?"

"Tell you what - we'll take movie night to your place. That way you're already home and you can kick me out when you're tired. Deal?"

Although, he had absolutely no intention of leaving. And he'd spend the rest of the day thinking up reasons why he should sleep on her couch every day for the next week. Actually getting away with it would be the tricky part. But he was a DiNozzo and it was all about the execution. Good thing charm was his strong suit.

"Yes Tony," Ziva smiled, liking his suggestion better all the time, "it is a deal."


	49. Chapter 49

_A/N: Hello dear readers, I am back! However, not to the capacity I'd hoped. ANB will henceforth be updated once a week (probably Mondays or Tuesdays) while I try desperately to convince my muse to inspire me as I write for two different couples. I am so sorry for the long delay, I hope no one has completely given up on me or my stories. _

_Thank you all so much for reading!_

_~Aliyah_

Once Abby was completely convinced that McGee was okay and things were sorted out in that area, she rushed at Gibbs. Seeing a potential disaster coming, Jenny stepped in front of her. Abby stopped in her tracks, looking confused and on the edge of hurt.

"Abby," Jenny said firmly, "take it easy. Gibbs' ribs are bruised, one broken. I know you want to hug him, but you need to be very gentle. Pretend he's made of glass."

"Gibbs." The whimper slipped from her lips and Gibbs held out his arms to his youngest daughter.

"I'm okay Abs, really."

Not entirely sure whether she should believe him or not, Abby slipped her arms around Gibbs' neck, barely touching his torso. Gibbs held her gingerly, aware of the pain even a slight amount of pressure would cause. But this was Abby and she needed the reassurance, so he hugged her just a little bit tighter than was comfortable.

When she pulled back, he kissed her cheek. "That's what I needed."

Abby's smile lit up and she turned away, her world right again, while Ziva became her next target. Involuntarily the Israeli took a step back when the Goth headed towards her. Abby saw and crossed her arms. "What hurts?"

Rolling her eyes because Tony was waiting for the answer to that question more anxiously than she would like, Ziva still mustered a smile for her friend. "My arm. But I can hug you with this one."

Abby tut-tutted over Ziva's poor broken finger and looked at her closely for signs she might be hiding something else. Finally deciding that Ziva was alive and mostly well, Abby took the one-arm hug that had been offered and squeezed Ziva tightly. "I'm so glad you guys are okay. Don't do that again! You scared me."

"We are fine Abby," Ziva reassured her. She turned dark eyes towards the sling she wore. "Next time we will be faster."

Headed back to her fiancé, Abby glared over her shoulder. "There better not be a next time." It didn't sound like that was a negotiable order. Sitting beside Tim on the edge of his desk, Abby leaned against him, still not ready to return to her lab just yet. "Okay," she said with resolve, "tell me what happened."

**NCIS**

At Gibbs' insistence, Jenny let the team stay to finish out the afternoon, but made sure everyone knew that tomorrow was quite soon enough for them to turn in their incident reports. Abby was eventually encouraged to return to her lab so McGee could at least pretend to get something done, and promised she'd be back in a few hours to take him home.

At the end of the day Jenny informed the group that she was turning their case over to Agent Fuller's team and declared the MCRT released from active duty until all injuries had healed and they could re-take their fitness qualification tests. All four agents grumbled about the decision, but mostly because they knew it meant they'd be up to their eyes in cold cases and bored to death while they waited for the sentence to be lifted.

Jenny stood at the catwalk and watched the team leave, catching Gibbs' eyes to mouth 'I love you'. She wished he didn't have to go without her, but she had Director stuff to do and couldn't leave early. It was funny though, being able to see how things played out from a distance.

Tony hovered near Ziva like a shadow, nearly stepping on her heels as he followed her to the elevator. Annoyed already at her lack of independence, Ziva bristled with irritation and Jenny hoped Tony wouldn't come in tomorrow sporting another bandage. Hopefully he would learn fast.

Abby kept pace with Tim's slower moving crutches, talking a mile a minute about nothing in particular. They didn't make it to the doors in time to share a car with Tony and Ziva, so they waited patiently for the elevator came back up. The hug McGee got wrapped in looked like a combination between comfort and need, and Jenny had to admit they were one of the cutest couples she'd ever seen. Their wedding would definitely be an event.

Gibbs was the last to leave, holding her gaze until the last possible second. The worry must've been shimmering off her, because he gave her the ASL sign for 'ok' just before touching his heart and signing 'always'. Her husband did not make it easy for Jenny to go back to her office, but some things had to get done whether she was feeling like it or not. Still, even buried in details, Jenny kept a close eye on the clock. She really couldn't wait to go home.

**NCIS**

"I'll get the door Tim!" Abby announced, racing ahead to unlock it while he kept a slow but steady pace with his crutches.

Having had the entire afternoon to practice, McGee was now getting the hang of working his new supports and was glad he'd only fallen once and not somewhere Tony had seen him. When Tim reached the door to his apartment, he had to smile at the sight of Abby getting enthusiastically licked by a company deprived Jethro the dog.

Abby giggled and turned her face, trying to ward off the sloppiest part of her furry friend's greeting. "Jethro, stop!" she said with a huge smile on her face, pushing the big dog back a couple inches. "Sit."

He did and cocked his head, whining at her. For that Abby hugged him around the neck and scratched behind his ears. "Who's my good boy? Did you miss us Jethro? Poor puppy alone all day in that apartment. We'll make it up to you tonight, I promise. We'll-" she swivelled her head and glanced sympathetically at her fiancé. "I mean, I'll take you for a nice long walk in the snow and we'll go find that tree you love at the park."

Abby stood up and kissed Tim on the cheek. "Sorry. We'll miss you."

McGee rolled his eyes. "Sure you will. You just want our dog all to yourself for half an hour." Her eyes lit up and Tim knew it thrilled Abby to hear 'our' just as much as he loved it when she said 'us' and 'we'. He nudged Jethro with one crutch. "Make way for the injured, Marine."

Abby tapped her leg and the German Shepherd followed her in, certain food was coming next. McGee watched with a smile, then eased down on his couch and leaned back with his eyes closed, a tired sigh escaping him. Barely two minutes passed before a warm weight settled beside him and Tim opened his eyes to see Abby holding up a glass of water and two pills.

"Whatever Ducky gave you earlier has got to be wearing off by now," was her logic.

Accepting the pills without a fight, because this was Abby and she would win, McGee smiled at his dog who decided to join them. Jethro sniffed a crutch first and then the tan wrap covering his master's foot. Looking away, he sneezed and Tim and Abby laughed.

"It's no fun for me either buddy," McGee explained and Jethro laid his muzzle on Tim's knee. Then Abby's fingers slid between his and he glanced at her. "Of course, there are some definite perks."

Turning slightly, McGee drew his fiancee closer and pressed his lips to hers. The fear he'd felt earlier at the crime scene and the relief that had washed over him once he'd held Abby in his arms again back at NCIS combined to make his kiss hungrier and his touch more needy than usual.

Pressing herself into him, Abby drank in the taste of his lips and let McGee take the comfort he needed from her. But before they could get too involved, Jethro barked and tried to wedge himself between the two of them. Abby broke away, laughing, but Tim glared at his dog and said firmly, "No. Down Jethro." The German Shepherd did as he was told but the look he gave McGee made him sigh and he ruffled the dog's soft brown ears. "It's okay boy."

Abby had kind of figured out what was going on and tucked herself into his side, resting her head on his shoulder. "It's okay Timmy. We're okay, I promise."

McGee wrapped his arm around her back and covered her hands with his. "I wish I could promise that every day Abbs and it kills me that I can't." He swallowed hard and leaned his cheek against her hair. "We could've died today Abby, any one of us."

Abby's body stiffened, this didn't sound like the cut and dry, detail free synopsis they'd given her earlier.

"When I fell down those stairs, the guy turned and aimed his gun at my head. Gibbs tackled him and threw off the shot." He rubbed his hand over his eyes, remembering what he'd watched while laying there practically helpless, scared again for one of the first times in a long time.

"Ziva only just missed taking a round in the chest when she dove and Tony took out the man who tried to shoot her. But the third guy took a swing at his head with a knife and if he hadn't ducked with Ziva yelled, he'd have a whole lot more than just a nasty gash."

Ever admission made Abby tighten her grip on him, but Tim barely noticed, lost in the memory. "Gibbs was fighting with a broken rib and one of them still got away because he kicked Tony's bad knee and he went down. None of us were able to get a shot off quick enough."

He ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't remember another case since Damon that all of us got hurt and this was worse. All I could think about was you and how I didn't want to miss being with you because of something stupid like being set up."

Abby was silent, thinking about how easily she could've lost the most important people in her life today. Suddenly she started crying, unable to help herself. It was too awful to think about. As much as he could, Tim pulled her closer and held her even more firmly than before.

Her grip around his neck was a little too constricting, her tears were dripping down his collar and her hair was getting in his eyes, but McGee didn't move. All he wanted he had, holding the woman he loved in his arms. Nothing was worth more than this moment.

**NCIS**

It was after nine pm when Jenny finally made it home, assuming Gibbs' house before her detail turned towards it. The first floor was dark except for the light above the stove in the kitchen and the glow shining through the cracked open basement door. Slipping out of her heels, Jenny let her hair down and tiptoed down the stairs. Gibbs sat on a stool by his workbench, swirling a measure of bourbon in a jar and staring forlornly at his boat. She raised an eyebrow.

"You better just be contemplating that drink Jethro," Jenny said firmly, crossing her arms as she came to stand in front of him. "Ducky would have your head if you mixed liquor and those painkillers."

He tilted the liquid thoughtfully. "What about when we used to use bourbon as a painkiller?"

Jenny lifted the jar out of his hand and put it on the workbench. Moving to stand behind him, she dug her fingers gently into the tight muscles of his shoulders. Gibbs dropped his head and groaned. Jenny stopped to check. "Good or bad?"

"Hurts, but in a good way," he ground out, keeping his eyes closed.

Nodding, she continued, using fingertips and the heels of her hands to knead at the knots. Jenny worked her way down the top part of his back, stopping just above the wrap. Then she ran her hands back up and slid her fingers into his hair, gently massaging his scalp. Gibbs leaned into her touch, needing the contact with her. All he wanted to do was hold his wife and be close to her. What happened earlier had really shaken him up. He wasn't ready to leave Jenny yet, today had been too close.

Finally Jenny kissed his head and sighed. "Don't scare me like that again Jethro." Gibbs reached for her hand, tugging her in front of him. She stood between his knees and stared deep into her husband's eyes. "I can't lose you."

He raised his head and framed her face with his hands. Because he couldn't promise, he said the next best thing. "I love you Jenny."

Desperate for reassurance again, Jenny leaned down, wanting to taste his kiss. Gibbs responded with equal need and pulled her flush against him. For a space of time that stood still, both husband and wife were lost in each other. But this time when desire stirred in Gibbs, it was wholly unwelcome.

"Jen," he panted, pushing her away, "don't. I can't..." Gibbs looked down, frustrated by his current limitations.

Biting her lip because she wanted what they couldn't do every bit as badly as her husband, if not more, Jenny sighed. "I know Jethro." She put two fingers under his chin and tilted his face to look at her. Love and appreciation shone in her eyes as she smiled at him. "My turn to be patient."

A wealth of understanding passed between them through her words and Gibbs lowered his head and lifted her shirt to kiss her small baby bump. "I just want you to know how much I love your mommy, Squirt. She's the most special lady there is."

The baby nickname just slipped out before Gibbs had time to think about it. And just as sure as Kelly had become 'Peanut' after their first glimpse of her in Shannon's ultrasound, so this child was now 'Squirt' until the day he or she was born.

Jenny's eyes filled with tears as she listened to her husband talk to their baby for the first time. When he stood, she leaned close and touched her lips to his. "Let's go to bed Jethro." He raised an eyebrow and she bit back a smile. "I promise I'll try to keep my hands to myself."

Blatantly, Jenny let her eyes drop down her husband's body and back up, then she winked at him and swung her hips a little extra as she walked away. Gibbs glared. Jenny was not going to make this easy. But still he followed her, knowing that whatever temptation came next, there was nowhere else he'd rather be.

**NCIS**

After good old spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread and cheese as comfort food and a comedy that made them both laugh, Tony and Ziva were feeling the long day and Ziva finally decided it was time to call it a night. Tony stretched out on her couch and sighed, closing his eyes as the weariness caught up to him.

Ziva stood and rolled her shoulders, wincing as the movement aggravated her injury. It was going to be a long few days of healing. Glancing at her partner, Ziva shook her head and smiled. With the hand not strapped to her chest, she pulled the blanket off the back of the couch over him.

Tony cracked open one eye and frowned. "What are you doing?"

Ziva tilted her head. "It is late. We are both tired. Perhaps it is best if you stay here tonight. I do not want you to get in an accident trying to drive home."

Tony blinked. That was easier than he thought. He hadn't expected her to be the first to offer. But instead of acting too pleased about the arrangement, he threw her a teasing look. "Oh Ziva, I never knew you cared."

Ziva rolled her eyes and tossed one of the throw pillows at him. "Good night Tony."

He watched her for a second. "Y'know, if you need some help undressing, I'd be happy to-"

A magnet bounced off his forehead and Tony could feel Ziva's glare before he met her gaze. "Finish that sentence and you are a dead man."

Tony nodded, allowing his expression to grow serious as he stood up slowly. "All jokes aside Zi, you have one arm in a sling and two fingers taped together, getting changed is going to be difficult." Knowing he risked his life by getting closer to her, Tony did it anyways. "I'll be a perfect gentleman, I promise. I'll keep my eyes closed, hold your clothes, whatever you want. Just let me help. It's got to be less frustrating than trying to do it without hurting yourself."

Beginning to regret the invitation she'd extended, Ziva sighed. "Fine. But remember that I can still severely injure you with one hand."

Tony chuckled. "Yeah, I figured. That's why I'm going to be on my best behaviour."

She raised an eyebrow inquiringly. "Do you have a best behaviour Tony?"

His smile was small. "It's a little rusty, I admit, but I'll use it for you Zi."

Tony's tone left much to explore, but Ziva didn't have the energy to think any more tonight, so she just led him back to her bedroom and grabbed the t-shirt and flannel pants she'd be wearing to sleep.

Tony eyed them curiously. "Not exactly what I expected."

Her eyes flashed, signaling that he was headed into dangerous territory. "And what did you expect?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, something more...exotic." Tony grinned. "Something like what you wore undercover."

Of course he would bring that up. "Well, maybe if it was not twenty degrees outside, I would."

"Really?" Tony looked far too happy about that and Ziva huffed.

"Are you going to help or not?"

Tony cleared his throat. "Right. Uh...what do you want me to do?"

Ziva fiddled with the clip on the sling and undid it, trying to hide the wince as she slid it off. Quickly she realized that getting her shirt off with only one hand wouldn't be easy. As she started to use her teeth to hold the sleeve so she could pull her arm out, Tony stepped forward.

"Hey, I can do that."

Annoyed that she needed his help, Ziva nonetheless relaxed and allowed him to help her with the shirt. She could hear him swallow behind her when she was left standing there in her bra and pants. Unable to resist a teasing smile, Ziva glanced over her shoulder, but Tony's eyes weren't focused on her chest as she'd expected. Instead he stared at the gauze wrapped around her upper arm, shielding the angry red gash the bullet had scored into her skin.

It was the concern that got her. "I am alright Tony," Ziva said softly.

He nodded tightly. He'd never really seen her hurt before, not like this, though the incident where she was set up last year had left her bruised and bleeding. "Should we change the dressing?"

"Probably," she agreed slowly, not entirely used to seeing this side of him. "There is a case under the sink in my bathroom."

Without a word he turned down the hall and returned a minute later with the black container. Opening it, his eyes sought hers. "You need this stuff often Ziva?" Tony didn't like the amount of supplies she stocked.

"I am Mossad," Ziva replied, "it is best to be prepared for anything."

"You're NCIS now," he countered petulantly, reaching for the gauze and bandage scissors.

Instead of arguing, Ziva just sat still, holding her breath as he gently cut through the wrapping on her arm. She stifled the hiss of pain when he pulled it away from the wound and noted her partner's set jaw. He did not like to see her hurt.

With hands more gentle than she'd ever imagined his could be, Tony swabbed the gash with disinfectant, wincing in sympathy because he knew it would sting. Carefully he smeared on a layer of the cream Ducky had sent home with her and re-wrapped the graze, very intentional and focused on what he was doing.

When Tony pressed a strip of bandage tape on the gauze to hold it in place, Ziva smiled. "Thank you Tony."

He cleared his throat. "Sure." After taking a breath, he met her eyes again and they were smouldering with emotions she could not untangle.

Ziva stood and turned her back to him, easing her bra straps down one arm and then the other. Tony's eyes widened and she handed him the t-shirt. "Please hold this."

Tony did as he was asked, helping Ziva get the shirt over her head and both arms in. Then she slid her good arm up the shirt, trying to undo the clasp on her bra. It wasn't as simple as she'd hoped with two fingers she couldn't use and after a few seconds, Ziva felt Tony's warm hands slide up her back and his fingers replaced hers, releasing the little hooks with no trouble.

For a second neither of them moved, then Tony took a step back and looked away, trying to get over how much he'd been affected by his partner. For months after she'd joined the team all he'd wanted was to get into her pants, but Ziva was no longer just an object he hoped to get pleasure from. She was his partner, his friend, and she was beginning to matter to him so much more. Now she was injured and he was here, glad to have the opportunity to take care of her.

By the time he turned back, Ziva was pulling the pj pants up to settle around her hips. Before she could even try, Tony returned to his place in front of her and tied the strings in a neat bow. Ziva looked up and gently touched the bandage on his forehead.

"How is your head?"

Tony forced a grin. "Better than my knee." One injury too many back in college, and a direct kick didn't help at all. His knee was throbbing and if he put too much weight on it, Tony wasn't sure it would hold him.

Her expression was sympathetic. "There are aspirins in the medicine cabinet and ice packs in the freezer. Use them," she said pointedly.

"No vodka?" Tony joked and her gaze sharpened.

"Not with a head injury," she warned.

Tony nodded and picked up the sling, getting her arm situated properly again before he left. Ziva frowned. "I do not need this still."

He raised an eyebrow. "You want me to tell Gibbs you're not following orders?"

"No one likes a tattle tell," she retorted.

"G'night Zi," Tony ended the almost argument.

Her face softened. "Good night Tony. Thank you for your help."

His smile was both sincere and joking. "For you Ziva, anytime." Then he winked at her and headed back to the livingroom.

Ziva looked after him a moment before getting gingerly into bed and trying to find a comfortable position. Tonight had given her a lot to think about.


	50. Chapter 50

As it turned out, Abby did not sleep on the couch Wednesday night like she promised. After hearing about the gravity of the ambush and crying for a long time because she was scared and thankful all at the same time, Abby glued herself to Tim's side and basically refused to be more than six inches away.

While McGee didn't want his fiancee to stay trapped in fear, he indulged her for the night, holding her close for hours as they spoke in whispers and drawing his strength from her soft familiar scent and the warmth of her body resting on his.

When it came time to go to bed, Tim awkwardly got himself off the couch using his crutches and headed for his room. Abby trailed him as far as the door and stopped. McGee looked back over his shoulder and smiled. "You know where my extra t-shirts and pj pants are, help yourself." He smiled into her hopeful green eyes. "I don't want to be alone tonight either Abbs."

Abby's smile lit up and she took three steps into the room to kiss him. "Thanks Tim," she whispered.

Then she changed in the bedroom and he changed in the bathroom because it would take him longer. They brushed their teeth (some of Abby's stuff had been inconspicuously creeping into McGee's apartment over the last couple months and he had no complaints) and got into his bed like it was the most normal thing in the world.

As soon as Tim was settled, Abby cuddled up next to him, quite content to use his chest as her pillow. McGee smiled and wrapped an arm around her, sighing in contentment. Twenty-nine days...

**NCIS**

Thursday morning Jenny got out of bed as quietly and unobtrusively as possible. She showered and dressed, keeping the bathroom door closed to minimize sound. Before leaving for work, Jenny went around to her husband's side and leaned down to plant a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"I love you Jethro." Her words were barely a whisper and Gibbs didn't even stir. She smiled briefly and left to join her security detail outside.

It had been a rough night. Aside from it being the first of several where they hadn't indulged in physical pleasure, it was difficult for the couple to find a position to lay in that didn't cause Gibbs some sort of pain. Even with Jenny's insistence that her husband take the pain pills he despised, the broken and bruised ribs, not to mention general soreness, made it hard for him to get comfortable.

Jenny ended up sleeping on her own pillow for a change, while Gibbs lay flat on his back and wouldn't let go of her hand. Neither had slept well - Jenny because she was worried about him and Gibbs because every movement irritated his ribs. He'd forgotten how annoying they were to break.

Gibbs woke up at 0715, groggy and grumpy, and his mood wasn't helped by the fact that his wife had left without saying goodbye or the knowledge that they were all on desk duty for weeks or the realization that drawing a full breath made him want to lean over and groan in pain.

When he couldn't handle one broken rib without acting like a baby, Gibbs knew he was getting old and he didn't like that either. It was never a good thing to be reminded of his age or that he wasn't as young as he used to be and recovery took longer now than it had sixteen years ago when he started at NCIS. Running a hand down his face, he sighed. It was going to be a long day.

**NCIS**

Team Gibbs got their latest start since last year's kidnapping case, coming into the office at 0830, and all were in less than favourable moods. Tim was irrationally bothered because Abby insisted on staying at his apartment with him while he got ready instead of going into her lab early as usual in case he needed something. He hated feeling like a burden.

The cut on Tony's head throbbed where he'd hit it on one of Ziva's cupboard doors because he wasn't paying attention, and dealing with a temporarily independence deprived ninja had left him feeling tense and strained. She hadn't wanted his help getting dressed, but needed it anyways.

Far from the tender moment they'd shared the night before, Ziva had been short tempered with him this morning, insisting he keep his eyes closed and his hands to himself. Tony sighed. It had taken half an hour of sitting at his desk, but he decided there was no point in being annoyed at his partner. If he couldn't get dressed by himself or do what he normally did, he would probably be difficult too.

Ziva huffed in frustration for the tenth time in the last hour. She couldn't do anything except read over the old case file on her desk. Even typing was out of the question with two fingers taped together, unless she wanted to peck out the letters one at a time like a child.

A steaming mug of tea appeared on her desk and Ziva looked up, meeting her partner's gentle smile. Tony didn't say a word but when he sat down and glanced across the room, she was sipping her tea with a lightness in her eyes that hadn't been there all morning. _Step 1: Cool irritation with kindness - check._

**NCIS**

It was after lunch before Gibbs made his way up to Jenny's office. She looked up at the click and removed her glasses. "How are you feeling?"

He shrugged, then drew his eyebrows together. "You didn't say goodbye this morning Jen."

She tilted her head to the side and smiled. "I did, you just weren't awake to hear it."

Gibbs pouted. "Don't I get a kiss or something?"

Rolling her eyes, Jenny got up and went to him, smoothing her fingers over his cheeks before touching her lips to his. Gibbs' mouth was hungry for her and he took control of the kiss very quickly. His hands came up to grasp her upper arms and draw her into him.

When Jenny pulled away, he didn't want to let her go. She tried to take a step back but couldn't and immediately tensed. "Jethro, don't."

The tone of her voice set off warning bells in Gibbs' head and he removed his hands as he took a step back. "Jen?" he asked, concern lacing his words.

Jenny turned away and wrapped her arms around herself, closing her eyes. He counted the deep breaths she was taking, wishing they didn't still have to deal with the effects of October. Finally she looked back at him, her expression clear. "Sorry."

Gibbs stared at her. She was not getting off the hook that easily. "Don't what?"

She frowned. "Pardon?"

"You said 'Jethro, don't,'" he quoted.

Jenny sighed. "You wouldn't let go and I felt...trapped." Her eyes met his blue ones. "I freaked me out a little bit. Now all I want is a hug because I don't want to think about October any more, and I can't touch you without hurting something."

Letting the guilt roll off him because Jenny's flashbacks and panic attacks were something they couldn't do anything about except work through, Gibbs opened his arms. Jenny moved into his space carefully and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Gibbs held her as tightly as he could without his ribs protesting and for several minutes they just stood there, basking in the time alone. It ended with a kiss and a teasing reprimand from Jenny to stop distracting the boss before she sent him back downstairs.

**NCIS**

That night they were in the livingroom watching the news, Jenny laying on the couch with her feet in Gibbs' lap and one arm across her stomach. Because he couldn't touch her like he wanted since he was too sore still to finish anything, Gibbs insisted on giving her a foot rub. Not one to turn down pampering, Jenny agreed.

It was quiet and comfortable, a perfect way to spend the evening together. Then something happened and Jenny tensed, trying to figure it out. Gibbs froze, wondering if her moment of panic earlier had brought friends. They both waited - Jenny for it to happen again and Gibbs for an explanation - until slowly a smile spread across Jenny's face. Curious now, Gibbs looked at her questioningly.

"What Jen?"

One hand was pressed to the left side of her abdomen and a light twinkled in her eyes. "I think she's moving Jethro."

Even though he knew it was too soon for him to feel anything if this was the first time for Jenny, Gibbs still tugged her close and laid his hand near hers. Jenny smiled, understanding. "What does it feel like Jen?" he asked hoarsely, taken back to another time when Shannon first felt Kelly's movements.

Looking up at him with love shining on her face, Jenny shook her head. "How do I describe it? The movements are so tiny Jethro - it's like...butterflies fluttering. It's so soft I might not have noticed if I hadn't been holding still."

Gibbs' mouth covered hers then, excitement conveyed in his kiss. Jenny put her hands on his face and captured his lips in hers. The making out lasted only seconds before Gibbs' ribs and lungs interfered, but then it didn't matter. Their baby was growing, moving, making his or her presence known and it was amazing.

Caressing the small bump, Gibbs choked back the emotion that threatened tears. "Can't wait 'til it's my turn Squirt," he said softly, glancing at the happy tears on Jenny's face, "but your mommy is so happy to know for sure that you're there."

He kissed her softly, gently wiping away each tear that fell, and brushed back a strand of hair. "This is real Jen, this is our baby."

She gave him a watery smile. "Uh huh. And only twenty more weeks plus labour and delivery before we get to meet this little one. Don't you wish we were there already Jethro?"

Gibbs shook his head slowly. "No Jen. I don't want to rush even a second of this. If we did, we might miss something and we only get one chance to make these memories."

She nodded slowly, then cuddled against his less injured side. The rest of the world faded away and it was only them and the brand new life their love had made.

**NCIS**

It had been months since Rachel had all but declared herself family, weeks since Jenny had given her a key to the house, so she'd gotten pretty used to letting herself in. She turned the lock, tapping on the door lightly and announced herself as she stepped inside.

"Jen? It's Rachel."

Slipping off her boots and hanging her coat on the rack, Rachel walked into the livingroom, stopping short at the sight of her best friend curled up with her husband on the couch. Eyes widening, she looked from one to the other and bit her bottom lip. "I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?"

Gibbs and Jenny exchanged glances before Jenny shook her head and stood to hug her friend. "So you are alive!" she teased. "Haven't heard from you in almost two weeks Pollyanna, I thought maybe you'd up and left me again."

Rachel dropped onto the empty couch cushion and rolled her eyes. "I know, I know, sorry. When the other ladies in reception told me registration for the winter semester was crazy, I didn't think they meant it literally." She shook her head. "Things have been going nonstop until the last couple of days. I promise I'll warn you next time I'm gonna drop off the face of the planet for half a month." Then Rachel sat up, crossed her legs and smiled. "So," she asked brightly, "what did I miss?"

Again with the looks shared by the couple, Rachel was starting to feel left out. Jenny raised her eyebrow and when Gibbs nodded, she turned back. "It's been a crazy week here too Rach," she confessed. "Abby and McGee finally got engaged on Monday." Jenny paused when Rachel squealed, always excited about that kind of stuff. "And yesterday the team got a little banged up at a crime scene."

Reading more into that than Jenny had said, Rachel narrowed her eyes. "Banged up how?"

Gibbs shrugged, trying not to wince. "Tim's got a sprained ankle, Tony's knee is messed up and he has a cut on his head. Ziva broke a finger and got grazed."

Rachel's eyebrows arched. "Grazed?"

"By a bullet Rach," Jenny explained softly.

"And you Jethro?" the brunette asked. "Don't think I haven't noticed how easily you're not moving."

Trying not to smile, Gibbs decided that if he ever had a sister, she would've been much like Rachel. "Bruised ribs, one broken."

Rachel closed her eyes. "Oh Jethro. What part of don't get hurt don't you understand?"

Gibbs shook his head. She'd issued the order after the kidnapping case with Jaz and Bri back at the end of October. "Not always that easy Rachel, wish it was though."

She frowned. "Well, I'll forgive you this time, but try not to let it happen again."

He coughed and then held his breath while both women winced in sympathy and Jenny rubbed her hand lightly over his chest. "Yeah, I'll see what I can do."

Silence settled for a minute before Rachel spoke again. "So, what were those looks when I got here all about?" Having been friends with Jen as long as they had, she was not above being nosy.

Gibbs and Jenny locked eyes again and Jenny looked at her best friend, excitement lighting her face. "I felt the baby move tonight."

Rachel's mouth fell open. "No way, that's awesome!" She scooted closer and put her hand on Jenny's bump. "I want to feel!"

Jenny laughed. "You sound like you're six Rach."

A frown creased her brow when nothing happened. "How long do I have to wait?"

"I hate to break this to you, but it'll probably be a month before you can feel it from the outside."

Rachel pouted. "You hear that Little Bug? Mommy is hogging all these new developments to herself. Seriously, you need to...grow faster or something."

Jenny raised an eyebrow. "Lectures already?"

Ignoring her, Rachel moved back to her previous place on the couch. "What does it feel like?"

Jenny smiled, having expected that her best friend would want the details. "Really light, like butterfly wings tapping the inside of my skin."

"Neat," Rachel grinned, wiggling like a little kid who was too excited to hold still. "This calls for a celebration. Hot chocolate with mini marshmallows anyone?"

Gibbs chuckled and Jenny shrugged. "Why not?"

Rachel jumped up and Jenny kissed her husband's cheek. "I better go supervise."

He smiled. "I want extra marshmallows in mine." Kelly always loved putting the fluffy white pillow shaped trimmings on her hot chocolate, then letting them melt before she drank it. It was her version of having whipped cream on top, because Shannon insisted on saving that for special occasions.

She laughed. "As you wish."

Gibbs leaned back against the couch and listened to the laughter that ensued when both women were in the same room. All in all, it had been a pretty good day.

**NCIS**

Abby and McGee sat at his kitchen table eating supper. Abby had prepared an array of Southern comfort food and McGee was enjoying being spoiled. They sat in companionable silence briefly after Abby finished another story about her childhood adventures with Bubba the coon dog. Jethro lay in the livingroom, watching them with sad eyes. He wasn't allowed in the kitchen during meals and even Abby's begging hadn't changed that rule.

Finally Abby glanced over at her fiancé. "Timmy, did you call your parents yet?" She hadn't planned on asking, she didn't want to push, but the question kind of just slipped out and Tim set his fork down, immediately growing pensive.

He cleared his throat. "Uh...no, not yet."

Torn between feeling hurt and trying to figure out why McGee looked like that, Abby strove to keep her tone casual. "Why not?"

His gaze flickered to her before falling back to his plate. "My dad..." Tim sighed, "he wasn't like yours Abby. Maybe he loved us, but he was never around and when he was, nothing was ever good enough for him." McGee rubbed his forehead. "I haven't talked to him since I started at NCIS."

Abby's eyes widened. "Timmy, that's..." she trailed off.

"Five and a half years, I know."

"You haven't talked to either of your parents in that long?" Abby tried not to think about the fact that she hadn't talked to her mom for nearly eight months before she died because of a stupid argument, and then it was too late to work things out.

McGee shook his head. "I call Mom on her birthday. Sarah and I have been doing our own Christmas together since she moved here. But she still goes back sometimes."

Abby looped her arm through his and leaned against his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

He put his hand over hers. "Mom might come Abbs, but I don't know if I'd even want my dad there." Tim kissed the top of her head. "Maybe Gibbs can stand in for both of us."

Abby's smile was a glimmer when she looked up. "He loves us Timmy."

"But he doesn't say it either, at least not to anyone but you."

Her hand brushed the back of his head. "Tony always says the headslaps are a sign of affection."

"Gibbs has told me 'Good job Tim' more often in four years than my dad said it for my whole life."

Abby didn't know how to make it better. Leaning up, she kissed the corner of his mouth. "I love you Tim."

He turned to her and tiled her chin up, needing more. Their mouths met and joined, Tim's lips coaxing Abby's apart. She kissed him back, letting the moment draw out, but finally pulled away. "I guess I'm gonna have to sleep on the couch tonight, huh?"

McGee blew out a breath and looked down. "Yeah, I think so." His expression became apologetic. "Sorry Abby."

She smiled. "Don't worry, Jethro will keep me company."

Tim caressed her cheek. "Only twenty-eight days more. I love you babe."

Abby held his hand against her face, love present in her eyes. "Always Timmy, I promise."


	51. Chapter 51

"I need to have a shower," Ziva announced as they walked into her place that night. She wasn't sure why her partner was following her around, but it hadn't yet annoyed her enough that she wanted to make him leave.

"Need some help with that?" Tony asked with a grin, sounding far too pleased about the prospect.

Ziva glared at him. "I will kill you-"

He rolled his eyes. "I know, I know. Twelve different ways with your curling iron or twenty ways with the nearest turkey baster or thirty-five ways with your bare hands." Tony made a gesture of surrender. "I get it, you don't want my help."

Frowning because she wondered why he sounded discouraged, Ziva headed down the hall. "I may be awhile."

Tony shoved his hands into his pockets. "Yeah, okay, I'll start dinner. What do you feel like?"

Ziva tilted her head, considering the question. "Soup. There is some in the freezer, it just needs to be thawed."

"On it," he smiled.

Grabbing what she needed from her room, Ziva entered the bathroom and locked the door behind her. At first she just looked at herself, then sighed and began the laborious task of undressing. She refused to let Tony help this time, it would just be begging for trouble.

Starting with the clip at her neck, Ziva eased the sling off. She needed her teeth for the shirt and fumbled with the button on her pants, but finally got it. Her bra was the hardest so Ziva took the straps off and eased it down, turning the clasp around to the front where it was easier to manipulate.

Finally undressed, Ziva turned on the water hot, twisted her hair up in a clip and got in. The spray felt delicious on her skin after two days. For a long time she just stood there and let the water stream over her, the steam filling up the stall relaxing, but eventually she had to get on with it. Even with her fingers taped together and a sore arm, Ziva managed to wash herself and shave. By the time she got out, she felt clean and human again.

Wrapped in a towel, she glanced in the mirror again and sighed. She still needed help. Opening the door, Ziva stuck her head out. "Tony?"

He stepped into the hall. "Yeah?"

She bit her lip. "Can you do me a favour?"

"Anything," her partner declared, moving forward. "What's up?"

Ziva frowned. "I cannot wash my hair."

The request dawned on him and Tony grinned. "At your service, m'lady."

She rolled her eyes and backed into the room. A towel lay folded on the edge of the tub, her favourite orange citrus shampoo beside it. Ziva knelt down and waited. Getting on his knees next to her, Tony reached for the shower head and tested the temperature. He turned her head to the side and began to wet her thick hair.

Ziva closed her eyes as he got the shampoo in his hand, relaxing when Tony's fingers began massaging her head. After working it into her hair, Tony rinsed it out and moved on to conditioner, sliding his fingers through the wet silky waves. "I could get used to this," Ziva murmured and Tony agreed. But he settled for something less personal.

"I saw this in a Bourne movie once."

Ziva opened one eye to look at him, enjoying the feel of the hot water washing away the rest of the conditioner. Her hair finally felt clean. "And how did it end?" she asked, wondering how it was that he had a movie scene for every moment.

Tony swallowed and reached for a towel to wrap her damp hair in, realizing too late that he'd chosen the wrong memory. Rubbing the excess water out, he tried to keep his tone light and didn't look at her. "With a kiss."

She quirked an eyebrow at him. "You should be so lucky."

He focused his gaze on her hair, trying to dry it a little more, giving himself an excuse to remain close to her. "What are my chances?"

It was too soon to take him seriously, so Ziva pretended she hadn't noticed the tone in his voice. "In your dreams Anthony."

"Yeah," Tony said under his breath, "sometimes." Then he covered with a grin. "So, where's that first aid kit? I think your bandage needs changing."

Accepting that it was better this way, not letting things get too personal, Ziva sat on a stool and waited, knowing Tony was right. She hadn't let him look at it this morning. When he came back, Tony motioned for her to sit on the counter instead, so he could stand in front of her.

Unwinding the damp gauze, he gently touched the outer edges of her wound. She watched passively, determined not to show weakness this time. "No sign of infection," Tony commented, reaching for the salve Ducky had insisted she use. He put on a thinner layer than last night and re-wrapped the graze with a clean, dry bandage. "There," he smiled, "all good to go."

This was the moment he should've taken a step back and let her get down. But instead Tony threaded his fingers into her damp wavy hair, letting them trail down her uninjured arm and picked up her right hand. He frowned at the soggy tape that was getting close to falling off. Ziva had refused the splint, saying it looked ridiculous and was completely unnecessary, so the doctors had settled for taping her middle and ring fingers together firmly in two different places.

Turning her hand over, Tony reached for the roll of bandage tape he'd seen earlier in Ziva's first aid case. Being as gentle as he could, Tony pulled the end of the tape free and took it off slowly. He winced in sympathy at the dark bruising on her ring finger. Resisting the sudden and probably deadly urge he had to kiss it better, Tony wrapped fresh tape around the top part of Ziva's fingers before taking off the second piece of old tape and doing the same thing.

Ziva held very still for the whole procedure, hardly daring to breathe. Tony was so close and he was looking at her so...differently. She wasn't sure what to make of it. She could have easily broken his wrist when he drew his fingers through her hair, but it felt so nice to be touched that way. With Tony holding her hand, Ziva was having a hard time concentrating, so she pulled away and pushed him back gently so she could stand up.

"Well, I guess I should go put on something more than just a towel, yes?"

Tony's gaze flickered down her body and back up. "Do you have to? Because I think-"

Whatever he was about to say got cut off when Ziva's elbow collided with his stomach. He bent over with a groan to try and catch his breath and she walked away smirking. It was much easier to deal with Tony being Tony. When he started acting like at grown up, that's when it got dangerous.

**NCIS**

Friday Director Shepard did not show up to work on time because Jenny was having a crisis. Cynthia received a terse phone call from Agent Gibbs at 0700 instructing her to reschedule any morning appointments and not to expect her boss in until lunch time. Then he hung up before she could say a word.

Similarly, Tony answered the phone to Gibbs' gruff, "You're in charge until I get there DiNozzo," with no other explanation. By the time the team gathered in the squadroom at 0800, because there was no point in showing up early when they couldn't work cases from anywhere except their desks, everyone was very curious and a little concerned.

It had all started at 0645 after Jenny got out of the shower. She allowed her husband to steal a few kisses before pulling a smart looking navy pantsuit from the closet. Disappearing into the bathroom because she teased that Gibbs was too easily distracted, she shed the towel and started the process of getting dressed.

Then the moment Gibbs knew was coming happened and he heard her frantic exclamation through the partially closed door. "No no no no no. Dang it!"

Alarmed, he sat up, threw off the covers and hurried over. "Jen? Are you okay?"

The door was slammed in his face but Gibbs could still make out Jenny's voice as she slipped back into her long ago habit of talking to herself. "What am I going to do? This is awful. I guess I knew it would happen sometime, but why now? I have to get ready, I have to go to work. This is not the time for things not to work! Ohhhh."

A noise that could only be Jenny throwing something against the wall, probably her hairbrush from the clatter, made Gibbs abandon caution to enter the room. Jenny stood in the middle of the floor in her bra and underwear, arms crossed as she glared at the pants lying in a puddle beside the tub.

"Jen, honey?" Gibbs asked. "What's wrong?"

Jenny huffed and pressed her lips into a thin line. "I can't get the button on my pants done up."

If it had been anyone else upset by something so minor, Gibbs would've snorted, glared or headslapped them. But this was his wife and even if it had been almost four months, a change like this was just one more thing she had to deal with. Gibbs hated it, but the reality was that Jenny had lost her confidence in being a beautiful, desirable woman after the rape.

Because of the scars, because of her fears, because of the memories, Jenny was self-conscious about her appearance. Having always been slim, the idea of her body growing even if it was for the best reasons, was still something they were working on.

First things first, Gibbs walked over and pulled Jenny into a hug. She refused to relax, holding herself stiff against him, but Gibbs could be patient. He let his fingers trail through her damp hair, smoothed his hand over her back, and rubbed little circles into the base of her neck like they had all the time in the world.

Unfortunately though, that was still a place she couldn't always be touched and Gibbs felt Jenny's heartrate speed up, could hear her breathing coming faster - flashback symptoms. Moving slowly, he repositioned his hand at her waist and bent his head close to hers.

"It's okay Jenny, it's okay. No one's gonna hurt you. I'm sorry."

He'd apologized more in the last few months than ever before, and just hearing the words caused Jenny's resistance to melt away. She pressed herself into him, her arms finding a home around his waist as she buried her face in his shirt.

Jenny wanted to tell her husband without words that she was tired of it too, all the after effects of rape that followed her. But she didn't have the words and against her will, tears welled up and spilled down her cheeks. Gibbs held his wife while she cried, mourning something she couldn't even put a name to, before helping her into her robe and sending her downstairs so Noemi could spoil her with a big breakfast. The housekeeper was thrilled to see Jenny's appetite coming back and spent hours in the kitchen trying to tempt her into eating more.

As soon as she left the room, Gibbs grabbed his cell and made the first two calls to get work covered. The last one was a long shot, but he could hope. It rang three times before a sleepy voice came on the line. "Hi, you've reached Rachel. I'm not very awake right now, so I hope you're either my mom or my best friend."

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Best friend's husband count?"

Rachel sat up. "Jethro? What's wrong?"

He sighed. "Got a situation. Can you take a personal day?"

She checked her watch. "Don't have to, it's Friday."

Gibbs pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it in confusion for a minute. "You work on Fridays Rachel."

Rachel smiled. "Yes, but once a month I get Friday off and today is one of those days."

He let out a breath. "Good."

She waited a beat. "So, are you going to tell me why you're waking me up on a morning when my alarm clock is set for 0900 instead of 07?"

"Jenny's eighteen weeks and she finally can't fit into her regular clothes. I need you to take her shopping for the kind of maternity clothes that will make her feel good about herself."

"I'll be there in half an hour," Rachel promised. For a second there was silence and Gibbs thought she'd hung up. Then her voice said softly, "Thanks for calling Jethro."

A few minutes later Gibbs joined Jenny and Noemi downstairs and the couple shared a leisurely breakfast in hopes of distracting Jenny from the crisis at hand. Forty minutes later Rachel blew in the front door, much to Jenny's surprise and Gibbs' relief.

"Still in your bathrobe at 0750 Red?" Rachel teased. "My, my, someone is getting lazy."

Jenny raised an eyebrow. "You're late leaving for work Pollyanna."

"Day off," Rachel said, hopping up to sit on the counter. "And you and I are going to practice some mall therapy."

Shooting a look at her husband that accused him of being a tattletale, Jenny sighed. "Directors can't play hooky Rach, it doesn't work that way." She glanced at her watch. "I should've been at NCIS twenty minutes ago."

Rachel cut her eyes to Gibbs and he took a sip of coffee. "Your schedule is clear until noon."

Before Jenny could start in on him if that had been her plan, Rachel jumped down, grabbed Jenny's hand and dragged her towards the stairs. "Come on, we need to get you dressed."

Jenny balked. "Nothing fits Rachel."

"Yoga pants and one of those long sleeved shirts you have is plenty acceptable for the mall, especially since we're going clothes shopping anyways." It looked like Jenny was going to be stubborn as she clenched her fists and narrowed her gaze. Rachel crossed her arms, preparing to do battle. "I've worked in day care, camps, and with special needs kids. Do you have any idea how many annoying kids' songs I know?"

Jenny eyed her. "You wouldn't."

The smile Rachel gave her was anything but reassuring. "I can sit here and sing them as long as you can take them." When Jenny didn't move, she opened her mouth. "It is the song that never en-"

"Stop!" Jenny covered her friend's mouth. "I give. Let's go."

A gleeful look filled Rachel's face. "Yes ma'am."

On their way out the door Gibbs slipped his credit card into Rachel's hand. Then he kissed Jenny goodbye. "Have fun."

She glanced warily at her best friend. "It's going to be an experience, that's for sure."

Rachel was already out the door and dancing around in the snowflakes that fell softly down. "Come on Jen! You're missing it."

Jenny smiled. "You ever get the feeling we're looking at Abby in about fifteen years?"

Gibbs considered this and finally nodded. "Minus the black." He chuckled. "I can't wait until those two meet."

Jenny put her hand on his arm. "One thing at a time Jethro."

He lifted her hand and kissed her fingers. "Whatever you say Jen."

She grinned. "Be careful. I still have a shot at winning the bet."

Gibbs shook his head. "See you later."

"Love you too."

"Always," he promised, waving at Rachel. "Drive safe."

Rachel's hands flew to her hips. "I'm a great driver."

"Time to go Rach," Jenny encouraged. Once they got going, Gibbs and Rachel really did start to sound like siblings.

Gibbs watched the women drive off and slowly closed the door. He knew Jenny was in good hands. Being with Rachel was enough to distract anyone out of a bad mood or anything else. Smirking, he turned around. Wait until Meredith heard the news this weekend, there wouldn't be enough hugs to cover her excitement.

"Noemi," he called, "I have an idea for dinner. You got a minute?" As long as Jenny was smiling when she got to the office, he'd consider everything that happened this morning worth it.


End file.
